We will help you get your mom off drugs!

Dad is an alcoholic and drug addict, mom is never home, get beat up at school, watched dad nearly kill my mom, got strangled by him, only time I’m still alive is my boyfriend and he’s going to base camp over the summer and I have a bad feeling about when he does go to the army he’s going to die and my feelings are usually right so what should I do to calm myself down, he said that once he’s done in the army we’ll never leave each other again
Can’t afford a therapist, I’m poor, barely have any groceries in the fridge even

I’m 24 years old and am completely fucking screwed. I’m basically on the verge of homlessness and losing my kids.

I live with my psycho drug addict mom who takes all my money from me. If I don’t give her the money she won’t give me a ride to work…. so I am busting my ass for nothing.

There’s no light at the end of this shitty tunnel. I don’t see things getting better…but worse.

I have no place to live, no car, no money…..no family other than Mom. Friends are gone.

I don’t know what to do anymore….losing hope. I’m just wondering how people get out of bad situations? What would you do to get out of a situation like mine?

BTW… I’m not a drug abuser, I’m educated, work experienced….had a good run, but my luck ran out. Just wanted to say that.

i dont know why shit always happens to me but it does
i got stuck with a terrible dad and drug addict mom
a suicidal sister and a psychopathic step mom

right now i just live with my dad and my sister.
he is always looking for the lastest hookup with his pathetic online dating. TO FAT UGLY CHICKS.
and telling me all the messed up details about his divorce
like how my step mom told him that my half brother might not be his and blah blah it goes on and on

OH and when he found out i wasnt a virgin all hell broke loose.
he told me that he wanted me gone out of the house ( i was 17 at the time) that way i could screw whoever i wanted.
i was in complete shock. its life dad. i had sex with ONE GUY who to this day is still my bf. i didnt commit any crime, i didnt feel like i had done anything wrong.
he made my life hell for weeks.

then i told my stepmom all the things he said to me
and she confronted him about it
and i was accused for “betraying” him.
wtf.
even his sister and mom came over and had this huge talk with me.
he kept saying do you want to move out and stuff
but i never said anything because i was scared to tell him the truth
then one day he just told me to start packing my things
and so i got up and grabbed a bag and he literally freaked out
he grabbed my bag and threw it
basically told me i couldnt leave

and now any little thing that i do
he tries to make it into some big fight.
he thrives on conflict.
like today i was driving and i accidentally hit the curb and he totally went off saying “why did you do that, i knew you were gonna do that”
just egging me on until i snapped at him
and then he said “you think you know everything, you’re the most selfish person i’ve met in my entire life, youre 18 now and its about time you go”

my dad’s side of the family thinks he’s some kind of hero because he “saved” me and my sisters from our mom.
but really he’s an asshole.

my sister is always fighting with her bf. im not even kidding.
every. single. night. she used to cut herself and then she overdosed on some pills and we ahd to take her to the hospital. it was a nightmare.
i can understand why she is this way, our lives suck.
our mom was on meth and beat us cuz she got so aggressive.
she even accused me of stealing 100 dollars from her. i was six years old.
i dont know now how to help her or if she can be helped.
but it’s a very stressful thing to deal with.

i dont know what to do anymore.

i hate my life and i’ve become a very angry person because of it.
im 18 and im going to college in 7 months but thats so long from now.

I NEED ADVICE.
please dont tell me to try and get along with my dad.
i dont want to. im done with him.

My mom is a drug addict who doesnt love herself and neither of her seven kids. I think she just gave birth to collect money. My father doesnt care what any of us do. When i’m with brandon it feels so right. I also think I have alot of jealous people in my family because they never experienced the love we have, so they try to sabatage my relationship. Brandon brings these facts to me everytime something goes wrong. Now I live with Brandon and couldnt be more happier until my family puts there two cents in my life. I’m a grown woman who knows what I want, but its hard sometimes when all they do especially my mom opens her mouth and try’s to ruin everything? So should I just chalk my family up as a loss and do my own thing? more info about this is, my mom is divorced and lives a horrible life!!! maybe she is jealous?? what do you think?

My mom’s parenting style was to shelter me and keep me close to her until I was thirteen. The most damage happened at age 5. She wouldn’t allow me to go beyond three houses from our house. Because of that, whenever I tried to make more friends, I was friendblocked by my mom. The only age-appropriate friend I had at the time found new friends that I could have had the opportunity of hanging with. But I was stuck hanging out with kids that were a few years younger than me. She tried to stop me from watching the stuff that was age appropriate. The only channels I was allowed to watch was PBS Kids. I wanted to watch Power Rangers, Digimon, Pokemon, and all the other superhero shows on at the time. My mom was afraid they were going to make me hyper. Plus, she never told me about anything PG-13, even though all the other kids were making PG-13 insults. I tried asking her, she quickly changed the subject. This is probably the worst one of all; She forced my dad to take showers with me, because I guess I couldn’t bathe myself.

Five years later, they found out I had Asperger’s Syndrome. So all of that stuff she did was counterproductive to me growing up. And yet, she still continued her parenting style. I was so fed up with her restrictions that I (now I really regret this, really really regret it) hit her. My dad finally stepped in at that moment because my mom finally realized she couldn’t control me anymore. My mom used to be the rulemaker, and my dad would be the enforcer; despite my dad’s quiet protests to my mom’s parenting style. My dad would take me away from her every night he could and weekends to repair the damage. He did that every day until the day I left for college. But, it was too late.

Now, I’m 20 years old. I dropped out of college a year ago. I live with my dad after he divorced my mom. I don’t drive, don’t even have a license. I’ve never had a job. I’ve never had a true friend after Elementary School, and to top it all off, never been on a date with a girl or even kissed one. I am in a depression. I’ve had bouts with alcoholism. The first time I tried vodka, I tried to cut myself. That’s when my dad got rid of the alcohol. Now I’ve got nothing to take away the pain of what my mother has done to my childhood and the way my life is now.

My family and I can’t tell her what she has done to me, because she won’t believe us. She thinks everything she does is right and she never lies apparently. That’s what hurts me the most. She will never even be aware of the damage she has caused me.

I just need any advice on dealing with such a messed up upbringing, getting over depression, and making friends.
And please don’t say turn to Jesus. Because what are God and Him going to do to make the pain go away? I am a Christian, but religion does not always have the answer. They do have a lot of answers, but this is one of those times that it doesn’t.
I should add that I still love my mother, even though she was a bad parent. She is very manipulative. She prevented my dad from trying to contribute to the parenting. She only saw him as the enforcer of her rules, not an actually partner. So those of you weirdos actually trying to defend my mom, read what I say about her. She is manipulative, unaware of her problems, and thinks she perfect. When I was 11, she started to fill the house, to the point where you couldn’t even move around the house, with books and antiques. Whenever I would trip over anything; instead of asking if I was okay, she’d ask what I did in angry tone. So pay attention when I say that she has major issues. And stop trying to defend her. I have problems because of her. I tried the best I could to just live my life after she stopped trying to control me, but the damage had already been done.
I should add that I still love my mother, even though she was a bad parent. She is very manipulative. She prevented my dad from trying to contribute to the parenting. She only saw him as the enforcer of her rules, not an actually partner. So those of you weirdos actually trying to defend my mom, read what I say about her. She is manipulative, unaware of her problems, and thinks she perfect. When I was 11, she started to fill the house, to the point where you couldn’t even move around the house, with books and antiques. Whenever I would trip over anything; instead of asking if I was okay, she’d ask what I did in angry tone. So pay attention when I say that she has major issues. And stop trying to defend her. I have problems because of her. I tried the best I could to just live my life after she stopped trying to control me, but the damage had already been done.

A person is who they are because of their parents. I’m just lucky my dad actually got me away from her. She caused me deep psy

Okay I’m 16 years old, and well… my mom is always controling me. I know I’m still young and I’m living under her roof, but she always deciding what should I wear (and i don’t like the clothes she picks out), she always deciding who should be my friends (which i kinda agree since i don’t wanna be around criminals or drug addicts) and she… well everything. Can I get some tips to get her kinda of my back cause I’m getting older and i wanna prove that i’m mature and responsible enough

I am a 29 year old mother of three kids and was married fir eleven years to a drug dealing spouse and though he did that line of work he never paid bills always was out in the streets doing who knows what and recently in July of 2010 he dropped me and my kids off in another state which is my home state to basically fend for ourselves.I have no money no credit and just got a little piece of a job to support myself and kids.I live with my bipolar coke head mom and my dad is a vietnam vet suffering from alcoholism.My husbands parents are here too,but his mom just doesn’t acknowledge myself and my children she won’t even help babysit while I go to work and she is fully capable and alot safer than my own mom.Instead she would rather her son,my husband abandon us even longer to so called get himself together,but he can’t survive without my support so that will be never and on top of that he says he has a new girlfriend that attends law school and he is really into her,this hurts me because I could have been doing that and much more had I not been so gullible for him and doing everything that he said to do….Basically I am on here looking for a life coach to help me get my life back and keep me positive.Please is there anyone out there? I am not looking for handouts just a helping hand and resources.

I mean like things that happened to me 5ish years ago are now popping up and I’m feeling depressed and confused about them.

My step father was an alcoholic and a gambling addict and when my mother finally kicked him out of the house, he left our family very vunrable.

I wasn’t really upset by this at the time, but now I am. I can’t believe he hurt us like this.

Why am I not feeling the sadness at the time? But years later?

I’m 14. I hav 1 bother tht I live with he’s 10. Now my grndparents r fight for my baby sister who is 2. My oldest sister who I’m closest to lives far away. I’ve lived with my grndparents sense I was 5. My mother is addicted to drugs n sex. She’s in prison alot when I was 5 she went to prison for lik 6 years. Got out went back to prison. Got out went to jail. Got out went to rehab. Got out got married then went in jail again thts where she is now. I’ve had to deal with this for my whole life. All my brothers n sisters r half brothers n sisters. My lil brothers dad died he nvr got to kno him. My older sister lives with her dad stepmom n other lil siblings. My lil sisters dad last I heared was in jail. My dad lives near but never sees me. I used to cut stopped then went bkk to it again. I just need a friend a true friend. But when I do mak friends I dnt trust. Thts wht life has tought me. Never trust anyone…. Where r u dad?? God r.i.p. Bradly not my biological dad but was lik a dad anyway.

I’m at the point where I think I need to cut my mom out of my life for good. I need some opinions and maybe some advice on what I should do…

I am 19 years old (20 next month). I moved out of my mother’s house when I was 17, into my brother’s house. I moved out because my mother was physically and emotionally abusing me, and because I just couldn’t deal with her anymore. My father passed away when I was 16 and my mom went deeper into her drug addiction. She has been a drug addict since I was born, she just took it to the extreme when my father passed. My mom has also always abused me, I have scars on my head from her bashing me into walls, a cut on my eye from her trying to stab me, etc. I just decided that when I was 17 and a year of living with her by myself, I was done and over her abuse towards me.

I currently live with my boyfriend who I have been with since I was 15. He is everything to me, and without him I don’t know where I would be. I have lived with him since I turned 18.

Lately my mother has been calling me saying she is going to kill herself (because of me). Every time I come over to help her and to talk her out of it… I end up being the bad one. I end up being belittled and torn apart by her. Tonight was my last straw, she sat there and told me how I was a stupid b*tch, who meant nothing to her, how I am a f*ck up and how my boyfriend deserves from pretty and better than me. She continued to tell me how my father hated me, how I was a mistake, how my mother wished she would of had an abortion and how she doesn’t want me. Yet, when I don’t pick up her phone calls (because of her saying these things to me) I am the one who is wrong, and I am the one who doesn’t care.

What do I do? I am so sick of her, and I am so sick of being the one who is always “wrong.”
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do
Should probably mention.
She has tried to kill herself 2 other times, each time I found her. Once when I was 16 and the other when I was 18. I have also put her into rehab 4 times. Each time she is sober for 1 month and relapses. She is also engaged, so she is not alone.

Okay, I have a lot to say. So, please, wait till I finish “adding details”.

My father is… not exactly the most pleasant guy. He tries hard with his work, but he’s constantly struggling and dealing with shady people. His life has always been hard. But, at the same time, he’s angry all the time and scary. Everything he has to say is miserable and infuriated, and he doesn’t appreciate anything my sisters and mother and I do. Our relationship is so downhill that I have trouble even talking to him. All we do is say “hi” in the morning (literally just that word), and anytime else he is just telling me to do something. He’s ALWAYS ridiculously pissed. He flips computers over, breaks chairs, screams, bangs his fists on the table, and in the early early morning, I hear him talking to himself about how miserable the world is and how everyone should just DIE.

I think he is mentally ill, or that the drugs and alcohol he did as a kid has warped his mind. He once claimed to never even remember his childhood because of all the drugs and drinking.

He’s always been an angry guy. He used to be an alcoholic, but now the only difference (he has stopped drinking) is that he’s not intoxicated and doesn’t hit people anymore or insult us as much. But even so, he’s still awful and makes me miserable. I can’t even TALK quietly in my own house without him yelling at me, sometimes, and it’s all because he just loses his patience. He flips out over everything; he looked like he was going to kill me because the crushed ice button was on instead of cubed ice on the refrigerator– and I didn’t even do it.

It’s ridiculous. I can’t suggest him therapy or anger management or pills. He is stubborn, and, quite frankly, I’m afraid to talk to him or anyone about him. Everytime I try telling somebody or venting, I just laugh or stop short because I know I’ll cry.

He is RIDICULOUS. My mom doesn’t even talk to him. Instead, she’s silent and sometimes she gets drunk (and yet he thinks it’s OUR fault she resorts to alcohol). But, without my dad, we can’t survive. My mom can’t get a job to support four kids for the life of her, and I don’t understand what to do anymore. My mom has wanted a divorce, but has been putting it off for years. I just don’t understand, and because I have no neighbors and no one will take me to a friend’s house, I’m virtually trapped in a forest with miserable people in a miserable, rundown house. I don’t know what to do anymore; I’m a highschool freshman and all I can do is dream about perfecting school over the next four years, then moving on to better places. But four years is a long time to wait. I’ve been dealing with this all my life, but it only dawned on me about 3 or 4 years ago (I’m 14) how much my house effects me.

What do I do? What advice can you give me? I don’t want to call cops or anything like that; I just need a perspective or something that will help me enjoy life despite all the problems I have right now.

Because of all the things that happened in the past, I realize now that I have trouble talking about certain subjects, like alcoholism and abuse and whatnot. It’s really to the point where I can’t even utter the words. One time in class, I had to read a paragraph about a girl getting beaten up by her mom, and I literally could not do it. It was awful.

I’m not an oddball in school or anything like that. I have tons of friends. But if I even mention anything, they just sort of laugh and make something funny out of it. And that’s great and all, but that’s how I’ve been dealing with my problems for as long as I can remember. Instead oof crying, I laugh, because I can’t stand it when I cry.

I feel so isolated and bottled up.

Please give me some insight or something. Has anyone else felt like this? I know there’s worse things in this world, but I just would like to at least know that someone understands. At the least.

This is basically the first time I’ve ever talked about any of this.
if you’re wondering what the question is, I’ll retype it:

Any insight/ideas/inspiration/books/ANYTHING that I can read or participate in that will help me survive this?

And nothing you can do will make it fair. Either a baby will be dead or it will be a drug dealer.

And I was raised by a single mother, I’m not talking about single mothers, I’m talking about abusive drug addicted neglectful mothers.

I think of myself as a pretty good person. A transitioning teen transsexual raised by a single mother who loves me, I understand the fact that single mothers aren’t bad.

And nothing you can do will make it fair. Either a baby will be dead or it will be a drug dealer.

And I was raised by a single mother, I’m not talking about single mothers, I’m talking about abusive drug addicted neglectful mothers.

I think of myself as a pretty good person. A transitioning teen transsexual raised by a single mother who loves me, I understand the fact that single mothers aren’t bad.

And nothing you can do will make it fair. Either a baby will be dead or it will be a drug dealer.

And I was raised by a single mother, I’m not talking about single mothers, I’m talking about abusive drug addicted neglectful mothers.

I think of myself as a pretty good person. A transitioning teen transsexual raised by a single mother who loves me, I understand the fact that single mothers aren’t bad.

And nothing you can do will make it fair. Either a baby will be dead or it will be a drug dealer.

And I was raised by a single mother, I’m not talking about single mothers, I’m talking about abusive drug addicted neglectful mothers.

I think of myself as a pretty good person. A transitioning teen transsexual raised by a single mother who loves me, I understand the fact that single mothers aren’t bad.

My biological father is an alcoholic way back before i was born. My mom couldn’t handle his abusive behavior that she left us when i was 6 & went to another country.My grandma took care of me while my grandfather supported us financially. My dad didn’t finish high school & was more interested in hanging out with his alcoholic friends.He has been jobless ever since & doesn’t care about working to earn a living since he was dependent on my grandfather. Since i was a child, i live in guilt, shame, anger & fear bec. everytime he comes home drunk, he is a loudmouth, angry & wouldn’t care less if the stereo’s speakers was blasting so loud late at night in our apartment that neighbors complain about how nuisance we are.I feel so much shame as i hid in my room crying with much hurt & pain waiting for the nightmare to end. I had low self-esteem.I get so angry at him that in my mind i wanted him to die or I would think of killing myselfThings became more difficult for me when my grandmother had a stroke & Alzheimer’s that I could no longer lean on her anymore for comfort.For years, the nightmare brought by my father continued & so is my darkest moments of despair as I try to focus on my studies while hiding in my room bearing the hurt & shame.Yes there are normal days when he is sober but when he is drunk & rowdy again, it seems that the bright & sunny world I once knew suddenly turn stormy as hell for me.I feel I wanna run away, scream, cry & shout but nobody listens & understands. By God’s grace I was able to finish Business Administration in College.I am 21 now but my dad still has his habit. He tends to quit for a few days or weeks but then he goes back to drinking again esp. when he gets to save money that my well-off aunt gives him allowance daily out of sympathy.My aunt takes care of the utilities since my grandmother, their mother, lives together with us in the apartment. I took the graveyard shift cashier job in an Internet café that my aunt owns as a way of escape & avoid experiencing the trauma to avoid my father’s drunkenness as much as possible. But fate seems to be playing at me bec. my dad sometimes is drunk early in the morning or in the afternoon & it leaves me so bitter & angry again towards him, others around me & myself. I get so angry again that I swear & cursed my own father. As a Christian, this really saddens me & is so hard for me to try to live a life without anger & hate when life itself forces me to do so. I feel so alone & dejected. I never have a boyfriend maybe bec. I don’t seem to trust men or have not found yet found someone who would be serious & accept my family’s situation. I still pray that one day my dad would finally finally quit drinking & be a real father to me. In our Asian country, I don’t know yet if we have support groups like Al-Anon. Right now, I am dying to settle a normal life for awhile but I am still anxious at the moment bec. I still can’t find a decent job once I quit the cashier job. And if I get a new daytime job, I dreaded the thought if I have to live again the nightmare when my dad gets hooked to drinking again in the evenings. I am so sick & tired of living this way.In our culture is really different bec. children are still responsible for their parents even when they are beyond 18 years of age. But now I plan to rent a place of my own so I could have a peaceful place to run to when I come home and find him drunk again. I think I couldn’t bear any longer like before. I had enough of the trauma since I was a kid. Am I being selfish if I will start to live on my own and try hard to escape from home when he gets drunk? But my grandmother is still living in our apartment and I don’t want to leave her when I know she has short time left with us. But I am really affected by my dad’s alcoholism. I tried to advise him but the advise just feel on deaf ears. I must admit we don’t talk so much at all and I am not open to him bec. it’s hard to establish a close relationship with him bec. he tends to easily misinterpret and get angry at things bec. a dominant person he is. I am anxious also since I will be the one to take care of my father’s allowance bec. my aunt made a deal that she will quit giving help to my dad if I quit working at the café.That would mean it will be hard to save or there won’t enough left for me to save and being financially stable on my own feels completely out of reach for me. Please I need some advise ,I am really confuse.

My biological father is an alcoholic way back before i was born. My mom couldn’t handle his abusive behavior that she left us when i was 6 & went to another country.My grandma took care of me while my grandfather supported us financially. My dad didn’t finish high school & was more interested in hanging out with his alcoholic friends.He has been jobless ever since & doesn’t care about working to earn a living since he was dependent on my grandfather. Since i was a child, i live in guilt, shame, anger & fear bec. everytime he comes home drunk, he is a loudmouth, angry & wouldn’t care less if the stereo’s speakers was blasting so loud late at night in our apartment that neighbors complain about how nuisance we are.I feel so much shame as i hid in my room crying with much hurt & pain waiting for the nightmare to end. I had low self-esteem.I get so angry at him that in my mind i wanted him to die or I would think of killing myselfThings became more difficult for me when my grandmother had a stroke & Alzheimer’s that I could no longer lean on her anymore for comfort.For years, the nightmare brought by my father continued & so is my darkest moments of despair as I try to focus on my studies while hiding in my room bearing the hurt & shame.Yes there are normal days when he is sober but when he is drunk & rowdy again, it seems that the bright & sunny world I once knew suddenly turn stormy as hell for me.I feel I wanna run away, scream, cry & shout but nobody listens & understands. By God’s grace I was able to finish Business Administration in College.I am 21 now but my dad still has his habit. He tends to quit for a few days or weeks but then he goes back to drinking again esp. when he gets to save money that my well-off aunt gives him allowance daily out of sympathy.My aunt takes care of the utilities since my grandmother, their mother, lives together with us in the apartment. I took the graveyard shift cashier job in an Internet café that my aunt owns as a way of escape & avoid experiencing the trauma to avoid my father’s drunkenness as much as possible. But fate seems to be playing at me bec. my dad sometimes is drunk early in the morning or in the afternoon & it leaves me so bitter & angry again towards him, others around me & myself. I get so angry again that I swear & cursed my own father. As a Christian, this really saddens me & is so hard for me to try to live a life without anger & hate when life itself forces me to do so. I feel so alone & dejected. I never have a boyfriend maybe bec. I don’t seem to trust men or have not found yet found someone who would be serious & accept my family’s situation. I still pray that one day my dad would finally finally quit drinking & be a real father to me. In our Asian country, I don’t know yet if we have support groups like Al-Anon. Right now, I am dying to settle a normal life for awhile but I am still anxious at the moment bec. I still can’t find a decent job once I quit the cashier job. And if I get a new daytime job, I dreaded the thought if I have to live again the nightmare when my dad gets hooked to drinking again in the evenings. I am so sick & tired of living this way.In our culture is really different bec. children are still responsible for their parents even when they are beyond 18 years of age. But now I plan to rent a place of my own so I could have a peaceful place to run to when I come home and find him drunk again. I think I couldn’t bear any longer like before. I had enough of the trauma since I was a kid. Am I being selfish if I will start to live on my own and try hard to escape from home when he gets drunk? But my grandmother is still living in our apartment and I don’t want to leave her when I know she has short time left with us. But I am really affected by my dad’s alcoholism. I tried to advise him but the advise just feel on deaf ears. I must admit we don’t talk so much at all and I am not open to him bec. it’s hard to establish a close relationship with him bec. he tends to easily misinterpret and get angry at things bec. a dominant person he is. I am anxious also since I will be the one to take care of my father’s allowance bec. my aunt made a deal that she will quit giving help to my dad if I quit working at the café.That would mean it will be hard to save or there won’t enough left for me to save and being financially stable on my own feels completely out of reach for me. Please I need some advise ,I am really confuse.

It did me – I left a while a go nearly 12 years ago now- I’m 27. I was in boarding school from the age of 8 to 16- 2 different school. First school we weren’t allowed home weekends, second one we where if we wanted.

Anyway, after I left, I couldn’t cope with the actual freedom of being free nor with the freedom of choice – just being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, like go for a pi$$, without having to ask permission all the f****** time. For months after I left, I found myself asking my own mother if I could go for a wee. In our own house.

I think it was also being so young and away from home so much that screwed me up. And the strict regimes. Everything, really.

I went into a depression and turned to drink and drugs for a while, and have done some stupid things out of anger, I guess, for the way you are treated in boarding schools. I stopped the drugs a few years ago, but still drink, and am being treated for alcoholism right now.

A few people from my year I kept in contact with when we left went the same way. Some of them have died from ODs, 2 killed themselves and one other who was my best friend in school – she still is my best friend now- was severely anorexic for a few years.

Anyone who has been at boarding school in the UK had the same thing/heard of it happening?
I did post this in another category- Education primary and secondary.

I am so absolutely sick and tired of my life. I go through the motions daily, because I owe it to my daughter. But, I don’t know how much more I can deal with. I am a 42 divorced (due to ex’s alcoholism-he turned cruel and mean) woman with a beautiful five year old daughter. I wasn’t a planned child—I was adopted at three days old, and at the age of six, I was told. By the age of 12, I knew too well that I was not ‘first picked’—I was never told or shown that I was loved……as an only child, I was verbally and psychologically abused until I finally had to leave. It still bothers me to this day—I never could understood how my own mother, and her ‘cronies’ could be so cruel—for no reason other than meanness. I volunteered at the library, ran errands for the elderly, walked/rode in -athons to raise money for charities, tutored kids who needed help, —-everyone else seemed to appreciate me except my own family. I was, and am still to a fault, a nurturer and empathizer. Yet, where one would think that people appreciate that in a person, it has caused me nothing but grief. If it weren’t for the teachers in my life, I would probably be living on welfare or some kind of addict. I have never experienced ‘true love’ or ‘unconditional love’….My daughter who is also adopted, since I suffered from ovarian cancer at age 19 and lost one ovary, is my only salvation——and it breaks my heart because I cannot give her all of me. I blame myself for ‘her daddy’ leaving……I tried so hard to help him, to get him help, to do whatever he wanted–yet he still left—two years ago……and his family ‘protected him’ although everything he did to us was cruel and vindictive——moved out and we lost our home, car, etc……..and he refused to help pay anything, he just moved in with some girl he just met—-and guess what, they have a little baby of their own now……I have no other family so to speak, so my daughter only has me, and I feel like a basket case all the time…….Since I was denied family stuff when I was a kid, I always promised that my family would always celebrate everything with family..yet for the two years since my ex took off we have been alone for everything—thanksgiving, christmas, birthdays, soccer games, EVERYTHING..my heart breaks just thinking about it. i have tried to reach out in so many ways to others, but I dont even have a friend in which to talk to. the few friends that I did have kinda went their own ways after the divorce. so, here I am all alone, trying to make a life for my little girl and me. I am terribly sad about what her life has become as well as extremely angry that all the people that were in our life have ‘abandoned us’ She did not deserve this. I just don’t know what to do. I could write on and on about this.. I gave so much my entire life, and my career is based on giving back to at risk kids—which I love, but no one has ever been there for us. I have tried churches, support groups, etc. It is like we are invisible. so, dont offer advice about ‘helping here or there’—I have helped out more than anyone I know and have never been the recipient of any such help. Not that it was ever a thought on my mind when I volunteered all the time, just looking back, it seems that I always gave (because I wanted to) and now, when I need someone, ANYONE, there is NO ONE. and the part that makes me bitter is that it is affecting my daughter, no matter how hard I try to keep it from doing so. She deserves the world. Both she and I have so much love to offer and we desperately want a family to share our lives with—it just seems hopeless

I’m afraid he feels trapped. If he threatens to leave after a fight, I threaten suicide and have actually tried it several times. I get into a hyseterical frenzy. A while ago, he heard that I cheated on him and got very upset. He got togehter with this horrible girl (druggie and thief) and they slept toghether atleast 10 times and she even stayed with him for a couple of weeks since she doesn’t have a place to live. That was the worst month of my life. I couldn’t stop obsessing about what they were doing. I couldn’t stop crying. I really wanted to die. I really do love this guy but part of me wonders if he is an addiction. I am also a serious recovering drug addict and alcoholic with many emotional problems. Other guys show interest in me that would probably be able to take care of me but I am not interested. This guy doesn’t work and sponges off me and my Mom. I’ve been buying him weed as almost a bribe since he is very addicted to weed. I really need help and quickly.