Okay, here goes my story. From what I’ve been told my dad has always been a heavy drinker, he’d drink more than anyone else when he was out with friends, and once actually went back to the hotel room where him and his friends were staying to drink a bottle of vodka. Eventually, in the year 2004/5, when I was 10 years old and my sister was 8, his alcohol addiction forced him and my mum to divorce; my mother really did not want to do this but he would constantly come home at midnight completely drunk. My mother could no longer afford to keep up the mortgage in the house so we had to sell it, we found various empty bottles littering nooks and crannies of the house. Shortly after my mother left my father and we’d moved to a much, much smaller house, he started renting a flat. My dad was now drinking heavier than he did when he was with my mum.
A few months later, my Dad got a lift to work from my nan because he “felt too ill to drive”, and when he’d got in to work (he works at the Docks) he was “randomly” alcohol/drug tested, of course a large amount of alcohol was found in his system and he was suspended from work; and 2 weeks later had lost his job.
Losing his job forced him to move in with my Nan, he caused her a great deal of stress, my nan is 84 years old. This was around February 2007, I was 12 at the time.
My Father no longer had the commitments of a job, he could drink whenever he wanted; because now he was on incapacity benefits for being depressed (surely not helped by the alcohol) he could also afford it. From 2007 until three weeks ago, he followed one cycle, every single day. From what my Nan has told me, he’d wake up at 9am and really want to get out of the house, he’d take some money with him and go to the local Tesco, buy a 2 litre bottle of cider and drink it in the park, he would rarely drink infront of my Nan, his alcohol addiction had turned into alcohol dependence, I was fully aware he was an alcoholic, but he would never admit it.
Three weeks ago, my dad woke up was very confused, he didn’t know where he was and his skin had turned a yellow colour. He tried to walk but fell over, my Nan called an ambulance. My father was taken to Broomfield Hospital, and put in the Liver Ward. He had liver disease.
I visited my Dad a few days later and he was still very confused, he kept saying to me that he stayed at a friends house in a city nearby, and felt ill so his friend took him here.
I have quite a skinny build, and my father was always a stocky man, who had fairly big arms. The first time I saw him in the hospital, I did not recognise him. He was skinnier than me.
Me and my mother were told by the consultant that he will get out okay, they know it’s alcoholic liver disease and have had this story explained to them.
About a week later, I decided to have a talk with my Dad about alcoholism, I started off by asking him why he was in hospital, after about two minutes he replied with “Well, I’ve been quite stressed recently, and my liver”. I explained to my father that he was in hospital completely from alcohol, and his alcohol addiction had got him here. He agreed, although I do not think he thinks that is the cause. I explained to him that he can never drink again or he will kill himself, he replied “Well.. maybe have a couple on new years”.
I do not believe my Dad will stay off the alcohol, and his life will be ended by it. Although I am going to be there to help him eliminate alcohol from his life, alongside my uncle. My uncle is paying for him to be taken into rehab, but I am uncertain whether he will stay off the alcohol when he comes out. I have explained to him that me and my sister will spend more time with him if he stays off the alcohol, and he seems happy about that, but I am unsure if he will choose us over the alcohol.
How do I stop or help my father stop drinking completely, and get him back to his old personality? He used to play the Drums, love music and the gym, but when he lost his job, he lost all motivation for that and alcohol became the biggest thing going in life for him.
Sorry for the long read, and I appreciate any help.
Tom, 15.
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I wrote out that question around 3 weeks ago, when my Dad had been hospitalized. I was told he would be out within two weeks and be fine, and that he should take this as a warning. I have just returned from my father, John William Calvert’s funeral, and I am devasted. I was given such a false hope by the Consultants, and I really did think my Father would be okay, but he was unfairly taken from us. I now feel at the lowest of lows, I do not want to attend a support class for it, but I feel so depressed, what can I do that will help me through this? I lost my Granddad a few years back, but this is so much worse – I can’t go on feeling this low, please help me.
Tom
