We will help you get your mom off drugs!

I need some help. My brother is in drug rehab, and his dad just served my mom with custody papers. My mom is a single parent who has paid for everything for my brother his entire life. His dad owes over 28,000 in back child support, he has no license because of it, no job and lives with his girlfriend. He has been the bad influence in my brothers life, he lies, steals and does drugs. While my mom works full time, owns her own home and doesn’t even drink. My mom tried everything to get my brother help when she first felt he was slipping. Went to therapy and probation and PINS, everything and my brother continued to lie and steal and use. His dad let him get away with all of it saying that this is all HER fault. My mom is even the one paying for rehab to keep him out of jail/foster care for violating probation. And now his dad wants to sue her for custody??? If he by some crazy way wins and she has to pay child support she will loose our house. She makes just above min wage so every penny is accounted for… So she will not only lose my brother but her liscence and her home. Where is the justice in that?

Im 21 and my husband is 22. I love him with all my heart but he has been though so much in life. he’s mother(which was abusive, I mean he has iron marks on his back) and grandmother passed away within a month, later his dad confessed he was adopted(this all happen in his teens) he was kicked out of the army after 1 yr because he did not ask to go to his mothers funeral. anyway he was already doing bad in school and had many bad friends which introduced him to crack. when I met him, he quit went to a program for 8 months and has been clean for over a yr. he does smoke cig here and there not in front of me though. the thing is that he says now he is getting cravings for the crack and he needs me to help him with his thoughts. he says it happens when he gets upset or feels lonely. he says he is trying to fight it and is even looking for another program even though he has not done the drug, just so he can learn to fight those thoughts.

I dont know what to do, he says it has nothing to do with me its a part of the addiction and it’s normal he just needs my support and trust. I’m afraid that the cravings will be too strong and that he is going to run off and do it. I want to help him but dont know how to. we’re going to a church today and a friend told us about both of us joining a ministry about helping children and going to camps and stuff and he loved the idea. what should I do to help him stay off of that nasty addiction, how can I support him like he says?

I nag and fight a lot and take off my ring when we argue he says that needs to stop but can that be a reason to cause an imbalance in his brain and want crack?

okay well ever since i was little all my dad did was drink beer and other sources of alcohol. we had a bar down the street and he’d be there all day long on the weekends. now hes really abusive and my year younger brother, so hes 11, is learning from him and taking his side and being really mean. well my mom had enough so she saw other people as a break, and the were from the african descent and she really liked them. [I'm white] and they sold her drugs and she took them. one day my dad started screaming at her so badly that she drove to the point of almost killing herself but it was 2 in the morning and i heard my dad screaming at her and then he went downstairs and all i heard was this weird sound so i went and checked if she was okay, and she was on the floor not moving. i got so scared i called 911 and yeah then she went to rehab. apparently she tried to poison herself and now shes in rehab to get away from drugs and to love her life and stuff like that. well now my dad is really nosy. all he does is look at her phonee to see if she still has contact with them and stuff like that, and she stopped because I’m really close to her and i know. and today was practically torture. it was 5 in the morning and it’s like he’s trying to buy my brother because he’s never this nice to him. well anyway today at 5am he was like you son of a b*itch, stupid n*gger. and he kept callling her that. and he went downstairs ran upstairs and gave her a PUNCH like a fist one on her arm. and he’s like what now n*gger what are you going to do call all your black little friends to help you? well guess what theres going to be a f*king way and im going to shoot them all of them. and i dont care if they put me in jail or kill me but i’ll feel good about it. i don’t think he was serious he was just threating her i think. and also i heard that and i was like, what the heck dad! i saw the punch, i have every right to call the police and tell them! and my dad threw a pillow at me. and also a couple months ago, my dad put his arm around my neck, but he didn’t start chokingg but he just did that arm thing and he did it twice to me in his whole life. and to my mom, omg, he did it to her 7 times. and he’s actually choking her and my mom’s gasping for air!!! I have no clue what to do and it’s making my life really bad and i’m not racsist but my dad is =[ and also, my mom’s rehab doctor; well my mom told her our whole life and the doctor said that we need to get my younger brother out of there because he willl folllow his lead because he’ll think thats the right thing to do. he’s already acting like him by yelling and stuff. please no mean comments, just helpful ones. oh and my mom’s doctor belives my mom when my mom said my dad drove her to doing drugs and seeing other people. thanks so much!
yes im 12 only, and i know it none of my buisneess but im sort of included in this.
=/
oh and he said he doesnt love me anymore and that girls are really stupid. & he also blames me for eerything. like if my computer has a virus and he cant fix it he said that im stupid and i dont think because im just a stupid little blonde girl that only thinks about abercrombie.
yes i know my mom tried twice. but my dad always catches her starts yelling at her and says hes gonna call the police for kidnapping us. which isnt what happened. and yeah its sad=/
thanks you guys so much!!
yeah like my mom wants a divorce but my dad won’t let her. and if they get a divorce my dad wants a hold of my brother. and thats just going to make him the same way that my dad is. its like my brother doesnt see it in front of his eyes my dads buying him! like okay my dads NEVER this nice. NEVER! my mom has always been the one to take care of us,feed us, dress us, and everything. my dad was alawys at a bar. and my mom always bought everyything that my brother wanted. and now all of a sudden my dad gets like idk hes buying my little brother it seems like =[

Ok yesterday my mom wanted to talk to me about her drinking. She called me in her room and started telling me about how I told my dad I was upset with her drinking. And she kept asking me “What did you tell him!?!” and “telling him doesn’t make it any better for me and your father.” And I said, “Well who am I suppose to talk to? I don’t have anyone.” And she said “me.” Than I said “well when your drinking your not in the right mind and I can’t talk to you.” And she was like “fine I’ll give you a number to call that you can talk to people about it.” And she never did… Than she wanted me to tell her how I felt. And i said “I’m being honest. I feel really hurt and I want my mom back. I have soo many bad memories of you drinking my whole life. Like picking you up from the airport after a month of not seeing you when I was in 4th grade after you went to rehab for the first time. My hopes were so high that you would be better and you were trashed right when we got you! And when I was reallly little before all of this you drove back from New York drunk! I didn’t even know what was going on! We could have been killed. And on my 11th birthday party in front of all my friends dad had to literally drag you out of the restaurant because you drank so much. That ruined my birthday. Even this year you weren’t ok on my birthday or on Christmas pretty much everyday. I have endless really bad memories. I can never talk to you or depend on you for anything. You constantly fight with Mary (my sister) and make everyone so stressed out. I love you and want you better and support you 100% but you can’t expect me to not feel hurt.” And she was like “OH SO I RUIN EVERYTHING!” And than she started getting all defensive and angry. And than I just got really upset and walked out. And than she made me come back. And she was like “Well im doing Cyber meeting now” (Online meetings or something?) And I was like “Why can’t you just go to regular ones too?” And she was like making up excuses on how she doesn’t like them. And than she was like “WELL THAN YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR BUS TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY SO I CAN START GOING TO THE MEETINGS AT 7 IN REALLL LIFE!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU!?!” and I was like ” I promise I won’t miss the bus. I only missed it a couple times, but I really want you better so I can handle it. But how do I know your going to go to the meetings because you use to skip All the time?” And she was like ” I DON’T KNOW! How do I know your going to make the bus? I DONT!” And she like “well maybe I shouldn’t go because your never going to make the bus!!” And than I was like ” I am, I AM! stop it don’t put so much pressure on me. Don’t put your sobriety on me! I don’t want you missing a meeting and your drinking to be MY fault like your making it seem!” And than she was like “Sorry, I shouldn’t have blamed you…” and I just walked out. Like an hour later she came out and I could already tell she had drank something. Than she starts yelling at me in the kitchen when I was putting my glass in the dish washer for no reason. And she was like ” I know your not going to do everything. We already got called in by your teachers once! Your probably just going to miss the bus and be late. Maybe I should make you transfer school so you are less distracted!” and kept threatening me things that happened like months and months ago which I said HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER DRINKING! Than I just was about to leave and she started laughing saying “LOOK WHO IS DEFENSIVE NOW!” And my dad just stood there doing completely nothing…I tried to include all the important parts sorry if its really long but I don’t understand her. I can’t talk to her and I don’t know what to do.

Dear Sir:
I am not sure to send this e-mail when I have finshed it. I’m praying it makes it’s way into the right hands..I desperately need some intervention. My story is long and I apologize if I don’t tell it well but it truely comes from my heart…
In June of 2004 my husband and I took in my cousins children. 2 beautiful girls that immediatly stole our hearts. We agreed to this only because we were told the parents were giving them up for adoption. They said we had to wait for them to get out of jail to sign the papers..We trusted them. A months later the mother was released from county jail and we had to return the girls. In November of the same year and the mother called us again and asked if we could keep the children for 6 months while she went back to jail. No one else wanted them. They were 1 & 2 yrs old. Of course, we took them back gratefully. The mother ended up doing 13 months in prison on drug charges…The father did too.
My husband and I called every agency including DCFS to try to keep custody of the children and was told we were to far down the blood line to have any say in the children and that it was DCFS’s policy to clean the parents up, not to remove the children. Once again, we had to turn the children over and the mother refused to let us see them for 7 months.
In September of 2006, I get another call from the mother asking if I’ll take them and put them in school because she had no one to take care of them. Of course, I went and got them. I had them for another for another 11months.
In August of 2007, the grandfather was released from prison and reunited with the grandmother, who was also recently released from prison, decided they wanted the children back where they lived so once again, we had to return the children. 3 months later my husband and I gave up our jobs and apartment and moved to the city the girls lived in so we could at least see them. That month, the mother went back to jail, the father was released from prison and the children lived at their grandparents and we weren’t allowed to see them.
In August of 2008, my husband and I had to move where there was work and begged the mother when she got out of jail to let the kids come w/ us and we would help her find a place and get off the dope. The following month, the mother was busted smoking crack and the children were placed with the grandparents thru Luthern Services.We have not seen them since!!! We have been approved for visitation over a year ago but denied the visits because their Grandparents doesn’t want us to have anything to do with them so DCFS abided by their wishes. I can’t understand why the children were placed with them in the first place. They both have extensive histories of prison, violence and drug abuse just like the parents.
I recently called Luthern Services and was informed that the grandparents want to adopt which means we will never get to see the children we have loved and raised all these years. Don’t we have any rights? I have called agency after agency for the last 5 years trying to adopt these kids. I have followed all the rules and depended on the system not to fail us or the children but once again it has done just that!!! Can we contest the adoption and file ourselves? This is so unfair to us and the children. If you can get them away from the grandparents and convince them you wont tell, they will tell you the want to live with us. Each time we have had to turn them over they had to be pried out of our arms. Isn’t there anyone out the who can help us? All of us!!! Imagine loving and raising 2 children as your own all this time then be denied of seeing them ever again. This is just wrong on so many levels!!! Even if we cannot contest the adoption, is there anyway we can legally get some type of visitation? We are desperate. Everyday without them is a living hell!!! It’s like part of us is lost. Please help us or at least point us in the right direction for help. We have about 6 months before the adoption and we don’t know what else to do!!!

Thank You,
I have been doing internet searches for weeks but can’t seem to get anywhere. Just more phone #s of people who “can’t help” us. I was hoping to come across someone here that might have the right answers, not to cry “boo hoo” !!!
I forgot to add than I live in Central Illinois and I have called several attorneys and the few that will concider want huge retainers and all the others don’t want to fight DCFS. I have been calling state agencies for the last 5 years trying to get these children removed from that environment.

My mom was a 40 year alchoholic, addicted to percocets, then taken off all cold turkey. She also had a broken neck for a year. She started having sezures and hallucinations. They now have her on zyprexa(highest dose) and epival(highest dose). She was never psycotic before. My nana had died too which set extreme grief for my mom (she soley care for her alone for 20 yrs)I feel because of an accident at the nursing home(windows were not regulated, mom fell out broke her back) they medicate her up.They don’t listen when I say you’ve ripped her off one set and put her on another set of drugs. They say she is bipolar and psycotic just never diagnosed(for 62 yrs?! labeling is dangerous see?!) I want to see if I can find her. Yes she has braindamage but doping her like a zombie will never heal her. She is a very strong person, always has been. Can she mend? Is she being too medicated unnecissarily? Doctors stick together–I do not want a court case–I just want my mother back! Thanks

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