We will help you get your mom off drugs!

I am a 29 year old mother of three kids and was married fir eleven years to a drug dealing spouse and though he did that line of work he never paid bills always was out in the streets doing who knows what and recently in July of 2010 he dropped me and my kids off in another state which is my home state to basically fend for ourselves.I have no money no credit and just got a little piece of a job to support myself and kids.I live with my bipolar coke head mom and my dad is a vietnam vet suffering from alcoholism.My husbands parents are here too,but his mom just doesn’t acknowledge myself and my children she won’t even help babysit while I go to work and she is fully capable and alot safer than my own mom.Instead she would rather her son,my husband abandon us even longer to so called get himself together,but he can’t survive without my support so that will be never and on top of that he says he has a new girlfriend that attends law school and he is really into her,this hurts me because I could have been doing that and much more had I not been so gullible for him and doing everything that he said to do….Basically I am on here looking for a life coach to help me get my life back and keep me positive.Please is there anyone out there? I am not looking for handouts just a helping hand and resources.

We have 2 kids together ages 3 and 12 months. He has a long history of drug abuse but he *was* sober when we were together (he fell back on it once, and got sober again)
anyways the last 2 months of our relationship he cheated on me, I was obviously blind to it, because I did not find out till a month after we broke up. He also fell back into drugs, I had a hunch he did, but I wasn’t sure.
I am finishing up my education to be a cosmetologist and also getting my bachelors degree in psychology, in high school I was in honors, also a mentor with straight A’s.
He on the other hand is a high school drop out, tried getting his GED, but he failed and never went back. He is unemployed and never qualified for any jobs he went to.

I kept asking “why? why did he leave me?” and every one that answered (friend, family on both sides) kept saying “its because your too good for him” or “he is on drugs.. people love drugs more then they love people”

as he was breaking up with me it went something like
“oh my gosh… I’m going to be a single mother on welfare aren’t I?”
“no, your too smart to ever get on that! trust me. and me? well I’m just pathetic…”
“but I love you”
“how do you even know what love is?”
“because I can just feel it, and I know”
“well I NEVER have!”
“so all those times you said you loved me was a lie?”
“yeah sorry”

he seemed like he loved me, and proved it.
do you think he truly knows that I am too good for him, and did not want to put me and our kids through the pain and suffering from his being a drug addict? his mom is a drug addict and he had to live with her and had a horrible childhood.

he wont answer my phone calls, he wont call me, he doesn’t want to see his kids, he did not even call our youngest on his birthday. Do you think he is trying to do us a “favor” ?
He also broke up with me for the girl he cheated on me with, she does drugs also, I kinda have a feeling she is just there because misery loves company.
I’m only in the beginning of psychology, I have YET to get to drugs and mental behavior.

One night I’m was riding past the house were my daughter lived and noticed that there were alot of people there . It was around 12 am. I called when i got to a buddies house, I called and ask what the hell was going on and wheres my baby, why is there so many people up there so late and she hung up on me. So i called back with no answer. then she finally answered and we talked for about an hour. Then after calling her by my new girlfriends name by accident, she hung up on me. I tried Back a couple of times and gave up.My buddy Tommy told me he would be a witness for me if anything happened,but i never even got the chance to call him from jail. The next morning I got a call from the police, witch she had been on the phone with the police officer lying like a rug. I told them the truth about what happened and all they said was I was being charge with harassment by communication . I was on probation at the time for some misdemeanor things. My probation officer herd about the incident and put me in jail. So when I finally get to court . I plead no contest, bad decision at the time because I was going to do time anyway for the violation. She had no proof or phone records, of coarse to prove her case. Then the judge told me if i ever was to go around her again i was doing serious jail time .There was never any mention about use having a child together. I had no one on my side while she had her dad and sister sitting and grinning when i walked into the court room. I felt so worthless and depressed when i finally got out I continued feeding my depression, self medicating If you will.I tried calling anybody and everywhere, but no one could give me any answers or help. This was about the time I tried committing suicide. I swallowed about 30 trazadone sleeping pills followed by a fifth of vodka. Well the x was not worried she got married 2 years after we broke up and they came into some money some how and ask the courts for an adoption. They got it because they said I signed my rights away. I DID NOT!!!!! I was never notified, never mailed any thing. They cannot say either they knew not my whereabouts because adult probation found me and always I had current addresses for them, from 1989 to 2002. She also knew this. because her sister and mother would always call him, my probation officer, and try getting me thrown in jail. Threw all this I am trying to battle depression, anxiety,alcoholism,the loss of my daughter. I was a mess. No one would help me not even my parents.About 2 years later When I was twenty nine years old my parental rights were taken from me with out my knowledge. by a vengeful X pulling some shifty crap. I have tried everything in my power to seek help looking every were asking everybody, but with out thousands of dollars for a lawyer no one will help me. If I were a women this would not be an issue. I’m sure I would find help right away. I have told my story to just about everybody I know and they all agree I got screwed. Can someone out there give me some advice or some kind of resource or somebody i can contact for help. Please help if you can but this is a very serious issue I will never give up on.Over the next 11 yrs I just about gave up.The only thing that kept me from laying across the railroad tracks was the determination to right this wrong.
Presently I have taken steps to Improve my live and change it for the better. I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, I have recently been diagnosed with P.T.S.D also a social anxiety. I see a therapist once a week and follow my doctors treatment regiment to the letter. I know in my heart i will see her one day again and hold my baby girl

I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
*** Thank you so much for your replies. I joined Yahoo, just to ask this and have anxiously been awaiting an answer. One thing I did not mention though, (about my husband & I), is that we are very “natural” so to speak, and I know how much he disapproves of medication, (as do I), but I don’t know what else to do!
Sorry I re-posted it… I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. =]

I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
*** Thank you so much for your replies. I joined Yahoo, just to ask this and have anxiously been awaiting an answer. One thing I did not mention though, (about my husband & I), is that we are very “natural” so to speak, and I know how much he disapproves of medication, (as do I), but I don’t know what else to do!
Sorry I re-posted it… I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. =]

My son is a pacifier addict. I used to only give it to him when he would get fussy while we were out somewhere but against my wishes my mother-in-law would shove it in his mouth at every chance she got. I told her that I want to try other things before shoving the pacifier in his mouth but any time he spit it out she shoved it right back in even if he didn’t want it or cry for it. Now my son can’t go without the pacifier for more than like 10 minutes because she has gotten him so used to sucking on it all day long. I really don’t care if he wants to suck on it, but the problem is every time he spits it out he screams like someone is cutting off on of his toes. And night time is the worst, he wakes up every 5-10 minutes for the first hour or two that he goes to sleep because he loses the pacifier then he might go a half hour to an hour before waking up again because he lost the thing again. He sleeps next to me in bed, yet I still can’t get sleep because he is waking up screaming all night long and as soon as I put it back in his mouth he dozes right back off. The only way that I can sometime get him to sleep without it is by using my boob as the pacifier and let him fall asleep while laying down and nursing but then I get uncomfortable and can’t move or else my boob may pop out and he will wake again. Is it too early or too mean to wean him from the thing at three months?

Well 1st off Im 17. and I find myself 2 b a very gud mom for a teenager…Im breastfeeding so my daughter can get every single nutrient she needs, im home schooling so that not only I can b home with her but that I can also finish school and continue on to college so that I can supply her with everything, me and her father are getting married, etc…so right now Im still living with my mom and in the house is me, my lil brother, my older brother, and my mom of course…so on with the story, My older brother is a drug addict, he isnt supposed to be here since he’s always bringing drugs in and he’s very mean and nasty towards everyone in the house but then yesterday my mom leaves him in the house by himself while she went to work, my lil brother went to school, and I went over my fiance’s. my number one rule for when Im gone is to keep my bedroom door closed so that the dog and cat wnt get in and go to the bathroom, so not only does my older brother do this but he locks them in also. so then I come in and theres poop and pee all over the bed and the babys clothes and blankets (she likes to sleep in the bed with me). I have no heat in my room but I do use an electic heater but it takes a long time to heat the room so I had to lay my daughter down in her bassinet (which she doesnt sleep in because she hates it) and because she didnt have any blankets to keep her warm I had to leave her in her snow suit. so then I talk to my mom about it and she does nothing but says “O well Ill jus take everything to the cleaners sunday morning”…its sat. I dont want my daughter sleeping the same way she did last night and I cant sleep out of my bedroom because my older brother is like sick in the head and I dont want him trying to do sumthing to her so I called my mother in law (my fiance still lies with her, workin on gettin our own place) and asked if she could spend the night for just one night because of my situation and she said it was fine. so my fiance comes and gets her, and my mom and I decide that we should go to the mall (me her and my bros.) because I havent been there since last march and It has always been one of my favorite places, so of course I got really excited to go then a lil later she ask “wen is the baby comming back” and I reply “2moro” and she goes “WHAT?! No!!. you ask me before you do that!” and I reply “why would i have to ask if shes my daughter?” now I wasnt trying to say that as a smart remark, I was honestly wondering why I needed to ask permission for things I do with my daughter you know? then she just tells me how horrible I am with mothering and that she would never do that and that no mother would do that and Im the worst mother for it and basically just grilling me to the point where I now feel like a piece of shxt. and then to top it off she tells me that I dont get to go to the mall because of me trying to be rude by asking the question and for being a bad mom, so now im jus heartbroken…and It really has me feeling horrible…I dont feel like a bad mother, I love my daughter to death Id do anything for her, I jus didnt want her around such filth or a drug addict for a night, I jus couldnt do it. I would sleep over my fiances with her but Im not allowed to sleep over there til im 18, which is next feb. and not only did that hurt my feelings but the fact that she knows i havent been to the mall in such a long time and i was looking so foward to it and she took that away from me was the worst. and its not like i can just go wen i want, im focused on being a mother, and that was my one day to do me n she jus took it away…so am i a bad mom??

My sister lives in an apartment. She has lived there for about 8 months now. Her landlord’s mother has moved into the apartment below her. She now harasses her at all hours of the night by banging her cane on her ceiling if she goes to the bathroom or gets a drink of water. She just threatened my sister by saying she was going to call her son and have her evicted. Can she legally do that?

She says…

Ok, well, my fiance Patrick is an independent singer, and I’m his vocal coach. About a week and a half ago, Patrick started hanging out with this guy Nathaniel who records at the same studio as us. He’s 22, Patrick’s 26, and I’m 25. Well, Patrick’s invited him along to a couple parties and lunch with us, and just basically hanging out with him quite a bit. Well, at first, I found Nathaniel very irritating. He’s really over dramatic, and a bit overemotional… I brought it up a couple of days ago with Patrick saying, “I know you’re friends with him, but he’s a little… over dramatic and everything… He’s nice and everything, but you see it too, right?” and Patrick agreed, but he explained to me that up until about 2 years ago, Nathaniel had a really hard past… his mom was addicted to drugs and died, and he moved from family member to family member, but he seemed to lose everyone he loved. I feel really bad for kind of being on edge around him, and I can see how Patrick can put aside the over dramatic side of him, knowing his past. He came along with Patrick and I again at lunch today, and I realized how nice he actually is… I was also much nicer and I wasn’t on edge with him at all. I still feel really bad, though. I mean, I wasn’t “mean” to him, but I just acted irritated sometimes, though… I feel bad… How do I stop feeling like this?!

She says…

Ok, well, my fiance Patrick is an independent singer, and I’m his vocal coach. About a week and a half ago, Patrick started hanging out with this guy Nathaniel who records at the same studio as us. He’s 22, Patrick’s 26, and I’m 25. Well, Patrick’s invited him along to a couple parties and lunch with us, and just basically hanging out with him quite a bit. Well, at first, I found Nathaniel very irritating. He’s really over dramatic, and a bit overemotional… I brought it up a couple of days ago with Patrick saying, “I know you’re friends with him, but he’s a little… over dramatic and everything… He’s nice and everything, but you see it too, right?” and Patrick agreed, but he explained to me that up until about 2 years ago, Nathaniel had a really hard past… his mom was addicted to drugs and died, and he moved from family member to family member, but he seemed to lose everyone he loved. I feel really bad for kind of being on edge around him, and I can see how Patrick can put aside the over dramatic side of him, knowing his past. He came along with Patrick and I again at lunch today, and I realized how nice he actually is… I was also much nicer and I wasn’t on edge with him at all. I still feel really bad, though. I mean, I wasn’t “mean” to him, but I just acted irritated sometimes, though… I feel bad… How do I stop feeling like this?!
I know, I just feel like a total jack@$$

She says…

Ok, well, my fiance Patrick is an independent singer, and I’m his vocal coach. About a week and a half ago, Patrick started hanging out with this guy Nathaniel who records at the same studio as us. He’s 22, Patrick’s 26, and I’m 25. Well, Patrick’s invited him along to a couple parties and lunch with us, and just basically hanging out with him quite a bit. Well, at first, I found Nathaniel very irritating. He’s really over dramatic, and a bit overemotional… I brought it up a couple of days ago with Patrick saying, “I know you’re friends with him, but he’s a little… over dramatic and everything… He’s nice and everything, but you see it too, right?” and Patrick agreed, but he explained to me that up until about 2 years ago, Nathaniel had a really hard past… his mom was addicted to drugs and died, and he moved from family member to family member, but he seemed to lose everyone he loved. I feel really bad for kind of being on edge around him, and I can see how Patrick can put aside the over dramatic side of him, knowing his past. He came along with Patrick and I again at lunch today, and I realized how nice he actually is… I was also much nicer and I wasn’t on edge with him at all. I still feel really bad, though. I mean, I wasn’t “mean” to him, but I just acted irritated sometimes, though… I feel bad… How do I stop feeling like this?!
I know, I just feel like a total jack@$$

She says…

Ok, well, my fiance Patrick is an independent singer, and I’m his vocal coach. About a week and a half ago, Patrick started hanging out with this guy Nathaniel who records at the same studio as us. He’s 22, Patrick’s 26, and I’m 25. Well, Patrick’s invited him along to a couple parties and lunch with us, and just basically hanging out with him quite a bit. Well, at first, I found Nathaniel very irritating. He’s really over dramatic, and a bit overemotional… I brought it up a couple of days ago with Patrick saying, “I know you’re friends with him, but he’s a little… over dramatic and everything… He’s nice and everything, but you see it too, right?” and Patrick agreed, but he explained to me that up until about 2 years ago, Nathaniel had a really hard past… his mom was addicted to drugs and died, and he moved from family member to family member, but he seemed to lose everyone he loved. I feel really bad for kind of being on edge around him, and I can see how Patrick can put aside the over dramatic side of him, knowing his past. He came along with Patrick and I again at lunch today, and I realized how nice he actually is… I was also much nicer and I wasn’t on edge with him at all. I still feel really bad, though. I mean, I wasn’t “mean” to him, but I just acted irritated sometimes, though… I feel bad… How do I stop feeling like this?!

I want to show her how i feel about it

The History: She is addicted to hard drugs, meth actually. She lived with us once before. When she did her druggie friends robbed us of our rent money (and some irreplaceable possessions) and the end result was we were evicted from our apartment. She hasn’t had a job in years and has consistently involved her self with “irreputable characters”.

The Situation: She’s been in jail for the last 5 months on drug charges. They released her yesterday and she’ll be on probation for the next 6 years. She has no home, no money, no where ( that I know of ) to go. My husband is her oldest son, therefore he feels obligated to take care of her. She’s 40, he’s 23. I have said that if he feels the need to take her in again, I can’t stop him, that’s his mother. As far as her drug use she has been clean since she’s been in jail, and apparently found Jesus too. I don’t trust that she’s changed quite yet, but I do believe in 2nd chances (although this is really her 13th chance).

The Conflict: I have said that I will be staying with friends until she finds another living situation. Is that fair to my husband? Is this standing up for myself, or am I making the situation worse? I NEED HELP!!!

Thanks all for your responses and advice.

I’m 18
5’3 104
I am thinking about losing 7 pounds
The magic number in my head is 97 pounds

I love the song Big Isn’t beautiful
I love the verse: I want to feel your bones on my bones
The verse: I throw up guts up for self esteem

I want to purge because I binge ate today but I can’t because my mom is home
When I will start to live alone I will probably purge a lot
My psychiatrist doesn’t think I have an eating disorder he just thinks I have an obsession with being thin
CAN A GUY LIKE A GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE UNDER WEIGHT ?

I want to feel my bones on your bones
I want to see my ribs, hip bones, collar bones, and spine

Has anyone else heard of this? I never heard such thing im 21w 2d?

I really thought I loved my mother and that she loved me, but it is because I didnt know any better. She was addicted to cocaine and abused my siblings, and then one day abandoned me. My dad raised me well all that jazz, but recently it struck me that I hate women. My friends tell me I hate women and I usually brush it off and not think about it, but I realized, other than sexual attraction, I cant stand women. The way they think, the way they act, it makes me sick and I have never had a girlfriend.
I am 21 years old and I can assure you I am not gay, I am very much attracted to women, but I dont see myself wanting to do ANYTHING with them other than have sex. Is this all my mothers fault? What kind of future is there for people like me? I dont think I will ever be in a relationship with a woman for as long as I live. could I be wrong?

and the natives didn’t know how to drive, so she came home one night with alot of bacon for breakfast the following morning, but it wasn’t really bacon?

yes i know… i’m bored

We have done most everything that we could do to ‘fix’ her – but we all know that doesn’t work.

How do you finally accept the fact that it isn’t going to change and then watch it happen?

I have been watching my mother deteriorate over the past 20 years. The only things that have changed is her getting older and having health problems. She is an alcoholic. She basically has nothing and is living with ‘friends’ these days. No work – it isn’t going to happen.

How do you let it go and stop trying to help something that you can’t do a thing about?

My brother who is 50 years old is living with my mother, and it been three months. Everytime I go over there he seems to have a jealous fit with the time I have with her. Today the first day of the year and he start in on me over potatoes. He believes to be a great cook so he starts crictatizing me over how I am peeling them. On defending myself my mom believe I should just keep quiet and let him abuse me. So I left but I said to her I don’t understand her why should let her handle it when all he does is continue the crap toward me. I decide not to see her anymore until he move out. Tell me what do you think?