We will help you get your mom off drugs!

I lived with my mom up until I was 13 in Hemet and i moved away from her because she was unfit and moved to LA with my grandparents and at the time my dad was a drug addict. So I was alone until I was 14 then i moved back with my mom in hopes she CHANGED but sadly she didn’t. I’m on summer vacation and visiting my grandparents. My dad is now living with my grandparents temporarily. I end up falling in love while in LA with a boy who doesn’t live far from my grandparents. Should I stay in La? or go back to Hemet? I told everyone that I was going back but I secretly want to stay. If i go back to my mom I know what’s going to happen but she needs me, more than I need her. You see, its never been about me. When I lived with my grandparents they ALWAYS took great care of me and never hit me or shouted at me. My mom is a drunk…but she needs help. I’m only 15. Sometimes I feel like the parent. Should I be selfish or selfless? what do i Do!?

we fight constantly, she screams n cusses at me for no reason all the time, and she gave our rent money to my drug addict “father” so we also have received 2 eviction notices. the last one was a final notice telling us to b gone by the end of november. she somehow talked our landlord into letting us stay a little longer but i would like to move out now. if i have a safe place to go can she stop me from leaving?

I know this is quite long, but I really need help.

I am almost 14.

My dad and I have never had a very good relationship. He’s an insane alcoholic and a heavy smoker. He has multiple diseases such as amyloidosis, cryoglobulinemia, auto-immune diseases, and deficiencies such as low platelets. I don’t believe that this has any relevance, but he does. My mom and him hide his alcoholism from the doctors and insurance agencies, and I’m sure that my parents hide a lot from my sister and I. He is on a lot of medication which makes him extremely slow and I believe it has lowered his IQ.

My dad and I fight a lot. I’ve thrown up before because he makes me so sick. Some of the things that he says to me makes me extremely depressed and dispirited thoughts have resulted from this.

He calls me a b*tch almost every day.
He’s told me to go f*ck myself multiple times.
He’s slapped me before (definitley not often or in the face, plus he’s so weak that I barely felt it)
He’s told me that I’m never going to find a man and that I will die alone.
He told me that he wishes that I’d jump in front of a highway (implying that he wishes I would die?)
He tells my 15 year old sister that he wishes she’d move out when she turns 16.
He’s even told me that he’s hated me before.

If these are supposed to be jokes to him, I don’t get them.

My sister has the same view as me on my dad, but personalities clash more with my dad and I rather than my dad and my sister. My dad and I fight more than they do. The differences are that she has friends that can drive. She’s popular in her grade so she’s always welcome somewhere. I have enough friends, but I don’t want to be a burden on my best friend. She’s my only friend that I feel comfortable discussing this with. She has chrons disease and isn’t doing very well, so I feel like I shouldn’t be calling her when I need this help.

I am a very studious student and I appreciate my sleep. My dad is asleep and awake at bizarre times. When I come home from school, he is usually passed out on the sofa. He sleeps all day, and he is up all night. He makes his dinner around 12:00 in the morning, waking up the entire house in the process. I am a very light sleeper, so whenever he comes in from the garage where he spends most of his life, I can hear him. This happens every single night; including school nights.

I’m sure that I’ve made my dad sound bad, which I think he is. I freak out on him a lot. The worst I’ve told him was that I’ve hated him, which I’m not especially proud of. I’ve asked my mother to make a therapist appointment for months now, and she says that she’ll get to it, but she’s just so busy with her job that she can never remember.

My mom; I love her to death. My parents have been divorced since before I was born. My dad lived in Tulsa for a long time, then moved back in with my mom, my older sister, and I when I was young. I’ve recently asked my mom why she let him back in, and she told me that she was afraid that he would kill her if she didn’t. My dad was about to move out before he got sick, and after that, my mom felt a little sorry for my old, sick father and she just couldn’t kick him out.

When I fight with my dad, my mom tells me to get out of the house, but my dad never wants me to leave, which I don’t understand. I usually try to walk to my best friends house down the street and vent to her, but that doesn’t fix much, besides getting away for a few hours.

I remember years ago, my mom took my sister and I to a nearby hotel so we could escape from my dad. I remember how he would try to lock us all in the house so we couldn’t leave, but we finally got out of the house and stayed at the hotel, and it was a school night. This has happened a few times before.

I just want him out. I can’t live with him for the remainder of my life in this household. I could care less where he goes, as long as he’s no longer apart of my life. I’ve had sucidial thoughts. I’m not an attention seeker; my dad makes me feel lesser than my potential.

This, is just so little of what my dad is. I feel like I’ve written enough already, but I just don’t know what to do anymore. How do I get him to leave? Should I call social services?

my mom is in home care hospice ta home with me thee are nurses here 24-7 she may go at any time now – my question is this -

should i stay in the same building and get a 1 bd room when she does pass — this is a not very nice section 8 building in a downtown area – it would be hard to budget it out every month but it could be done – i am on disability for severe migraines and only get 600 a month rent would be 150 or a tiny bit less -

i have a sister and father who also live in the same building
they are both very screwed up he is 78 is a manic depressive that doesnt take any meds for it and is also a compulsive gambler she is 47 and is a very bad drug addict that uses about 100 dollars worth of drugs every day with her one friend that buys it all

i have no real great prospects here but at least i would have my own place and not be at any ones mercy and under their rules and their roof i am 32 and single no children never married

the other choice is to go and live with
my mosm friend who sounds like a control freak and is very tight she wants me to help take care of her grand daughter and then ride a bike every where is very wealthy but doesnt want to help me get a cheap used car or anything at all and i mean anything at all .. she sounds like a night mare should i go live with her in order to get out of here downtown – or just stay put ? she lives 2 hours away and if i go and stay with her i probably would just be stuck there – i am afraid of that very much so -
i am afraid of being at her mercy please help me and thank you
thank you all so much i really value your input – it has helped me to clear my thoughts and to think more clearly

i think i will stay here and get a smaller apt in the same building i am now in

i cant find direct answers anywhere. i know, it’ll be a long hard descision to make… ive got a year to think about it. my parents aren’t abusing, but my mom is addicted to prescription pills and it’s killing her and my dad is a marijunan addict. it sounds lame, but im really against drugs. if i can, id move out of state to sc and live with my boyfriend (his mother has already okayed it knowing my circumstance) but my question is…is it legal?

The History: She is addicted to hard drugs, meth actually. She lived with us once before. When she did her druggie friends robbed us of our rent money (and some irreplaceable possessions) and the end result was we were evicted from our apartment. She hasn’t had a job in years and has consistently involved her self with “irreputable characters”.

The Situation: She’s been in jail for the last 5 months on drug charges. They released her yesterday and she’ll be on probation for the next 6 years. She has no home, no money, no where ( that I know of ) to go. My husband is her oldest son, therefore he feels obligated to take care of her. She’s 40, he’s 23. I have said that if he feels the need to take her in again, I can’t stop him, that’s his mother. As far as her drug use she has been clean since she’s been in jail, and apparently found Jesus too. I don’t trust that she’s changed quite yet, but I do believe in 2nd chances (although this is really her 13th chance).

The Conflict: I have said that I will be staying with friends until she finds another living situation. Is that fair to my husband? Is this standing up for myself, or am I making the situation worse? I NEED HELP!!!

Thanks all for your responses and advice.

I’ve lived with my grandma forever because when I was about four my mom (who had me when she was 17) developed a drug addiction. She went to rehab and ended up having another baby with my step-dad when I was 11 years old. I’m told that she tried to get me and my two younger siblings back, but by then my grandma considered herself our mother and refused to let my mom take us. When I was 12 we started visiting my mom every other weekend, and one night she told me that when I was 14 I could legally decide who I wanted to live with. Since then I’ve been dreaming about moving in with my mom. I counted the days until I turned 14, and on my 14th birthday I said I’d say something when I turned 15, and when I was 15 I said 16, and when I was 16 I was going to tell my grandma that I wanted to spend my last year of high school with my mom. That didn’t happen either. Now I’m graduated, not making plans to go to college but not completely dumping the idea, and so ready to get out of my grandma’s house. My younger sister, who also lived with my grandma, recently moved in with our dad. I want to know how to tell my grandma that I want to move out with making her feel like she’s being abandoned.

okay so my mother is a alcoholic and has always been. i have to live iwth her 2 more years before college because im going to be a junior. but it her drinking just gotton worse over these years. i am so unhappy i cant explain how much. i am 17, so in 8 months i can move out, but if i do, she threatens to not pay for my college. SO i was thinking about only going to college for 2 years and getting my associate degree in either being a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer who make 45K a year or a fashion designer. BUT i do NOT WANT TO BE A medical sonographer that much. but 2 years means only 2 loans i guess. i know that fashion designers make less, but it would make me happy. i dont know what to do please give me some advice and please tell me how much time loans take to pay off.
i hate my mother and i cant explain why theres so many reasons just please answer

My mother was born to an alcoholic abusive father and a codependent mother whose first child died as an infant three years before from Scarlet Fever. She felt unwanted and somehow responsible. Father could not keep job because of alcoholism and the family lived in poverty. She was deprived of basic needs as a child: Her mother confided in her as a friend and told her of her marital problems. She had no control over her environment. She was made to sleep in a baby crib until she was ten yrs. old. She was promised a bicycle, a toy, a pet, etc. every day by her father, but never received one. Father drank away all money. Her mother sent her into the local taverns to look for her father and bring him home. Her father left the family when she was 14 yrs. old and returned when she was 19 She developed into a beautiful woman with very large breasts which she hated. Family suspected her father of sexual abuse, but no action ws taken. She developed eating disorders. She married a man (my father) she didn’t love at age 22. Had botched breast reduction surgery & had all teeth extracted at approx. age 23-25. I was born when she was 29. My sister was born 9 years later. We both feel that she was, and continues to be, an extremely overbearing, controlling and emotionally abusive. parent. At age 82, she is severely depressed, verbally and emmotionally abusive, distrusting & domineering with fits of raging anger. She denies all aspects of her negative personality and blames others, primarily her children and ex-husband (my father left our family after 22 years of marriage), for personal strife, but idolizes parents, especially her mother and feels their parenting had no ill effects.

I am 52 years old and am trying to gain perspective and get closure so that I can move on with my life, but I am blocked. I know that I should just “let go and move on”, but I feel I need more understanding. Can someone shed light and help?

Alright, so this is going to be very long, because it’s very serious. From the title of the question, you’re probably very confused. So, I really want to move in with my best friend. I have known her my entire life, we met as just infants & have been extremely close ever since. Well, she lives in a town about 20 minutes away, and I would like to move in with her because I’m having lots of really bad problems in my own house. I’m bipolar, I was diagnosed at age 7. My sister is addicted to drugs and is in fact in jail right now, not getting out until April 7th. She has a personality disorder (Borderline) and this has been going on for many years, so I highly doubt there’s any hope (as terrible as that sounds.) Plus, my dad is a violent alcoholic. My mom has yet to leave him, and this has gone on their entire marriage. I’m really sick of being afraid to sleep in my own home. I have also self harmed for the past year or so, and sometimes I don’t eat. I’m really tired of this and I just need a break. I only want to live with her for my 8th grade year, and I would visit my mother every weekend and all school breaks & stuff. I’m only 13, and I want to get good grades because I have lots of plans for my future, but I’m afraid if I continue to live in this house that won’t happen. I’m too distracted & scared. I asked my mother very bluntly, and she said, “I know it’s not fair for you to have to go through all of this, but I’m not letting anyone else raise my kid.” How can I get her to take everything into consideration? By the way, she doesn’t know I cut myself.. Please help, and thank you so much for reading this. <3
To the 4th answer; If I don’t go ahead & make a move, I’m never getting out of here. I’ve told her time & time again I am sick and tired of being afraid of my own dad. He’s tried to kill her. She still hasn’t left. I’m done with him. It’s been 13 years of fear. I was depressed when I was 7 (clinically.) I recently faced she’s afraid to leave & there’s nothing I can do about that.

I have a job,but no place to live since my mom moved while I was in rehab. I have to take many aftercare classes at night, check in w/probation, go to court, check in w/ judge, my boss is ok w/ it so far, I can’t afford to live in dallas on 10 bucks an hour. I need to move to east texas where my mom is. She is willing to help me.

I would like to accept a very promising job offer, however it is in Wisconsin, and I live in California. I have a five year old son who does have a relationship with his father, however, I am very worried that his father’s alcoholism is going to have a negative affect in the future. We don’t have any custody agreement in place, and my son has been in my care since he was born with and has had arranged visitiations with his father. His father doesn’t have his own place, he lives with his mother, and smokes a lot of pot, and of course drinks a lot. If I tell him I’m moving, and he doens’t like it, what can he do to keep me here, and can I use his drinking and other habits to fight for full physical and legal custody? I don’t want to start a big fight, but I’m not sure how he is going to react to my news? He may be nice about it, but just in case what are my options?

My mother is an alcoholic and has mental issues which she refuses to get help for. I have spent the last 14 yrs fighting with her, being neglected as a child, then a runaway teen. I have many negative feelings towards her. There was a time I went 2 yrs without speaking to her. Now we are not speaking again. I feel very guilty that one day she is going to die and our relationship is so terrible. Now that I’m an adult I would like to move on, let the guilt go and allow myself to be happy. How do I do that?

i am 14 i started having sex when i was 12 i only had a couple partners n since i never had any STDS i been through a lot too much to explain but to the point where i wanted to just die still do. i was raised right but was spoiled,hard headed but very smart but didn’t use my intelligence. i always been told i was gorgeous and know i am but had low self esteem because 1st people said i was stuck up had a bad attitude which i never was just shy or that i was a baby then too grown just things teens deal with i been called a lot of things but it don’t matter cause i knew who i was n god do my grandmother died of lung cancer when i was 7 that’s why i hated my parents and family smoked but i started at 13 cause stress n it seem to free my mind of all the drama and bullshit i went thru i smoked weed,cigarettes and tried Ecstasy when my mother went to jail i went wild n have 3 brothers 1 was in jail for 6 years for a shooting of my life my 2nd oldest was a badass but now living life not too good but not bogus1 in college on my father side my father never been there he’s on crack my uncle raped my mother when i was little my parents were alcoholics damn near girls never liked me cause i was different n stayed took care not to be cocky but its the truth haters i couldn’t keep girlfriends in the project especially when i ended up moving to the projects where i stay now with my auntie cause my parents lost our house cars everything i been surrounded of negativity which i always been a good person i feel like i let people turn me into this ne who my parents are and was good parents who don’t have flaws but it matter then not now cause i learned happy at a young age but not so soon that’s part of the reason i felt i changed to fit in n cause i felt alone n unloved when my family broke apart i started to like older guys cause i felt secure but being honest they were to old n knew my age basically ive been molested im not looking for pity cause i knew what i was doing but they knew better n i didn’t see it that way as them being pedophiles at first cause i was vulnerable wanted love that’s all naive cause my brothers and real dad wasn’t there really but my mom was with my step dad 6 years n they been thru alot she went to jail for shooting him he’s white im black n i love him 2 death that’s my dad he always been there no matter what he’s a real man ne way june of this year my aunt took me to the doc n i found out i have herpes simplex 2 doc said she cant say how long ive had it n said i wasn’t the carrier which i knew someone gave it to me i dont know who tho ive been safe n using protection but since i started having sex these last 3 years i had sex like every couple months cause im not a freak or addicted but i always thought i found the one or trusted the wrong one i know all my sex partners but don’t talk to all.idk things do happen and god already planned my life but i just feel like i don’t deserve this i feel unnormal havent felt the same since not only im only a baby yeah i brung it upon my self but not really cause someone did this to me why i don’t get i allowed it somewhat n this is fucked up to say but it was a big wake up call sometimes there bad not only i never had anything it for me to get something the 1st time i cant get rid of it i wasn’t ready and regret having sex period wish i could go back n show im smart but when i was doing it i was accused of that pushed me to which shouldv’e been motivation now every bad thing is but i changed espically when my mother got out i felt complete secure not only i was transforming back into myself again a kid i was forced to act n be grown i had no one i been trying to move on its hard tho not only i will never forgive,forget or get rid of it i feel hopeless i pray every night n know god loves me but feel curse cause everytime i do good it seem like i get fucked.maybe i do need help but they’ve tried i think no one can help me but god what you think???

Every once in a while my mom will “beat” me. She’s bloddied my nose, tore out chunks of hair, punch me and even beat me with a blow dryer… she says its okay because she was raised like that but idont agree… my step dad drinks like crazy and he had a n affair but talked his way out of it. he doesn’t like me too much because i’m always tryng to prove to my mom how he’s a huge mistake and to leave him. i want to move in with my biological dad in texas but i dont know what its going to take. i’m 16 years old and i’m a girl. helpppppp

my grandma is moving to ohio to live with my aunt. she suggested i move with her cuz my mom and brothers dad are alcoholics and were sick of their shit.im 13 and i dont want to leave my brother behind,but i shoukdnt have to be responsible for him.although my mom’s got problems,i still love her,so should i stay here with my mom,brother,and brothers dad in pennsylvania,or move to ohio with my grandma?

Or what should I do??? I’m 32 single guy and I just had to move back to my home town recently. Would you live with your mom if she was an alocholic too???

Im now 15 years old. I wasn’t involved in my moms life for about 13 years. When me and my siblings were younger she walked out on us. I believe people change and so when I turned about 13, I wanted to be involved with my mom and see if she had changed. I started talking to her over the phone for a little bit but then it got to the point where I wanted to see her. My dad and my step mom thought i was taking it fast. I was 14 when I started seeing her. I would see her as much as often. The more I saw her, the more i got to see. I got to see my cousins, the newborns, my aunts and uncles and grandparents. That was all great. But some things I didnt want to see. I saw that my little sister was spoiled and that the middle child (my younger brother) had to do a lot of stuff and got yelled at for the smallest things. I figured it was a stage for the kid. After a year, I wanted to live with my mom. My dad didnt take that well and we got into the biggest fights ever between us. Of course after that I really wanted to move. And he did what any father should want to do and made is daughter happy. My dad warned me and told me it wouldn’t be the same as when I visited her. And he was right. I Stayed over there and the house was a mess. Couldnt walk on one part of carpet. I was constantly cleaning and trying to settle things out. I felt like the two grown people and the two kids were my children. We didnt live in a house, it was an appartment. Then, I saw the parents always faught…..faught to the point where the neighbors were banging on the walls. I got tired of everything and realized I was always hidding in my room and I kinda felt old. It didnt help that 3 months later my mom said were moving 1 mile away from where we lives. I hate moving so that stressed me out. But the new house looked clean and new. I thought, maybe this is kinda like a new start. I was completely wrong. Her husband drank alot. You could call him an alcoholic. My mom is now working 2 jobs and trying to take care of 3 kids. I soon found out he was hitting her and she had bruises all over. After a visit from the cops, a restraning order was put over his head. They said they were getting a divorce. Until about 5 days before the oder expired, she told me he was coming home. I was very dissapointed and mad. I told her i was moving back with my dad. But she convincced me other wise. After he moved back he promised things would be different…They werent. They still argue and yell every night. I am fed up with everything theyve got. The only thing keeping me from moving back with my dad is my baby sister and my little brother. I am concerned about there health and how they will take things. So I need help, should I move out? I’m not sure what to do.

Ok im not sure if anyone knows but I live in FL and my husband has a little girl who’s 8 by another woman, well about a year ago she moved up to OK, and what i was wondering was is it legal for her to do that, he is paying child support and has been for about 7 yrs now i know the child support has nothing to do with it but he doesnt get to see her, until now they came down for a week and its been over a year since he has seen his little girl, her mother is listed as the cusodial parent and he is the non-custodial parent does he have any say in what she does, we need to know what we need to do, we have had her for three days and were suppose to take her back tonight but when we got to where they were staying noone was there(her mother knew what time we were bringing her home) and my husband called and she said to leave her with the neighbor which the little girl doesnt know, and i told him no that she could come and get her from our house, come to find out the mother is out drinking and said she couldnt come and get her..its a messed up situation what can we do if anything???