My brother never respects my mom or her boyfriend, and will not forgive her for putting him in rehab a year ago. Even though she saved his life, he refuses to ever respect her or even consider her a mother anymore. He cant seem to forgive or forget, is there any thing in the Bible about stuff like this I could have him read? God seems to be the only thing he can relate too.
Thankyou!
My brother just got out of prison, is an alcoholic, drug addict, and bipolar.
Before he went to prison my Mom found child porn on his computer. I was still pregnant at the time he was incarcerated. I confronted him about the photos and he claims he wouldn’t have them but for the drugs (crack cocaine). I don’t care his excuse, I never want him near my twins who are 8 months old.
Now he has been released and despite me telling my Mom he is not allowed with my children, she is acting personally offended.
I know it is hurting her heart and I don’t want to hurt her but if I can help it, he will never meet my twins.
What can I do to help my Mom not feel so hurt? She is in denial thinking he would never do such a thing to my babies, and only sees the good in him, denying all the rest.
I will add…
He went to prison for breaking probabtion which he was on for beating the hell out of me and threatening to kill me. I HAVE forgiven him and I do love him. I will talk to him over the phone whenever he wants to talk. I just don’t trust him around my kids. He has repeatedly beaten the hell out of me and tried to actually kill me a few times. He tried to kick my head in a few years ago and I have now short term memory loss issues that will last a life time.
The state placed a restraining order, so legally he isn’t even supposed to be around me to begin with.
My brother is 11 and we were very close before I had to take guardianship of him because of our moms alcohol/drug abuse. I’m finding it really hard because he gets upset at me now because I’m having to set rules and be the “parent”. He says that I’ve changed ansd he doesn’t listen to/respect me or my rules and I really don’t have that many.
How do I be a good “mother” to him yet still also be his sister as I don’t want to lose that
lots of efforts so he stops taking drugs..but he is not..now i got married .and my mom is with him..he is creating trouble..for my mom..she is old now..i feel very sad..i want my mom should happy in her life but bcoz of my yonger brother…she is not..he is 28 now but he is not understaing her…how i can help my mom in this situation..is there any way i can help my brother..he do not want to talk to any body and we love him very much..when we were kids my father and mother seperated…bcoz of this tragedy..he start taking drugs…
and i struglled alot and becom an engineer..I love my brother very much i want him to become a normal person..plz tell me what i can do for him and my mother ..plz..
he is taking drugs from 15 years..
When I was about 8 years old, my mom decided one child wasn’t enough and decided to adopt a 2 year old boy. He was a horrible little brat. He swore at her and my grandma multiple times, pulled my hair, behaved nasty to every one when he didn’t get his way, and abused me and my mom physically and my mom, emotionally.
While growing up with him, I learned to avoid his mischievous behavior from stealing toy cars from his kindergarten class and little things like that. He still was very nasty to my mom but loved my dad. I was pretty much in the background because he was such a hassle to take care of but I was about 12 by the time and knew how to take care of myself somewhat.
We moved when I was 14 and I was going to start high school. He started to run away and take things from my parents. He’s screamed at my mom and told her she was an attention-whore and almost punched her. He was verbally and emotionally attacking my mom and my dad was at work all the time so he wasn’t there for most of it. He then made it so worse that he manipulated my dad to move out with him and leave my mom and I alone. It was really bad. But I didn’t know the real reason why he moved out until recently.
Now, we have moved again and I am 20 years old and going to college, my brother 14, and he started drinking, smoking pot, chewing tobacco, disrespecting the house and my mom, trying to get my dad to move out again and leave my mom, and I’m in the middle of all of this. Just about 3 weeks ago, he got arrested for drinking, hanging out with gang members, and peeing in public. He’s in a substance abuse hospital and he’s claiming to my dad through phone calls that he’s getting better. Before all of this, he said he was fine and didn’t need help.
My mom has now wrapped herself in her own misery and is blaming my dad and I that we weren’t there for her and we’re not doing enough for her. I was there for her when my dad left and helped her recover from the tragedy. I was hurting too but it doesn’t seem to bother her that I have feelings too. She screams at me when I tell her how I feel and she makes me feel like I’m not important to her. She blames my dad for not protecting her and being a “united front” with her to protect her from her horrible mistake of adopting my brother. She yells at me, saying I don’t appreciate her and the things she’s done for me and that I don’t do anything for her. She’s making me feel like I am nothing and that I have don’t everything to make her unhappy.
I feel like I’m not good enough, lonely, and unimportant. She thinks my dad and I are plotting against her because we’re spending more time with each other. We don’t want to spend time with her because she’s always stuck on my brother and how he’s treated her and that she has to do EVERYTHING. I don’t know what to do any more. She is so self-absorbed and claiming that my dad and I are selfish and self-absorbed and pretty much saying “woe is me”.
I’ve asked to help her and she turns me down. I’ve asked her to go out to lunch with me and she turns it down. She claims I don’t do anything for her or with her when all I try to do is make her feel better! I don’t know what to do any more. I need help. She won’t go to a therapist because she thinks their loads of crap and she won’t let go of her past.
I’ve been thinking of moving out with my boyfriend and starting a new chapter in my life. But I don’t think I could get a good job and keep up with rent for the apartment. I’m stuck but I want to leave. I want to be happy again. I don’t want to be blamed for something I didn’t do. I’ve tried everything, and even my dad has been trying everything to make her happy again. But the only solution she wants is my brother to be dead.
So, this girl I like that I work with just gave me her phone number a few days ago. I finally called her last night talked for a little bit and I let her go so she could sleep…
I call her this morning and it turned out her drug addicted brother (who is 16 and she is 19) stole $200 she was saving up to buy a new guitar. He broke into her window to do so, it isn’t the first time this has happened, but not this badly.
She is very upset she can’t do anything by law since she and I assumed circumstancial evidence would be useless since he does live there. And her mom whom they both live with refuses to kick him out just because he is 16.
What can I do first of all to cheer her up and calm her down… I don’t want to say the wrong thing to her.
my brother is 14 and has been smoking pot for about a year or two now. ever since he came to the same high school as me, he’s gotten more and more into it (nothing more than weed) but I guess you could say he’s an addict, he gets very cranky and upset if he doesn’t have it and is desperate to get it. He has and is still stealing money from our mom, and I suspect that he stole my iPod and sold it.
He was supposed to go live with my dad in Texas, but jumped out of the car right as him and my mom were leaving. He came back and was getting a second chance, but my mom caught him with $40 and she is missing $20. He has no job either.
I have warned him several times and have begged my mom not to send him to rehab, but now I don’t know how to deal with him. He has yet to take my advice. But I really don’t want him to go and I’ll miss him a lot. Have you ever had to deal with this situation, or what do you recommend I do or tell my mom?
So, this girl I like that I work with just gave me her phone number a few days ago. I finally called her last night talked for a little bit and I let her go so she could sleep…
I call her this morning and it turned out her drug addicted brother (who is 16 and she is 19) stole $200 she was saving up to buy a new guitar. He broke into her window to do so, it isn’t the first time this has happened, but not this badly.
She is very upset she can’t do anything by law since she and I assumed circumstancial evidence would be useless since he does live there. And her mom whom they both live with refuses to kick him out just because he is 16.
What can I do first of all to cheer her up and calm her down… I don’t want to say the wrong thing to her.
So, this girl I like that I work with just gave me her phone number a few days ago. I finally called her last night talked for a little bit and I let her go so she could sleep…
I call her this morning and it turned out her drug addicted brother (who is 16 and she is 19) stole $200 she was saving up to buy a new guitar. He broke into her window to do so, it isn’t the first time this has happened, but not this badly.
She is very upset she can’t do anything by law since she and I assumed circumstancial evidence would be useless since he does live there. And her mom whom they both live with refuses to kick him out just because he is 16.
What can I do first of all to cheer her up and calm her down… I don’t want to say the wrong thing to her.
i will be bringing her to a courthouse so she can file a restraing order against my brother, he is always waking her up in the early hours begging for money and cigs, he’s broken the back door once, he is an alcoholic and addict that bugs her and leaves before the cops arrive, what will we need to bring with us, and is this the best route to go?
My brother is now 29 years old and addicted to drugs and alcohol since he is 16. We have horrible years behind us, trying all we can to help him. So many tears, so many sleepless nights…. My brother started several therapies (because we pushed for it) but didn’t finish them.
After my brother just lost his job (again) he moved in with my mom, making her life hell. He is letting himself go so badly and she has to watch it all. He promised to find himself his own place, that is now 6 month ago. Over the last 6 months my mom spend so much money and time on him, becoming an enabler out of love. It is so hard for her.
She has set several ultimatums for him to move out but she never went through with it. This time she is determined. She gave him a one month ultimatum to find his own place. She even tried to find him an apartment, a job – everything. He barely responds to her help. She also told him that he can stay with her and have her full support if he is willing to accept help. She also joined support groups to get advice on how to deal with this. But things are getting worse.
In 3 days the ultimatum is up and my mom is so afraid to take that next steps and kick him out. All of us are so worried that he will end up on the street and destroy himself. We are afraid he might not be the kind of guy who will hit rock bottom and then turn his life around. So many people end up on the street, for the rest of their lives. This thought is unbearable. My brother often threatens that he will turn to prostitution to survive and that we can spend the rest of our lives worrying about him.
Is it really the right thing to kick him out?
Hello I’m 22 years old and I have battle with alcohol since i was 16 years old and i’ve finally come to terms that i do have a problem and I have taking it day by day and I’m at the point that I don’t want to drink at all I have been an binge drinker and now I cut that all out I went through the DT’s really bad and had anxiety really bad but now my mind is clear and I’m seeing that alcohol has taking over my mother and brother and i don’t know what to do i’m afraid that alcohol will take there lives my mother is at the point that she has to drink everyday and she blames my brother and my dad and me for why she drinks and that hurts makes me feel like i did and i know that its not she has had a really bad child hood her parents drank and she was abused physcailly, verbally, and sexually and has alot of problems and she drinks because of it and has torn our family apart and i sometimes get to the point where i wish she would just leave our family is so disfuctional and i know for that time i was drinking I had done things i’m not proud of and I know its all because of drinking and my stupid decisions and my choice and as for my brother he doesn’t drink every day but he’s a binge drinker and he gets so drunk he blacks out and i’m afraid something bad will happen to him and he has tried to comment suicide when he was blacked out and people tell me things that happend to him and it kills me cuz he’s my little brother and i just dont know what to do he’s gotten himself into a really bad spot because of his bad choices and drinking we dont have alot of money really at all its me and my dad working and my dad’s keeping everyting going and i know that he is the codependent here and he’s a really nice guy and cares for his family and i’m just don’t know what to do and i know they have to want to quit on their own but there tearing our family apart and they don’t realize it at all and that hurts I really need some direction on what to do this has really stressed me out to the point where i cant take all this anymore and i just want to get out of here but i can’t cuz i dont’ want anything bad to happen to them
Thank-you and thank-you for your advice and I really hope things work out better for you =)
Okay. my brother is 30 and im 14. there problems at home and my brother sympathizes with me because he went through the same thing growing up. its nothing bad like drugs or physical abuse. its more of mental abuse. It would be really hard to explain but my mom is crazy. Like my aunts understand this because they lived with my mom for some time. and my cousins understand this. and my brother’s girlfriend has been around when my mom blew up.
but anyways. My brother has made plans for me to move into his apartment. It is still in the same town so i can still go to my school. The only problem is that Im afraid my mom wont agree. We would still go but knowing her. she will call the police and tell them that my brother kidnapped me. But can he get in trouble? because i am the one would be willing to go. its not like i was forced against my will.
Im actually forced against my will to live in my parent’s home
and its not like Im a bad kid. I dont drink, dont party, dont do drugs, and im not sexually active so no worries for me getting wasted or high or pregnant. I am a sensable person and I get god grades. I have a 3.8 gpa and im involved with a lot of school clubs and sports. I volunteer on the weekends at a phsyical rehab center.
and same with my brother. He was just the same ^^ and he got into Penn State (partial scholarship) with a high GPA and 1570 /1600 SAT score!
my mom constantly “mentally abuses me” she always says that we are failures and we will never get into college. We will drop out of high school and work at McDonalds. She has said much worse to us but i prefer not to bring those memories back..
when my brother was little he would always go to shrinks (5 actually) and they all said that the source of the problem was my mom. she was the reason my brother was unhappy. and so am I. About 95% of the time i am not happy when I am around her because of what she said or did to me. and that 5% when she is in a good mood is the worse because you know that she will blow up soon.
My brother is 30 and he is still being abused by my mom.
so what Im trying to say is that i really need to move out. I doubt my mom will let me go but I will probably just get up and go anyways. I dont want my brother to get arrested for “kidnapping” tho.
we dont want my mom to get arrested though and im not sure there would be enough evidence since its not physical abuse
I have a 30 year old alcoholic brother…My family has been through so much because of his addiction..he can’t hold a job, he is extremely agressive when he is drunk, breaks fights, disrespectful to my mother, he has blackouts, high blood pressure, can’t hold a job, got a divorce after being married for only 6 months or so the list goes on and on…bottom line I am lost and tired of dealing with him and his addiction. I have talked to him and asked him to stop but that was like talking to a wall. What to do?
My brother who is 50 years old is living with my mother, and it been three months. Everytime I go over there he seems to have a jealous fit with the time I have with her. Today the first day of the year and he start in on me over potatoes. He believes to be a great cook so he starts crictatizing me over how I am peeling them. On defending myself my mom believe I should just keep quiet and let him abuse me. So I left but I said to her I don’t understand her why should let her handle it when all he does is continue the crap toward me. I decide not to see her anymore until he move out. Tell me what do you think?
5 children, and he is the youngest. 2 of us are step, 3 are biological to my step mother. we are now all grown up, Late 20′s and early 30′s. in highschool me and him hung out and were like best friends. did some trouble which i grew out of. He just kept doing more and more illegal stuff and got deep into drugs. oldest sister has a family with 3 very nice boys, other sister has always held a GREAT paying job which takes time away from her children (parents look down on this), older brother does construction and lives with otherside of his family. does well for himself but is not very family oriented, comes around when he wants to (with my family i understand why), Me…I am in the military, served 5 tours, 4 to Iraq 1 to afghanistan, own my own home, live comfortably with new cars and 2 amazingly well behaved happy children (I seem to be blamed for most drama and problems of step mothes life).. youngest son DID drugs, he has receintly served 6 months in a bootcamp style court mandated rehab (mother says he picked it to get help, he didnt want jail), he has not held down job, lived off welfare, did drugs, had a meth-lab in his 1yr old son’s room, and now just broke parol and left state to got to a concert where he got busted selling drugs. 5 felony counts. mother still thinks he is a wonderful father and very noble taking the full sentance because he didnt turn in his supplier and get a deal. keeps his family safe that way. I know the problem is with the step mother.. common denominator in ALL drama, but why does the pride still maily remain with the child that has gone nowhere? she even has a count of days he has served thus far… its offensive.
5 children, and he is the youngest. 2 of us are step, 3 are biological to my step mother. we are now all grown up, Late 20′s and early 30′s. in highschool me and him hung out and were like best friends. did some trouble which i grew out of. He just kept doing more and more illegal stuff and got deep into drugs. oldest sister has a family with 3 very nice boys, other sister has always held a GREAT paying job which takes time away from her children (parents look down on this), older brother does construction and lives with otherside of his family. does well for himself but is not very family oriented, comes around when he wants to (with my family i understand why), Me…I am in the military, served 5 tours, 4 to Iraq 1 to afghanistan, own my own home, live comfortably with new cars and 2 amazingly well behaved happy children (I seem to be blamed for most drama and problems of step mothes life).. youngest son DID drugs, he has receintly served 6 months in a bootcamp style court mandated rehab (mother says he picked it to get help, he didnt want jail), he has not held down job, lived off welfare, did drugs, had a meth-lab in his 1yr old son’s room, and now just broke parol and left state to got to a concert where he got busted selling drugs. 5 felony counts. mother still thinks he is a wonderful father and very noble taking the full sentance because he didnt turn in his supplier and get a deal. keeps his family safe that way. I know the problem is with the step mother.. common denominator in ALL drama, but why does the pride still maily remain with the child that has gone nowhere? she even has a count of days he has served thus far… its offensive.
my grandma is moving to ohio to live with my aunt. she suggested i move with her cuz my mom and brothers dad are alcoholics and were sick of their shit.im 13 and i dont want to leave my brother behind,but i shoukdnt have to be responsible for him.although my mom’s got problems,i still love her,so should i stay here with my mom,brother,and brothers dad in pennsylvania,or move to ohio with my grandma?
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