How does the process of child support work?

Sunday, October 30th, 2011

My husband ran off almost 2 months ago. He has done this before. He is a video game and possible prescription drug addict and lives with his sisters ex husband, but also sees his mom alot. He doesn’t want to go to work and works a commission job. We have one 14 mo old son that he has seen once since he ran off. There is an online form for my state that I can fill out to request child support. If he doesnt have the money will they just not make him pay? He wont speak to me, should I warn him first?

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Is it a bad idea to have a child with someone with a serious history of mental illness in their family?

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Mother was bipolar, father committed suicide, brother has schizoaffective disorder, sister is a drug addict. My sister’s husband seems totally normal, but she’s scared of how their kids could turn out. We have a history of depression in our own family.

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At what age will you let your child drink at holidays or the occasional dinner?

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

Will you wait until they’re 21?
Or let them drink earlier?
Do you think supervised drinking at a “young” age will lead to irresponsible party drinking or alcoholism later? Or the reverse?

My parents would serve me wine at holiday gatherings starting when I was 15 and it was never a big deal growing up; my husband’s family was like this too, granted this was in London 25 years ago, but still, it seems here in the US everyone is so uptight about drinking.
We’ve raised our daughter the same way (she’s just turned 17), a glass of wine or a beer on occasion, like when we go out, or a cocktail at family gatherings. The other day the mother of one of her friends called to chastise us and gave us a parenting lesson. Now I wonder if we’re being irresponsible or naive, unintentionally giving her permission to go out and get shitfaced? (I know she drinks outside of home, and I’m fine with that. It’s part of being a teenager… or am I wrong to think that, too?)

What are other parents’ views?

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Should an only child leave his out of country job to tend to alcoholic father? The son is in early twenties.?

Friday, September 16th, 2011

The father (a physician) has had recurrent bouts with severe alcoholism. He has several DUIs. Is on probation with his professional career. Disapears into his home for day and becomes so ill we wonder if he’ll survive. The son worries sick because he feels he is all his father has and he should be wih him taking care of him. The mother ( his ex-wife/my sister) found it impossible to handle and left but the son feels unconditionally bound to the problem. She feels powerless as to how to counsel her son. She does not want her son to put his life on hold and leave the job he just began as a teacher overseas. However, his father can’t seem to pull it together and is in the midst of another episode. The situation seems so grave and has ben a burden to my nephew for years!
Is it possible to make someone enter a facility against the persons will. I agree, the son would be so relieved to know his fathe rwas getting the treatment he needs. But, ho wcan he make his fatehr eneter a facility?

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In australia can a parent go to court and get power of attorney over their adult child?

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

In australia can a parent go to court and get power of attorney over their adult child?
my mild intellectually disabled friend has decided to move out of home he’s 24 doesn’t always make the best financial choices sometimes and drinks a lot border-lining on alcoholism because his parents insist on controlling his life, they give him little or no say in anything and make decisions and choices for him that he gets no say in, they don’t listen to him which is why he wants to move out so he can be independent.

he’s now telling me that because he has decided to move out on his own his parents have decided to take him to court to get power of attorney.

can they do that?
is there any basis to their argument if they base their reason on his disability?
can the fact that they take money off him and give him very little to spend and his money is placed in his mother’s name and she won’t give it to him even though she promised to when he hit 21 be used as an argument in his defence?
could it also be used in his defence that the reason he can’t handle money is because he really hasn’t had any (see point above) to learn how to control it?

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What psychological effects can a father have on a child?

Friday, September 9th, 2011

What psychological effects can a father that is emotionally unavailable have on a male child. The father is an alcoholic that often argues and beats the mother when drunk in front of his kids. He never talks to the kids. How can this affect a male child in the future?

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why do doctors try and blame the mother if a child is born premature?

Saturday, August 27th, 2011

when my daughter was born at 24 weeks the doctors said my wife had drunk during her pregnancy the baby was tested and no and was clean then they changed their tune. During her second pregnacy a hormone defficiancy was found to be the reason for her difficulties with pregnancy. my wife has never drank in 11 years i have never seen her take a drink. to this day she blames herself for our daughters disabilities

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is it possible i was sexually abused as a child?

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

i’m a 14 year old girl, and lately i’ve been feeling like i might have been sexually abused when i was younger. i don’t know why i didn’t consider it before, because when i think back to the things i used to do, i feel like something must have happened.
i was completely potty trained from ages 2-4, but when i was 5 or 6 i started wetting the bed again, and sometimes peeing my pants, and that continued on until i turned 12, when i stopped. it’s very confusing to me why i would be completely potty trained for 3 years, and then suddenly… not?
another strange thing is i used to enjoy acting like a baby at my mom’s house, but not at my dad’s (they’ve been separated since i was 2). i would ask her to run my bath, dry me, bring me food, make my bed, clean my room, basically just baby me, while at my dad’s i had been having my baths by myself from about age 4, i ate my food at the table, made my bed by myself from age 8, always cleaned my room by myself, but once i was at my mom’s i acted like a 2 year old, talking in a baby voice, making her do everything for me or i would throw a tantrum because i felt threatened, and this continued on until a couple years ago.
when i was about 4 years old i started acting out sexual scenes with my stuffed animals, making them touch me, say sexual things to me, and that continued until i was about 9 or 10.
i also have a lot of issues with eating and body image, i’ve had binge eating disorder since i was 10 years old, and sometimes i get the urge to make myself throw up, not necessarily because i’ve eaten too much, but usually when i feel panicked, and making myself throw up calms me down.
i also don’t remember very much from age 4 to age 9, i only have a couple memories.
anyway, what set this off was about a month ago me and my mom were talking and we realized i didn’t remember huge things from my childhood, such as places i used to go every day for years, or people i knew very well, and i’m now wondering, is it possibly i was sexually abused, even if i don’t remember it?

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Can I receive assistance from child services if i file for temporary custody?

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

The child is my 2 year old third cousin, I am in New York (Bronx County) and the child is in another county in the southwest region of New York state. She is my cousin through way of her father which has been incarcerated for over 2 years (repeat offender)

So here is some brief information on the situation. The little girls mom has been in and out of rehabilitation battling alcoholism for over 25 years. She already has 2 older children removed from her care many years ago. About a year ago, the child was placed in foster care since mom had a relapse. I found out 5 months later at which point i got involved to try to foster her while mom received the care she needed to eventually get her back. My family and I (I have a girlfriend of 4 years and a step daughter who is 5 and a half) have made several trips to inquire about her case and situation and most importantly, to try to motivate “mom” and spend time with the little girl.

Since my 2 year old cousin has been with her current foster mother for a going on a year in a couple of months and due to the fact, that mom is not showing as much progress as she should, i am thinking of filing for custody before her foster man has rights to adopt her and frankly, can do and take my cousin away from all of us.

My question is, when i file for custody, can any of the counties assistst me financially with the baby. I’m the only one working currently and my though i make “decent” money, i have entirely too many expenses to take on the additional responsibility of a child. I’m torn though because i know she belongs with family.

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What can I do for this child?

Saturday, July 30th, 2011

I have recently adopted a four year old boy whos previous mother had been abusive and drug-addicted. He has major behavoral problems like temper tantrums and even when NOT being reprimanded but told not to do something he screams and suns into the corner crying. What is the best thign for my child, and how do I deal with him?

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A woman was charged with child neglect for breastfeeding while drunk?

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

She breastfed her 6 week old baby while drunk and was charged with child neglect. http://www.myfoxal.com/dpp/news/national/North_Dakota_Mother_Charged_With_Child_Neglect_Allegedly_Breast_Fed_Baby_While_Drunk_297633 Do you think this is deserved? I personally do not.

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I’m not a child, but is this still abuse? I can’t take it anymore!?

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

Hi. I’m eighteen years old and still live with my parents. I go out at least once a week and take home applications to try to get a job. I’ve been trying for almost two years now, and I’ve had no luck. I’ve been told many times how bad the economy is, so it’ll be hard for me to get one, but anyway.

I still live with my parents, and every single day my mother gets drunk. Sometimes she’ll start drinking before it’s even noon. She drinks a lot, and no matter how many drinks she’s had she always claims she isn’t drunk. Whenever my dad and I confront her about this, she screams and yells and tells us she hates us etc.

This has been going on for years. Whenever she starts drinking, she gets mean and vicious. There are times when I won’t even be in the same room as her and she’ll start yelling at me, telling me I’m lazy and fat and that I’m a loser (and to be fair, yeah, I don’t have a job, but I have a 3.4 GPA in college and I’m majoring in nursing, I can’t say I’m a loser. She didn’t even go to college.) and how much she hates me. Then she and my dad will get into a fight, and once he leaves (either to go to work or because he’s had enough of her) she screams at me saying I always ‘stick up for him’ even when I’m not involved in the conversation. She then tells me how I treat her like sh*t because I’m not there to stick up for her in a fight and that I’m useless etc.

When she’s drunk she’ll do mean and rude things and she doesn’t care when I confront her about it. She’ll tell me it’s my fault for her alcoholism and when I ask her why, she can’t give me an answer. She usually replies with “I don’t want to talk to you anymore” or “I can’t stand you” etc. and then won’t let me get a word in.

I can’t explain all the things she does when she’s drunk but she’s insufferable. She’s mean and cruel to me and my dad, and she’ll yell and scare my dogs to badly that they hide under tables and stuff. I don’t understand what made her this way, but I can’t take it anymore.

The problem is, I don’t have the money (no job) to move out or get a dorm, and I don’t know if what she’s doing constitutes as illegal and/or abusive because she’s not physically hitting me or anything.

But I really need help, and I need out of this. I’ve tried taking her to family counseling before, which ended badly. We (my dad, her, and myself) were trying to work things out when my mom just got up and left. I feel helpless and I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Please don’t tell me to try to talk to her because my dad and I have been trying for years and she doesn’t care at all, she always blames us for it (and can never explain why).
My dad has tried to divorce her but she… for a lack of better terms, won’t let him. As well, almost all our family lives in a different state.
I need this question answered: Is what she’s doing illegal?

Can she get arrested for it?

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I am wondering what the legal rights are for fathers who pay child support?

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

The custodial parent is unemployed and an alcoholic, and demands that the father be supervised when he tries to visit, threatening him when he tries to take the child to see his grandparents, etc. It’s ridiculous, and he’s emotionally very discouraged. What are the steps he should take to make her a more responsible party? She lives with her parents and is milking him financially and emotionally. I don’t know that it is best for the child to be with her, but he is hesitant to take her to court and take the child from the mother, as well as feeling generally not up to the challenge of taking full custody. What should he do,and what role should I play as an outsider/girlfriend? I am willing but completely inexperienced with children, and I don’t want to traumatize the child but the current situation is making the father miserable and I believe the child may be suffering from things related to her alcoholism and drug abuse.

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Can you sue your parents for child abuse?

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011

Can you sue your parents for child abuse?
I am 33. I was physically and emitionally abused and neglected by my mother until the age of 12 when I was put into the states custody.

I stayed in a foster home until 16 and became emancipated.

As part of my recovery process, I am interested in making my abuser face up to her actions. I have tried in the past but she just denies things. Also her alcoholism allows her to live a life where she can forget what she did to me.

Is there, legally, any way to hold her accountable for abuse? I am not interested in money- but having her held accountable on some level will help with closure.

thanks

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Child Custody Battle Questions?

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011

My husband and I have been married for 5 months now, and he has a 2 year old son with his past “hook up”. There was a brief “relationship” for about a month or two simply because he found out she was pregnant. The father could have been him or 2 other guys (shows you how contained she is)…. Blood tests showed that my husband is in fact the father. We have had him since he was about 6 weeks old every weekend. We have custody papers stating that she has full physical custody, but we share joint custody. Since he was born, she has moved 9 times, a couple of times she never told us her new address (which is contempt of court according to the papers). While she was pregnant, she told my husband that she would never quit smoking weed. She just moved an hour further away with her on again off again boyfriend who is clearly on drugs (nasty teeth, myspace reference to drugs and so on) We even found a nude picture of our son on her public myspace page! We printed it and went to the police station. There was to be more investigation, and we notified DHS, who then went to her house and TOLD her that we were having her myspace investigated, so she should make it public. Her status, which I can still see, changed to “NAME thinks little girls should keep their noses in their big fat boyfriends butt cracks”. We still believe that she and her boyfriend are on drugs, but do not know if we can demand a drug test on her. Our current lawyer has been no help, as his wife is fighting cancer, and he is trying all he can to stay out of court.
His mother never calls when we have him for any amount of time to check on him, and if she does call, it is always about money. She does not have a highschool education, and has even attempted to take the GED exam 2 times and still has not passed. She has no steady employment, even when she worked at her father’s store. She has threatened us and shown her ugly side several times (which we have documented) She has been late for pick ups and drop offs several times also, and has even forgotten what day it was when we called. He usually has a full diaper, and is filthy like he hasnt taken a bath when we pick him up. We also noticed lots of plaque on his teeth when we pick him up. He has gotten sick with her several times, and it has been severe a couple times, and she says shes taken him to the doctor, but has no documentation… How does a doctor miss pneumonia and say that the child is “fine”??? Anways, please give me some advice or some support as of what to do!?!
I forgot to also add that we are to split medical bills 50/50, and she owes us over $1,000 so far. She says she will pay but never does.
She has also lost custody of her older daughter to her parents for being unfit. Shouldnt that be held against her?
Sorry, it was a paternity test, not just a blood test! He is the father!

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If you were a single dad & the mother of your child was?

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

very unstable, maybe an addict but the child (10 yr old) still wants a relationship with the mother. How would you handle it in an effective manner? Do you tell the child?
The father has already been through the court system-wasted $ there. He is not trying to keep them apart-but his own sanity is an issue. She displays ODD behavior(late,no show,stays at hotels).

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Can a mother throw out her child if they are under age?

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

A friend of mine is seventeen years old and his mother told him to get out of the house for basically no reason at all. He did no harm to anyone, hes not using drugs, not drinking, hes basically a good kid. I don’t think she can do that but i want to make sure before i say anything.
A friend of mine is seventeen years old and his mother told him to get out of the house for basically no reason at all. He did no harm to anyone, hes not using drugs, not drinking, hes basically a good kid. I don’t think she can do that but i want to make sure before i say anything. We live in California.

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Mother took child into bar for drink. Custody?

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

I am the father of an 18 month old son. My ex took my son into a bar with her mother to drink on Christmas Eve. I have a picture of her and my son in the bar. Her mother drinks alcohol everyday, takes pain meds and sells them, smokes pot, and Xanax. One day I called her mother to see how my son was because she had him for the night. Her mother slurring her words told me he was ok and asleep. My ex also has a history of drinking. My ex took my son the other day and won’t contact me or let me see my son. I have been taking care of him most of the time we have split. We were engaged but I broke up with her. Can I get custody of him?

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My brothers dad wants to fight for custody and receive child support, even though he owes 28,000 to my mom?

Saturday, June 4th, 2011

I need some help. My brother is in drug rehab, and his dad just served my mom with custody papers. My mom is a single parent who has paid for everything for my brother his entire life. His dad owes over 28,000 in back child support, he has no license because of it, no job and lives with his girlfriend. He has been the bad influence in my brothers life, he lies, steals and does drugs. While my mom works full time, owns her own home and doesn’t even drink. My mom tried everything to get my brother help when she first felt he was slipping. Went to therapy and probation and PINS, everything and my brother continued to lie and steal and use. His dad let him get away with all of it saying that this is all HER fault. My mom is even the one paying for rehab to keep him out of jail/foster care for violating probation. And now his dad wants to sue her for custody??? If he by some crazy way wins and she has to pay child support she will loose our house. She makes just above min wage so every penny is accounted for… So she will not only lose my brother but her liscence and her home. Where is the justice in that?

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Do you agree that the rightful place for a child is with its mother?

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

The Courts have ruled that a seven year old child must be returned to its mother.
The child was taken from the mother at birth as it was deemed to be at risk as the mother was a chronic drug addict. To feed her habit she was prostituting and shoplifting.
The child was placed with foster parents who were in the process of adopting it.
The mother who has since cleaned up and is a reformed character demanded the child be returned.
It became apparent that the mother has had several detox’s and is now – and for the foreseeable future – will be state funded as work depresses her and causes stress.
Has the right decision be made for the child?
May I mention – without prejudice – that whilst the mother of the child has ‘told’ her story to every newspaper – the foster parents have kept a very low profile and seem totally devastated by the decision.

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