Ok, I am 16 years old and currently studying ICT, Physics and Maths at A-Level. I don’t really know what happened but it seems that almost everything in my life is running into the ground, for example: my grades have dropped, my relationship with my mother is becoming worse and worse, and the only thing I enjoy in my life is my friends, who my mother always complains about.
When I was younger I was considered very smart and pretty much had everything going for me, that was, outside my family. My life at home was a never-ending hell for me. When I was nine my dad moved away to England for a better job and to get away from my mother, so the violence died down, for a while. In that year I made a very close friend in school. We were inseparable for a year and he became my first true friend. But around Christmas time when I was in P6, he moved to Australia, and I was devastated but managed to remain in contact until he visited little over a year later and he was able to stay in Northern Ireland. I managed to leave Primary school with an A in my transfer test and got into a “great grammar school”.
I found it difficult to settle into the school as I had always found it difficult to make friends with people and I was the only one from my school to go this “great school”. Fortunately enough, I managed to make a few good friends who stuck up for me whenever someone tried to single me out for being quiet. In the summer after my third year at secondary school, my dad came home to visit and he went on a rampage after drinking and the aftermath resulting my mother attempting suicide and my dad having a realisation. There hasn’t been a single incident like this since, but I’m not sure I ever got over the sight.
That was the same summer when I started smoking, but I made a few more friends in and outside school. However the majority of my friends in school were ‘smokers’ or people who disliked the school and I was tarred with the same brush by the school. Early into my fourth year at school, I stayed off school for 6 days caught out. I was punished with a 3 day suspension (Which seemed illogical in my eyes) and I have never figured out why I did it. I did the same thing again later in the year around the time of my birthday but this time it was due to coursework. It was stupid I know, but I didn’t think that I had any choice at the time. A couple of weeks later and my friends and I got smoking in school and we were detained at breaktimes and luchtimes were we did more work. (Basically we got a five minute lunch and I personally was forced to come into school 1 hour early to prevent me from staying off.) I faced a 7:30 – 3:30 day with a five minute break from work. Two weeks into this detainment, I cracked and went for a smoke at lunchtime with a friend. We didn’t get caught smoking but I got another three day suspension for “Consistent infringement of school rules.” At the end of this year my best friend in school left and once again i was devastated, and this one still hasn’t returned.
Fifth year went smoothly until right before my exams. Several people in my year and a few of my friends were doing the drug mephedrone before it was made illegal. They were doing it inbetween classes and even asking for toilet breaks to satisfy their addiction. I personally tried it a few times but never touched it in school. One day, when I was off school ‘sick’ (Doing Coursework), a friend of mine got caught high in the school, and his parents took his phone and blew the whistle. One friend of mine was very nearly expelled for dealing the drug, but because it was legal, he managed to turn to the decision. Anyway, the Head of Pastoral Care in the school called me into her office and directly asked me if I had ever done the drug in school. I said no. She kept asking me and asked me to tell the truth, but she eventually seemed satisfied and I was allowed to go back to class. When i went home that day, my mum ripped into me because she’d had a call from the school. Apparently, I had admitted to taking the drug in school but the school were not going to punish me. I swore to my mum that I hadn’t and had never said that I’d done the drug and she trusted me. This was right before my exams and my mind was thrown. I couldn’t study properly anymore and I just managed to scrape enough points form my GSCEs to get back into school.
Upon my return the principal made a comment about not working and that I should go to SERC (tech), and I was made to sign a ridiculous contract which no-one else had to sign. It said i’d be expelled for smoking or being with smokers in or out of school in school uniform, and mentioned substance abuse. Inevitably, I got caught smoking and was asked to leave. My dad fought like hall and somehow managed to get me back into school. Now I’m stuck with ICT, a subject that I don’t understand as it’s about business and English, and I’m a sciency person. I had no choice in that matter and the coursework has piled up. My relationship with my mother is looking bleak and I am quite unabloe of doing this shitty coursework as I don’t understand it, and my teachers are terrible at explaining things to me.
I’m sorry for the long rant, but I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me. If you need anymore more details, please ask away.
Upon my return the principal made a comment about not working and that I should go to SERC (tech), and I was made to sign a ridiculous contract which no-one else had to sign. It said i’d be expelled for smoking or being with smokers in or out of school in school uniform, and mentioned substance abuse. Inevitably, I got caught smoking and was asked to leave. My dad fought like hall and somehow managed to get me back into school. Now I’m stuck with ICT, a subject that I don’t understand as it’s about business and English, and I’m a sciency person. I had no choice in that matter and the coursework has piled up. My relationship with my mother is looking bleak and I am quite unable of doing this shitty coursework as I don’t understand it, and my teachers are terrible at explaining things to me.
I’m sorry for the long rant, but I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me. If you need anymore more details, please ask away.
Awesome Girl: A-level is what we study in the UK, I don’t have an A in it, as I have haven’t completed then yet. It’s something we can study after we turn sixteen. I think it’s also called a General Certificate of Education (GCE). Also I’m actually at AS-level. (Year before A-level)
