We will help you get your mom off drugs!

My husband has 2 daughters: one 24 years old and the other one 17. The old one works and lives with her boyfriend. The younger lives with us and dropped School and it is not working. My husband feels constantly worried for his daughters due to his ex-wife is very irresponsible. She is a prescription drug addicted and collects disability. She always has financial problems and manipulates their daughters to get money from my husband. For example she gets problems with bills, obligates her older daughter to give her money and then the older daughter comes complaining to my husband. So, finally my husband ends paying his ex-wife bills. On Christmas he gave big extra money to his girls to buy gifts for their mom and friends. My step-daughters are old enough to buy the gifts with their own money. I understand buying Christmas gifts for his daughters but giving them money to buy gifts for others. It was not making much sense to me. My husband looks worried to lose their daughters if he doesn’t help their mother. Lately he asked his ex-wife to go to a rehab and he will help her with a place where to live. I feel like he feels guilty and obligated with her. I mentioned him that his ex-wife has a big family that she sees every weekend and has sisters. Her family should help her, not him. He answers ‘her family won’t help her’. I feel like he doesn’t understand the line. He has a big debt and we shouldn’t be getting into more bills. I feel like he needs to make understand his daughters that he doesn’t have any obligation with their mom. My husband’s ex-wife cheated him in the past and they are divorced for almost 10 years. I believe he loves me deeply but I feel that he doesn’t know how to handle the boundaries and he puts constantly his daughters in the middle. I love my step-daughters but they should be more responsible. Just in case we don’t have kids together. Please, give me your inputs and I would like to know what you think about my situation. Thank you.

My husband has 2 daughters: one 24 years old and the other one 17. The old one works and lives with her boyfriend. The younger lives with us and dropped School and it is not working. My husband feels constantly worried for his daughters due to his ex-wife is very irresponsible. She is a prescription drug addicted and collects disability. She always has financial problems and manipulates their daughters to get money from my husband. For example she gets problems with bills, obligates her older daughter to give her money and then the older daughter comes complaining to my husband. So, finally my husband ends paying his ex-wife bills. On Christmas he gave big extra money to his girls to buy gifts for their mom and friends. My step-daughters are old enough to buy the gifts with their own money. I understand buying Christmas gifts for his daughters but giving them money to buy gifts for others. It was not making much sense to me. My husband looks worried to lose their daughters if he doesn’t help their mother. Lately he asked his ex-wife to go to a rehab and he will help her with a place where to live. I feel like he feels guilty and obligated with her. I mentioned him that his ex-wife has a big family that she sees every weekend and has sisters. Her family should help her, not him. He answers ‘her family won’t help her’. I feel like he doesn’t understand the line. He has a big debt and we shouldn’t be getting into more bills. I feel like he needs to make understand his daughters that he doesn’t have any obligation with their mom. My husband’s ex-wife cheated him in the past and they are divorced for almost 10 years. I believe he loves me deeply but I feel that he doesn’t know how to handle the boundaries and he puts constantly his daughters in the middle. I love my step-daughters but they should be more responsible. Just in case we don’t have kids together. Please, give me your inputs and I would like to know what you think about my situation. Thank you.

First off: This book is written in first person, by Tim, a moody metal head. It is written very realisticaly, no romanticism. It is also based off of the song “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against.
He feels like his life is going nowhere. He thinks he will be living with his drug addict mom and step dad and promiscuous half sister, in a 12×12 section of the basement working at the music shop for minimum wage.

He is in love with this girl, Lanelle. She’s bright and optimistic. She calls him her “good luck charm” because he saved her life a while back. They all hang out in the same group, but one days she invites him over her house.

The whole thing goes on, and Lanelle has a boyfriend. He’s sort of a jerk. Sebby guilted her into having sex with him, and she regrets it. She wants to break up with him, but swears he will kill her and Tim if she does. She winds up cheating on him. Sebby finds out and beats Tim very badly.

Tim stays away from Lanelle for a while, but they eventually start hanging out again. Just talking. They had a lot more in common than they thought. Lanelle eventually gets the courage to break up with Sebby. That night, she’s in the car with Tim. Sebby “accidentally” hits their car with his. He’s fine, Tim is fine, but Lanelle falls into a concussion. She get’s better, but finds out she has cancer. On top of that, she is pregnant, from Sebby.

In the end, she dies. Her last words at “I love you” to Tim. It was Valentines Day, They don’t know why she dies. The cancer was curable, the baby was still alive, surprisingly. But, they’re dead.

Tim tries to kill himself. He tries to jump in front of the train, but his best friend stops him. He makes him realize that Lanelle brought a lot of hope and beauty into his life. He realizes that Lanelle would want him to continue living, and better himself. It ends pretty openly. Maybe he changes, maybe he doesn’t.

What do you think? Should I change anything?
I’ve never read a walk to remember.
But I probably didn’t explain the book well enough. It’s really not as cliche as you guys are making it out to seem.
It is brutally realistic, and it shows a lot of the bad side of Staten Island. The age group is 18-20.
I should have added a lot more detail to that I suppose :/

i am going to leave for france before my ex will give birth.i am not flying back for it and since she is a drug addict she is probably a whore too.

would my mom or sisters be able to take a paternity test in order to see if the kid is even mine?

I’m 24 years old and am completely fucking screwed. I’m basically on the verge of homlessness and losing my kids.

I live with my psycho drug addict mom who takes all my money from me. If I don’t give her the money she won’t give me a ride to work…. so I am busting my ass for nothing.

There’s no light at the end of this shitty tunnel. I don’t see things getting better…but worse.

I have no place to live, no car, no money…..no family other than Mom. Friends are gone.

I don’t know what to do anymore….losing hope. I’m just wondering how people get out of bad situations? What would you do to get out of a situation like mine?

BTW… I’m not a drug abuser, I’m educated, work experienced….had a good run, but my luck ran out. Just wanted to say that.

with her house if it meant using all the money you have in the world and there be no guarntee that you will have a place to stay the next month or she might put you out and your drug addict brother might be stealing everything of yours including food and the mother our mother never says anything to him. so would you give her every dime you had not know if she will not f*uck her money the next month and have her house in forclosure again, then you still will not have a place to stay? or should i keep it and try to pay for my own cheap apartment?
my mother is around 73 and my brother is around 43 and has been on drugs for a long time and this is not her first time f*ucking up money for the house. my other brother who was paying the bills quit his job and now she is left with no one to help pay the other 400 needed. but like i said there is no gauranntee that me and my 2 kids will have a place to stay or be safe with the brother a drug addict and all

After my dad died two years ago my mom let’s me visit her sometimes. I’m fourteen. And I way rather live with my step mom. But my mom is to selfish to let me. At my stepmoms there’s a better house better community. Plus that’s where my two very close step sisters are and my half little sister and half little brother which i love them all withh my heart and would risk everything for them and my step mom. And I have family that lives close and my two older sisters real dad and step mom live close also. And i love them dearly also. But my mother still won’t let me live with them. I have to live in alabam with Charlie my step dad who I don’t like atttt all! Which my school is filled with drug addicts, drug dealers, and there’s a fight everyday! And I don’t live in the ghetto or anything and it’s still like that. I just need a way to talk my mom into let me living with my step mom again. Any advice?

He is 38 … he has not worked for years, and when he did have a job, it was never really consistent. He lives with him mother.

He is an alcoholic, and he had three DUIs. He has never sought help for his alcoholism. He also uses street drugs (marijuana and crack cocaine). He talks about suicide fairly frequently and has anxiety attacks.

He has had a number of short term relationships with women. They never last longer than six months or so. When anymore tries to get “too close” to him, he gets defensive, sarcastic, and ends up pushing them away.

If you had to diagnosis him, what do you think is wrong with him?

while just down the street, there were homeless and addicted people, and single mothers struggling to make ends meet, and kids who go to be hungry at night or can’t go to the doctor?
I like “What in the name of Me is going on here?”

I would, and I have… there’s been many times when my friends with babies have gotten drunk the night before and can’t breastfeed, or they just don’t feel like doing it… and I’ll pop that bad boy in the babies mouth and feed away.

would you do this?

What would be the proper response, to a random drunk shirtless individual, that is screaming obscenities/insults proclaiming my mother is a transgendered whore?

My husband has 2 daughters: one 24 years old and the other one 17. The old one works and lives with her boyfriend. The younger lives with us and dropped School and it is not working. My husband feels constantly worried for his daughters due to his ex-wife is very irresponsible. She is a prescription drug addicted and collects disability. She always has financial problems and manipulates their daughters to get money from my husband. For example she gets problems with bills, obligates her older daughter to give her money and then the older daughter comes complaining to my husband. So, finally my husband ends paying his ex-wife bills. On Christmas he gave big extra money to his girls to buy gifts for their mom and friends. My step-daughters are old enough to buy the gifts with their own money. I understand buying Christmas gifts for his daughters but giving them money to buy gifts for others. It was not making much sense to me. My husband looks worried to lose their daughters if he doesn’t help their mother. Lately he asked his ex-wife to go to a rehab and he will help her with a place where to live. I feel like he feels guilty and obligated with her. I mentioned him that his ex-wife has a big family that she sees every weekend and has sisters. Her family should help her, not him. He answers ‘her family won’t help her’. I feel like he doesn’t understand the line. He has a big debt and we shouldn’t be getting into more bills. I feel like he needs to make understand his daughters that he doesn’t have any obligation with their mom. My husband’s ex-wife cheated him in the past and they are divorced for almost 10 years. I believe he loves me deeply but I feel that he doesn’t know how to handle the boundaries and he puts constantly his daughters in the middle. I love my step-daughters but they should be more responsible. Just in case we don’t have kids together. Please, give me your inputs and I would like to know what you think about my situation. Thank you.

So I’ve been having a problem with my husband driving home when he’s had too much to drink. He probably goes to the bar 2 or 3 times a week..which is fine with me because he goes for pool league and I gives me a quiet house to study in.
Last thrusday he came home and it was obvious that he should’ve have driven. I was so mad and so disappointed in him. This is not the first time, or the second or third time that this has happend…I wish I had some sort of consequence for his actions…the only thing I can do is tell him that he’ll be in jail, that he’s going to hurt someone, that he’s going to have huge fines for when he gets caught again (he got a DUI about 2 years ago). I always tell him that I’ll give him a ride, one of his friends even offered him a ride last thrusday and he turned it down! This seems to happen every couple months..and he always says that he’s going to try harder to be good..but then it happens again.
He will tell me “I know I’m in the wrong.” And by him saying that he thinks that makes it ok just because he KNOWS it was wrong.
I don’t know how to get it through his brain!!

Help!

My mom has cirrhosis and diabetes related to alcoholism. She has now been sober for five years, but did not attend AA, or receive any special counseling.

My problem is that my mom lies to me and my brother about her medical problems. She lives alone and needs monitoring for low blood sugar (from the diabetes) and confusion and encephalopathy (from the cirrhosis). Despite that she is in some very real danger, and that we have had numerous discussions/ fights, she is once again hiding very serious symptoms.

Is there a specific mental health condition in which patients repeatedly lie about ONE SPECIFIC thing, despite how it negatively affects their lives?

In this case, my mother could suffer coma and even death. Also, I have cut her out of my life in the past, and threatened to do so again; she is very attached to me and does not want this.

So why does she keep lying?

In a novel I have nearly finished, there is a happy family: man and wife, a 6 year old girl and 12 year old boy. Now, the man is late from collecting the little girl from school one afternoon, and she has to join the after-school club. While she is waiting on her dad, there is a freak accident and she is killed. Of course, it wasn’t her father’s fault, but it wouldn’t have happened if he had collected her on time.

My question is this:
1) If you were the mother, what would you do – both in the short term and in the long term.
2) If you were the father, what would you do – both in the short term and in the long term.
3) My current working scenario is this: the woman can’t help but blame the man for the girl’s death – even though she knows all the circumstances. She divorces the man shortly after the little girl’s funeral. She takes the 12 year old boy. She finds it too hard to have the man in her life again, and so tells him to stay away. To prevent the boy from seeking his father she tells the boy that his father wants a fresh start and finds it too painful to see her and the boy again. Of course, this is a lie and actually represents her feelings towards the man. The man drifts into alcoholism, and actually attempts suicide many years later.
Is this sequence of events believable – or what modifications to it would you suggest in order to be more realistic? I ask this as a single guy who has no children.

Many thanks for your help.
Thankyou K – food for thought there. How about the divorce goes ahead with the normal visitation rights, but over time alcoholism creeps in -maybe the husband beats the boy during one visitation – maybe the boy acts up and blames his dad – and the visitations stop? i.e. the boy effectively ‘divorces’ his dad? You see – it is important to the story that the dad becomes permanently seperated from the boy and mother, and that is what the boy and mother want.
Thanks Sian,
The main character in the story is the man – it is from his perspective. Both he, the woman and the boy are all good people but there lives have exploded after the death of the little girl.
Thanks Canoneida (sorry misses some of the name),
The fact is, as far the story is concerned, that the little girl dies, and the man becomes separated from his wife and son, all three good people. I need to contrive a believable series of events that leads to this separation and the man’s alcoholism. It could be that the man leaves through guilt? Perhaps he or she has an affair? I’m just don’t know what is the most believable path from the death pf the girl to the man being on his own as an alcoholic.
p.s. K,
The man only attempts suicide – he is saved and he turns his life around for the better after this.
The novel is not in chronological order – it actually starts with the funeral of the man (died of old age many years after the suicide attempt) – his son is there but indifferent to his father’s death as grew up believing his father to be a useless drunk, and poisoned by his own mother’s hatred of his father.
p.s. Canoneida – if I do write the relationship as close, I could have the man embark in an affair, which may make the betrayal felt by the woman all the more intense and turn her completely against her husband?

would you ask her to pump her breast for milk for your cereal?

then why drink cows milk? its for the baby calf, not for the humans, why do so many humans still drink cows milk?

My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.
My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.

I agree that drinking while pregnant is stupid and should never be done. And no, miraculously I don’t have FAS.

My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.
My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.

I agree that drinking while pregnant is stupid and should never be done. And no, miraculously I don’t have FAS.

My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.
My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. So I was just wondering if, because of her drinking, I would have a high tolerance for alcohol. I don’t drink, it’s just a random thing I was wondering about.

I agree that drinking while pregnant is stupid and should never be done. And no, miraculously I don’t have FAS.

I have known plenty of people raised in “Traditional” households with both the mom and dad that were drug addicts and convicts and plenty of people raised by single parents and gay parents or other “Un Traditional” households that turned out to be very bright and successful!
Thank you answers4u! Also dont forget. Im gay and my parents were straight! My dad went to a catholic school where the teachers were nuns. And he most certainly didnt grow up to become a nun!!