
allright so i’m 17, and i see a shrink once a week.
At first it was Anorexia and i got to 77 pounds from 130, now its Compulsive excercising and Once a week I have a binge episode, where i can actually believe i’m trying to kill myself by overeating. I can reach 35,000 calories.
but me and my mom have been talking lately and we have been going through scenes of my life that may have not been “Normal”
Like last week: I ordered a Medium Coffee, and they gave me a large. I didnt care but all of the sudden i found myself Shrieking, Breathing fast,sobbing and throwing it all over the car interior.
A few minutes later I had repented so many times to my mom saying how sorry i was, and she understood b/c it wasnt the first time i had done stuff like this.
Many times when i order drinks i feel that in the drink someone had put something fattening in it and freak out about that. Usually thats when i throw it everywhere and have anxiety attacks.
My mom says that I tend to have no fear and take alot of risks (Like walking across the arcs of a Huge bridge, or throwing a party at my house without thinking of the consquences)
Another time, my father told me to calm down when i was overstressed thinking about my excercise for the day, so i went into the kitchen and Banged a pott against my head repeatdly till i started bleeding.
Another time, I was afraid my dad was in a bad mood and I started to flip out and had to be wrestled to the ground to control me, i had ripped off my shirt and was flopping on the floor like a fish (my mom said), breathing hard, sobbing and scratching myself.
When i get really upset i scratch myself untill i bleed with my nails and thers been times where i rip out my hair.
I have had OCD, and when i was little i had to kiss every stuft animal 12 times bbefore i went to bed. And at night i have littl rituals like kiss my dog three times, than blow three kisses to the celling to my dog in heaven, and I have to Smile before i leave a mirror, and I have to make sure the microwave is at 3:33 mins when i cook something it doesnt matter what it is. Theres alot more. I usually have an episode (like the cofee) once-twice a week.
Please help me.