We will help you get your mom off drugs!

My step kids mom is a coke addicted useless bartender. She is not financially responsible for these kids. She gets them on the weekends. She beats her other smaller kids as does her husband. She left coke straws where her stepdaughters baby could find one and play with it. Her kids have found drugs in her purse and in her laundry. She doesnt spend time with them doing anything for them. She doesnt read to them, help them with homework, have rules, or anything. The twins are like 9 now and already have had police called on them and are dysfunctional at best. Why is it then that my step son in particular sticks up for her? She doesnt do anything to help us out, nothing for anyone but herself. WTF!!! I pray daily that she would overdose and do the world a favor.

Rita said they were going with their grandparents, and they drove off with two elderly people. What grandparents? In a previous season, Rita’s mom came to visit and she was a negative, judgmental nightmare and Rita sent her home. Also, she was single–I don’t remember if she was divorced or widowed. So it wasn’t her. Then Dexter’s parents are dead. So the only ones left are the parents of Rita’s drug-addicted, abusive first husband–would a mother let her kids go off with those people? Or did I just find a hole in the continuity?

I have their costumes all ready and had planned to take them around the neighbourhood with their trick-or-treat bags as soon as it is dark, but my wife says I’m drunk and is threatening to have her fat mother come over and sit on me so I can’t leave the house.

My mother in law explains that once in awhile i should buy my children Mcdonalds, Or some other Fast food joint. I limit the amount of soda & juice,and potato chips in my house. I want my children to be healthy. She said let them be kids, eat junk all day. However, my husband agrees with me, who do you agree with?

For lunch they eat sandwiches with an apple on the side and milk for a drink.

Am i doing anything wrong?

I called Social Services who closed the case with unsubstantiated. I have letters from our church pastor, bus driver and therapist stating the kids did confirm with them. She now wants more visitation. Can i use to prevent? Anything else I can do? the kids go to school under me and live with me 4 1-2 days a week? please help

I have known plenty of people raised in “Traditional” households with both the mom and dad that were drug addicts and convicts and plenty of people raised by single parents and gay parents or other “Un Traditional” households that turned out to be very bright and successful!
Thank you answers4u! Also dont forget. Im gay and my parents were straight! My dad went to a catholic school where the teachers were nuns. And he most certainly didnt grow up to become a nun!!

my sons drug addicted birthmother speaks babytalk to him (he’s 11), her 16 year old son, and her boyfriends (she has had more than 15 in 7 years). she does not have custody nor can she have unsupervised visits. what might she be getting out of it and how might this be affecting my stepson? (he already uses accents, babytalk at innappropriate times)

Even if it’s kind of a problem, but not really; she drinks a lot but doesn’t get drunk a whole lot?

We live in Indiana and my sister in law told my mother in law today that her and her boyfriend and there two young kids are going to up and move to Illinois to get away from family. We have recently caught on to them doing drugs, by the way. We believe she is addicted to pain pills and doing meth. They are going to Illinois, and they will have no where to live, healthcare, etc… Is there anything I can do or is this some form of neglect??? Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks

My cousin called my Mom last May (the 19th) and asked her to take her 2 small children. She just showed up today, almost a year later with cops and her “lawyer” to get her kids. She had called my Mom because she was arrested in a meth lab with her 2 month old and she thought OCS was going to take them from her. My Mom had her sign a paper granting temperary custody, not to exceed 6 months, just long enough to go through her court appointed rehab. Well, she went once, but never completed it. She is now 7 months pregnant with another baby and still on crystal meth. When we got her 4 year old son, he was malnurished and had 4 abcessed teeth that my Mom had removed by a dentist. Her 8 month old daughter could not sit up and weighed more than her brother. Their “egg donor” had been feeding her bottles just to keep her quiet while she got high and then slept it off. Our family is devastated. Is there anything legal that can be done besides calling OCS to watch her like a hawk? Please Pray!

My husband had a harsh childhood (drug addicted Mom and abusive, cruel Dad.) My husband spent 14yrs with his 1st wife, often working 2 jobs while she stayed home. He says he can count on one hand how often she said she loved him or thanked him for anything. He admits that he never had a backbone with her. She verbally and emotionally abused him and he took it, not knowing how a real family is supposed to feel.
Now she has custody of their 2 boys and she is so evil and mean. She tells the boys and everyone else that my husband used to abuse her. I have caught her in so many lies and schemes to know that my husband is the one telling the truth. He is so patient, gentle, and loving and doesn’t deserve this treatment. It’s obvious to anyone that he is intimidated by her but she is 5’1″ with a sweet voice so it’s hard to not believe her if you didn’t know both of them. She uses the kids to get at him and encourages them to be rude to us. There is no talking to her. What do we do?
I personally never talk to her. He is the one who has tried reasoning with her and getting her to see that she is harming the boys. We spend time talking about it because of how it affects the kids.
Also, we didn’t meet until just before their divorce was final. I wasn’t a homewrecker.
We tried to get custody of the kids after they showed up with bruises on their bottoms and lower backs and separately told us that “Momma gave us 20 licks with a belt.” The older son told us when Children’s Svcs came she lied to them and told them she does time outs with them but she doesn’t. It was a “He said, she said” situation because the bruises weren’t enough to substantiate abuse! When 2 households are deemed acceptable to care for the kids the court will order that they stay where they are.
Before we married, she tried to even take his visits away saying he abused his son, but she didn’t know I was in the house at the time and knew it was a lie. I wouldn’t have married him if it was true.

My mother-in-law is an alcoholic who goes through at least 10-20 beers a day. She thinks it’s impressive if she hasn’t had a drink before 11am, and frequently drives inebriated. On top of this, her behavior gets so erratic that sometimes it’s a bit scary. (For example, she’s thrown literal temper tantrums at my husband if he doesn’t do what she wants – she kicks the door, screams, pounds the wall, etc.)

All in all, she’s a horrible role model for children, and being I’m pregnant with my first, I’m afraid for the future. She’s incredibly demanding and pushy; if I ask her not to do something, she does it anyway and generally think she knows everything about everything, which worries me in terms of her ignoring my requests about behavior around my child.

What can I do? I want her to have a part in my child’s life, but not when she’s drinking or not taking her medication. Is there any safe way to approach this, considering she generally doesn’t listen to anyone around her?
As an additional note – she does see a doctor who gives her medication, but the problem is that she doesn’t take it (or takes it while drinking, which kind of defeats the purpose). My husband and I (and most of the other in-laws) try our best to avoid her completely when she’s drunk and have confronted her about her issues, but the woman doesn’t listen. She’s perhaps one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met.

My husband has never supported her behavior and responds to her coldly when she acts these ways – considering how she loves him so much, I thought that this in itself would be an eye-opener for her, but it seems she doesn’t want to admit that she needs to change her life around. This is why I’m concerned that she won’t change her life even if it means not being around her grandchildren. (She’ll blame us and turn it into a sob story about her, saying we deny her visits, we’re horrible parents, etc.)

My stepson took 4x his sleeping medication last night and was stumbling around, basically “wasted”. During this time he mentioned that he had been smoking pot at his girlfriend’s house. When asked if the parents knew, he said yes. When asked if the girlfriend was smoking pot, he said he didn’t have permission to tell us. (This is how far gone he was.) Of course now in the light of day he tells us that this is all untrue. He was so out of it, I actually videotaped this conversation.

My question is:

How do I call these parents? What do I say? I don’t feel like I can let my stepson go over there without dealing with this. (He spends A LOT of time there.)

Thanks for any advice. A bit of background – he came to live with us from a rehab school that his mother had sent him to so I do know that he has a history of drug/alcohol abuse.

What would you do?

Thanks -

Sick of it Stepmom – Woodinville, WA

She is hammered by noon, has little kids that are not being taken care of, the house is disgusting, her teenage kids beg her to get it together, the elementary kids are all over the place, one is failing third grade again, I was hoping the school would look into it,but they’re not… should I turn her in to cps or talk to the school counselor or mind my own business? I love these kids and take them often and afraid she will find out if I turn her in then the kids won’t have me anymore and I won’t get to see them either. Seriously, what should I do? They have no structure, constant fighting, kids are always in trouble… cps, school counselor, or mind my own business?
I tried to talk to her about it, but her stupid answer is that I don’t understand black families! I tell her that has nothing to do with it! I try to ask ‘ Don’t you want your kids to have a good future?” or “When they get older, they are going to resent you for this” and she just laughs at me and says its a black thing and I know that’s not true! I know she grew up this way, but its not fair to these kids and now that they won’t be in school for the summer, I’m really worried…

in their vehicles? I have seen about 4 cases in the past week!

I saw it on David Rocco’s show. By the way, he is such a hottie.
It suppossedly gave energy, and when it’s alcohol, it’s not what you americans drink and become dumb*****. And i don’t need your smart *** answers. By the way, Ryan – thanks. I also think it’s called Marsala.

This weekend, I FINALLY got my fiance to help around the house. He helped in the kitchen, i was wayyyyy backed up on dishes because i ran out of dishwasher soap, and didnt have a way to go get any because he has my car. He has a car (busted rim), and he got a new rim, but has yet to put a tire on it, so im stuck without a car most of the time. So anyway, i was catching up on dishes, and he cleaned the counters, swept, mopped, everything (very unlikely for him to do anything). I was suprised. Thats all he did was the kitchen. but i wasnt going to bitch because, like i said, i was suprised he even did that. Would have been nice to pitch in on all the chores in the house so i could take some of my saturday and relax. but whatever. That night, he expected oral. I hate doing oral. He said he deserved it because he was good that day. Like I said in my old post, he is addicted to oral and WoW – lol. We dont really have sex anymore. He just wants that, and pitches fits when he doesnt get it. did i mention – I HATE GIVING IT! But do sometimes when hes acting right, and i feel like hes earned it. Last time he got it was 2 weeks ago.

Ive been looking to go out with friends, maybe to a club or go shopping. I treasure time away from my kids – because i never get it. I have no me time at all. Inface, i really dont have any girlfriends anymore because i kept having to blow them off because he got pissed every tie i wanted to go off with them. So yeah – i dont really blame them for not sticking around. I think I deserve to have some time alone, and time to try and rekendle some friendships. I am a grown woman, and feels as if i shouldnt have to ask. Every time i say i want to go to Macon (hours drive) to spend time with my sister (clubbing, shopping, whatever) he says I should take the kids with me, or find someone to watch them. I spend all day with them. ALL DAY .. 24 hrs a day. 7 days a week with them. I love my kids, but lately, i see all these other moms going out and having time to themselves, and they are pretty happy. I am not happy, I have no social life, I dont let on that im that unhappy because, it will just screw everyone elses day up. When Matts not home, alls i do is cry because, back when i had a social life, i was sooo happy, ive been with matt for 4 years, havnt really went anywhere without him and the kids for about 4 years. Havnt even hung out with a friend in ove 2 years. Im not happy. When i bring it up, he saids “Im a mother now, i should put those things behind me”. Yeah, im a mother – but im also a 25 yr old woman. I thought my twenties were supposed to be a blast. This whole situation has got me so depressed. The more I spend like this, the more i cry, and the hotter my temper gets. Im getting to where im always yelling at the kids, and im having more and more emotional breakdowns. When i used to go out and had away time (i had 1 kid then, and my mom let me go out with friends and be young if i wanted, as long as I didnt go overboard with it – about once a month was fine with her) i wasnt with Matt, i was a single mother and I was VERY laid back, i was an awesome mother.

I mean, does all this have a connection, or am i just being a baby?? Should I feel this way, is it normal?

I dont know what else to say to explain this. I mean, i really dont. I just really wonder.

I sometimes dream about leaving Matt, so i could have every other weekend to do what i wanna do. Is that totally selfish. Im just not happy, and idk what to do about it. Ive tried to explain .. but he doesnt listen, he just tells me i should grow up, i dont need all that stuff and im wrong for feeling like that.

My brother has a really bad problem with drugs…He has recently told my mom that he would like to be admitted to a rehab facility, but is worried he will get his kids taken away…2 of their mothers are not around and would most likely not take custody..But, if they did would he be able to get them back once he was done with rehab?

Does anyone have any info on that situation..? What would happen to the kids? Thanks!

When I was a kid my mom would not let me hang out with certain people for obvious reasons (to her) I hated it. It was even worse in High school because she taught at my highschool. She knew all the ones who cut class, did drugs, got into fights etc. And if I was caught talking to them she would tell me never to talk to them again and don’t hang out where they go. I hated it. I was kept on a tight leash. I do realize that my mom was extreme I have no intention of being that extreme but I will tell my kids who not to be around if I see they are a bad influence. You are who your company is that is my philosophy. People also judge you by the company you keep. I really believe because of my mother is the reason I grduated with honors from high school and college,and never did any drugs or the fact that i never did binge drinking
I do realize my mom was extreme but i had no room to rebell. She brought me to and from school and taught there and had spies everywhere. So if she said don’t hang out with person X i couldn’t hang out with person X.
I don’t plan on being that strict. You guys are giving me good advice

Ok, My sister tried to commit suicide in feb. this year. She has 2 kids. I got her help and she entered a rehab facility. During the time she was there We sent her kids to Texas to live with Our mother until she got out. when she got out she went there to live with them. While being there she decided to get on drugs, not take care of her kids, etc… anyway the kids are still at my mothers, and my sister doesn’t want to be a mother to her kids, but refuses to sign over her rights. My mom is a convicted felon for drug charges that happened 15 yrs ago. she has changed her life, but i am not sure if state were to get involved if they would even consider to let the kids stay there. so my questuion is what to do with the kids? My mother is more than willing to keep the kids, but doesn’t know where to begin with the process of getting it legal… any suggestions?
I live in North Carolina. I would take the kids, but can’t take them across state lines without legal documents giving me that right.