We will help you get your mom off drugs!

What happened to make you think “This is it. I’m gone.” ?
Did you have a plan?
What was it like at first?
Did you have children at the time?
I ask because I’m at a heartbreaking time in my relationship of 6 years (we lived together for 2 years before getting married 4 years ago). My husband can be a wonderful man but is spiraling into alcoholism. He’s up to 1/2 a bottle of vodka or more a day. The fighting is getting worse and nastier. He sometimes throws and kicks objects, he began getting in my face. It progressed to him shoving me and grabbing my arm if I tried to walk away, and peaked when he jabbed me in the chest with his fingers hard enough to knock me onto the bed. My chest was sore for days afterward, and later when things calmed down, I very calmly told him I would go to his commander if he ever touched me again (he hasn’t done any physical stuff). He doesn’t want us to go to counseling (he gets upset if I go alone as well). We have 2 very young children, ages 3 years old and 7 months old. I am a stay at home mother, so leaving terrifies me because I have only a high school education, but I’m not sure we can continue to live this way.
How did you know when to say NO MORE, and leave? OR did you stay and did things get better?

I was just a young mother-to-be when I caught my mother kissing my husband. I was so young, scared and intimidated that I detached from what I had seen; I later found out that they had been having a full on affair ( while I was pregnant and then for a few years ) My mother has never apologized. Our family has been literally fractured. I realize that my mother and my (now)ex husband are sex addicts that were attracted in their addiction . People cross unimaginable boundaries looking for “love” and attention. It has taken so many years and much therapy to overcome the depression, get the anger out, deal with the aftermath of this and let go of my bitterness. I am a stronger woman than I probably ever would have been, but have always had trust issues.I am calloused for life.
I wonder if this has ever happened to anyone else ? sometimes I feel very alone with this betrayal of my own mother. All I can say is that this thing , regardless of therapy/ time, has ruined an entire family.

I live near my mother so I tend to see her on an everyday basis. I’m also in the process of purchasing my first washer/dryer so I’ve been using hers at her house.

We have always had an “okay” relationship. She is a recovering drug addict and still very much “selfish.” I try to talk to her and ask her to do things with us, but she just looks at me like I’m crazy and starts watching t.v. She’s very very dominant and aggressive. If I did something when I was a teenager, say leave the door unlocked when I left she’ll ALWAYS remember and never let it go and always think I’ll do it again so I’m constantly being *itched at by her about things I’ve done and how I have to make sure I dont do them again.

I feel that I’m trying to gain her acceptance but she just doesn’t care much about how I feel. Earlier I was at her house cleaning up some for her, and I lit her candles to make the house smell a little fresh and forgot to take her lighter back to her and she came into the room and started cursing at me saying, where’s my *ucking lighter, i can’t ever keep a *ucking lighter, get your own GD lighter. It really hurt my feelings…..especially b/c I’m the only one of her kids she’ll treat this way. She would never talk to my brothers this way and….I dunno

She has been 3 years sober from drugs, but has a gambling problem and if we bring that up in any type of way she’ll flip her lid, although she goes to the casino almost everyday and can spend up to 60 dollars if not more at a time and it’s really starting to “hurt” my stepdads funds…What can I do to help my relationship with my mom? She and I are just so different I don’t know how to mend our relationship. Sorry if this is kinda long

very religious and is usually 95 almost 100 percent right. I dated my ex for almost 2 years she lied, played games, and cheated on me several times she only admitted to one of about 10 things I know about which was the cheating on me that she covered up almost a year. The lies are very dangerous ones about a couple people that she says raped her but they really did’nt. When she met my mom she couldnt look her in the eyes and my mom suspects that she is a drug addict. to make a long story short my ex admitted that she use to have connections and when I confronted her about our problems she never answered me. Its been a few months and I still feel a little hurt and my mom always says thank God she didnt get us killed she is a dangerous tramp that im gonna read about. from what I mentioned I want to know what yall think

Me and my mom know nothing about each other. when i was just a month old she was sent to a mental hospital when i started elementary school she came back home she also started working so i barely saw her.she would leave before i was gone and would not be hope until 10 and i would be sleeping by that time when she was not working she went to bingo so i would barely see her.when i was in the 7th grade she stopped working then she started to drink she would hit me and have arguments with me and she still does i currently in the 11th grade. sometimes i wish she was not my mother. what should i do ?

This is a fictitious scenario.

A guy dated a girl, a mother of a year old kid, whom he met online.

They had a week or less of good time together; where they hanged out, went to movies, restaurants, bars, etc.
The guy always tried to make her feel special.

The girl seemed cool at first but later the guy discovered that she hanged out with wrong people.
She drank heavily and regularly behind his back.
It was found out later that she even engaged in drugs.

When the guy tried to express his disapproval regarding her associations and her habit, the guy in turn got verbally abused by the girl. the relation thus turned sour.

shortly afterward they stopped talking. In other words, they broke off.

However the girl tried to keep the relationship saying she was pregnant.
The guy had initially asked the girl if she was in birth control and the girl was affirmative.
So the guy felt cheated yet doubtful.
He didnot want to do anything with her as he broke off. since it was about a week or two, he suggests her to drop off. the girls replied him saying that was against her moral or principle.
The guy clearly didnot want to do anything with her.

After four months had passed, the guy got call them her. She told him that she was in a rehab, recovering from alcoholism.
She also told the guy that she got rid of the pregnancy. The guy was still skeptical about the whole matter.

The girl lost the even custody of her child due to her habit.
The guy felt sorry for the girl and told the girl that he was happy that she was recovering.

The girl then called the guy frequently despite the guy not calling her.

The girl asked the guy if they could be together again, and she said that she was sorry for everything she said in the past, all the hateful words while she was drunk. She said she was changed now.

The guy is divided, still doubtful.
The guy doesn’t want to complicate his life. While at the same time, he feels sorry for her.

so what should the guy do in this situation.

Should the guy forgive her?

or should the guy assume that what she said before was what was in here heart, and hence move on????

So, this is going to be lengthy, so I will try to keep it concise.

My Husbands mom is crazy. She has had numerous health problems which have rendered her a drug addict (prescription drugs). She is “high” all of the time and has difficulty maintaining a normal life. She struggles with keeping the home, basic personal hygiene, healthy relationships with others etc.

She is verbally abusive toward her husband and children (including my husband). And has been physically abusive in the past ( I have not witnessed it, but have heard stories from enough first hand witnesses so I know it’s true).

Lately I have really been questioning whether or not she is a good person to have in our lives. This became especially apparent last week when she took her youngest daughter and her new granddaughter out to dinner. They ended up getting drunk of margaritas and then drove home…with the baby in the car. I was just appalled!!!!! I find those kind of actions childish, immature, dangerous and just plain STUPID!!!!

Furthermore, my husband and I have a 4 year old son. He has called his Nana 2 times in the last month or so, and has not received a return phone call yet. I mean seriously, how hard is it to pick up the phone and place a call?!?!?!?

‘m stuck at this place of confusion because I want to do what is best for myself and my son ( I would never ask my hubby to not have a relationship with his mother). Does God want me to keep being kind to her and loving her or is it OK to not speak to someone who is like her???

P.S. This woman is 45 years old- so don’t be picturing the frail geriatric type.

Or perhaps its a father-son relationship issue. Any articles, studies, or sites delving into this would be greatly appreciated.

Or perhaps its a father-son relationship issue. Any articles, studies, or sites delving into this would be greatly appreciated.

I want to show her how i feel about it

I have been with the same guy for a little over 4 years. We live together, and we have a child together. I am, by far, not saying I am perfect. I tend to get grumpy at times, and I have a bad temper. But I have always been faithful, I do not lie to him, and I do everything in my power to keep him happy. As far as I know, he has never cheated on me, although there have been times where I have wondered. Here is my question:
I can be a moody person, but there are times when he is down right MEAN. He says really mean things, not only to me, but to my daughter. (This is not the child I have with him. This is my older daughter (6), who he got along great with when we first got together until we had out son 2 years ago. Then he totally changed his attitude towards her.)
He tries to pick fights with me, by saying things like I don’t do anything around the house (which I do my best at. Since July I have had 2 surgeries to fix problems that were causing me severe pain.), that I contribute nothing to our household because I do not work, (I am a stay at home mom of 2).
I do not think he has ever actually cheated, but I once found where he had been looking up only girls of a certain age and that were single, in the town he worked in, on Myspace. (He said he was looking for people he worked with.)
He tells me all the time that I should move out, or go find another guy. He will say he does not care if I leave, but he gets to keep our son. Then he will say that he just says that, he does not mean it, its just to make me mad.
He refuses to talk about any relationship problems. If I try, he will change the subject, or just ignore me.
Even though I am the one who stays home with our son all the time, and I have to be the one to punish him because he will not, he calls me a bad mother. He tells our son “Mommy doesn’t love you” and “Mommys mean to you”, all the time, especially when I do have to punish him. He tells our son to hit, kick and bite me.
Tonight is the 2nd night in less than 2 months where he has gone to a friends house and not come home. I get no phone call or anything.
The money he makes is HIS. If I need anything at all, I have to beg for it, and he usually will not give me any. I have to get money from my grandmother or my mother if there is anything I need. He says since he is the only one that works, it is only his money, and I have no say in how it is spent or what it is spent on.
He always yells at me for not working, but any time I have tried he will say “What? You want to leave our baby?”
I have to ask permission to use our car (which I helped buy, but it is in his name), and he watches the mileage and barely lets me use it, even for important things. I have to get rides from other people most of the time.
Three years ago, he gave me an engagement ring. A year ago I took it off after a bad fight about his drinking and I left for a few days. He has not tried to give it back to me, and he says he does not ever want to get married, when before he said he did. If I try to bring it up, he says “Why would I marry YOU?”
Like I said, I am not perfect. I do get upset about things, and I do yell when I am mad. But that is usually because of things he says to me and my daughter. I do get after him about drinking, because he gets really mean when he drinks, and he has alcoholism in his family. I have it really bad in mine, and I told him right from the start that I was NOT going to have my children growning up around alcohol. Because of this, he says that I am no fun and I just am trying to ruin his fun.
Should I just call it quits with him? I am looking for advice, because I have no one else really to ask. My family, who used to think he was great, do not like him that much anymore. He talks bad to me in front of them, and they do not like the way he acts about money and the car. Even members of his own family say he is too mean, and they do not understand why I stay with him.
Really, no mean comments. I am just looking for advice.

I know that this may sound selfish and I should know better at 48 but when I met this woman a year ago, we totally fell for each other and then came the 10 yr old daughter. I know enough about how difficult this is and it’s the whole package or none, but it’s very difficult. You can’t be the father and it’s hard to discipline someone else child. It frustrates me because this child is literally disconnected from the world in front of a TV like no one I have ever seen and so addicted to it. She constantly is making a pig pin out of my house when they spend weekends with me. Stays up til 1-2 in the morning interrupting any alone time I have with her mother, and everything revolves around her. Yes she’s a kid and only 10, but give me a break, how do you get past all that. I’m always biting my tongue and wish I could straighten her out once and for all but I’m not her dad. I love her mother but I’m afraid this will be the thing that could destroy our relationship. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
She is a sweet and outgoing child and I know she loves me, but what do I do?

Please read below:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjbBVk3mmqDubYLq6e57kWLsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090918032638AANrI1e

Some people seem to think I should still talk to him. That’s not happening. He chose to hit my mother, he chose to get drunk and abuse her, he chose to kick her down the stairs when she was 8 months pregnant with my baby brother. I never want anything to do with him. Would you, if you were me? I highly doubt it.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5months, shes 19 and im 20. Before we met we both where alone for along time a year tops. She told me that she just didnt have any friends, she didnt like to go out and party and she doesnt like social gatherings as much, but she does enjoy school, and music and art. For me I hated social gatherings, and I hate to party, and I disagree with school completly. We both see social gatherings as a group of people who label themselves, and its sad you will see it anywhere we both see and agree that people hide themselves from others and project images of themselves of who they are not and we both are inspiried musicians wanting to write music together, but dont have the discipline to do so.
On the other hand im a really laid back person, if you can get me mad at you and make me show it then kudos to you, and my girlfriend is a very unpatient person but with a really deep soul. She has had her very very bad times when she was younger abusive stepmother drug addicted mom, and a dad who didnt care for her at a certain period of time, she has had a rough past. There are times when she will be impatient with me and I just cant take it anymore and I just stop talking and she acts like nothing happened like she didnt do anything wrong, so I just stay silent for a while and let it brush off. We hang out alot because she has no friends and when im not doing anything she wants me to come over….so we are getting cabin fever but all it takes is a couple hours away from each other then we are back to normal for a few more hours then it goes back to the cabin fever. We know that this is the issue and its not going to ruin us. I just dont know what to do with her sometimes.
Im not going to break up with her, because there is no reason to. She is exactly who I was looking for at a deep level, I dont care if the person likes the same bands as me or if they like the same foods as me or movies. I care if the person thinks like me about things on a deep level.

I am a 16 year old indian/hindu boy. Both of my parents have raised me pretty well, i do well in school and strive to do my best. However, i had my first girlfriend this year and she was half black and half white. I didnt orignally tell my mom about this and one night she found out that i was hanging out with her alone. We were just walking around doing nothing, i hadnt even had my first kiss with her. My mother came home and went ballistic on me, telling me that she hates all american girls and everything and i can never see her again and says that she lost trust in me and everything. I break up with her a couple weeks later and everything is over, i havent told my mom because my mom just thinks she was my friend. i havent talked to her for about over a month. Now my mom is always doubting me and thinks i smoke and drink, but i havent even touched a cigarette or beer and i know i wont do it. She is just too overprotective. My big brother is probably the biggest asshole ever, he records every conversation i have online and tells me im up to no good and puts so much pressure on me, and i usually crack under pressure. I have a feeling that all summer has passed and i have done absolutely nothing. I havent gone on a vacation in 3 years because its hard for my family, but even with that my mom wont let me even hang out with my friends anymore. She always thinks im seeing my ex girlfriend and i havent even seen her over a month, and i always tell my mom that but she doesnt believe me. She checks all my phone calls but i am innocent. I havent done anything wrong. Yesterday i made a mistake while driving and took the wrong exit while my mom was sitting next to me and she went crazy telling me that i have been distracted by something lately, which im really not distracted at all. Actaully, i think i may be going mentally insane, because being locked up in the house all day is just torture. I want to go play soccer with my friends but i cant even do that. I cant even be on the computer when my mom or my brother are home because they always assume that i am talking to people online when im really not. They think im corrupt but i havent done anything yet, i know my brother started drinking and has smoked during high school and i tell my mom that but she tells me that im lying and she completely trusts my brother and doesnt trust me. I just feel like crying all day and my personality has even changed a lot this summer. I feel like such a nerd sitting at home doing nothing all day, not allowed to talk to anyone and hang out with anyone. My mom hates girls and hates it when i talk to them. I dont even talk dirty or anything, just causal conversation. My best friend is a girl and she forbids me to see her, i think my mother is way overprotective about nothing. I am completely innocent and havent done anyhting at all and im being punished. I have even considered committing suicide and even though it sounds crazy, i feel like it would let me be free or just run away from home. My dad’s really nice though, hes the nicest guy ever to me. He let’s me do anyhting and i know im responsible enough that i wont do anything stupid or wont have sex. He wants me to be free and not be stressed out and even encourages me to hang out with my friends and all but my mom wont let me…Why is my life like this? Does anyone have any solution, please help me?? I am crying as i write this and its really getting to me, i am going mentally insane….

my parents divorced dad alcoholic mom (i found her pot) and ever since that even though we talked about it and fixed the broken bridges i just dont even want to give her the time of day and i just cant figure how to make things beter like we barly even talk and the more she leaves me alone the happier i am but she just doesnt get it and like we fight almost twice a week (which somethimes i like b/c we actually get some where and lose some frustration) but i really just want some 1 to talk to but i dont even think i can trust her b/c she tells her friends and then they make fun of me about it and i think she thinks that the more stuff she buys me the less unhappy i will be and then she holds it over my head like i just bought u that new coach purse and u wount even talk to me but its just like i have no energy or ne purpse to open my mouth and tell her about my day when she asks me and if i do its all yes and no answers so plz help me
oh yeah im 13
cant move in with dad hes a danger to himself

My father beat up my mother when I was younger, from 1991-1994. She and I left one day when I was 4, when he was at work, we abandoned the house. He was a pathetic drunk, and wife-beater.

Several months ago, he tracked us down, saying he was sorry, and wanted to be in our lives. He even said he wanted to start seeing my mom again. She was granted an annulment many years ago, but he said he wanted to start again.

No way am I ever having anything to do with him. Just wondering, would you?

please read this whole long ass book before answering (i know)

first off my gf and i live together and need each other financialy so i can’t just cut her loose today, and i do love her.

BUT

when we got together she lied about all kinds of stuff for no real reason i can understand. she finally admited to several of the lies after i cornered her repeatedly so i KNOW she lies.

she told me she had friendships with famous people in the past that turned out to be fantasy. she also lied about her sexual history; telling me she had been celibate fot 14 years when in reality she slept with someone only weeks before me.

she also told me things that can’t be proved as lies but SOUND like BULLSHIT. my favorite is that she thinks she made a lighter explode by focusing her anger on it, or how about when she was at a record store and found an envelope containing: $250, weed, cocaine, acid and CRACK! or the time she stole and smoked weed laced with PCP from evidence at the prison where her mother worked and everytime someone touched her she had a massive full body orgasm. there are tons more where those came from.

all that was fine i let her have her fantasies. then…

she told me she had been raped 4 times. 4 seperate times as an adult. 4 different guys. that is extraordinary and i know she lies so ahhhhhhhh!

she told me the rape stories. the stories play over and over in my head almost contantly every day for the last 9 months. this has literaly RUINED MY LIFE on the most fundamental level because i don’t have my own mind anymore.

i want to think she is lying. i’m sure she is on some level, but then maybe it’s true. maybe it’s not 4 times. maybe one story is true and another is a lie. my head won’t stop trying to figure out if she lied about rape too. it is complete mental torture. everytime the stories come into my head (several times a day) i try to figure out if they are true (as if i can ever know after all the lies).

i am so angry. i want to find and hurt the men who did this (she supposedly knows who they are but doesn’t want me to do anything). then i think “what if i hurt an innocent person based on a lie my GF told me?”.

what’s ****** up about it is she’s a SWEET and KIND girl. everone has an “awe schucks” reaction to her. no one would imagine what i liar she is. it would be so much easier if i didn’t love everything else about her. she’s never lied to me about money and i think i trust her not to cheat. i could deal with some of the lies but with the rape stories added to it i’ve lost it. i think i’m going insane because of this.

I’m a recovering meth addict, but my kids dad just can’t kick it. He’s been in and out of prison, and now he just got released and already using. He isn’t even concerned with being sent to prison becouse his P.O. told him he’ll just have to go to a Soberliving home. I’m trying to stand by him but with disappearences and when he does show up I really don’t want my son to see him. He says that he wants to stop but I don’t see that happening. He beg’s me NOT to leave him, that I’m the only good he has in his life. But yet he rather still get high. To be very sincere, I don’t want to leave becouse then I know I’ll always wonder what if? So if there’s any recoved drug addicts that do have a success story please let me know. I know that as drug addicts everyday is just one more day that we have again been able to say no, but I know that there’s days when we can’t. And that I understand, but I don’t understand him anymore. He’s just doing it because he has money, or he got mad it his mom.

Dad
Mom (alcohol and insecure type problems)
Dad gives his daughter a really special (and expensive probably) gift for her birthday..
Mom freaks out and accuses the daughter of really vulgar things.
Dad defends daughter, gives her back gift, tells wife she’s drunk and pathetic, etc…

???