We will help you get your mom off drugs!

My younger sister was addicted to heroin, she got arrested, my mom bailed her out, she got on a drug simular to methodone to get clean. She was going to meetings, seeing a counselor, and being randomly drug tested. She starts to miss her meetings (court mandated) and slacking again with only 2 months of her program to go. Though, she is not doing heroin again (drug test all come back negitive) but is re arrested and sentenced to 6 months of in house residency (rehab)

There really was no reason for her to stop going to these meetings, other then her just not wanting to go. What makes people do things that they know will get them in trouble even when they aren’t under the influence of drugs?

My mother thinks she has a psychological problem, I do as well. Like the fear of being successful. I’m sure what happened with this last instance, was that she forgot or ended up not going, knew that she was going to get in trouble for it but rather then do anything about it she chose to ignore
it and just waited to be arrested again.

This confuses me very much. Anyone have any insight on issues like this?
I should add that she was doing good for 10 months (she was on at 12 month program)
I never said I didn’t love her, I’m trying to better understand her (and maybe myself). I just don’t know why someone 10 months into a program with 2 months left to go would all the sudden stop…she would have been free of all this if she just stuck with it for two more months. This is a tendency that happens very much in our family. Not just with her, but me too. Though, usually it happens with school for me…not following through. I can not answer this question for myself either.

My sister is a blank face to you, you do not know her name, her age, where she lives. Why shouldn’t I bring up a real situation that I feel is psychological?
Also the problem with my sister, is that she is not honest, and is in denial most the time. I understand the trust issue, but I believe she really doesn’t trust anyone, and I don’t know if she actually knows what causes her to do this. A big example of the trust thing, is that she didn’t even tell her (live in) boyfriend what was going on and that she knew she was going to be arrested again.

My mother has recently flipped out and we do not know why. The symptoms she showed Wednesday night were hyperventilating, claiming to not remember anything, pounding headache, screaming and crying, shaking and confusion. Tonight, she hallucinated, still is confused and still has the headache. Yes, she is an alcoholic and takes anxiety pills and there are some other pills in her nightstand (we do not know what they are for.) What should we do? What is wrong with her?
My mother has recently flipped out and we do not know why. The symptoms she showed Wednesday night were hyperventilating, claiming to not remember anything, pounding headache, screaming and crying, shaking and confusion. Tonight, she hallucinated, still is confused and still has the headache. Yes, she is an alcoholic and takes anxiety pills and there are some other pills in her nightstand (we do not know what they are for.) What should we do? What is wrong with her?
*Edit* She has been taking the pills for a long time and has never freaked out like this.
She has been taking these pills for a long time and has not freaked out like this for years.

Ever since I was 10 my grandmother has been raising me, and as long as I can remember , my mom has been a pill poppin animal always choosing her pills over her kids.

I remember one time when I was 6 years old,I saw my mom having sex in the living room, I didn’t know what she was doing at the time, but she told me to go into my room, and later explained that it was just “medicine for her stomach” She said that her stomach was hurting really bad, and that helped her feel a lot better.

I just saw her a few days ago, and she had the audacity to tell me that i’m ungrateful for everything she’s done for me, and that I should respect her. Respect her for what? Bringing me into the world? because I didn’t ask for her to do that, and any person could make a baby, taking care of the kid is where they should recieve respect from.

She always talks about how “hard” her life is, and no one cares about her, when we’ve put her in rehab 6 times!!!!! One time she left me at the school to get high, I had to walk home after my dance recital, and it was in a very dangerous neighborhood. She tried giving me a crystal ball, thinking that would rekindle our damaged relationship, I threw the crytal ball to the ground, shattered it, and told her to leave my apartment (She sold my nephews playstation 3 for $50.00 to buy pills, and sold my plasma TV for $60.00) I worked so hard to buy those things, and it’s nothing to her but drug money. I want NOTHING to do with her, I HATE her.

& religious people, don’t come in here saying “You should respect her because the bible says so”, I’m not religious and I don’t beleive in all of that, so those rules don’t apply to me.

My mom doesn’t affect my life anymore because I don’t really worry about it too much,I don’t care about her, nor do I think about her, I’ve gotten over it, but some people keep telling me i’m wrong for cutting her out of my life!! Do you think it’s wrong??? I want nothing to do with this woman!
Also, i’ve always seen her with guys that beat her, and one time I called the police, got the guy arrested, and she held it against me and told me that i’m ruining her life!!!

She’s ALWAYS been in abusive relationships, and cries about it, but when people try to help her, we’re “ruining her life”
Wth, i don’t want her in my life!

I don’t really think about her! The only reason wh I posted this question is because some of my LOVED ones, and those who are dearest to me beleive that i’m too harsh on her, when I don’t want to deal with her AT ALL because of the problems she put me through and i’m not trying to go through that bullsh*t anymore!

I just wanted you all to know why I feel the way I do, but the concern is because of what some of my loved ones said, not because i’m constantly thinking about my mother.

i think there is something seriously wrong with me that no one else is picking up on.

i’ve been thru anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, my dad’s alcoholism, my parents’ unstable marriage, my mother’s cutting insensitivity and i’ve always been sensitive, and have very controlling parents. i don’t want sympathy, because other people have been thru worse.

all i’ve ever wanted was to feel like i was loved and like i belonged. i’m only 19 but i’ve had my heart broken so many times by people who didn’t even know they were breaking it because i was so afraid of coming off as too emotional, clingy etc.

i’m starting to realize that my dreams of being loved are not going to come true. i know the importance of loving thyself, and i’m learning but enough already.

i just get so irritated at times. can someone tell me what i’m doing wrong? or are some people just meant to be alone?

I smoke cigarettes because i feel like i need them and i can’t stop no matter what i do. I stole my mothers Valium because i felt like a spaz and now would do anything to get more, and i mean anything. I took a few Vicodin i bought off a kid because i needed some kind of drug, and i want to take more even though i took a triple decker so it isn’t safe. i don’t want to kill myself, i just want to take prescription pills because they make me feel better. I pay ridiculous amounts for them, and i just started a few days ago. Do i need rehab?
I live in such an innocent place, except for the apartments down the street. thats where i tried weed for the first time, and thats where i get all my stuff. I wish i could tell my mom, but shes the kind of person that would say i was attentionseeking and i was trying to ruin her life or something like that. i almost feel like it has to get worse for it to be legitimate, i mean i’ve only been doing this for a few months, but in combined time ive spent on drugs only a few days.

Before I could get to the depot station, she got runned over by the danged ole train!

Truth is not a set of facts; truth is faithfulness. Read “Ethics” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: a school boy has a dad who is a drunk and the boy is often late for school because of his father’s alcoholism. The boy comes in late to class and the teacher calls him out saying something like “why are you late? Was your father drunk again?” What is the true response? If the boy responds factually he says “yes” and betrays his father, in violation of the commandment to honor thy father and mother. If the boy responds in order to be faithful to his father, he says “no” and makes up an excuse so as to protect his father, in supposed violation of the commandment that says thou shall not lie. We in the West are too bent on facts. Faithfullness and honest representation are what are most important.
Bonhoeffer also offers this scenario in the same book: you are a Christian hiding Jews in your basement in Nazi Germany. Gestapo knock on your door and ask if you have seen any Jews today and you have because you were just downstairs. What do you say? Do you answer factually and “trust God” as I have heard some people say? or do you “lie” for all you’re worth to protect their lives and your own? Common sense should be employed here, for the notion to tell the “truth” and trust God is Pollyanna at its worst.

Jesus teaches us to follow the Spirit of the law, not the letter. However, religion is afraid of this because it is uncomfortable with people thinking for themselves. Following the Spirit requires maturity because immaturity will rationalize away our committments in various situations and justify doing things we shouldn’t do. This is what many religious people try to avoid in teaching others to follow the letter of the law. Unfortunately, this contradicts the teaching of Christ.

I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for me to believe that a female is in love with me or is even interested in me. I had a girlfriend this summer and she was wonderful to me and she said she loved me too. But every time, about 5 to 10 hours after I left her sight, I would start believing that she had no real interest in me and she was just hanging around me to feel sorry. I can hold deep, in depth conversations with females and I’m definitely getting positive signals from them, but as soon as we part, I just assume that I was being narcissistic and that they have no real interest in me. I have a mother who suffers from depression and alcoholism. In general, I just hate myself. Also, I run a ton every morning to try and curb these feelings; the running keeps me from being depressed and makes me extremely energetic and active, but it doesn’t take away the belief that no one will ever love me.

Also, because of this belief and because I have a natural tendency to be very flirty, I tend to shy away from most conversations with females simply because I know I’ll just end up putting both of us in pain if they end up with me.

I posted this somewhere else and one of the responses was “humility is an admirable quality.” Humility is not admirable when you have an hour long conversation with a girl and she seems interested in you, but you force yourself to believe she’s not… and because that’s so painful to you, you don’t allow yourself to be anywhere near her. Especially when this girl is the one thing that has been able to calm you down in about 2 months of rapid-fire ridiculous jokes and rants that you perform for people just to get attention. Humility isn’t admirable when you’re sitting in a high school class and a girl that you’ve been flirting with for half a year (and that you feel sees through all your bullshit and knows who you are) says that she’s in love with you and your only response is “Why are you saying that?” All because you can’t believe someone can love you. That’s not admirable. That’s called crazy.

okay. this is about my friend sadie.
i will use here name for the sole purpose of you being able to keep up with this.
and here we go:

in the 5th grade, my friends and i wanted to try out new subcultures, as we wanted to distingush our selfs from everyone else. eventualy,we got to the goth scene. we really liked it. it has great music, we all dressed like that anyways (our parents were all the original 80′s either punk or goth) and it was just awesome. but sadie and i made a pact: if it didn’t work out for us, individualy, we would back out. i said sure.

time went on. the group and i all enjoyed it, except for sadie.

sadie began to freak out. she said she didn’t want to be part of it any more. we said fine, your still the same person on the inside, and that’s why we love you.

but she said.. over time.. that she wanted friends that except
her. we do. we don’t care what she looks like on the outside, but we wanted to stick with it. she kinda became disgusted.

time went on, with the same akwardness caused by the previous episode, and sadie and i are both catholic. her mother, freaked out when my brother didn’t get confirmed. so she was convinced we would turn her inside out. sadie soon anounced that she would be going to catholic school, after an incident with her older sister, in mexico, with drugs and hookers. (she is the polar opposite of her sister.)

so far, her mother is convinced that we/me:
want to make her into an anti-religon person.
want to make her kill her self.
make her do drugs (no of us do).
make her like her sister.

after the 6th grade year, we began to question why this was asking, so we asked her, whats the issue?

she said that she didn’t want to be a crack smoking satanist worshiping bastard. we were all like “?”

we found out her mom fed her a complete diet of BULL SHIT.

now she has to abandon her relation with us in all aspects, and she was my best friend, it really hurt my heart muscle.
because her mother is convinced we will kill her, and that she will live in hell for her time.

sadie is unhappy at catholic school, with her new brain washed, dumb shit friends, and her lock down.
she told me she wants to be accepted, and that we should let her do that.
but she told me these exact words : “… i don’t care if i will be a hermit, on that loves the gill more girls, i just want to be smart and popular. fuck you guys, go have fun smoking weed and flippin’ burgers!” and then she hung up on me.

i don’t know what to do. i am crushed.
what did i do wrong?

my mom was a drug addict while I was growing up. She was abusive in every way except sexual. at times she would wake my while asleep to beat me and scream at me because SHE did something wrong. I never, even as a teen and I knew I could, hit my mom back.
Now my moms been clean for about 4 yrs. She has completly changed and is now the mom I never had. She helped me purchase a little used car and is also helping me support my two daughters. Because of my moms addiction, I was forced to grow up in fear of her and being raised in the housing projects. My mom also abandoned me when I was 15 and left the state becuase she was running from the law. I had to find a place to live and I got myself emancipated when I was 16 and got my own place.
The problem is, I feel hurt and left out and other feelings I can’t explain.
my mom and stepdad are doing really well finacially and are purchasing there first 3 bedroom house. the problem is, my mom has a tendency to say things without thinking how it makes the other person feel. She told me that my stepdad signed papers so that if anything happens to them my daughters will get everything they have. That made me feel so hurt and left out. I never did drugs, I go to school (college) and I’ve always shown respect for my mom. I love my daughters and I’m so happy that they would do that for them but it makes me feel like I don’t matter at all. My brother whose 20 (I’m 25) did drugs and just finished doing a year in prison and just finally put himself in a rehab. for a year. My mom and dad are giving him a truck if he finishes the program. am I being selfish? I don’t know I just feel all my hard work meant nothing, the bad people always seem to get the good stuff. why even try? I feel like telling my mom that I need a break from are relationship.
I’m so hurt I feel like saying that but I don’t want to hurt her feeling even though she hurts mine alot apperantly without knowing it. Even a mutual friend told me she does that. Now that she’s clean I feel like she dug me and my brother with her in a deep whole and she got herself out and just left us there. i never quilt trip her or anything, I just keep the hurt suppressed because I don’t want to hurt her. Should I tell her anything?

like leaving a glass in the sink,or a bar of soap in the tub,she yells and screams like i just killed someone. I left a glass in the sink and she told me I had a fat ass (which I don’t) and to get out and I was homeless,etc. I pay all the utilites at our place. She has not talked nicely to me in five days,and yesterday I told her she is behaving wrong and she tells me she thinks I am on drugs, or was drinking after work. Neither. She started a fight with a neighbor because they left a towel by accident on her car. How do you hadle this behavior especially when you are trying so hard to make a nice life for your Mom and yourself. I buy all new furniture for her, flat screen tv’s and am now doing her bedroom over for her,and this is how she behaves. What is wrong with someone who does nothing wrong but to better their life style and this is what I get. How do you handle the yelling and name calling.

Okay, so i’m really stressed. I’m preparing to go through a bankrupcty (possibly) we still haven’t spoken to a lawyer yet. I have two kids back to back one from dec. 06 and one currently from dec. 07. I am a stay @ home mom and take care of them all day. It is really stressful and sometimes…..

when the kids are asleep and my hubby is @ home watching them or asleep, I slip away and go to my favorite sub shop and order a chicken finger sub with swiss, blue cheese, lettuce, tomatoe, mayo, and fried onions and deep fried french fries. I know that i need to lose weight but being couped up in a house with no real outlet or real interaction in a new neighborhood with the kids …..thats the only happiness or break you could say I get. And frankly eating that awsome sub is the highlight of my day.

And frankly, thats BAD!!! I shouldn’t depend on food…I am just going through a rough time right now but ….isn’t this a dangerous habit since I do it alot with all types of food?

I asked a similar question like this last night, but I would like some more opinions/advice.

I am 20 years old and since the day I could remember my parents have abused me. I have scars on my body from my mother punching me, bashing me into walls, cutting me with knives etc. I have nightmares of my dad trying to choke me, hit/punch me etc. Not to mention the years of emotional/verbal abuse they gave me. My father passed away when I was 16. My mother is a drug addict/alcoholic who has been since I was born. She went into a downward spiral the day my dad died and took out everything on me. I have found my mother passed out on the floor from her trying to kill herself, I have had to give my own mother mouth to mouth/CPR due to her trying to kill herself. I have (myself) admitted my mother into rehab 5 times, it hasn’t worked. She stays sober for a month and than goes back to her old ways.

I have been told my whole life I wasn’t supposed to be born, how I was a mistake. How I am the reason my parents were and are unhappy, how I am a b*tch, and how I am an ugly/disgusting person. My mother called the police on me when I was 17, because she didn’t want me anymore. The police saw that I was terrified of my mother, how I had my lip bursting with blood (due to her punching me) and told me to live with my brother, which I did. I than moved out of my brothers house when I was 18 and I continue to live on my own with my boyfriend who I have been with since I was 15.

The thing is, am I wrong to hate my mother? Is it wrong of me to not want anything to do with her? She calls me everyday and I try so hard to be nice, ask how she is and be a good daughter. But she just tells me how she is going to kill herself because of me, and how I am a horrible person for ME leaving HER. I am so depressed and all I want is a mother, because I have never had one. That’s all I have ever wanted.

Am I wrong to not want to talk to her? Am I wrong to be feeling this way (feeling like I hate her)?
I should mention she is bipolar and has multiple personality disorder. She is on medication. She is also engaged, so she is not alone and by herself.

Right, backstory first:
Both of my bio parents are drug and alcohol addict. My bio mother works as a prostitute to fuel said addictions. Hence, she is a whore. I refered to her as that in another answer on here: a drug and alcohol addicted whore, because that’s what she is. I was in their care for eight years during which time I was abused in every way you can possibly think of.

I received a message a little while ago telling me this: “How bout YOU **** OFF MKAY. How bout this is a free country and I can say what ever the hell I want. You can’t handle being called a jerk but you can degrade and dehumanize someone who gave you LIFE on a forum?? I don’t care what someone did. WE all make mistakes in life. Who are you to judge someone? No it is not my business but you make us all look bad when you say such degrading things about the woman that gave you life. Calling someone a whore and a lowlife druggie… what a JERK. Im sure you and your perfect adopter are just so perfect and never make any mistakes. PISS OFF.”

I think the fact that she [and my bio father] had EVERY help possible to get off the drugs, to clean herself up and to be allowed to keep me after I went into foster care but she couldn’t be bothered, gives me the right to judge her. I was her flesh and blood who wasn’t enough incentive for her to change her life.

I never once said my adopters were perfect, or that I was, I just stated that she is a drug and alcohol addicted whore. It’s not a lie, it’s the truth. The person who sent the message seems to think that just because my mother gave birth to me, that gives her the right to do whatever she wants to me.

I’m not trying to rant here, honest, I’m genuinely curious if this opinion is shared. I just want to know if I have the right I think I do to be saying that when she seemingly has the right to abuse me for half my life.

Thanks in advance!
I just want to clarify one thing also: I don’t refer to my b-mother like that generally, it was because the question was about a-mothers being jealous of b-mothers, so I was saying that my b-mother is a drug and alcohol addicted whore, therefore my a-mum is not jealous at all.

My mother is a alcoholic, she has been since my parents divorced 15+ years ago. My sister denies our mothers problems, stating it is stress (from the divorce, etc., even though it was 15 years ago) My mother constantly calls me, drunk, and tries to pick a fight with me, about anything! My mother does not do this to my sister (I feel it is because she favors my sister). Since my fathers death 3 years ago, her drunk harrassment towards me has become worse (I was a “Daddy’s girl”) She tries to find any and everything wrong with my daughter. I love my mother, but her annoying ways are pushing me further away from her. I know that if my mother calls me past noon, she is drunk and wanting to start a fight. My mother constantly reminds me that she should be intitled to some of my inheritance from my father, and that I should GIVE the house that he left me and my sister. I ignore her calls sometimes, and I feel bad, but don’t want to listen to it. Am I wrong for ignoring her? Thoughts/advice?
I do not live with my mother, I am 25, and live with my husband.

Me and my dad haven’t gotten a long ever since i was 13 and i am 15. Up until then he was the nicest dad i good have, he got me what i wanted/needed and never had a problem with him. Then when i get to 14 he becomes the devil. He didn’t call me on my birthday and Christmas. I love him not only because he’s my dad but All i want for Christmas is for him to call me on Christmas. He’s never done drugs nor has a drinking problem. I know he wont but i really need to talk to him, i miss like mad. My parents divorced twice and i live with my mom and my step dad. I would really like him to. I’ve not talked to him in almost a year now and that’s all i want, and i can hardly talk about this, I sometimes lay in bed and constantly look back on the good times i had with him and then end up crying because i compare how he was to me when i was 12 to when i was 13-15 and i realize what a change that was and if everyone else knew and had a problem similar to this then you could understand. if your thinking that i got abused physically i did not. i got abused emotionally and it’s got me so torn up. All i want is to hear his voice on christmas and if came true i would be so happy. i don’t have his cell # and don’t know it and he claims he don’t have mine but i’ve gave it to him 3x and put in his contacts.
the only thing is I don’t know his phone number, there is no way i could contact him. Mom got remarried in August/12/2005 so when i was 12.

I feel awful! I was so frustrated because she doesn’t want to listen and denies everything that has happened in my life. She went to prison for social security fraud and said it was all my fault- I was only 14 when she went to prison at the time and the fraud had been going on since I was 5. There is no reasoning with her. Both she and my father who I never see are alcoholics, but she denies it because she thinks drinking beer does not quantify as an alcoholic!

I feel awful! I was so frustrated because she doesn’t want to listen and denies everything that has happened in my life. She went to prison for social security fraud and said it was all my fault- I was only 14 when she went to prison at the time and the fraud had been going on since I was 5. There is no reasoning with her. Both she and my father who I never see are alcoholics, but she denies it because she thinks drinking beer does not quantify as an alcoholic!

I read an article a little while ago about a mother who killed her brain damaged son with heroin.
He suffered a severe brain injury after falling out of a moving ambulance (How does one fall out of an ambulance?).

She said she could no longer watch him suffer and she did it with love in her heart. She didn’t believe he’d ever get better (Even though doctors thought he might recover) so she couldn’t watch him live in such a helpless condition (Oh, she tried killing him one year before she actually succeeded).

Her entire family supported her and apparently everyone who knew her son didn’t see what she had done as murder, but as a loving and courageous act.

My mother-in-law has “age spots” covering her from wrist to elbow that are terribly purple. Recently, she told me that she’s having vaginal and rectal bleeding, yet refuses to see a physician.

I fear it may have to do with the drinking/liver. She is also a heavy smoker.

I know it’s impossible for me to make her see a doctor, but what do you think is wrong?