We will help you get your mom off drugs!

This is going to be real hard to explain to everyone without it being forever long. So I apologize now for the length of this, but I have to give all the facts for you guys to understand how we have gotten to this point. My husband deals with a lot of bottled up depression. It goes all the way back to before I ever even met him. Mainly about his feelings about his brothers suicide and his relationship with his mother and the fact that he does not get to see his son as often as he would like. There is many things that bothers him that I never can get him to talk about. He just does not like to get into those conversations. But he started handling his issues by popping pills a long time back. Those pills ended up making him do many dumb things that landed him in jail and on parole for many years now. When we first met he had been out of jail for a while. I met him where we both worked at the time. He was doing real good for himself. He had got back on track and was an all around great guy. We was together for a while and was great together until he got down and out over some stuff that was going on in his life. Never filling me in on anything, of course. So he tried to deal with things the best way he thinks of and goes back to doing pills. Well, he and I took a break from each other. Well, once he come to the conclusion that he wanted to come off the pills and work on us again we gave it another shot. Now during that break he was messing up his parole. He stopped going to see his PO and quit his job, Leaving a warrant hanging over his head. We both knew that when they caught up with him he would go back to jail. We was back together and he had got back on track and was doing real good for himself. We was doing good. Then one day he was in a car accident and winded up in jail over the warrant for parole violation. I knew that the day would come and even though he was doing good he would have to pay for the actions he had done previously. So I stayed by him. I wrote him every day, literally for the four months he had to serve. I kept minutes on the phone so he could call regularly from jail. I sent him commisary money every week. Made every visit I was allowed. I was completly down for him during that time because I knew he could and had changed. So he gets out of jail, shortly after we got married. Things started off good. But him and his mom had a falling out and the next thing you know he starts acting funny. Well, come to find out he had started popping pills again. He always argues that it shouldn’t matter to me if he pops a few pills if he isn’t doing it around me or messing around on me or it isn’t affecting me. But how do I make him understand that it does affect me? He is a completly different person when he is popping pills. He seems almost bi-polar. He never has time for me. With us working different shifts, and him using all his free time to run off with one of his friends to try and get high it leaves no time for us. We have talked about this, we have argued about this, I have even tried just letting it run its cours and keeping my mouth shut. But nothing seems to make him see how it affects us. I don’t know how to help us any more. I have tried to explain to him that I am tired of the only time I get with him is when there is no one to get high with, or when he is tired from all the partying he has done the past few days and he just wants to sleep, or when he stays at home cause he is sick or something. I want him to roll over and think about what we could do together during the day instead of just rolling over when he wakes up wanting to start dialing numbers to find someone to run off with for the day to get high. How do you help an addict? I’ve never been one so I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t want to leave my husband. I want to help him. He is the greatest person you could ever meet when he isn’t on pills. I love that man, but the man he is when he is on pills is not my husband. I want to be there for the man I know he really is, but I don’t know how to reach that person any more. What can you really do in this situation?

I’m seeking some desperately needed advice. I am 21 yrs old, have only been married for about 8 months and am having serious doubts about my marriage. the first 5 months of my marriage was destroyed by my husband’s alcohol problem. he was drunk 4-5 days out of the week, spending a lot of money on alcoholl and not working. it was without a doubt the worst time in my life. when drunk my husband is very verbally abusive and threatening. although he has never phsyically hurt me, the emotional scars are very deep. in january i left him for 5 days and stayed with my mother. i eventually went back as he promised to go to aa and get a job. he went to aa a few times and got a job with me. for 3 months he didn’t drink and we got along very well. at the end of march i began to suspect he was drinking again but not freqently. i first i didnt talk about it because i didn’t want to “realize” it. now he has drank several times recently and gone back to his mean ways. I addressed it wth him this time through email because he wouldn’t talk to me about it at home. he wrote back a very heartfelt letter of apology. i suggested we go to marriage counseling but he won’t talk about that. since this happened he has been drunk a few more times. i’m incredibly tired of this. i have a million goals and dreams and am a very ambitious person. i feel as if his refusal to stop drinking is going to hold me back. yet i do love him and do love the times we have together when he is sober. however i promised myself i would never go back to that lifestyle of living with his drinking and cruelty.

i would greatly appreciate anyone’s input/experience abotu this issue. i should add that having witnessed someone’s alcoholic tendencies for as long as i have, i still do not entirely believe alcoholism is a true disease. if my husband wanted to stop i believe he would make the effort to, not just find a better way to hide it. thanks!

My situation is kindof complicated, but I will try and keep it short.

My father is an alcoholic, and things got worse when my mother went away for work for 8 months. While she was away, she met someone else, cheated on my dad and she is now engaged to this guy. Because of my fathers alcoholism, he didn’t have a job, which made my mother very unhappy, and she wound up in the arms of another man.
My parents got a divorce about 3 months ago, and now my dad lives with my sister. I still love my parents, but it is so strange seeing them with other people since they have been married for such a long time. I am 19, and I just can’t picture my parents with other people.
The other day I was visiting my dad, and he was telling me about some of the dates he has been on, and how he took this girl from the video store on a date. He talks to all these women on facebook, and I just find it so strange. Am I supposed to be happy for him? How can I get used to him being with someone else other than my mother?

Recently, it hit me that she may need me to take care of her if my father happens to pass first. My brother has a family and two little girls, so the responsibility would be mine. To be honest, I am starting to dread this kind of future, yet I want to be there for her. She is only 69, but already so fragile. I just don’t know if I would ever be able to live with her again, but I know that would be the expectation. I feel so guilty! How can I make peace with this fear?
Just FYI – We have all tried for DECADES to get help for my mother. This has been an ongoing issue, and she is the only one who seems to be unaware of it. At this point, the drinking is better than it was while we were growing up. If I were to live with her, I would force her into a program immediately. This is the only thing about my father that I have never understood – why he has let it go on for so many years.
Hi everyone – Thank you for your thoughtful and kind answers. I appreciate it, and your words really helped.

Have a blessed day!

This is going to be a long one guys, I apologize, but I really need some advice on this one, it’s complicated, but basically this mother is abusive towards her 7 year old son. Not in terms of physical, but more along the lines of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse daily. (which can be worse than physical) We (my husband and I) are in partnership with her sugar daddy, our financial lives r basically in his hands. Child Protective Services just called my phone (I was on the other line and did not pick up) the message that was left was for me to contact them so they can inquire about the little boys situation. (someone else called cps previously and they r doing a follow up call)The mother gave out only certain numbers the C.P.S. could call, so if I do say something, she will know it came from me (we have spoken about her drinking problem several times in the past, but of course she see’s no problem.) I know what I have to do. I must do what is right for the child. I am afraid of the repercussion’s in telling the truth. The mother and her sugar daddy have the power to ruin our lives financially, they could wipe us out. I know this sounds selfish, but I am scared. The situation needs to change for the little boys sake, but how do I do this without them knowing it was me? The rest of the family will do nothing but protect this drunk, vile, toxic woman. If she only gave out certain phone numbers, wouldn’t she know it was me who said something, since like I previously stated, the rest of the family will do nothing but protect her. I’ve made it perfectly clear to her how I feel and she knows I will do what I have to do to get the child away from her toxic ways…but again, her sugar daddy is financing our 8 month old company…we have NO savings…..what do I do?? Please do not think I am only thinking of ourselves, I love that child, but how will we live without income? Unemployment is not an option for us…My sincerest plea’s go out to you all. What would you do in our situation?

My mother in law was a prison guard and had an affiar with an inmate. She is planning to live with his parents until he gets out of prison in a year. She dropped this news on us at my daughter’s 1st birthday party. She lets her drug addicted daughter crash at her house and has found drug needles in her home. Am i wrong for keeping my daughter away from her. It is really taking a toll on my marriage. My hubby is a mama’s boy! The lifestyles are just too different! There is always drama in her life and it really brings everyone around her down. I love my other in-laws, she just gets under my skin every chance she gets!! I am truly concerned about the effect her life will have on my kids. She has not seen my 1 yr old in 2mths because she will not call ahead of time because she feels like i am making her make an appointment if i ask her to give me some notice before visiting. (Hello, maybe sometimes I try to sneak a few private moments with my hubby when the kiddos are asleep!) HELP!

If you’re a woman living in constant fear of an abusive mate, Dr. Phil dedicates this show to you. He documents the tumultuous journey of a mother of four who flees to a shelter to escape what she says is a violent marriage. When Star last appeared on the show, she admitted that she was addicted to prescription drugs and was unfaithful to her husband, Isaac. Now clean and sober for seven months, she says that her problems are just beginning. Star says Isaac is verbally abusive to her and …

If you’re a woman living in constant fear of an abusive mate, Dr. Phil dedicates this show to you. He documents the tumultuous journey of a mother of four who flees to a shelter to escape what she says is a violent marriage. When Star last appeared on the show, she admitted that she was addicted to prescription drugs and was unfaithful to her husband, Isaac. Now clean and sober for seven months, she says that her problems are just beginning. Star says Isaac is verbally abusive to her and …

If you’re a woman living in constant fear of an abusive mate, Dr. Phil dedicates this show to you. He documents the tumultuous journey of a mother of four who flees to a shelter to escape what she says is a violent marriage. When Star last appeared on the show, she admitted that she was addicted to prescription drugs and was unfaithful to her husband, Isaac. Now clean and sober for seven months, she says that her problems are just beginning. Star says Isaac is verbally abusive to her and …

well it all started when my little sister was in the hospital because she got diabedies this summer, and my mom was in the hospital w/ her, and my dads sister visited and told my mom that my dad was doing cocaine, and everything so my mom asked my dad about it and he screamed at her and admitted that he did do cocaine, and he took thousdands of dollars out of my moms bank account to pay for it, so my mom said she was gonna move but then they started to get back together again, until me, my mom and my little sister visited my older sister in rehab, and my older sister told me and my mom that my dad was doing crack too. so the same thing happened my mom asked my dad and he screamed again and addmitted to doing it in november so to this day my parents have fights and my mom is depressed, and she usually is not a deppressed person but now she is case whatever she says she always gets yelled at & she always says were gonna move but we never do so my mom needs help what should she do?