We will help you get your mom off drugs!

I really need to know what to do here because I can’t seem to get the proper help from the state or from other places I’ve called. Main problem is money as well as the mothers ability to lie and deny.

The problem is me and my wife were married for 3 years, together for 5. We were on oxycontin for a year and I got off of it because I didn’t want to stay on them and continue being sick. I just got medicine and quit, and she was going to do the same. She did not, but she also had legitimate back pain and had a prescription. She did say she was weening her self down.

A year later she is still doing them and even more than before. she had resorted to shooting them up for a while. She then supposedly went into the ER twice, once in each county near here, for drugs because she ran out and then spent 3 days in a rehab type place because she was going through bad withdrawals before her prescription was filled. She was then removed from the pain meds in march she told me and had to go cold turkey and one month after that she is now back to shooting them up, but says she’s not addicted and is doing them recreationally. She has physically shown me the track marks on her wrist, not her bicep. They are on her wrist and totally visible if you look at them. Her own mother even seen and felt them.

Now I’ve called DCF twice on her about this because she will leave the child at home with her grandma and not say anything, or leave notes before the child wakes up. She spanks her with a 5 gallon paint mixing stick because she said last time she used her hand that she broke a blood vessel in her pinky. She lives in a bad neighborhood now and has told me that she knows the 2 people across the street deal drugs (surprise! she knows and I wonder why) and that she has heard 2 times of the back door handle being jiggled like someone trying to break in. She loans her car out to drug dealers because it’s about to be repossessed and she figures that if they get arrested in it and it’s taken who cares, she scored pills or money. I could go on for a while but this is the more severe stuff. Her grandmother is upset that she leaves the child with her and that she will loan her car out.

Now the problem is that she is a great liar and good at deception. I’m really starting to think she’s a sociopath for her behavior over the last year. I dunno if she was always this way but she has gotten worse over the year. She had me and her mother arrested for battery. With me she thought I was cheating on her because of her own cheaters paranoia and attacked me. The arrest is gone, never went to court because my lawyer dealt with the state attorney. She lies about stuff she has shown and told me because she’s so paranoid I’m recording everything in person or on the phone. She swore I had our house bugged before we moved out of it and wouldn’t speak of anything unless we went out in the yard that she could get in trouble in court for like lying in court or her drug use.

She told my best friends gf she was still doing the drugs and that if we broke up again she’d tell the state I molested my daughter. She did try it but it didn’t work. She lies and lies and lies some more and always seems to get away with it.

When she was on drugs and dealt with dcf, she had a prescription but did way more so she always had a reason for having it in her system. Now she’s clean and I know she’s shooting up and she still shows up clean but she also isn’t getting it as much but craves for it like when she first got hooked and said the other day to her mom she almost sold some GI pills that looked the same because she was desperate. However now that she isn’t addicted where she will get sick, she still has visible track marks on her but nothing seems to be done by the state about it and the state always seems to rush things and doesn’t let you tell them the whole story in detail as I can do here.

My 4 year old daughter never wants to go back to her mother when I bring her back. She immediately gets depressed looking and says I don’t want to see mommy, I don’t love mommy, mommies mean, mommy hits me, etc. She will not really talk about it with me much because she just gets really quiet when I ask or starts saying what she sees trying to change the subject. The most I ever got her to say was “Mommy is mean and she hurts me when she hits me and I don’t want to see Mommy” It’s a struggle to give her back to the mother and always results in me staying for hours to calm her down because she doesn’t want me to leave. My wife has admitted to hitting her at least every 3 days because she acts up.
She has even called her own mother and said that she doesn’t know what to do with the baby and I would only do things like go get groceries or take a trip to best buy.

Really the list goes on and on but this is a good summary of the situation. I’ve tried to
What can I do? nothing seems to work. DCF doesn’t ever do Sphit and the courts don’t seem to care without video proof. But I have about 50 pictures of her passed out all over from her drugs. She refuses to admit she has a problem still and says she’s a good mother. She has moved 3 times in under 3 months because of her drugs and being kicked out. No one can see this but me and her close family and I was told a march-man act won’t work because she can’t be proven a danger to herself or others. I’ve tried once with a baker act for her behavior since she admits to me she was bi polar. I really am clueless on how to stop her and get her help. I don’t want to take my daughter from her, she did it to me for a few months and it wasn’t a happy time. I just want to have at least 50% custody like now but have her a normal mother who isn’t running around for smack.
I am not with her, we got back for 2 months and that ended with the arrest because she was STILL on drugs and I confronted her about it.

The only reason the divorce isn’t active is because of how she lied to get more custody so I stopped that dead in it’s tracks and proceeded to get more evidence, which the judge didn’t care about. Pictures to a judge I was told don’t seem to work because it shows a small moment of what is going on. But the pictures of her passed out over months time span I guess don’t show she’s an addict passing out sitting up all the time and sprawled across the bed funny.

As I said the biggest part right this moment is the money. I’m so broke I can barely get by because of saturation in my market. I want to get a PI and find out. I would love to tell the cops about the drug dealings but I dunno if they’d stake her out for that. friend of hers called once and told them where she was once and they couldn’t pull her over cuz she drove perfect.
I am also not letting my daughter go back because I have to be tough and tell her to get help. I know at this point if I gave her back that she wouldn’t let me see her for a while.

It’s funny she can tell me no but I can’t say no.

She uses my daughter as a pawn claiming she’s all she has left. The truth is she has nothing because what I didn’t take in the split she sold and spent the money and then wants me to pay her more. Most of the stuff she sold was mine anyway while I wasn’t there.

My beautiful, smart, funny daughter in law has been living with my husband and I ever since her husband, my son, was sentenced to 8 years in a fed. penitentiary. Unlike most mothers & daughters in law, we have a very close relationship and I love her as if she were one of my biological children. Since my son’s incarceration she has slipped into a deep depression and exhibits extremely self destructive behavior. She drinks heavily from the time she wakes up until she passes out and its recently become clear that she is using heroin several times a day intravenously. I don’t know the extent of the heroin addiction but after finding her passed out on the kitchen floor covered in her own vomit, I noticed extensive track marks and bruising on both of her arms while cleaning her up. She used to light up every room she entered but now its as though a storm cloud follows her everywhere. While she hasn’t implicitly threatened suicide, she tells me she ‘just wants to die’ and one night asked me ‘why wont you just let me go?’ I know this is a lot of extra probably unnecessary detail, but I want there to be no doubt that I am doing the right thing by trying this avenue to get her the help she needs. She is a danger to herself and if she continues down this path I know she will die…I need to get her help but I have always been told I can’t force somebody to help themselves when they really don’t want to. Is it possible to get her medical power of attorney and force her into rehab? I know some of you are probably going to tell me to try tough love and to throw her out, or that I am ‘enabling’ her by giving her a place to destroy herself, but I can not in good conscience throw her out.

My husband and I live a very comfortable living and we have two children one is in college and the other one is 15,they ae both girls.My 15 year old girl and I have a pretty close mother and daughter relationship and she is gorgeous and looks just like her father.I love shopping for her because she has such a cute figure and I just get excited while picking out clothes for her.I am a retired surgeon so most of my time is spent as a housewife and I quit my job once I had our second child.So basically I have a lot of time on my hands.The problem is that I think I’m addicted to shopping for my daughter.Maybe once a twice a week I’ll go shopping for her and bring home at least 10 outfits and when she gets home she usually likes all but two or three.I always do the shopping without her because of course she doesn’t want to be seen shopping with “mommy”.I usually spend around $300 a shopping trip and my husband gets really mad at this.So how do I limit myself? thanks

My friends daughter who is only 14 is already addicted to alcohol and drugs she smokes pot and downs vodka shots every day. She has been suspended from school because of drug use and being drunk in class. She is in denial and refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem. Her health is starting to get bad already because of all the strain she is putting on her body by taking in these harmful substances especaially the quantity she takes in each day. She was at a doctor and her blood test revealed elevated liver enzymes (assuming this is caused by her excessive alcohol intake) she still refuses to quit and her mom is very worried she might get ill or die if she keeps at this road. She is getting the booze and the drugs from her friends at school who have fake ID’s that say they are older and use that to buy alcohol. She refuses to attend rehab and her mom is afraid she will die soon because of her already bad health if no one stops her from what she is doing to her poor body immedaitly. She is refusing to attend rehab and to get better and stop using drugs and alcohol. What can be done?? Can she be forced into rehab??? She’s a minor so I think something can be done.
P.S. the girls mom is worried about the girl sick because she fears she might soon loose her life if nothing is done to stop her from killing herself. She is always crying because she is very worried about her daughter.
Yes you are right she is a minor so therefore she is not an adult she can’t decide for herself. I think her mother should call the police and have them come and pick her up and take her to rehab whether she wants to go or not. I mean if she starts to fight a cop I am sure they’ll deal with her and make her go anyways. So yeah the friends mother has to do something even if it means calling the cops and having her taken to rehab by physical force and in handcuffs.

So, my mom and I have an extremely bad past. She is a drug addict and has been since I was 5 years old. It had gotten so bad towards the end that she was beating me and starving me, and I was eventually taken by CPS and placed into foster care. I went through so much as a kid and I still resent her for making me give up my childhood for her habit.

My mom served 3 years in prison for drug abuse, domestic child abuse, and neglect. She also did 90 days of community service. She came out of prison and hasn’t gotten much worse. She’s still a drug addict, but she’s working and she has a place to live. I’m hoping that once I have my daughter and settle down, I can help her.

Recently, my mom contacted me and asked me if she could meet my daughter when she’s born. I have at the most, 16 days until my daughter gets here. Even though my mom has hurt me and taken away a lot from me, I wouldn’t be the strong woman I am today without her. And I still remember who she was before drugs entered her life. My mom is still down inside her, somewhere. I still love my mom, and I really want Olivia to meet her. But, my parents are completely against it. They think that a 17 year old young woman shouldn’t have to deal with having her own baby and worrying about a 34 year old woman.

I just don’t know what to do in this situation. I mean, what would you do?
Okay, no. Did I ask for you to judge me for my age? NO. I asked a completely different question and if you don’t answer it, you WILL be reported. If you don’t like it, don’t answer my question and leave. I asked for an honest opinion and answer. Not to be judged as a mother or a human being. My daughter and I will be just fine and I will say nothing else on the subject.
@DayDreamGalaxy: Aw, thank you so much. You have the best answer on this page. You answered my question and wasn’t rude. Ugh, I hate people sometimes! Thanks. I know.. I don’t ever want her to grow up, but I know she will. ):

and found pot last week and confronted her with it. She is angry with me. She is 21…lives with me…. She spent time in rehab and went thru tons of counseling for her addictions……..Was I wrong to look in her purse? I smelled pot a few weeks ago in her room which prompted me to look…she claimed to have kept it in her purse. … single mom

now my question is i want to fight for my granddaughter and need to know to go about it…my 17 yr old is on drugs and is drinking she lives at home with me but wants to move out and i am fearing for my granddaughter saftey..my daughter has a boyfriend whom she puts first and is also drinking and doing drugs…ive asked my daughter to go rehab but she is refusing to go and i feel like i dont know what i can do without getting c.a.s involved…….how would i go about getting my getting custudy of her..and how can i prove that she is unfit(because she is)right now my granddaughter is fine because she is with me but when my daughter moves out i feel she wont be….help me

My sister is not a drug addict or alcholic etc… he just makes much more money than her and they lived a few blocks from each other. He promissed it didn’t mean a thing who has residential custody since they shared her daughter equally. Now he re-married and is relocating to Florida with their child. The baby is only 3years old and a little girl. Little girls need their natural mothers! What can she do? She hired an attorney, much she doesn’t have his type of money.

My sister is not a drug addict or alcholic etc… he just makes much more money than her and they lived a few blocks from each other. He promissed it didn’t mean a thing who has residential custody since they shared her daughter equally. Now he re-married and is relocating to Florida with their child. The baby is only 3years old and a little girl. Little girls need their natural mothers! What can she do? She hired an attorney, much she doesn’t have his type of money.

My sister is not a drug addict or alcholic etc… he just makes much more money than her and they lived a few blocks from each other. He promissed it didn’t mean a thing who has residential custody since they shared her daughter equally. Now he re-married and is relocating to Florida with their child. The baby is only 3years old and a little girl. Little girls need their natural mothers! What can she do? She hired an attorney, much she doesn’t have his type of money.

when i was 5 to 11 my mom gave me an alcohol bottle to help me go to sleep, was that the right choice?

p.s. she stopped because my dad said it was unnatural.

My daughter is a recovering drug addict. She spent 7months in jail, and 2yrs, in home of hope. She finally completed the program. It took her longer because she decided to run off a couple of times. Anyway my husband and I have custody of her three children. She is on probation untill Nov, 2009. She has a probation appointment on the 9th of this month. She moved back in with us April 29th. She has not one time opened her n/a book, 12step book or go to any meetings. She doesn’t pay attention to her children. She came back and this house has been total hell. All she wants to do is read her novals or talk on the phone. And she loves yelling at her children. She does not take responsibility for anything she does or not do. This past weekend she made plans to go to a friends house and was suppose to meet up with her sponser and hit a couple of meetings. That was all one big lie. Friday night she choose to smoke pot, and do cocaine. Now she feels because she told us that everything is okay. I told her she needs to go back in rehab, and she needs to change her way of thinking and to figure out why she choose dto do what she did. She feels all she need to do is start going to n/a meetings couple times a week and do her books and she will be okay. I do not agree with this at all. What are your opinions? I would like to hear from recovering and non addicts. I need opinions from both sides. My first responsibility is keeping my grandchildren safe. I love my daughter dearly but I need to stay strong here. Thank you
I thank everyone who gave advice. We do have custody of her children. It has been two years now. I will do what it takes to protect them. My daughter is 27yrs. old. Yes alot of you are right, we do need help, we are enabling her, she has to want to change herself, she needs into rehab, I do not have the strenght to fight with her on a daily basis for her to do what is right. Thank you all again.

I’m a 17 year old daughter of an alcoholic mother with type 1 diabetes. Her alcoholism caused my father to divorce her and now my step father who is most likely an alcoholic is the only one bringing in money and continues to buy her alcohol, even when she refuses to leave the house. Lately i’ve gotten very frustrated with her drinking and her refusal to even try to stop. I find her drunkenness to be embarrassing in public and when i bring friends or my boyfriend over. I don’t really know what to do anymore because i have no ability to change her and i can’t get out for at least another year. if anyone has any advice for me it would be much appreciated.
thank you so much for your help. i’ve tried to talk to some of her family but she’s done so much to push them away that no one really wants to deal with her. my father has tried to do a lot for her, even after the divorce but to no avail.

What should a mother do when her husband advises her to allow her ten-year-old daughter to drink a beer at home, when her parents are around? In the United States it is illegal for a person under the age of 21 to consume alcohol, but this is more common than you think. The cops do not care as long as this is not done in public.

So I am a 30 year old male and the girl in question is 24. She (lets call her mary) and I just had our 2nd date and she told me that mary’s mother was a severe alcoholic when mary was growing up. She mentioned that it was really bad and her mother moved out of the house when mary was jusr 12yrs old. Even though Mary seems really nice, and seems to have dealt with this issue emotionally…I wonder that there will be some personaility issue down the road. Any help?

so I thought this ” boy” loved me and wanted to be with me and our family ” forever ” but turns out he didn’t want to be. Before we even had my daughter he used to choke me, push me, and he stopped the second time we were together but even when I was pregnant and after he grabs my wrist to hard and twists them sometimes when im angry. He kept leaving for days at a time to his parents without even asking about our baby. He finally left after 3 weeks of doing that on and off a week ago. He never wanted to take full responsibility. He got fired 2 days after she was born and hasn’t had the itemtions of getting another one. The eviroment which he lives now is unsafe. His family drinks costantly they do pot and crack and they all smoke in the house. I know if when we visited them I wasn’t there to make sure my girl was safe her father would just hand her off to his mother weather she’s wasted or high off of drugs. He never even makes sure noone smokes around her too. I remember 2 weeks after she was born him and his grandma had the baby in the car and when I came out of the store his gramma was smoking!! In the car with my 2 week old!! And he didn’t even notice! How do u not notice that? I was furious. And he never once cared about her safty around his alcoholic druggie family. I was the one who told them no smoking in the house and no drinking and if they want to hold her they have to be sober cuz I don’t want them trippin or soMething. So today he said he was going to take me to courtfor joint. There’s no way he could even get joint legal custody becuz he doesn’t even know how to take care of himself or make disisions for himself. All he’s been doing is playing video games all day since he left me. Don’t get me wrong he lives the baby he just doesn’t want to be a responsable dad 24/7 . Also about the abusive ways I have a letter that he wrote while I was pregnant saying ” sorry I used to hurt u physically now I hurt u mentally….” I could use that to win sole legal/ physical custody right? I don’t mind if he visits but I don’t want him to say what happened to her cuz he doesn’t think of her saftey. And I don’t want his parents to have anything to do with her. They have never liked me they are pot/ crack/ pill poppin druggies and alcoholics. They are assholes when they drink and we simply do not get along. So is there a chance I can get sole custody and make it so his parents have nuttin to do with her? I don’t think alcoholic drug using grandparents are exactly in her best intrest.

I am a single mother who lives with my boyfriend and we are beside ourselves dealing with my rebellious and hateful teenage daughter.

By age 13 she was OUT OF CONTROL. And it as gotten worse ever since. She was out with her friends, drinking, doing drugs and having unprotected sex. She screams at me , calls me a stupid whore and tells me how much she hates me every day. She blames me for bringing her into this world and for her not having a father. She calls my boyfriend a loser and curses at us constantly.

She will be 15 soon and already has a reputation in our town for being a bad person and a troublemaker. I do not know what to do or where this all came from.

This started in middle school. She was suspended for giving the boys blojobs in the bathroom , fighting , skipping class and finally expelled when caught with marijuana at school. The school refused to take her back and we transferred here to an ESE school where she started meeting worse people and from there it all went down.

This is really all her friends fault. You should see the people she calls her friends. They are teenage drug users, punks and losers. Many have been arrested and dropped out of school and use drugs. She is making all D’s and F’s in school and refuses to do her homework and is always sent to ARC!.

She was arrested last year with her friends at the mall for stealing and we have been in court ever since. She is also now started going to clubs and drinking and having sex. She say she has a fake ID but I can’t understand how she is able to get in because she looks like a teenage girl! I call every club in town and they say are sorry there is nothing they can do. This is thier fault these club owners should be put in jail!!! Nobody is enforcing these under age laws. Even when I was young they had fake ID’s. I had my daughter at 17 so I remember it was not that long ago.

We also caught her partying smoking pot in the house with her friends. They skipped school came TO OUR HOUSE and used drugs. After that I AGAIN put her in a county funded drug rehab center for teens she caught having sex with one of the boys in the dormatory. Within 2 weeks she was back to her ways.

Her grandmother (who has also been helping us out) got me a phone listner I have been listening into her phone calls when she is at the house and I am horrified! When I confronted her she found out and we had a huge fight she assulted me and my boyfriend had to restain her. She ran away from the house for 2 weeks and we could not find her. Finally the police brought her home. She was staying with 3 older boys in an apartment!

There is much more that I could talk about but am I not going to go into it. I will have a neverus break down and cry. I somtimes think this is my fault and wish I never had her. She blames me for not having a father and is very hateful towards me when this one subject comes up. Her father did not want me to have her and when I refused to get an abortion he broke up with me and does not speak to us. He only pays his child support.This is not my fault. I try and explain to her and she doesnt listen.

Is thier any other parents going through this please help. What are we to do? I cannot just kick her out. I dont know what to do. I want to help my daughter but she is out of control. Please help me I need advice. I do not know what else to do. 8(

My step father is an alcoholic and he has never been a nice guy to me and my siblings. I am 28, my sibs are 26 and 20. My mother stays at home, and babysits my kids (2 and 10) when they’re not in school. During one day, my step father took my 2 year old daughter to their farm and proceeded to drink beer and whiskey until he was drunk. My mother came to the farm to check on them and found him drunk and cursing with my daughter. He has had many violent episodes during his drinking binges in the past so this scared me. I have kept my kids from him and their farm ever since. I allow my mom to visit my kids at my house, but my step father is not allowed around me or my kids. I have forgiven my step father, but have chosen to keep him out of our lives. Is that fair to my mom?

BREWSTER – Members of an immigration-reform group formed in the wake of 9/11 came to Brewster yesterday to decry the recent deaths of a mother and daughter who police say were killed by an illegal immigrant driving drunk.Members of 9/11 Families for a Secure America called for tougher enforcement of immigration laws in the wake of the June 8 deaths of Lori Donohue, 37, and her daughter, Kayla, 8. The two were struck, police said, by a truck driven by Zacaria Conses-Garcia as they were leaving the girl’s dance class.

The deaths have united many in the community in their opposition to drunken driving and illegal immigration.

Authorities said that Conses-Garcia, 35, was in the country illegally from Guatemala and that he was driving without a license and with a blood-alcohol content nearly twice the legal limit when he ran over the Donohues.

He is being held without bail at the Putnam County jail, charged with two counts of aggravated homicide.

Ed Kowalski, a director of 9/11 Families, and Peter Gadiel, its president and co-founder, blamed the Donohues’ deaths on lax enforcement of the law.

“The recent deaths of Lori Donohue and her 8-year-old daughter Kayla would not have occurred if Zacaria Conses-Garcia had not entered the country illegally, been employed illegally and allowed to drive,” said Kowalski, who got involved in 9/11 Families after his niece, Elizabeth Butler, 17, of North Salem, was raped and murdered in June 2005 by an illegal immigrant she met while working at a Croton Falls market.

Conses-Garcia has been in the country for several years and worked on horse farms in Florida and North Salem.

The Ford F350 truck he drove is registered in Florida to Valerie Renihan, a northern Westchester horse trainer who, through an attorney, denied giving him permission to use it. Renihan had employed him in the past and leased a Tonetta Lake house where he lived.

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Kowalski praised the efforts of Putnam County District Attorney Adam Levy to increase the charges against Conses-Garcia and have him held without bail, but called on Levy to do more.

He said authorities should further investigate to ensure that Conses-Garcia is who he claims to be, that they should determine if the registered owner of the truck also holds its title, and to investigate if Renihan broke any laws by employing him.

“Every employer of an illegal is a co-conspirator in any crime committed by that illegal,” he said.

Gadiel, a Kent, Conn., resident, formed 9/11 Families after his son, James, a 23-year-old assistant trader for Cantor Fitzgerald, died in the attacks on the World Trade Center.

He believes his son and others who died on Sept. 11, 2001, would still be alive if the country properly enforced its immigration laws.

Gadiel said that although some media outlets, including The Journal News, have described his organization’s members as being angry, he said they have a right to feel that way.

“We are angry because people are dying,” he said.

Patti Hupp of Brewster had organized marches in the village after the Donohue tragedy to bring attention to drunk driving and illegal immigration.

“My community has become a haven for hiring illegal workers and for public drunkenness,” Hupp said. “Enough is enough.”http://www.lohud.com/article/2009906240333