We will help you get your mom off drugs!

Let’s start with I live in a crappy row house that always gets water bugs & stuff always dirty (im the only one that cleans) Its packed with my grandparents,aunt,aunts bf,baby on the way,cousin,2 dogs,bird,& 2 friends of my grandparents that use our house as a flop house & me (3 bedroom house 1 bathroom). Im so tired of living in a crappy place but i dont have much choices. i get screwed from all angles because everywhere i pick im hurting myself or someone else. im not supposed to move till highschool but i cant wait any longer. my other choices are my overprotective aunt & uncle,drug addict mom & old woman grandmom (no offence to either),or where i am now. im always getting yelled at & told wat to do & my dreams are being crushed by the choices of my family. how do i bring it up that i want to leave without hurting anyone,where should i go & to make it better technically i dont belong to anyone considering half custody is nothing when my moms out of jail. please help?!!

I have been married for 8 years and have 2 boys. I feel that there is no hope for my marriage. I am not loved by my husband, who states that he is still here because of the children. If I stay, my children will be exposed to alcoholism and verbal abuse but if I leave there is the possibilty that the children will lose their father to alcohol. My mind keeps telling me that it’s not my fault and what he says to me is not true. I’m not the perfect wife and not the perfect mother. But I’m not God awful either. It’s like I’m dammed if I stay and I’m dammed if Ieave. I cannot bear another episode of hearing put downs when my husband is drunk. I can’t help but fear that I will blamed by his family if I leave and he drinks himself to death. He doesn’t drink everyday, but he goes on binges when we have unresolved issues. The issues are mainly about cooking or that I don’t take care of him the way I should. It’s getting worse and I don’t know where to turn for help

I have been married for 8 years and have 2 boys. I feel that there is no hope for my marriage. I am not loved by my husband, who states that he is still here because of the children. If I stay, my children will be exposed to alcoholism and verbal abuse but if I leave there is the possibilty that the children will lose their father to alcohol. My mind keeps telling me that it’s not my fault and what he says to me is not true. I’m not the perfect wife and not the perfect mother. But I’m not God awful either. It’s like I’m dammed if I stay and I’m dammed if Ieave. I cannot bear another episode of hearing put downs when my husband is drunk. I can’t help but fear that I will blamed by his family if I leave and he drinks himself to death. He doesn’t drink everyday, but he goes on binges when we have unresolved issues. The issues are mainly about cooking or that I don’t take care of him the way I should. It’s getting worse and I don’t know where to turn for help

I know this is very, very long, but please, bear with me. I need some advice badly.

Well, I’m in a pickle I guess you could say. My mother is 66 years old. She had a very rough childhood growing up poor in the 1940′s and 50′s and what not and she was in an abusive marriage for nearly 26 years. She had three children. The eldest (my sister) is 45, the second eldest (also my sister) is 42 going on 43. I’m the last child (and the only male of course) and I’m going to be 25 very soon. My mother sacrificed a lot for the three of us and unfortunately for me she has never learned to let go of her children. And my problem is twofold when you consider the fact that my mother has no kind of savings (she has tried) and still has to work. I along with my niece live with my mother in an apartment and I give her 400 dollars monthly plus any money I spend from time to time on groceries, water or take-out for everyone.
I’m dating this wonderful woman for about a year now who is nearly eight years my senior and things are getting quite serious. We’ve already seriously discussed marriage and I love her and she is good to me.

But to my mother, this girl poses a double threat. Not only does she get much of my attention, she also believes that now that I’m dating this woman, we’ll get a house together and that she will have nowhere to live and that I’m spending my money foolishly on her (which isn’t true) and even if it was, she’s worth it.

My mother’s hard life and marriage has made her extremely bitter and she feels that the world owes her for being the best mother ever (do you detect the sarcasm?) and she puts me (mostly since I live with her) and my siblings on guilt trips to places as far as New Zealand. None of my older siblings have houses and to my mother that’s equates to being a drug addict living in a halfway house. She constantly berates my sisters and myself for not getting a home so she can have a place to live.

I’m working on getting a place. I already have over 8000 saved up. I’m just waiting to finish off my car loan which should be sometime late this year or very early next year. The only problem is I don’t want to live with my mother anymore nor do I want her to live with me. She’s one of the most miserable people I’ve ever met and she’s been like this for as long as I can remember. And I really don’t think her having a room in my home would make her any happier. She’s looking for happiness in a house and I don’t think she’s going to find it. Along with guilt trips, she often thinks she’s better off dead and said she understood why one of my relatives wished for it. I was so angry, hurt and frustrated when she said that. For a moment I wanted that wish to come true, but I came to my senses. Another that gets my goat with her is that nothing ever satisfies her, she’s never happy and she constantly compares her “shitty” life to the lives of other single mothers who managed to get homes and whose children manged to get homes who came to Nassau (Bahamas, she migrated from Matthew Town, Inagua) the same time she did.

I know if I marry my girlfriend, my mother will detest the relationship for the foreseeable future. There was one time earlier this year that mother said she never wanted to live with a daughter in law anyway which implied to me that she never wanted me to get married since she wanted me to get a house so she could live with me.

My mother’s bitter attitude has driven a wedge between us and she doesn’t want to let me grow up. She still tries to do everything for me and even my middle sister who is 42 and single and childless brings her laundry there every weekend and my mother washes it all. She spoiled us which made independence difficult for me as a man, especially. She constantly makes her children’s problems her own and is often driven to tears because of it. I’ve tried talking to her, I’ve prayed about it. I’ve asked my older coworkers for advice and I’m fairly certain of what I’m going to do, it’s just that no-one will like it. My eldest sister just recently got married and she sends what she can (which isn’t good enough) and my second sister makes much more than I do but spends her money on expensive clothes, shoes and jewelry. They could do more to help my mother out financially but it looks like everyone expects the issue to fall on my shoulders and I’m intent on not letting that happen. She has two older children who should have been making a way for her. I mean I was I little child when they were in their late twenties for God’s sake.

I can’t tolerate my mother’s negative attitude towards me, my choices and life in general. If I sleep over at my girlfriend’s place, she goes nuts and goes into her bitching mode. “I sacrificed everything for my children and no-one wants to do anything for me. Dogs get treated better than me. I’d be better off dead. I’m a good mother. I’ve done everything right in my life” etc.

I’m at the point where her sob stories and guilt tr
I’m at the point where her sob stories and guilt trips don’t work anymore. I mean, hell, she’s been doing them for over 20 years and it got old. I’m more than ready to move out but I know she need financial help and my sisters need to do more. After reading this epistle, does anyone have any advice for me? I know that if I’m unhappy living with her now, her living with me as a married man will only be worse.
To Emma M:

LOL. Nah, Emma. I don’t have any family in New Zealand. I just said my mother’s awful guilt trips would take you that far.

I know this is very, very long, but please, bear with me. I need some advice badly.

Well, I’m in a pickle I guess you could say. My mother is 66 years old. She had a very rough childhood growing up poor in the 1940′s and 50′s and what not and she was in an abusive marriage for nearly 26 years. She had three children. The eldest (my sister) is 45, the second eldest (also my sister) is 42 going on 43. I’m the last child (and the only male of course) and I’m going to be 25 very soon. My mother sacrificed a lot for the three of us and unfortunately for me she has never learned to let go of her children. And my problem is twofold when you consider the fact that my mother has no kind of savings (she has tried) and still has to work. I along with my niece live with my mother in an apartment and I give her 400 dollars monthly plus any money I spend from time to time on groceries, water or take-out for everyone.
I’m dating this wonderful woman for about a year now who is nearly eight years my senior and things are getting quite serious. We’ve already seriously discussed marriage and I love her and she is good to me.

But to my mother, this girl poses a double threat. Not only does she get much of my attention, she also believes that now that I’m dating this woman, we’ll get a house together and that she will have nowhere to live and that I’m spending my money foolishly on her (which isn’t true) and even if it was, she’s worth it.

My mother’s hard life and marriage has made her extremely bitter and she feels that the world owes her for being the best mother ever (do you detect the sarcasm?) and she puts me (mostly since I live with her) and my siblings on guilt trips to places as far as New Zealand. None of my older siblings have houses and to my mother that’s equates to being a drug addict living in a halfway house. She constantly berates my sisters and myself for not getting a home so she can have a place to live.

I’m working on getting a place. I already have over 8000 saved up. I’m just waiting to finish off my car loan which should be sometime late this year or very early next year. The only problem is I don’t want to live with my mother anymore nor do I want her to live with me. She’s one of the most miserable people I’ve ever met and she’s been like this for as long as I can remember. And I really don’t think her having a room in my home would make her any happier. She’s looking for happiness in a house and I don’t think she’s going to find it. Along with guilt trips, she often thinks she’s better off dead and said she understood why one of my relatives wished for it. I was so angry, hurt and frustrated when she said that. For a moment I wanted that wish to come true, but I came to my senses. Another that gets my goat with her is that nothing ever satisfies her, she’s never happy and she constantly compares her “shitty” life to the lives of other single mothers who managed to get homes and whose children manged to get homes who came to Nassau (Bahamas, she migrated from Matthew Town, Inagua) the same time she did.

I know if I marry my girlfriend, my mother will detest the relationship for the foreseeable future. There was one time earlier this year that mother said she never wanted to live with a daughter in law anyway which implied to me that she never wanted me to get married since she wanted me to get a house so she could live with me.

My mother’s bitter attitude has driven a wedge between us and she doesn’t want to let me grow up. She still tries to do everything for me and even my middle sister who is 42 and single and childless brings her laundry there every weekend and my mother washes it all. She spoiled us which made independence difficult for me as a man, especially. She constantly makes her children’s problems her own and is often driven to tears because of it. I’ve tried talking to her, I’ve prayed about it. I’ve asked my older coworkers for advice and I’m fairly certain of what I’m going to do, it’s just that no-one will like it. My eldest sister just recently got married and she sends what she can (which isn’t good enough) and my second sister makes much more than I do but spends her money on expensive clothes, shoes and jewelry. They could do more to help my mother out financially but it looks like everyone expects the issue to fall on my shoulders and I’m intent on not letting that happen. She has two older children who should have been making a way for her. I mean I was I little child when they were in their late twenties for God’s sake.

I can’t tolerate my mother’s negative attitude towards me, my choices and life in general. If I sleep over at my girlfriend’s place, she goes nuts and goes into her bitching mode. “I sacrificed everything for my children and no-one wants to do anything for me. Dogs get treated better than me. I’d be better off dead. I’m a good mother. I’ve done everything right in my life” etc.

I’m at the point where her sob stories and guilt tr
I’m at the point where her sob stories and guilt trips don’t work anymore. I mean, hell, she’s been doing them for over 20 years and it got old. I’m more than ready to move out but I know she need financial help and my sisters need to do more. After reading this epistle, does anyone have any advice for me? I know that if I’m unhappy living with her now, her living with me as a married man will only be worse.
To Emma M:

LOL. Nah, Emma. I don’t have any family in New Zealand. I just said my mother’s awful guilt trips would take you that far.

My mother-in-law is a drug addict. She constantly demands that I leave my five year old daughter alone with her for sleepovers and such. I’ve also seen some pretty scary things she’s done with my nephew like taking dozens of pictures of him naked. He’s almost six. She makes me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t trust her. Yet she gets outraged when we don’t do what she says. My husband won’t stand up to her. He’s stood back while she’s called me names, said I was a bad mother, and said she’d take us to court for grandparents rights. He gives into her every time and we’ve fought nonstop for six years over this. Personally, to me, she’s nothing but a piece of perverted garbage and I want to tear her throat out as well as my husbands. How do I protect my daughter’s and my own well being when I’m constantly being attacked???? Help me.

My husband has a 7 year old daughter. Her mom, and my husband were never married. However he lets the mom do what ever she wants in concerns to his family, and our family. For instance, she calls his parents all the time to see if they can pick up her daughter, or watch her. I feel like she should call us, and then my husband can call his parents if he wishes. She just recently called his parents and asked them for money so the daughter can go Christmas shopping. Am I the only one who finds this over the line? I told my husband he needs to say something, but he doesn’t want to start a fight at christmas. So nothing will be said ever.
They have never had a “set” visitation. Just whenever is convenient for the mom. Which makes me ANGRY. so my husband is too afraid to say anything fearing she might keep his daughter away. So he allows her to make comments like, “We’ll figure something out” concerning how we celebrate Christmas, IN MY HOUSE! She does not get any say about my house. He lets her do anything she wants, while at the same time yelling at me for, one time, calling his parents and asking if they could watch our 1 year old so I could go to work, while he was on a drunken binge and I couldn’t find him. (he has since then quit drinking). She seriously calls his parents ALL the time asking favors, she asked my husband to miss a day of work and go testify on her behalf for custody of her other child. He said yes (he ended up not being needed, but HE SAID YES). She doesn’t just call, she calls and talks forever to him. I’m talking like at least 10 minutes every time. And he never says anything to her about the things she does.
I’ve said things to him over and over and over and the only thing that has ever been said to her, was when I called her and had a talk to her about calling his mom and telling her things that she didn’t like that happened at our house while the daughter was there, (I’m talking like she thought she stayed up too late, and that she had a friend stay the night).
I feel like he is still in love with her and would rather be with her. Am I stupid for thinking this?
I don’t know what else I can possibly do about this. any advice would be great.
What bothers me, is the fact that his parents do not want her calling them all the time, but he won’t say anything to her. I understand that he wants to be amicable because of his daughter, but when it turns our lives, and OUR daughter’s life upside down, I do have a say it in, and a problem with it. I have also bent over backwards for her. She should never be calling his parents and asking for money. My problem is that he says he has a problem with it but doesn’t do anything, which tells me that she can do anything she wants.
the phone calls consist of everything. What is going on in her life, what she is doing this weekend, it will be about 2 min. of child related things then… He pays regular child support and is not behind. i don’t really think I think he’s in love with her, but sometimes it feels like it. Just the way he treats us.
Thank you Sue D and DJ for understanding what I was trying to say.
It’s not even close to being about keeping the grandparents away, but about setting boundries. I don’t think I’m a bad person, or an insecure person for this.
To Kitty: just one thing, he was not responsible enough to have our DAUGHTER cared for while he went out drinking. He just left. Didn’t tell me he was leaving, and never came home. I was stuck in the morning trying to figure out what to do so I could go to work.
Again I understand that he is trying to be amicable, however I feel like when his parents tell him that they wish she wouldn’t call them all the time, that he should say something to her. and by not it is telling her that is is ok.

i was in love with a mature girl. She left me i cracked up bla bla. i should have been more manly. Anyways I saw her last time i got drunk, i messed it up. I m smoking too much cigarettes lately. And i called her today her mom answered and told me not to call her anymore. I feel used, stupid, emotional, reckless. But i have learned. I never ever thought i would reach such a place in my life where i get disrespected by a mother of an ex. Cause i know i was the one who messed it up but i wanted to make it work again but it was too late i kept on messing it more and more. Its like gambling i never knew when to stop. untill i got disrespected. How would i consider looking at that girl again in my life ? she lives close
And is he happy ?

I was adopted at birth, and although my adoptive parents are great people just like everyone else they had issues. My mother is extremely bipolar and left unmediucated and my father died years back from his alcoholism. Then when I was 18 I had my daughter and was married. Then when my little girl turned two my husband started becoming abusive so I had to leave. I was left with no financial support and very little family left so I set out to find my birth father. We had an instant connection. We have soooo much in common its freaky. And since I’m in a jam he invited me to live w him n help me get back on my feet. I graciously accepted because I was one step away from being homeless w my three year old. At first things were great but now his wife of eleven years wants to leave now that I’m there. She’s very good person but is just very private and she’s having a hard time accepting the fact that she kinda has to share my dad now. It’s also hard cause we are close in age. I’m 22 she’s 30 and my dads forty. She’s not ugly to me at all…she just can’t handle me being there. So I told my dad I was moving out and he was hysterical and said if she wants to leave let her leave I don’t want to lose you and you need a stable home for your baby. But I just feel so rotten about potentially ruining their marriage. So…..should I stay or should I go??

I’m starting law school tomorrow. It’s 2 and a half hours from where my family lives.

I feel guilty about leaving because there is a lot going on at home and I’ve already been away for four years of college. My little brother is only 13 and has no positive male influence in his life, other than me. My father and mother are still married, but my dad is an underemployed alcoholic. My mother is absolutely wonderful, but I feel she needs a break. My grandma (my mom’s mom) was just diagnosed with lung cancer and my mom is an only child. She will have to be the sole caregiver because my grandfather passed away. She also works 50 hours a week, takes care of my brother and does literally all of the domestic stuff when I’m not home. I do give her a couple of hundred dollars a month, but that is really not a lot. She would never leave my father because she took her marriage vows seriously, despite his alcoholism and lack of contribution to the family, but I worry about his influence on my brother.

What do you think? Should I go to law school and hope that it will allow me to help them much more in the future? Or should I get a job closer to home and live with my parents so that I pay them 1500 a month to help make ends meet and to give my mom a break? It would also allow me to influence my little brother more.

I have been with a girl for over a year now. I do everything for this girl. She treats me & her mother really bad at times & she treat her friends like gold. Especially when she is wanting her fix. She has a major drug and alcohol problem. She disappears for hours at a time doing drugs with her friends. She runs to the bad part of town aka drug city. Its hard telling what she is doing for these drugs. She has very little money. Me and her mother are the only ones who really care & support her. I cant stand this stuff. Will this get any better? I do love her or I would have left along time ago. I have given her chances to change many times. She promises to stop but starts it all back up a week or two later. I have not talked to her in two weeks. I have been ignoring her texts and calls. I am so mad & hurt. I just don’t think she will ever change. She has already been to rehab a few times in the past for drugs. Her mom said it didn’t help much. She was off drugs for a few weeks then right back on them. Should I keep on ignoring her & move on?

My kids went to their grandparents house for the weekend. They brought books and game systems and things to occupy themselves. My son is a bit addicted to his nintendo ds and he may play too much when he visits, but I leave my parents in law to make the decisions in their own home. My daughter is bothered by all the time he spends on the ds. My mother in law tells him to end it while they are watching a show, or end it and go to bed, I feel its up to them to enforce it, because I’m not there to tell him to turn it off. They don’t enforce it, they let him get away with not listening. My daughter tells him and gets mad at him and sometimes bribes him to stop but he doesn’t listen to her. I cant enforce my son to listen if my in laws don’t force him and I cant expect my son to listen to his sister when she shouldn’t be telling him what to do. He doesn’t tell her what to do, he minds his own business and does his own thing. My parents in law are obsessed skinny people who look down on over weight people as being lazy, and when they see my son as being lazy, they might think that its my fault, because they have called me lazy before because I am a stay at home Mom, and not anorexic looking like they are. My daughter is so afraid that they will look at her as being lazy, because of my sons actions. She tells him what to do and expects him to listen because she feels he is in the wrong and disrespecting her. I think if my inlaws want to judge us then that is their problem, and I think if they want the kids to listen to them then it is up to them to enforse their rules. My kids will not disobay their grandparents, and my son will listen if his grandmother tells him that she means it and he better do it now. Even take it away if he wont listen, but she really doesnt mind if he gets away with things. My daughter came home upset and told me the whole story. I hear the same thing over and over. He wont listen to her, and I tell her that he doesnt have to listen to her. I tell her its up to there Grandparents not me. I have talked to my inlaws and they have no problems and find nothing the kids do wrong, they love having them. I find that my daughter wants to control her brother and I want her to go about doing her own thing and ignore her brother. She tells me that he watches to much tv or spends to much time at his friends house or he plays his games too long, over and over I say how does it affect you? She just doesnt want him to get away with things and feels he should listen to her and I should disipline him when she feels hes done something wrong, when I feel he hasnt. What can you say as a parent to my daughter, that you would say to your daughter? What can you say to her as a teenager or friend? They are 15(daughter) and 12(son). Thanks for all of the advice.

My kids went to their grandparents house for the weekend. They brought books and game systems and things to occupy themselves. My son is a bit addicted to his nintendo ds and he may play too much when he visits, but I leave my parents in law to make the decisions in their own home. My daughter is bothered by all the time he spends on the ds. My mother in law tells him to end it while they are watching a show, or end it and go to bed, I feel its up to them to enforce it, because I’m not there to tell him to turn it off. They don’t enforce it, they let him get away with not listening. My daughter tells him and gets mad at him and sometimes bribes him to stop but he doesn’t listen to her. I cant enforce my son to listen if my in laws don’t force him and I cant expect my son to listen to his sister when she shouldn’t be telling him what to do. He doesn’t tell her what to do, he minds his own business and does his own thing. My parents in law are obsessed skinny people who look down on over weight people as being lazy, and when they see my son as being lazy, they might think that its my fault, because they have called me lazy before because I am a stay at home Mom, and not anorexic looking like they are. My daughter is so afraid that they will look at her as being lazy, because of my sons actions. She tells him what to do and expects him to listen because she feels he is in the wrong and disrespecting her. I think if my inlaws want to judge us then that is their problem, and I think if they want the kids to listen to them then it is up to them to enforse their rules. My kids will not disobay their grandparents, and my son will listen if his grandmother tells him that she means it and he better do it now. Even take it away if he wont listen, but she really doesnt mind if he gets away with things. My daughter came home upset and told me the whole story. I hear the same thing over and over. He wont listen to her, and I tell her that he doesnt have to listen to her. I tell her its up to there Grandparents not me. I have talked to my inlaws and they have no problems and find nothing the kids do wrong, they love having them. I find that my daughter wants to control her brother and I want her to go about doing her own thing and ignore her brother. She tells me that he watches to much tv or spends to much time at his friends house or he plays his games too long, over and over I say how does it affect you? She just doesnt want him to get away with things and feels he should listen to her and I should disipline him when she feels hes done something wrong, when I feel he hasnt. What can you say as a parent to my daughter, that you would say to your daughter? What can you say to her as a teenager or friend? They are 15(daughter) and 12(son). Thanks for all of the advice.

My dad is an alcoholic…Has been in and out of recovery and 12 step groups like A.A. for years…Has found success for LONG periods also. But, eventually, he always falls off the wagon…Ordinarily he is a good father to me and my older brother and a good husband to my mom. However as some of you probably know from personal experience, an “ordinarily good person” whom is in the throes of an alcoholic binge tends NOT to act in their ordinary way….

Case in point: Last night my father got horribly drunk and made a huge scene…long story short, he stormed out of the house only to come back with a can of gasoline. He poured some gas all over and he threatened to burn the house down…My mom, me and Brother left the house and are staying with my grandparents for a few days. until my uncle can get my dad the help he needs. detox and A.A. etc. because when he’s sober he’s a great man and I know my mom would NEVER leave him because she loves him and firmly believes in the sanctity of marriage. Furthermore, My older bro. and I would be devastated if my parents split up…Anyway, my mom is under a lot of stress naturally, what with her husband on an alcoholic binge and the responsibility of 2 young kids.

To get to the point: My grandma is real nice, but she doesn’t have ANY good breakfast foods in the house(there is plenty of food, just not what me and my bro. like)…Would it be wrong to ask my mom, if we could go shopping for BETTER cereals and pop-tarts, while she’s so stressed out? or should I just eat the Fiber oats and shut up?

Sorry this was so lengthy, any advice would be great. I can’t stand Fiber Oats.
I know you guys mean well but It really isn’t appropriate to call my dad, who I love, who has a problem, a drunken idiot etc..

My kids went to their grandparents house for the weekend. They brought books and game systems and things to occupy themselves. My son is a bit addicted to his nintendo ds and he may play too much when he visits, but I leave my parents in law to make the decisions in their own home. My daughter is bothered by all the time he spends on the ds. My mother in law tells him to end it while they are watching a show, or end it and go to bed, I feel its up to them to enforce it, because I’m not there to tell him to turn it off. They don’t enforce it, they let him get away with not listening. My daughter tells him and gets mad at him and sometimes bribes him to stop but he doesn’t listen to her. I cant enforce my son to listen if my in laws don’t force him and I cant expect my son to listen to his sister when she shouldn’t be telling him what to do. He doesn’t tell her what to do, he minds his own business and does his own thing. My parents in law are obsessed skinny people who look down on over weight people as being lazy, and when they see my son as being lazy, they might think that its my fault, because they have called me lazy before because I am a stay at home Mom, and not anorexic looking like they are. My daughter is so afraid that they will look at her as being lazy, because of my sons actions. She tells him what to do and expects him to listen because she feels he is in the wrong and disrespecting her. I think if my inlaws want to judge us then that is their problem, and I think if they want the kids to listen to them then it is up to them to enforse their rules. My kids will not disobay their grandparents, and my son will listen if his grandmother tells him that she means it and he better do it now. Even take it away if he wont listen, but she really doesnt mind if he gets away with things. My daughter came home upset and told me the whole story. I hear the same thing over and over. He wont listen to her, and I tell her that he doesnt have to listen to her. I tell her its up to there Grandparents not me. I have talked to my inlaws and they have no problems and find nothing the kids do wrong, they love having them. I find that my daughter wants to control her brother and I want her to go about doing her own thing and ignore her brother. She tells me that he watches to much tv or spends to much time at his friends house or he plays his games too long, over and over I say how does it affect you? She just doesnt want him to get away with things and feels he should listen to her and I should disipline him when she feels hes done something wrong, when I feel he hasnt. What can you say as a parent to my daughter, that you would say to your daughter? What can you say to her as a teenager or friend? They are 15(daughter) and 12(son). Thanks for all of the advice.

my old friend..she has had a pretty rough life..this is kind of mean to list all her tragedies, but just so you get an idea
-her father died last year because he had hep c from heroin
-her mom is in rehab right now for alcoholism and was also a drug addict..she would go to the methadone clinic everyday
-she got pregnant but had an abortion
-her family was evicted and had to live in shelters for a while
-she eventually just moved in with her aunt, while the mother took her two younger kids with her
-her father once cheated on her mother and lived with another women after..he would also abuse the mother
-her little brother would get abused when he was 2 or 3..he would get tied up
-she showed me drugs in her house once from her parents
-her mom was a prostitute who’d have men over so she could get money for drugs
-her mother always gave promises she couldn’t keep and lied
-her cousin would make her and her sister do *things* with him..and she was so nonchalant about it when she told me..she was always very lustful

now, she is just all about getting effed up..you know, partying, drinking, weed..wearing ‘hot’ things..she has an attitude to her..she walks around like she owns the place and stayed back last year..i don’t feel like “good, with that attitude, and the way she would treat me before,she deserves this stuff”..i feel like the stuff in her life has caused her to be like this and i feel bad

i can’t do much..i can’t reconnect..she cares too much about her status and reputation to take me seriously if i ever wanted to help her..she might think i am too smart for her, but i am not too smart, i just have my priorities somewhere else

This is kind of long, so I appreciate those of you who take the time to read it all. I think these details are necessary so you can see where I’m coming from.

My uncle got married a few years ago to a women he met at AA (yes, Alcoholics Anonymous). My uncle has always been the “screwed up one”. He’s had problems with alcoholism, a coke addiction, keeping a job, and has been in jail a few times. He’s caused problems at past family functions, but he’s been pretty good about it for the past 8 or 9 years or so.

Anyway, it’s his wife that has become the problem. This past Christmas we had a family get together at my cousin’s house (my cousin is my matron of honor). My uncles wife got very VERY drunk. She had a bottle of whiskey hidden in her pocket and was drinking it. We were all unaware of this until later. So she goes and lays down in my cousin’s roomate’s room for awhile. Then she gets up to use the bathroom. On her way out of the bathroom she starts SCREAMING at my mother. She accused my mother of sleeping with my uncle (who is my dad’s brother… we’re not THAT screwed up..LOL). She then repeatedly called my mother a wh*re and other things and then went back and layed down. My mother and the rest of us laughed it off and went back to chit-chatting and what not. She then starting banging doors, yelling and screaming,and calling my mother a wh*re again and again. My cousin tried talking to her and calming her down but it was like talking to a mental patient. This woman had serious dellusions.

So we’re thinking that this women has passed out because she’s gone quiet, but that wasn’t the case. She starts ranting and raving about how my cousin is a horrible mother and that she’s going to get her kids taken away from her. At that point my cousin flipped and tried to kick her out of her house. We ended up having to call the cops and she was taken away in handcuffs.Down at the station, she caused more problems and was held for the maxiumum amount of time allowed. My cousin is so livid over the whole situation and never wants to see my uncle’s wife again.

So I’m getting married June 5, 2010. My cousin is My MOH, her husband is my Fiance’s best man. I DO NOT want my uncle’s crazy wife at my wedding. No way, no how. Not only do I not want it ruined with something horrible like what happend at Christmas, I don’t want my cousin to have to deal with her either.

My question is this: How do I explain to my Uncle that while I’d really love for him to attend, I do not want his wife there? My uncle is my godfather and while he’s a little screwed up, he’s still a good guy. It would crush him not to be invited. I think he might understand if I explained about his wife, because he realizes how screwed up she is and had apologized to us for what happened and everything. He’s made comments about divorce and such, but I’m not sure if he’s really serious or not. All I know is that I don’t want him to be hurt and insulted.

I’m just not sure how to handle this. Does anyone have any opnion on what I should do?

She doesn’t even want to live there and doesn’t want our baby to.Her parents want complete control of the baby.They have no stable place to live,they threaten her if she even lets our baby come to my house.They don’t even have a house,they stay back n forth between friends and family members.I want my son to be safe.What rights do I have?

I am sooo lost please help me I am begging anyone to read this and give me advice I feel like im going to just completly fall apart because my lfe is such a mess…

I am 18.

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we are in love.
I am six months pregnant.
I go to school finishing my senior year from 8 am to 3 pm.
My parents are divorced.
My father is always in the negative he never has enough money just to live.
My mother is dating a drug addict who gets thousands of dollars from his rich family. and he is always angry and doesn’t really do anything for anyone but give them money because has a couple mill.
Because of this guy I have been in and out of the house since I was 16.
I now live with my boyfriends mother who gets by but barly makes enough money.
She makes us pay rent. 300 dollars a month.
She has a LOT of issues. she wont clean, I have to clean up after her, she doesnt make food for herself, and constantly screams and yells over little things. I dont want my baby around her my boyfriend and I agreed it wouldnt be healthy. I had contractions because of the stress she was causing at the house.
I get money for food from my moms boyfriend who i dont talk to.
My boyfriend goes to school full time and works 40 hours a week. But because my mother believes hes not doing enough for himself she doesn’t want to give us money (from the rich drug addict) because she doesn’t want to pay for his gas. and because he smokes weed on the weekends. she believes he doesnt deserve it.
I can’t live like this anymore no one will give me a job. We have to move out but we cant convence his mom to give us a month or two without rent so we can save enough money to move out so we are stuck in a cycle. I dont want to accept money from my moms drug addict boyfriend anymore I feel guilty doing it. and it causes my mom to hate my boyfriend because I buy him food or gas.
What would you do if you were me??!
I cant live here, I wont live with a drug addict, my dad cant afford to let us live at his house, but we cant afford to move out?!
I got denyed for welfare
uh no I didnt say I love him and “hate him” my boyfriend isnt the problem! he goes to college and works full time thats not a loser!!!!

my old friend..she has had a pretty rough life..this is kind of mean to list all her tragedies, but just so you get an idea
-her father died last year because he had hep c from heroin
-her mom is in rehab right now for alcoholism and was also a drug addict..she would go to the methadone clinic everyday
-she got pregnant but had an abortion
-her family was evicted and had to live in shelters for a while
-she eventually just moved in with her aunt, while the mother took her two younger kids with her
-her father once cheated on her mother and lived with another women after..he would also abuse the mother
-her little brother would get abused when he was 2 or 3..he would get tied up
-she showed me drugs in her house once from her parents
-her mom was a prostitute who’d have men over so she could get money for drugs
-her mother always gave promises she couldn’t keep and lied
-her cousin would make her and her sister do *things* with him..and she was so nonchalant about it when she told me..she was always very lustful

now, she is just all about getting effed up..you know, partying, drinking, weed..wearing ‘hot’ things..she has an attitude to her..she walks around like she owns the place and stayed back last year..i don’t feel like “good, with that attitude, and the way she would treat me before,she deserves this stuff”..i feel like the stuff in her life has caused her to be like this and i feel bad

i can’t do much..i can’t reconnect..she cares too much about her status and reputation to take me seriously if i ever wanted to help her..she might think i am too smart for her, but i am not too smart, i just have my priorities somewhere else