We will help you get your mom off drugs!

Hi there.
My mother constantly lies to me. She makes up stories that never happened like a child trying to impress new friends would do. The stories are extreme and worrisome, like she once said somebody tried to rape her! She brags to people constantly, but it’s always exaggerated to an extreme degree or completely false.
When she asked me to help her with some of her online accounts, I discovered that she e-mails men behind my father’s back. She makes up lies about our family and herself. She also offers to buy things for these people!
Sometimes the lies are minimal. Like, her and my father help pay for my college and she will say that “UGH! I would love to go to Florida (though she’s never mentioned wanting to go, I feel like some things she just says to say), but I have to pay for my daughter’s tuition/apartment/etc!” This isn’t true. I have a job and pay for my own expenses. But it’s a small lie. She will also exaggerate her illnesses and tell people when I have small infections.
But sometimes the lies are huge. (ie; the rape one, lies she has said about my dad, telling people my brother is addicted to drugs.)
They aren’t always negative lies though. Sometimes it will be about positive things. “My daughter is going to be a lawyer!” “My husband makes 500,000 dollars a year!”

I think it’s just so odd. And I can’t take it anymore! I just try not to snap at her every moment I’m with her. She constantly calls me to load me with more lies. I love her, but I don’t like her.

Does anyone have any ideas about her behavior? Like why does she feel the need to lie all the time?! and any tips for handling this? Please, it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life and I’ve since systematically been trying to get away from her, but she keeps haunting me with it!

This is going to be real hard to explain to everyone without it being forever long. So I apologize now for the length of this, but I have to give all the facts for you guys to understand how we have gotten to this point. My husband deals with a lot of bottled up depression. It goes all the way back to before I ever even met him. Mainly about his feelings about his brothers suicide and his relationship with his mother and the fact that he does not get to see his son as often as he would like. There is many things that bothers him that I never can get him to talk about. He just does not like to get into those conversations. But he started handling his issues by popping pills a long time back. Those pills ended up making him do many dumb things that landed him in jail and on parole for many years now. When we first met he had been out of jail for a while. I met him where we both worked at the time. He was doing real good for himself. He had got back on track and was an all around great guy. We was together for a while and was great together until he got down and out over some stuff that was going on in his life. Never filling me in on anything, of course. So he tried to deal with things the best way he thinks of and goes back to doing pills. Well, he and I took a break from each other. Well, once he come to the conclusion that he wanted to come off the pills and work on us again we gave it another shot. Now during that break he was messing up his parole. He stopped going to see his PO and quit his job, Leaving a warrant hanging over his head. We both knew that when they caught up with him he would go back to jail. We was back together and he had got back on track and was doing real good for himself. We was doing good. Then one day he was in a car accident and winded up in jail over the warrant for parole violation. I knew that the day would come and even though he was doing good he would have to pay for the actions he had done previously. So I stayed by him. I wrote him every day, literally for the four months he had to serve. I kept minutes on the phone so he could call regularly from jail. I sent him commisary money every week. Made every visit I was allowed. I was completly down for him during that time because I knew he could and had changed. So he gets out of jail, shortly after we got married. Things started off good. But him and his mom had a falling out and the next thing you know he starts acting funny. Well, come to find out he had started popping pills again. He always argues that it shouldn’t matter to me if he pops a few pills if he isn’t doing it around me or messing around on me or it isn’t affecting me. But how do I make him understand that it does affect me? He is a completly different person when he is popping pills. He seems almost bi-polar. He never has time for me. With us working different shifts, and him using all his free time to run off with one of his friends to try and get high it leaves no time for us. We have talked about this, we have argued about this, I have even tried just letting it run its cours and keeping my mouth shut. But nothing seems to make him see how it affects us. I don’t know how to help us any more. I have tried to explain to him that I am tired of the only time I get with him is when there is no one to get high with, or when he is tired from all the partying he has done the past few days and he just wants to sleep, or when he stays at home cause he is sick or something. I want him to roll over and think about what we could do together during the day instead of just rolling over when he wakes up wanting to start dialing numbers to find someone to run off with for the day to get high. How do you help an addict? I’ve never been one so I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t want to leave my husband. I want to help him. He is the greatest person you could ever meet when he isn’t on pills. I love that man, but the man he is when he is on pills is not my husband. I want to be there for the man I know he really is, but I don’t know how to reach that person any more. What can you really do in this situation?

What happened to make you think “This is it. I’m gone.” ?
Did you have a plan?
What was it like at first?
Did you have children at the time?
I ask because I’m at a heartbreaking time in my relationship of 6 years (we lived together for 2 years before getting married 4 years ago). My husband can be a wonderful man but is spiraling into alcoholism. He’s up to 1/2 a bottle of vodka or more a day. The fighting is getting worse and nastier. He sometimes throws and kicks objects, he began getting in my face. It progressed to him shoving me and grabbing my arm if I tried to walk away, and peaked when he jabbed me in the chest with his fingers hard enough to knock me onto the bed. My chest was sore for days afterward, and later when things calmed down, I very calmly told him I would go to his commander if he ever touched me again (he hasn’t done any physical stuff). He doesn’t want us to go to counseling (he gets upset if I go alone as well). We have 2 very young children, ages 3 years old and 7 months old. I am a stay at home mother, so leaving terrifies me because I have only a high school education, but I’m not sure we can continue to live this way.
How did you know when to say NO MORE, and leave? OR did you stay and did things get better?

My husband has been struggling with alcoholism since January. He has also been crushing up psych meds and snorting them, as well as stealing pills from his dad’d medicine cabinet. I have had to stay up all night with him in the hospital because of overdose, and I am 6 months pregnant. He also had a grand mal seizure on Mother’s Day after taking over 20 pills in an hour, and the hospital deemed it a suicide attempt. He has been arrested for public drunkeness, and has panhandled for alcohol. I left him in May to stay with my dad, and he has (he says) 30 days sober. But he has been mean to me on the phone, and told me yesterday that he fired his AA sponsor last week and is not sure if he is going to get another one. He has also said that he is thinking about calling his old drinking buddies because he has no friends, and he says that he is lonely and has thought about spending time with an old girlfriend. I am at the end of my rope. I am not sure if I can stay married to him.

I was just wonderin Im in my first trimester and a friend told me not to really drink to much citrus b/c when pregnant I guess your not suppose to so is there any foods or drinks that you may have had a bad experience with during pregnancy that you can let me know about or of? Thank you and serious answer and not like acohol cause I know that!

We met in Jan 08 got serious in Mar 08. He seemed so composed until out of nowhere he fell off the wagon. That weekend he broke up with me for a stupid reason, his mom got sick(cancer), and he went on an alcohol and cocaine binge. I am so scared- I never expected him to relapse just like that.He said he went to a hotel, and in 24hrs had 2 bottles of vodka, 18 beers, $300 worth of cocaine, $300 worth of crack. He’s acting so strange since then I am almost scared to be around him. Please help. I dont what to do. I am respecting his wishes of not discussing this with my friends. I’m lost. I am not in AA by the way, and dont know what hes going through. Im scared he will do this next time we argue. In fact, I dont even want to have aboyfriend like that anymore. How do I break up with this person?
Hels also possesive, gets mad if I dont answer his calls, or dont want to stay at his house all night.
I live by myself.

We met in Jan 08 got serious in Mar 08. He seemed so composed until out of nowhere he fell off the wagon. That weekend he broke up with me for a stupid reason, his mom got sick(cancer), and he went on an alcohol and cocaine binge. I am so scared- I never expected him to relapse just like that.He said he went to a hotel, and in 24hrs had 2 bottles of vodka, 18 beers, $300 worth of cocaine, $300 worth of crack. He’s acting so strange since then I am almost scared to be around him. Please help. I dont what to do. I am respecting his wishes of not discussing this with my friends. I’m lost. I am not in AA by the way, and dont know what hes going through. Im scared he will do this next time we argue. In fact, I dont even want to have aboyfriend like that anymore. How do I break up with this person?
Hels also possesive, gets mad if I dont answer his calls, or dont want to stay at his house all night.
I live by myself.

ok he s gone to AA twice and anger managment he s cheat’n on my mom wit his ex wife and my mom is divorcing him but now that he s in rehab again she s taking him back wat do i do

Please I need rational answers, cause I’m only 15 and this time my mom might be seriouse about sending me to a rehab over the summer. Any suggestions? Or any good excuses I can use?

About 20 minutes ago for me.

Then she read me and my brother a poem she wrote for her graduation ceremony tomorrow (shes a nurse now!)

She’s a very talented poet. Even when she’s slobbering drunk.

The History: She is addicted to hard drugs, meth actually. She lived with us once before. When she did her druggie friends robbed us of our rent money (and some irreplaceable possessions) and the end result was we were evicted from our apartment. She hasn’t had a job in years and has consistently involved her self with “irreputable characters”.

The Situation: She’s been in jail for the last 5 months on drug charges. They released her yesterday and she’ll be on probation for the next 6 years. She has no home, no money, no where ( that I know of ) to go. My husband is her oldest son, therefore he feels obligated to take care of her. She’s 40, he’s 23. I have said that if he feels the need to take her in again, I can’t stop him, that’s his mother. As far as her drug use she has been clean since she’s been in jail, and apparently found Jesus too. I don’t trust that she’s changed quite yet, but I do believe in 2nd chances (although this is really her 13th chance).

The Conflict: I have said that I will be staying with friends until she finds another living situation. Is that fair to my husband? Is this standing up for myself, or am I making the situation worse? I NEED HELP!!!

Thanks all for your responses and advice.

I’m 5’5 and weigh 115lbs and my mom bought me Kahlua mudslide drinks.

I’ve never drank before what will this do for me (tipsy/drunk wise) and how much will i have to drink?

if she dosen’t know she is pregnant and she drinks one time what happens

Please hear me out….. I have been having abdominal pain since high school and for the last 5 months it has been very severe. I have seen several doctors. I have had x-rays, bowel series, cat scans, pap smears, blood tests, pregnancy tests, and gall bladder surgery. I am still experiencing pain. I am not pregnant let alone I CANT get pregnant I have been tiring for a year, my bowel series was normal, my blood was normal except for slight elevated enzymes or the liver that could be from binge drinking with partying, my cat scan (of the hole mid section) was normal except ovarian cysts unfortunately I havnt seen an OB/GYN because my work took my insurance. Though I have had annual pap smears since I was 18 all normal no “cyctes” My mom had enemetreosis, I havnt been diagnosed with it.
My doctors have no been able to find the source of my pain, nor will they give me anything to control my pain because they dont know the cause. Whayt do I do???
in response to the second answer, I was on birthconrtrol for 3 years with no help I know that it helps some but it didnt me, I have never had irregular periods, I got off the birthcontrol cause I am married now and trying to start a family. to no avail of cource.
went to a specialist, had and endoscopy and colonoscopy all negative. and IBS meds didnt work eiether.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Things have taken a terrible, unexpected turn for the worse. Her mother just recently lost her job, house, 3 children, husband, her children’s college discounts (she worked for the state) and overall quality of life due to drug addiction. I am 22 and she is 19 years old. We just recently moved into our first apartment and things were really starting to come together…I wanted to get her out of that environment. We both work and go to school, my high school sweetheart followed me to college. We had a temporary split before we moved in together that lasted two months because I got cold feet, she started talking to someone new because I wasn’t being a responsible adult and handling things the way I should. She didn’t tell me about it, and my heart was broken. This relationship lasted a week or two. Well in the midst of all of this I started trying to move on…she didn’t like this and we had a small (but all the same bad) physical altercation in our apartment where I exaggerated a bad situation and made it worse by calling the police. We remained friends for a while, got the court issues settled, continued to live together, and moved. However these problems caused by the court situation, her mother, and hanging out with the wrong crowd has caused new problems…She has called and had me arrested for domestic assault and violating my COR twice…I have been arrested three times in one month for things I didn’t even do. Like anyone with common sense, I moved out of the apartment and left her to her own devices. I seriously have no clue why she is reacting to things like this: She works at McDonald’s with a bunch of low life’s, and her new friends do not match what she is trying to achieve in life. Mimi and Sam have ruined her. They are known for drugs and alcohol…She would get angry when she couldn’t go over there, she would lie about her whereabouts, and once came home with a hickey that she tried to convince me was a bite mark. They are Latinos, I am half Latino, and I can tell anyone that isn’t a “standard” greeting. These people are not in school, they have made carriers out of McDonald’s and Golden Corral, and they are on drugs…This isn’t the path Julianne intends to take. Mimi is a lesbian so I don’t know if Julianne has taken to her, the drugs, or both. My girlfriend is 5’6 100 pounds. Mimi is 5’7 or 8, severely overweight, harsh on the eyes, and has a bright future in fry making. I am 5’3 110 pounds, senior in college, going to law school next spring, and has a bright future. She has let these friends hang up in my face when I call and all sorts of negative things that I shouldn’t have tolerated…My girlfriend would always apologize and I would accept it. In TN, it is the “first one to the phone” rule, even though I didn’t do anything to her (and the police report states no signs or evidence of physical abuse) I am still being arrested for domestic assault. People can call and say someone did anything and even if alleged defendant has 101 witnesses stating it didn’t happen they will still be cuffed and trialed. Friends tell me that she is sorry and wants to try and work on things, but I don’t know if someone can forgive and move on after something like this. This situation has cost me my job, home, almost my classes, emotional, and financial stability. We are not allowed to talk or see anyone due to a court order, but I feel like if she really missed me she would find a way to show me this. Three and a half years by no means is a contract. We have just been through a lot…I don’t want to be stupid and hang on to something I shouldn’t, and at the same time I think if she can’t make any efforts then it isn’t in my place to amend this particular situation. Plus, to make things worse, her drug addict mom moved into our apartment while my girlfriend takes care of all the bills…We haven’t spoke to each other in over a month and our next court date is in over another month. We have a trip to Spain together (no refunds) May 13 until June 13th (my birthday) We have made plans to marry after that and everything. I want her to still be that special one, but it may really just be time to let go…

I babysit for a 3 year old full time and his 5 year old brother part time after school. Their dad is pretty much a single dad, as the kid’s mom is going to jail soon and is an alcoholic. When I first offered to be his babysitter, he said he was going to pay me, and he occasionally does, but not much. On average, I have the 3 year old 11 hours a day and the 5 year old 2 hours a day and then both of them for about 11 hours on saturdays. It’s been 3 weeks since I started and he’s only given me about $200. He keeps saying that he owes me money for last week or that he hasn’t made it to the bank yet, but then I don’t get paid. He’s a really nice guy and I feel sorry for him for all the crap he’s going thru with the kid’s mom and trying to raise them (he’s a really good dad!) and I wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t need the money. I feel bad asking for money when I know he’s having tough times both emotionally and financially. Any advice? Thanks!

I babysit for a 3 year old full time and his 5 year old brother part time after school. Their dad is pretty much a single dad, as the kid’s mom is going to jail soon and is an alcoholic. When I first offered to be his babysitter, he said he was going to pay me, and he occasionally does, but not much. On average, I have the 3 year old 11 hours a day and the 5 year old 2 hours a day and then both of them for about 11 hours on saturdays. It’s been 3 weeks since I started and he’s only given me about $200. He keeps saying that he owes me money for last week or that he hasn’t made it to the bank yet, but then I don’t get paid. He’s a really nice guy and I feel sorry for him for all the crap he’s going thru with the kid’s mom and trying to raise them (he’s a really good dad!) and I wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t need the money. I feel bad asking for money when I know he’s having tough times both emotionally and financially. Any advice? Thanks!

This weekend, I FINALLY got my fiance to help around the house. He helped in the kitchen, i was wayyyyy backed up on dishes because i ran out of dishwasher soap, and didnt have a way to go get any because he has my car. He has a car (busted rim), and he got a new rim, but has yet to put a tire on it, so im stuck without a car most of the time. So anyway, i was catching up on dishes, and he cleaned the counters, swept, mopped, everything (very unlikely for him to do anything). I was suprised. Thats all he did was the kitchen. but i wasnt going to bitch because, like i said, i was suprised he even did that. Would have been nice to pitch in on all the chores in the house so i could take some of my saturday and relax. but whatever. That night, he expected oral. I hate doing oral. He said he deserved it because he was good that day. Like I said in my old post, he is addicted to oral and WoW – lol. We dont really have sex anymore. He just wants that, and pitches fits when he doesnt get it. did i mention – I HATE GIVING IT! But do sometimes when hes acting right, and i feel like hes earned it. Last time he got it was 2 weeks ago.

Ive been looking to go out with friends, maybe to a club or go shopping. I treasure time away from my kids – because i never get it. I have no me time at all. Inface, i really dont have any girlfriends anymore because i kept having to blow them off because he got pissed every tie i wanted to go off with them. So yeah – i dont really blame them for not sticking around. I think I deserve to have some time alone, and time to try and rekendle some friendships. I am a grown woman, and feels as if i shouldnt have to ask. Every time i say i want to go to Macon (hours drive) to spend time with my sister (clubbing, shopping, whatever) he says I should take the kids with me, or find someone to watch them. I spend all day with them. ALL DAY .. 24 hrs a day. 7 days a week with them. I love my kids, but lately, i see all these other moms going out and having time to themselves, and they are pretty happy. I am not happy, I have no social life, I dont let on that im that unhappy because, it will just screw everyone elses day up. When Matts not home, alls i do is cry because, back when i had a social life, i was sooo happy, ive been with matt for 4 years, havnt really went anywhere without him and the kids for about 4 years. Havnt even hung out with a friend in ove 2 years. Im not happy. When i bring it up, he saids “Im a mother now, i should put those things behind me”. Yeah, im a mother – but im also a 25 yr old woman. I thought my twenties were supposed to be a blast. This whole situation has got me so depressed. The more I spend like this, the more i cry, and the hotter my temper gets. Im getting to where im always yelling at the kids, and im having more and more emotional breakdowns. When i used to go out and had away time (i had 1 kid then, and my mom let me go out with friends and be young if i wanted, as long as I didnt go overboard with it – about once a month was fine with her) i wasnt with Matt, i was a single mother and I was VERY laid back, i was an awesome mother.

I mean, does all this have a connection, or am i just being a baby?? Should I feel this way, is it normal?

I dont know what else to say to explain this. I mean, i really dont. I just really wonder.

I sometimes dream about leaving Matt, so i could have every other weekend to do what i wanna do. Is that totally selfish. Im just not happy, and idk what to do about it. Ive tried to explain .. but he doesnt listen, he just tells me i should grow up, i dont need all that stuff and im wrong for feeling like that.

I am a 22 year old female, a little on the, “over-the average side,” I don’t exercise and I don’t have any desire to loose weight. I am not bulimic and I don’t binge eat, I am a mom, and a full-time college student. I eat whenever i can, when i have time, which is three meals a day. Lately, I can eat my three regular meals, but even right after I’m done eating, I feel hungry!!!! I woke up at 3am this morning because I was hungry!!! I ate 2 huge helping of supper last night, because I was still hungry!!! I don’t know if I’m pregnant, I am not diabetic, and i crave large amounts of nacho cheese…. Please help, it’s too soon to find out if I’m pregnant, and diabetes runs in my family. What could be the problem?