I mean like things that happened to me 5ish years ago are now popping up and I’m feeling depressed and confused about them.
My step father was an alcoholic and a gambling addict and when my mother finally kicked him out of the house, he left our family very vunrable.
I wasn’t really upset by this at the time, but now I am. I can’t believe he hurt us like this.
Why am I not feeling the sadness at the time? But years later?
So I work with a ton of girls at my business. This isn’t the first time I have worked with girls that come from broken homes. A few of them have told me unsolicited and completely not on topic things like how their fathers are alcoholics and drug addicts or how they cheated on their mothers. Or about their sex lives.
I am not a very touchy freely or very good with this stuff. They seem to like to vent and I don’t know what should I give them advice or just let them vent. Does this mean that they trust me or something?
OK, here goes. I plan on leaving the father of my two year old baby girl. He’s already stated that he’ll get custody, though I’m not sure why he says that… Let me give you some details. I live in New York State. He works during the day, I stay home with my little girl all day. At night, three nights a week, I work from five to ten thirty. He has her till eight those nights, ans at eight o’clock, she goes to bed. He had my nine year old daughter watch her a lot on the nights I work, and I would be working more, except that he really won’t let me, though after I move, I’ll be able to get more hours. I have custody of my oldest child, not through the courts, but her dad has no problem with her being with me at all, he sees her every weekend, and that’s working out just fine. I haven’t got a drinking problem, drug problem or alcoholism. I am going to school to be a teacher, and I have never abused or been mean to my children. Actually, I think I’m a really good mom. And so do my kids, my oldest and I are extremely close, and my baby and I are as well. I love them so damn much, and it’s stressing myself and my oldest out to be here, he’s possessive, controlling and mean spirited. He yells a lot, and I can’t do a thing, can’t leave the house, can’t do anything without being interrogated. I’m almost developing a nervous condition, and it’s time to go… My question is, I’m terrified when I go to court, he’ll make something up about me, in order to get my kids. My ex’s mother and sister are going in to be witnessed for me, but I’m not sure what is going to happen, and I can’t allow her to be raised by a short tempered man. I’m so scared I could lose her, and I need some advice or experiences from you guys… Please please take the time to answer me today… I’m sick over this, and paralyzed by fear of losing my baby. Please help. I want my life happy, with BOTH of my children.
John, Happy Hunter and KK. Thank you SO much. I need some reassurance through this time.. Unfortunately, Happy Hunter, I can’t put school off, since I’m already halfway through. In NYS, I know I need to have PHYSICAL witnesses, not just statements, or else I would have had a lot more. I know the law guardians will also talk to my eldest, and she will tell them what’s happening, although if I had it my way, I would leave her out of it altogether… On a more personal note, John and KK thank you for the complimentary answers as well, I needed the self confidence boost. Fighting for your child is like fighting for your life… Thank you so much.
My story: My daughter left our home age 16 till 19yrs old. Then met and married a ptsd marine whom I didnt know nor did she but got pregnant by him. Now they have a son and daughter from marine’s previous metamphetamine drug user ex wife who bore this baby girl and was born ‘addicted’ . My daughter took her and offered to be her mom (the drug addicted baby’s) and I see that she has decided to keep abusing me (My daughter, yes, was a mother abuser and took advantage of the fact that I am 89lbs and in and out from hospitals dealing with severe breahting probs from cystic fibrosis). Now its her and her ptsd marine who refuses to send me inheritance money that went to his acct, sends letters wtih death wishes and really things that belong to a killer’s mind. I contacted the FBI bc of his death wish emails, but I feel a restraining order should be filed against him for my protection. My husband says we should not involve the goverment. (??)Pls read my other questions they have other info.
(If you read my other posted questions you’ll understand fully the precarious situation Im trying to describe and find a way to deal with it)
I contacted the military about my daughter’s deranged husband’s death wishes emails and about the inheritance money he kept which is mine. The military did nothing but actually were convinced by this deranged marine that I am something other than what I am, a whackjob he said to them I am. I am just a mother who saw, from the beginning of my daughter’s announcement to marry this evil guy, the class A deranged ptsd behavior this guy has. I told my hsuband and didnt listen2me. I found him strange, with a facial expression of hatred and desire to strangle me from the first moment i met him briefly. Now the proof is he kept my inheritance and sent death wishes. Said he would have the last word on this. Yet i get told not to involve the courts coz once they are one dont get a moment’s rest nor much fairness. SHOULD I PURSUE TO TAKE HIM TO COURT?
‘Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the house, beer in abundance, and liquor about.
The children pissed off, possibly drugged as well, for there were shitty presents under the tree…what the hell?
“The fuck is this shit?”, the one child did utter, “A holiday sweater? We must murder our mother.”
“Later”, the other decreed, “I talked to Mason Day, talkin’ about some kind of pineapple weed. I know you don’t smoke ,Beau Blanchard my chap, but I’m George Almonte, if I’m not high I swear to god I’ll snap.”
“Good shit”, Beau replied, “Let’s hit it after I grab some supplies.”
So Beau loaded a bag, with his father’s liq and beer, unworried about his anger, for he will be drunk until the next year. They walked out the house, when they heard such a clatter, it was Abel Perez , getting madder and madder.
“FUCK YOU MOM, YOU IMMIGRANT BITCH, I HOPE YOU BURN, YOU INSUFFERABLE WITCH!!” Business as usual, he was always pissed.
So Beau cracked a joke, they laughed and moved on, George skipped merrily singing metal songs.
They walked and walked till they came to their stop, when to their horror they saw a number of cops.
Beau hid the bag, and went up to the officer, “What seems to be the problem?…lobster.”
“Well my young delinquent, we caught this other boy, a-smokin’ and drinkin’.”
To none of their surprise, it was Mason indeed, got impatient waiting and smoked a half ounce of weed.
The cars drove off, the boy’s Christmas was screwed, all except for Beau, who had his own brew.
“Fruck this shipt, what we gonner do noaww?”, said Beau shitfaced who was stumbling around.
“My friends do not wail”, George said, “We’ll break his ass out of jail.”
For some retarded reason the others agreed, they’ll get their friend and his big bag of weed.
They got some tools and a ride as well, they’d get their weed (and Mason) even if they go through hell.
Dropped off at the police station, they needed a plan to get out Mason.
“Wow, we got this far?”, Abel said, “I didn’t even think we’d get a ride in a car.”
So it was hopeless again, our three heroes(?) did think, when old St. Nicholas made a mischievous wink.
He worked his magic, more powerful than Jesus, and furthered this story in order to please us.
“Fear not my children! This magic comes with a full tank of gas!” And out of thin air comes the ghost of Hummer past.
“It’s Mason’s old hummer! From the car accident this month!”, Abel surprised, “Except with a jet engine in the back of the trunk.”
The two hopped in, with Beau falling inside. They prepared themselves for a bad ass holiday ride.
The engine roared with the spirit of St. Nick, damn this story is badass, a book would be sick.
It decimated the station except for two parts, the cell holding Mason and weed filled carts.
All four loaded up, the place they were robbin’, as they flew out the bitch, Mason yelled, “W3 b St3@dY M0bbIN!!”(we be steady mobbin for you whiter readers).
They went to the park, right by 7-11, they were so high it could’ve been heaven.
Munchies and weed mixed with liq and bud light, it was truly a most excellent night.
For all you out there who had a good laugh, you’re going to hell for liking this crap. And for those who think, I’m some twisted jerk, get your bum ass off facebook if you’re offended and hurt. But for everyone else, and even these groups as well, merry Christmas to all, and to all I’ll see you in hell!
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Why isn’t it illegal for alcoholics to have children? Why isn’t it illegal for parents who physically fight and argue into the late night to have a child? Why isn’t emotional and mental abuse against the law?
I have a very good friend who is trying to break free from her parents. She has all signs of an abused child (afraid to reach out for help for fear of abuser’s backlash, completely dependent on others outside of abusive home, ect) and her mother has all the signs of an abusive parent (telling my friend not to tell the school or social services about the alcoholism and fights, etc). I am very scared for her. She has been on the verge of giving everything up lately, and I don’t want her to give up.
Isn’t there anything that can be legally done? Can’t the state force her parents to at least rehab or marriage counseling? They’ve already stopped by and said that they can’t take my friend to a foster home but I don’t think they know about the fights and the alcoholism..
If the state won’t do anything, what can she do? How should she keep crying for help? How should she let the state know about what is going on? They didn’t think the situation was serious enough, but my friend is spiraling into a depression she may not get out of.
As a friend, what can I do to help?
Please, if you are an expert on Colorado law, please email me! I could really use your help.
Why isn’t it illegal for alcoholics to have children? Why isn’t it illegal for parents who physically fight and argue into the late night to have a child? Why isn’t emotional and mental abuse against the law?
I have a very good friend who is trying to break free from her parents. She has all signs of an abused child (afraid to reach out for help for fear of abuser’s backlash, completely dependent on others outside of abusive home, ect) and her mother has all the signs of an abusive parent (telling my friend not to tell the school or social services about the alcoholism and fights, etc). I am very scared for her. She has been on the verge of giving everything up lately, and I don’t want her to give up.
Isn’t there anything that can be legally done? Can’t the state force her parents to at least rehab or marriage counseling? They’ve already stopped by and said that they can’t take my friend to a foster home but I don’t think they know about the fights and the alcoholism..
If the state won’t do anything, what can she do? How should she keep crying for help? How should she let the state know about what is going on? They didn’t think the situation was serious enough, but my friend is spiraling into a depression she may not get out of.
As a friend, what can I do to help?
Please, if you are an expert on Colorado law, please email me! I could really use your help.
Why isn’t it illegal for alcoholics to have children? Why isn’t it illegal for parents who physically fight and argue into the late night to have a child? Why isn’t emotional and mental abuse against the law?
I have a very good friend who is trying to break free from her parents. She has all signs of an abused child (afraid to reach out for help for fear of abuser’s backlash, completely dependent on others outside of abusive home, ect) and her mother has all the signs of an abusive parent (telling my friend not to tell the school or social services about the alcoholism and fights, etc). I am very scared for her. She has been on the verge of giving everything up lately, and I don’t want her to give up.
Isn’t there anything that can be legally done? Can’t the state force her parents to at least rehab or marriage counseling? They’ve already stopped by and said that they can’t take my friend to a foster home but I don’t think they know about the fights and the alcoholism..
If the state won’t do anything, what can she do? How should she keep crying for help? How should she let the state know about what is going on? They didn’t think the situation was serious enough, but my friend is spiraling into a depression she may not get out of.
As a friend, what can I do to help?
Please, if you are an expert on Colorado law, please email me! I could really use your help.
need help finding a way to break these horrible habits with pills and doctors. I am over weight and that just depresses me more…on top of that a single mom in school(nursing school) with 2 young kids. I try everyday to have a good healthy eating day BUT once night falls I can’t keep to it…..I binge and binge…….any suggestions on how to help curve this bad habit because I am having trouble doing it myself????
Thanks
my friend wants to get rid of her black neck using rubbing oil but her mom said it does not work so plz help me help my friend.
sorry i meant that she has a very black neck.
My mom and I disagree on this. I feel that people who are passionate about a hobby or collecting things is good this because it’s good to find things in life to ‘get in to’ or be passioniate about. I feel this takes the place of unhealthy addictions such as drugs and alcohol. My mom calls people who collect things example(guy who collects star wars stuff) obsessed and addicted and she says that it’s just as bad as being a drug addict. I feel that hobbies and collections are healthy forms of self expression that take the place of addictions to drugs and alcohol. What do you think?
did this happen:
I met some guy, dont know what he was trying to do anyway he invited to his apt. I went in, he was kind of disrespecting me. I said let’s go outside, so we did. he was smoking a lil cigar. I dont smoke but for that minute, I ask him can I have some, I took a puff, pulled my right ear, pulled my left ear then I pulled on the front top of my shirt and to my suprise and HIS surprise smoke came out….. He ran so fast, I went to go see where he went and he was gone. vanish. I still remember that. I wonder why did that trick happen and on time like that. Im far from a magician.
This why I brought up this story Ive been reading alot on empaths I believe Im one to a degree, or highly senitive to others emotions. for instance my aunt she’s a drug addict and did some devilish things to me. I forgave her, I took some money around for her to borrow anyway she had the demons in her, looked so smoked/cracked out and bad. I felt it and saw it she gave me a look like she wanted to do something to me(evil eye)soon as I got back home she called me cussing me out going all crazy. I asked her what she called for she was still hyped to tell me she called for
“nothing” wtf anyway……I just felt something like a glimpse, I know she wanted to take my positive energy away from me, like TRY and steal my soul?? Do my family know that I know they are evil! oh and up top about the smoke coming from my shirt what was that about???
I collect angels my mother was a very good person, she was killed family didn’t care but anyone can tell you she was a sweet person anyway years ago I had a dream about my mom next day I got a tattoo angel. now Im thinking years later I collect angels was this a sign from my mom and she left me with other spirituals feelings of ppl and life. sorta like protections
I would like to know why and how?
did this happen:
I met some guy, dont know what he was trying to do anyway he invited to his apt. I went in, he was kind of disrespecting me. I said let’s go outside, so we did. he was smoking a lil cigar. I dont smoke but for that minute, I ask him can I have some, I took a puff, pulled my right ear, pulled my left ear then I pulled on the front top of my shirt and to my suprise and HIS surprise smoke came out….. He ran so fast, I went to go see where he went and he was gone. vanish. I still remember that. I wonder why did that trick happen and on time like that. Im far from a magician.
This why I brought up this story Ive been reading alot on empaths I believe Im one to a degree, or highly senitive to others emotions. for instance my aunt she’s a drug addict and did some devilish things to me. I forgave her, I took some money around for her to borrow anyway she had the demons in her, looked so smoked/cracked out and bad. I felt it and saw it she gave me a look like she wanted to do something to me(evil eye)soon as I got back home she called me cussing me out going all crazy. I asked her what she called for she was still hyped to tell me she called for
“nothing” wtf anyway……I just felt something like a glimpse, I know she wanted to take my positive energy away from me, like TRY and steal my soul?? Do my family know that I know they are evil! oh and up top about the smoke coming from my shirt what was that about???
I collect angels my mother was a very good person, she was killed family didn’t care but anyone can tell you she was a sweet person anyway years ago I had a dream about my mom next day I got a tattoo angel. now Im thinking years later I collect angels was this a sign from my mom and she left me with other spirituals feelings of ppl and life. sorta like protections
kitkat please just please
Deth is Life. yup that’s the truth. it’s so real… I had to think about it and it came to me. thanks.
We have been living with these problems for over 20 years now. It seems like lately she keeps saying that she has hit rock bottom, but continues to drink all night all. She has has an eating disorder, where if she does eat she will throw it up almost every night. She has been in and out of rehab places over the past 20 years and every time the doctors don’t think she will live too much longer. She also lies all the time about the things that she is doing, even when you watch her do it she will tell you shes not. During these tough times me and my husband live with them and now some of our things are missing (mostly alcohol). She of course says that she doesn’t take anything, but I don’t think I can believe anything she says anymore. My question is, how can I get myself not to be so mad at her to the point where I don’t even want to see her? If anyone else has gone through a similar situation, was there ever a time that it got better?
This is a long story so I will shorten it up. Bit by doing this it will sound ruthless and heartless. Like I did not care at all. I guess behind the drugs and pain, I didn’t. The hardest thing to understand is that I did care, just so addicted to the drugs that the addiction was all that mattered at the time.
Most of my life I have been an addict. Twenty-eight years as a matter of fact.In that time I was blessed with. Two beautiful daughters, three beautiful grand-children, the love of my life, the life and death of my mother. All the gifts that I just mentioned, somehow, someway; I destroyed, complicated, hurt, left alone, broke their hearts, lied to them, spoke terrible words to them all. I deeply regret saying any of them to any of my loved one’s. The worst of the spoken words I spoke to my mom a week later she died. Never got to say sorry, I did not mean those words mom. She took care of my children while I was in prison and I allowed drugs (once again) to steal not only my life but the life of my family. She died hearing those words to horrible to repeat over and over (I am assuming because that is what I would do) and her biggest fear came true because of me… she died while her daughter was a drug addicted prostitute. That is how she remembers me, and the words I screamed at her.
My oldest daughter had a real good first part of her life. I was not a bad drug addict and still had family morals and values that I let nothing jade. However the youngest had less of a childhood life. She got to see me go from normal mom to crack hoe! So did my oldest they both should have never been subjected to that life. My youngest is in foster care because of my shelfishness of addiction. My oldest has inheiriated my unfonituate genes. She is an addict and bi-polar, just lost her three to CPS, I say it coming, but could not tell her any better. I can not help think that if she had better teaching (mom in her life as a child)maybe she would have better (or any) tools(life coping skills) to work with.
My husband, best friend, and thanks to me I am his worst enemy (I hate myself for this too) I put this man through h*ll. The first years were great, strong relationship, then I happened. I left him (my whole family) and went to smoke crack, pretty soon I needed another way to get money. So I sarted prostituing (never in a million years) I still can not believe I did it, but I did. He would take me back (but with rage and hard, hard words) which I expected some kind of anger, after all look what a I did! I would get mad at his words and leave go back to the streets. This process was repeated about 7 times. He always took me back, but displaying more and more hate on the flick of a switch.
I am in college now, off the streets, talk to my daughters, (haven’t seen g-babies in a while) I feel that I have changed a great amount in the short time change has been an issue in my life (5 years). I live with my husband, we have our own rooms, I pay the bills and he provides everything else for me that I need. I love this man, and he tells me daily how much he hates me and how I ruint his life. But then in the next instance he loves me and worries about me. He is sure to point out what I was and Who I hurt and all the bad I want left behind me. I have really thought about trying suicide again, but….
I guess my question is, “Can a person who has done so many terrible things in their life that not only affects them but family as well forgive themselves? What if the terrible things done( in the past) are an almost everyday anouncement when I do something wrong. Things throwed in about past actions , reminded of the thing I am most ashamed of as well as sorry for, or either,never will be anything but that sorry person I was (so I am told). Is it me that is having trouble forgiving or a family member??/
Alright, well about 30 minutes ago she told me to “get the f*** off of that laptop” I said, “I’m busy doing homework”, then she turned my console off, and I got pretty mad as I had an unsaved game on there so she started being really horrible, “Everybody hates you”…”you have no friends”…”no-one can stand you”, this is quite correct, I only have like, two friends, and it hurts me because not many people really like me, not sure why, probably because I’m ugly, who knows?
(i’m not nasty to people or anything by the way)…but anyway, some other times she calls me an idiot (for my actions and actually means it) it hurts my feelings quite a lot, and I’m not over reacting, she actually means it. :/
She goes out on a friday and saturday night, all night until the evening time, then leaves again and does the same. As I am only 15 years old, I shouldn’t really be left alone in my household, but she doesn’t care what I do, she’ll say “are you staying here or going to your brother’s house?”, while we live next door to two heroin and crack heads and it is quite rough in the area – she does not care what happens to me. (she’d leave me in the house alone, I know I am just about old enough to be left but anything could happen!) And, I shouldn’t have to be going places every weekend just because of her. I like staying at home but I’m quite uncomfortable being alone as anything could happen…
I know I may have not explained enough, sorry…this is really depressing me, I don’t know what to do about it. I have no-one to talk to. I feel like a lifeless piece of crap, feels as if I am unloved and my mom just makes herself look like a total self-centered prat.
Any advice? :(
Thanks all, take care.
Not chugging it but she drank frequently.
I find myself yearning for wine even though a second ago, I spit it out, hating it. And had to fight off cravings for a month.
And when I start eating some type of food I really like, I can’t stop eating though my stomach’s bulging. But no, I’m not fat. Underweight, in fact.
my mom is an alcoholic, but she says she’ll start to drink in moderation, my dad says that me and my brother should go live with him, and im not sure what to do, i know theres like allon or what ever its called :P and iv checked it out, but shes been so bad at times, but then in the day shes a perfectly great mother, its jsut at night that is bad, i really do want to go live with my dad and step mom, but im just not sure what to do, my mom has been better for drinking like she said she would for the last couple of days, but can an alcoholic just decide to drink moderatly and be okay PLEASE HELP!
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