We will help you get your mom off drugs!

even more than uprooting and wanting to move, i have the added problem of being in a real bad relationship. i slowly allowed myself to be completely dependant on this man. i work for him at his store, there is alot of past abuse. my parents are both dead now ( my mom died 1 and a half ago.) and i dont have any other family. i feel like i have no where to turn. not to mention this economy, ( i also have a nice little record from when i deep ended and went on a binge when my mom died) im only 28, and i feel 100. maybe this is better detail than my previous question.

My husband is currently locked up waiting for trial on a possession charge with intent to deliver. I know that sounds really bad, but before you judge him in this situation you have to know all the facts. He grew up with his mother being a crack head. She lost custody of him and his brother and sister while in jail because her husband was molesting them. They was adopted by his grandmother and lived with her for some years before she was released from jail and even entered back into his life. Some years later, his brother killed himself. That put a strain on the family. He turned to drugs around that point in life and has fought the addiction off and on since. His grandmother turned to drinking and she is an alcoholic to this day. The whole situation is crazy. My husband and I have had several misunderstandings and conflict in our marriage due to his addictions. In fact if he hadn’t have gotten locked up, we probably would be headed for divorce. I went to see my husband last week. He is feeling real down about things, and has convinced himself I am going to leave him. But I don’t want to do what everyone else in his life has done. He needs help and when I went to see him he told me that. He has been through a lot of things in the time I have known him. I have never seen him cry about anything. The whole last fifteen minutes of visitation, he was crying saying he was tired. He says he is tired of doing drugs. Tired of what he has become. Tired of how he has treated me and he apologized a million times for that. He says he wants help. He doesn’t want them to let him go without getting him some help. He says he will do anything to make us work. He says he will stay away from all of his old friends. He says he don’t need friends, he needs me. He knows he can’t hang out with them and not be tempted to pop pills or smoke weed. Now my question, I guess, is about what should I expect him to do with his relationship with his mother. She is still a druggy. She hangs out with all of his druggy friends like she is young. So I really don’t want him to hang around with his own mom. I would have to worry every time that he is over his mom’s house that he is going to go down that road again. What can I do with this situation? Would I be wrong for saying he does not need to be hanging out at his mom’s house? I can tell him with no problems it is either his friends or me. I can’t deal this situation any more, but I for some reason can’t bring myself to address the issue of what kind of relationship he is going to have with his mother. Any suggestions?

lengthy, but I appreciate honest advice or personal experiences.

So I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We are serious and are thinking about marriage(not now, after we are finished with college defiantly). We are 19 years old and he still lives with his mom where I stay over a few days a week maybe. He gives her $1000 dollar checks every month, no problem, which irritates me because she has done nothing for him in high school, nor motivated him to go to college, nor buy clothes or anything he may have needed. I did all that. Well his dad died at the age of 51 a year ago this last week and his mom gets with some dude right away, only a 3 months after the death of the guy she was married to for 28 years…At first we’re like whatever makes her happy even though this hurt my boyfriends feelings a lot.

But, the guy is a complete A hole and is a lowlife. He is 53 and is supposedly retired, which a I do not believe. He moved right into the house as well after only a month of dating my bf’s mom. and he sold his car? WEIRD!?? This guy talks down about everyone and everything. I HATE IT because I had to put up with that kind of mean crap from my own dad, who is abusive and i am not close to.
anyways, this dude drink beer NON STOP! SERIOUSLY. I can understand a grown man wanting a beer on a hot day or once in a while(if not out at a bar), but he drinks 24/7 and a whole gallon of liquir lasts a week at this house now. This concerns me because now my bf’s mom drinks a lot and is drunk most of the time and is a real beotch to me, because we have had our difference but we put them aside b4 he came a long but i guess this dude does not like me? I think because I am not a push over like my bf, honestly my bf is too nice and takes the talking down to. i hate it and dont hang around them too much. This dude makes fun of my bf cause he goes to college and has made fun of his friends when they got a job and called them a whiney beotch because he works for his dad. like he cant just say congrats to the teenager in this economy? ANyways, but the point is that i think he is an alcoholic and is rude and tlks bad about ppl in EVER conversation, even my bf’s own family and what i dont get, is that my bfs mom will laugh when he makes fun of their family? WTF

Another thing, he has walked in on my changing, “accidentaly”…its happend twice and i dnt think it was an accident and my bf and i noticed that when we go to bed, this guy will come to the bathroom and come out and stand out side our bedroom door trying to hear us or something?? PERV??? we are adults, and besides we are not very sexually active anyways. my mom told me to open the door next time but i didnt get a chance to catch him because….

we went to a wedding recently and my mom was also invited. it was my bfs cousins wedding. my mom is very concerned adn think its not safe for me to be around this dude. and she gets in line to eat and goes up to this guy and tells him we are going to have a discussion, NOT TONIGHT because its a wedding but another night and she walks away and he starts yelling ” WHAT ABOUT? about “johns” bedroom door!??!” WTF he like admitted he is a perv when my mom didnt say what it was going to be about. guilty conscience??? my mom cont. to walk away and i sent my bf over cuz it was obvious they were tlking crap bout me or my mom to this aunt and uncle(who i love, and they r fun to be around). he goes over and he is indeed tlking and my bf tells him NOT to tlk bout me like that and the dude puts his finger in my bf’s face and my mom sees and comes up and tells him to get it out of his face CONTROL freak. OMG DRAMA. my bfs mom starts sobbing like a psycho cause she already drinking DRAMA!!! the dude tlks more crap and later that night some older dude pushes him in bathroom and this dude runs away and gets in my bfs face and is an inch away like he is gonna fight? cause i know he wouldnt fight the other dude cuz he was huge. but really? all this drama cuz my mom told him they were going to talk when they didnt even kno wut about??? I just sat their the whole time cuz i didnt want to get involved. but the aunt got my bf away from the dude cause he was screaming at my bf. and my bf’s sis(28 y.o) got in the dudes face for tlking to him like that and getting in her bros face. but now i am NEVER aloud over to the house?? WTF and my bf’s mom actually said it to him also but regretted it the next day (when she got a bit sober) and apologized, but my bf is rlly close to done bcuz she caused a lot of crap in the past b4 this dude.

srry for length but im rlly upset and need advice. i think we just need to move out and live our lives happily. i think my bfs mom will regret if my bf an i stay together and have children. shes not very educated and obv mean and i wont let her watch my kids or be very close, but dnt judge

i try and tell my mom how i feel when shes drunk and sober.. but she never seems to think i can have my own opinion its always my dad “brainwashing me” and no matter how much i cry or tell her or let her see how it is affecting me nothing gets her to even think about quiting not even that im not asking her to stop drinking im asking her to stop getting drunk every night of her life.. ive told her and so has my sister that she is ruining every chance she has to have a relationship with us.. she says she doesnt have a problem and that she just does it for the buzz.her mom was the same way and stopped when she was about 50.but im in depression at 13 because of it. im afraid for her life and she doesnt care she has told me that she is scared of life and its not what she wants it to be i told her that nothing ever is but it cant get any better unless you face it and try to help yourself My life is a living hell because of it iv had so many people tell me so but i dont know how to help it!!!

#1-Very independent, and a risk taker. Left his father’s when he was 15 and moved out on his own in a old apartment in a ghetto area and started working in a warehouse doing hard manual labour because his dad was an alcoholic and smoked crack and they always fought. His parents were abusive when he was younger and in his childhood he was never given affection so he doesn’t really know what that is, and doesn’t talk to any of them, and doesn’t have any other family. Grew up much too fast and cannot relate to people his own age, will try anything at least once and there’s nothing he will back away from. He doesn’t trust anyone and hasn’t ever been attached to anyone, doesn’t care too much about anyone in general and trusts nobody , other than the woman he eventually falls in love with; that will be the only person he becomes attached to in his life. He can often at times be very cynical but he is always respectful face to face. goes to night school and works 6 hours a day; he has many responsibilities.He is drug free, but has tried a few things once. 5’10 210lbs

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=Image014.jpg&newest=1

#2-School means alot to him. He’s got a very loving family and they mean alot to him. He’s very sensitive and soft hearted. He likes to read alot and learn, he’s very shy but sweet. Not the type that will try anything and at times is very dependent and relies on his mother. Often has a hard time sticking up for himself, but is learning slowly to get better. He likes to ride bikes and go hiking. For his age is still very innocent and hasn’t gone into the real world yet but is very curious to what it is really like. He is drug free and has never tries drugs before.He likes to have fun but is very afraid of breaking the law. He is good at drawing cartoons and likes to also draw in his spare time. He is an only child so his parents were always there for him. 6’1 125lbs.

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=n1324104575_44992_4418.jpg&newest=1

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=n1324104575_87478_7568.jpg&newest=1

reading the 2, which one would you rather date and why?

First guy turns 16 in a month, the second guy turns 18 in december. If your older or w.e you can put yourself back in that age or pretend they are older.

Both Guys are under 18. First guy turned 16 last week. Second guy turns 18 next December.
If your older or w.e you can put yourself back in that age or pretend they are older.

#1-Very independent, and a risk taker. Left his father’s when he was 15 and moved out on his own in a old apartment in a ghetto area and started working in a warehouse doing hard manual labour because his dad was an alcoholic and smoked crack and they always fought. His parents were abusive when he was younger and in his childhood he was never given affection so he doesn’t really know what that is, and doesn’t talk to any of them, and doesn’t have any other family. Grew up much too fast and cannot relate to people his own age, will try anything at least once and there’s nothing he will back away from. He doesn’t trust anyone and hasn’t ever been attached to anyone, doesn’t care too much about anyone in general, other than the woman he eventually falls in love with; that will be the only person he becomes attached to in his life. He can often at times be very cynical. goes to night school and works 6 hours a day; he has many responsibilities.He is drug free, but has tried a few things once. 5’10 210lbs

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=Image014.jpg&newest=1

#2-School means alot to him. He’s got a very loving family and they mean alot to him. He’s very sensitive and soft hearted. He likes to read alot and learn, he’s very shy but sweet. Not the type that will try anything and at times is very dependent and relies on his mother. Often has a hard time sticking up for himself, but is learning slowly to get better. He likes to ride bikes and go hiking. For his age is still very innocent and hasn’t gone into the real world yet but is very curious to what it is really like. He is drug free and has never tries drugs before.He likes to have fun but is very afraid of breaking the law. He is good at drawing cartoons and likes to also draw in his spare time. He is an only child so his parents were always there for him. 6’1 125lbs.

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=n1324104575_44992_4418.jpg&newest=1

http://s654.photobucket.com/albums/uu263/ToadB1993/?action=view&current=n1324104575_87478_7568.jpg&newest=1

reading the 2, which one would you rather date and why?

well lets see this may be a long one. i am 21 years old. i have a 14 year old brother who still lives with our mom in ohio. (im in tn). our mother is not a good mother at all. i will give you some examples of what she did to me when i was younger: lets see at the age of 15 i held a belt around my moms arm so she could shoot up god knows what. when i was around 16 she cut her wrist wiped her blood on me and said it was my fault. when i was 13 she let me and my friends smoke cigarettes. at 15 she let us smoke weed and drink alcohol. and at 17 we were smoking crack together(i’ve been clean for 2 years now) she has been in and out of jail/prison she has a few domestic violence’s a few dui’s and her most recent one from last year trafficking crack/cocaine. now out of all these charges my little brother has not been taken out of her home. i have a clean record me and my husband own our house. shes on “disability”. me and my husband both work. now for the question!

do u think i can get custody of him? if so how would i go about doing this? i don’t think i can afford an attorney! also ive asked my mother if he could move down here. and her answers always no! my brother wants to live down here!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!

also she is an alcoholic. and lets my 14yr old brother smoke and drink. its killing me the way hes growing up. hes cussing and shes already called the cops on him for domestic violence. she oushed him so he pushed her and she called the co[s. hes failing all his classes too!!!

I am 16 years old and I do not get along with my mother at all. I barely even speak to her at all and we live in the same house. If we do end up speaking to eachother we end up arguing. I just find it, very difficult to get along with her. I think that I am so angry with her because she used to be on drugs (marijuana,crack) and drank constantly. She is no longer on drugs (she does smoke marijuana though) and she still drinks alot more than she should. Most of the time she is drunk, so I do not want to even be around her 3/4′s of the time. When she isn’t drinking or smoking, I enjoy being around her though, she is a nice and funny person to be around when she’s sober. How do I try and have a better relationship with a person like her?!
I don’t usually go out that often because I have a little brother who is 7 years old and I like to make sure he is okay if she is not sober.

I have a panic disorder and a psychotic disorder. My mother is drinking herself to death and my father is going senile. I have a supportive by very pushy girlfriend. What can I do with my mother? She will not go into treatment and right now she’s laying in her chair drunk and vomiting. My father can do nothing but help as much as he can. My girlfriend is good to me but she pushes me to get off of my medication and pushes me into extremely uncomfortable situations in order to try to break my illness.
Right now I’m getting a cold and I am freaking out. I have no health insurance and my medication is running out. Please help me. I’d commit suicide if it weren’t for my girlfriend and my own fear of death.

The twist is that I’m 20, my grandparents adopted me and my real mother just moved out(she doesn’t drink but is very ill with depression). Now no one can take care of my while my adopted parents suffer. I just want to die, there’s no one I can turn to. I don’t know how to live a normal life like everyone else. please help me.

I’m almost 9 months pregnant by my boyfriend of 14 months. I have 2 other children by two different men. My boyfriend lives with me and my two kids. He was financially responsible for all of us until he got laid off several months ago. We really didn’t get a chance to get to know each other. Since we’ve been together we have broken at least 6 or more times. He once told me that we get along better as friends. Anyway, I found out through his family that he was originally in love with another young lady before he met me . They said he was crazy about her and that she brought out the best in him. I found hidden pictures of them together in his computer files. I must admit she is very beautiful. She kinda looks like a cross between Kim Kardashian and Cassie. (she’s mixed with black and arab). Long story short she dumped him because he wouldn’t get help for his alcoholism, which really crushed him. So I guess I was the rebound girl. Anyway, 7 months into our relationship I noticed he started not coming home, start arguments with me, and fixing himself up more. Then I broke into his email and found out that he started seeing his ex again!! He emails her love letters and tells her how much he misses her. But he told her he is confused because he doesn’t know if he should leave me for her or be obligated to stay with the mother of his child. I’m so hurt.

When I was 11 through 15, I had a sexual relationship with my mom (not step-mom but biological mom). The first time was after she had a breakdown because my dad cheated on her (again). Then it started to become whenever she got in one of her down spirals. If I said no, she’d be abusive to me (physically and verbally). If that didn’t make me crack, she’d go out and drink and bring home men (which she knows I don’t want her to do because she battled alcoholism when I was younger) until I do give in. Then around 13-14, it became virtually the only relationship I had with her (she began dating and so sex was all I was good for because she didn’t need someone to talk to). At 15, I slit my wrists and my dad took custody of me. I’m 17 now and I’ve been dating my first serious girlfriend. She asked me if I was a virgin and I told her no and tried to explain about my mother but she just thinks I’m some kind of pervert now. What can I do to explain it to her so that she understands I couldn’t help it? (She doesn’t believe that men can be sexually abused by a woman) Please help. Thanks.

My husband is currently locked up waiting for trial on a possession charge with intent to deliver. I know that sounds really bad, but before you judge him in this situation you have to know all the facts. He grew up with his mother being a crack head. She lost custody of him and his brother and sister while in jail because her husband was molesting them. They was adopted by his grandmother and lived with her for some years before she was released from jail and even entered back into his life. Some years later, his brother killed himself. That put a strain on the family. He turned to drugs around that point in life and has fought the addiction off and on since. His grandmother turned to drinking and she is an alcoholic to this day. The whole situation is crazy. My husband and I have had several misunderstandings and conflict in our marriage due to his addictions. In fact if he hadn’t have gotten locked up, we probably would be headed for divorce. I went to see my husband last week. He is feeling real down about things, and has convinced himself I am going to leave him. But I don’t want to do what everyone else in his life has done. He needs help and when I went to see him he told me that. He has been through a lot of things in the time I have known him. I have never seen him cry about anything. The whole last fifteen minutes of visitation, he was crying saying he was tired. He says he is tired of doing drugs. Tired of what he has become. Tired of how he has treated me and he apologized a million times for that. He says he wants help. He doesn’t want them to let him go without getting him some help. He says he will do anything to make us work. He says he will stay away from all of his old friends. He says he don’t need friends, he needs me. He knows he can’t hang out with them and not be tempted to pop pills or smoke weed. Now my question, I guess, is about what should I expect him to do with his relationship with his mother. She is still a druggy. She hangs out with all of his druggy friends like she is young. So I really don’t want him to hang around with his own mom. I would have to worry every time that he is over his mom’s house that he is going to go down that road again. What can I do with this situation? Would I be wrong for saying he does not need to be hanging out at his mom’s house? I can tell him with no problems it is either his friends or me. I can’t deal this situation any more, but I for some reason can’t bring myself to address the issue of what kind of relationship he is going to have with his mother. Any suggestions?

Do you still talk to your mother? If not, why? My mom and I have not talked in ages. She was a drug addict and was in and out of rehab every 2 months and I never had a great relationship with her. I feel really guilty for not caring about her or talking to her. I want to communicate with her again, but I still have not forgiven her for everything she did through out my life. Thanks!

And the first 2 questions were questions I want you to answer.

-Riley O.

I am adult. For the past 10 years or so after my parents divorced, she been involved with a man who came with A LOT trouble. He’s didn’t have a place to live, so she allowed him to move in with her. Couple years later he loses his job, was fired, for failing drug tests several times.
He wont get a job….she supports him financially 100%. Hes a grown man but yet is not responsble for anything in his life. He appears to be a alcoholic and a drug user has been in and out of rehab several times.
Even his family smooches off her and has been known to steal from my mother. Lastly, he dissapears days at a time getting high and then she allows him to come back home where he sleeps it off.
Because of this, I feel i cannot respect my mother nor do i want to be that involved with her because of him.

Everyone in my family has spoken to her about him. She is AWARE of all the trouble he’s been in. yet it doesnt seem to bother her in the least!!!

What do I do?

My 21 year old daughter just called off her October 2007 wedding to a nice, clean cut young man who she had been with for more than two years. Good call if she was unhappy. Unfortunately, she just told me that she is now dating a 20 year old guy that was in rehab in March for heroin addiction after an overdose. He is also facing criminal charges (not sure if from same incident or another). She says “everyone makes mistakes, and he is ‘clean’”. However, she revealed that they drink alcohol together. I know about cross addictions, if using alcohol, NOT CLEAN! Also, she could be arrested for contributing since he is not 21 and she is. Also, he told her he stole from his friends and family to feed his addiction. When her dad and I tried to talk to her calmly she became very defensive and refused to hear anything we have to say. I am very concerned about her. More pertinent information, I am actually her step-mom; her estranged mother died in May of this year – alcohol related heart attack

My mom is being physically and emotionally abused. This has been going on for quite some time. I always feel helpless because I can’t make her leave him. Today I expressed that to her, I said that I don’t understand what she’s doing, why she wouldn’t leave. Well she opened up to me and it turns out that supposedly she is addicted to methadone that her abuser has been giving her. It is prescribed to him but he gives it to her, this is obviously his way of getting her to stay by getting her addicted to this shit. So my mom said that she needs help- w/ addiction & overall mental help before she leaves. She scared that if she leaves her mental health will be even worse- which is understandable because physiological addiction can be both mentally and physically dangerous if stopping cold turkey.
So I’m wondering what I can do as far as referring her to the necessary people who can help her. She or myself cannot afford rehab. What to do! ? we live in California. btw, I’m over 18 and out of the house

I am so stressed it’s not funny. I live with my grandparents and they are thinking about divorcing. My mother is addicted to crack and has hit rock bottom ( again ). I am worried about my diabetic 11 year old sister and Chronic Ahsmaic and C.O.P.D 6 year old brother and Brain Damaged 4 year old brother who lives with her. Plus, one of my Best friends is moving and we had a fight because I am too stressed to care or notice. Then on top of it I am trying to make a long distance relationship work. I want a normal life and to be honest with my friends. I want to stop living a lie, basically. How do I do, just stop it all?
I am 13.5 not much I can do to get away
I run cross country and is a health nut… Plus trying to rid myself of O.C.D

In the past year he has had 6 car accidents, 3 totaled, a stay in detox, is not working and now abuses prescription meds as well. She continues to cover for him and is untruthful when asked. I would like to remove myself from the relationship, but am feeling guilty.

I NEED HELP ON WHAT TO DO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

Mom has always been addicted to ecstasy. This addiction is really beginning to erode our relationship. My family and I are vaccillating between being frozen in fear and fearing the consequences. How can I help fix this personal problem? I live close to Glassboro, New Jersey.

Any help would go a long way to help.