We will help you get your mom off drugs!

My mom is an alcoholic and has been for about 5 years. Her face is puffy and her abdomen is bloated. Her arms and legs are just flesh and bone. She doesn’t look healthy. She is in total denial that she has a problem. On top of that, her mother died a few years ago of cirrhosis of the liver. She is now taking care of her boyfriend who lives with her and is in the final stages of cirrhosis. Her boyfriend is dying in her home, right in front of her and she continues to drink. I honestly don’t know what her “rock bottom” is, that is, if it’s not death. She lives in another state so there’s not much I can personally do to help her. Can somebody help me? I don’t know what kind of help I’m seeking here, but if anybody has any advice on how I should confront her or if anyone knows anything about liver disease and whether or not I should be concerned about the health of her liver based on her physical appearance, it would greatly be appreciated.

My father was an alcoholic, as was my mother before she quit drinking. My brother has gone down the same road as my father did. I am not 21 yet, but I have noticed that when I drink, I open up more and become a less stressful and more easy person. With my 21st coming up in April, the juice will be even more accessible. I don’t want to be an alcoholic, but I also want to be everything I become when I am buzzed/drunk (without the jackassery of slurred speech and the stumbling): easy and worry-free. Can I please have some help or advice? I know I should be better than that, to seek some version of myself that shows only when drinking, and actually considering letting myself succumb to that. But I just don’t know.

My sister made an emergency dash home from interstate with her two boys 3 weeks ago, She had left her partner because he has a drug problem. We were all very shocked because we had no idea there was even a problem. She explained that they are 300,000 dollars in debt because of drugs and compulsive shopping “on his part”. Since she has been back and staying at my parents house with her two boys along with my four other siblings (yes there are 9 in the house i’m the only sibling out of home) she has been drinking quite heavily and relying on my mum (who works and looks after 9 people) or my younger sis to watch her kids. I went to have a cup of tea with my mum yesterday and my sister was bragging to me about how much she had drunk the night before then she went to bed without saying anything, we realised when my 4 year old nephew told us she had gone to bed.My mum tells me to stay out of it because my sister and i don’t get along great anyway but as a wife and mother myself I’m finding it difficult not to tell her to grow up and sort her life out.

ok,
family history-
father was supposedly “bad” alcoholic
mother drank but not sure if she was or not. says she craves beers sometimes,, altho does not drink becuz she takes anxiety medicine, which we all have- me, my mom, my dad, and my 4 half sisters.

anyway,
MY history with it anyhow–

a friend invited me over a year ago to her place. i was extremely mad at my stepfather, and i went. when i got in, my friend asked me to try a smirnoff ice. just a wine cooler. typical.
so i did. and.. i LOVED IT. and i had the whole bottle. well then i had like a few chugs off her sisters bottle of budweiser.
first time drinkin.

heres the thing–
compare that ,, to all THIS.

-i ended up trying a shot of smirnoff 100 proof, got buzzed. only a buzz.
-i later went over and had.. oh,, about 2 shots, and got another BUZZ.
-went to illinois after several times of getting buzzed at her house. and a couple times of being drunk.
-went to illinois to go to work a season with my friends back there, got drunk with them, by having about 5 shots (2 1/2 doubleshotter bottles) of UV blue 80 proof.

SO,
then i came home to where i live now, after that ONE time in a month of no-drinky times.

-came home, drank every FRIDAY, literally, and ive drank more and more from that. ive gotta face it.

it takes 2 shots to get me buzzed one day,
it might take 4 the next.
i do NOT know if this is normal.

MAIN THING I HAVE TO ASK–

WHEN i drink, i can NOT stop, usually, and i go on these times where i will like drink friday, and then ill say “oh, what the heck- sure” on saturday (only supposed to drink on fridays!! i try not to go TOO MUCH in to it, u know?!) anyways, and then ill say “oh what the heck” on MONDAY, and then tuesday,, and then.. i did on wednesday too. and.. today.

whats been on my mind here– i do drink alone.
i do not tell people except friends, that i drink.
people tell me ive been drinkin “too much” when they can smell it sometimes.

i dont drink when i am mad. i dont drink when sad.

i drink when i want to laugh at things that are totally retarded,
and when i wanna feel the alcohol in me (literally) cuz.. u know how u can feel those little tingle stingy things in ur arms and legs.? well, anyway,

MOST CONCERNING THING HERE–

reason i wanna keep drinkin-
either, i dont feel im drunk enough cuz i aint stumblin yet (usually i can remember my THOUGHTS when im drunk, but only SOMETIMES the visions i had.)
and,, i get…….. the cravings, i think.

first thing-
this is NOT what id consider a craving , BUT
every time i see an alcoholic beverage or smell alcohol of any form (even freakin hand sanitizer) ive gotta go home and drink some.
geesh..

and i can go on and on about it in a conversation of alcohol.

anyway,
REAL cravings i get–

i dont know if im smellin it on my own breath here, or what, but heres what happens:

i consume a mix drink, that is usually something acidic, 80 proof, 1 shots all it takes, and itll be in a MIX DRINK. where ud THINK i couldnt smell anything or taste anything, which i cant, until i breathe.

when i breathe out, after ANY consumption of something that i know is alcohol, i get this.. this TASTE. it makes me wanna go get my shot glass and go crazy..
its only when i yawn , or take a deep breath, and i can taste the alcohol,, or smell it or something.. is that a craving??
if so, does it mean im dependent??

i just dont wanna be dependent on anything..
alsoo,,
the craving ish things,, they usually occur for 20 min to 2 hours after ive drank anything at ALL. well, except beer.. its got an odd aftertaste that kinda actually dont smell OR taste like anything. maybe cuz its low-alcohol.

Most recently my husband told me that he thinks that I am an alcoholic. I do agree that I drink on the weekends and to make myself feel better under my current circumstances. I have complained to my husband time and time again that I want him to be more loving. He never changes his behavior towards me, so I think that I drink to deal with the situation. I have also noticed that my husband only tells me that he loves me and gives me a compliment when I am doing something for him. So many times I feel like he just wants me around for whatever he can get out of me or whatever I can do for him. When he compliments me it sound so phony and insincere. This I also told him. I tell him to compliment me and tell me that he loves me when I need to hear it, not when he wants me to do something for him but he never does. This makes me feel like he thinks I am stupid. I regret getting married to this personality type because I truly feel that he is this way because he was raised this way. His mother married his father who was an abusive addict and then married another man that she openly says she never loved who is a recovering alcoholic. His sister’s husband was an alcoholic who complained of the same things I am complaining about, so I am starting to recognize some kind of pattern. Is there a name for this kind of relationship? Selfish people who attach themselves to alcoholics? I believe that his mothers husband, his sisters husband and myself eventually become this way because we are sick of the selfishness of the person (and user personality type) we are attached to. I know we cannot and should not blame other people for the things that we do but I do believe that I drink because of the way my husband relates to me. I use to try to please him but stopped only because I started to realize that I was the only one jumping through hoops. He acts like he is doing me a favor by being with me but I am starting to realize that I am the only one who is busting my behind to try to MAKE EVERYTHING work. He never goes out of his way to please me. The only time we do something nice is if he wants to do it himself or if I constantly complain. I guess I know what kind of situation I am in and try to cope with it. I have tried talking to him and have really tried to get him to change but at this point, I truly believe that he is who he is and cannot and will not change. I know that either my life will continue this way or one day I will have the courage to move on but right now I am just trying to cope with my life and find some kind of happiness and satisfaction. Instead of trying to make him happy, I am trying to make myself happy. I am finding that by not trying to go above and beyond for him, I don’t feel so disappointed and rejected when he doesn’t do anything for me. Where do I go from here? Can I or we recover from this sad existence? Can a person who has no develop genuine desirnee to please another? Has anyone lived like this and turned the situation around?

She has been before but only for about 2 weeks and unsuccessful.
When she is drunk she tells us she wants to go to rehab but when she is sober she avoids the question. She also has anxiety disorder and with her phobias on high speed she has been drinking more and more and doesnt eat and looks so sick. She also smokes 2 packs a day. Her psychiatrist of many years is a pill pusher and avoids the fact that she is a non-compliant patient. Right now she takes inderal every once in a while and zoloft every day cause she knows she is VERY depressed. But she is drinking SOOO much. HELP! I want to call the primary doctor cause he doesnt know she is a severe alcoholic!

Drink.
Drink.
Drink.
That’s all you ever do.
You tell me that it’s just one glass,
or it’ll stop tomorrow.
But it’s always a lie.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Everytime your lips touch
that bottle of poison,
You become less of my mother,
and more of my devil.
And I love you,
I really do.
But sometimes,
everyone just get’s tired.
And I am definitely tired
of worrying whether
you are going to drink again
or
you are going to kill yourself
or
you are going to drive drunk.
So I think im just gonna stick
around alittle while longer,
just to see if you’ll really stop
this time.

Ok, this may be long. So I have had suspicions about my dad because he’s always leaving empty alcohol bottles around, like anything that’s alcohol, he WILL drink it. And every night, his balance gets bad, and his speech gets slurred. So I thought that he was just tired you know bad balance, slurred speech. But then on Sunday, (I’m 13 by the way and my two brothers are in college and my mother passed away three years ago so I have no one with me here, just me and my dad.) but anyway, on Sunday my dad got really, really, really drunk and I got Really, really, really scared so I called my aunt to come get me and they told me that my dad has had a drinking problem since before I was born!!!!! And this was like a whole different story, a whole different person! So anyway, I spent two days at my aunt’s house and today I’m back at my house. But here’s the problem: One, he wont talk to me, he is ignoring me like the plague and I really don’t like being ignored for something that is absolutely not my fault. Is it? I mean it’s not like I tell him to get drunk every night (yes. EVERY night) and it’s not my fault that he got really drunk and scared me so bad I was shaking like crazy. And he’s just ignoring me! He’s mad Im sure that I know, but really? Is he serious? How could a person do this? He’s making me feel like a pile of crap because HE chose to get drunk. And the second problem is that Im really afraid that if I try and talk to him, he’s gonna hurt me…. badly. he has quite a temper and has even told me things like “You almost just got hit! Don’t talk to me like that!” And I don’t want to bother my family anymore because all this has done is stressed than out. I don’t know what to do! My aunt wants me to take counseling and I want to too, because i will do ANYTHING to stay out of the house. The truth is I just don’t feel safe here. What should I do? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Ok, this may be long. So I have had suspicions about my dad because he’s always leaving empty alcohol bottles around, like anything that’s alcohol, he WILL drink it. And every night, his balance gets bad, and his speech gets slurred. So I thought that he was just tired you know bad balance, slurred speech. But then on Sunday, (I’m 13 by the way and my two brothers are in college and my mother passed away three years ago so I have no one with me here, just me and my dad.) but anyway, on Sunday my dad got really, really, really drunk and I got Really, really, really scared so I called my aunt to come get me and they told me that my dad has had a drinking problem since before I was born!!!!! And this was like a whole different story, a whole different person! So anyway, I spent two days at my aunt’s house and today I’m back at my house. But here’s the problem: One, he wont talk to me, he is ignoring me like the plague and I really don’t like being ignored for something that is absolutely not my fault. Is it? I mean it’s not like I tell him to get drunk every night (yes. EVERY night) and it’s not my fault that he got really drunk and scared me so bad I was shaking like crazy. And he’s just ignoring me! He’s mad Im sure that I know, but really? Is he serious? How could a person do this? He’s making me feel like a pile of crap because HE chose to get drunk. And the second problem is that Im really afraid that if I try and talk to him, he’s gonna hurt me…. badly. he has quite a temper and has even told me things like “You almost just got hit! Don’t talk to me like that!” And I don’t want to bother my family anymore because all this has done is stressed than out. I don’t know what to do! My aunt wants me to take counseling and I want to too, because i will do ANYTHING to stay out of the house. The truth is I just don’t feel safe here. What should I do? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

My name is Amber, and I myself am not an alcoholic. My mother, however, has been an alcoholic for my entire life and I just found this out recently. She’s taken major steps in hiding her alcoholism from my sister and I but the unavoidable happened. Though I don’t know much about her alcoholism just yet, I’ve asked doctors if the trigger might possibly be PMDD. The doctor who specializes in women and the effects that such a disorder might have told me that PMDD could absolutely be a trigger in my mother’s alcoholic fits. She will only drink every few months, but every time she does it’s a few days before and during her menstrual cycle. For as long as she has been drinking she absolutely refuses to seek any professional help. Her first marriage crumbled because of this, and now her second with my step father is nearly over as well.
I just wish to talk to someone to help me with guidance. I’m completely lost at how to approach her and tell her that this problem that she’s been having for over twenty years might just be set off by a chemical imbalance. It would really help me if I could talk to someone that I knew might be having or had the same problem as my mother. I implore you to read this knowing that the woman who has taken care of me for seventeen years is now in dire need of my help. Please, please help me.

Ok, this may be long. So I have had suspicions about my dad because he’s always leaving empty alcohol bottles around, like anything that’s alcohol, he WILL drink it. And every night, his balance gets bad, and his speech gets slurred. So I thought that he was just tired you know bad balance, slurred speech. But then on Sunday, (I’m 13 by the way and my two brothers are in college and my mother passed away three years ago so I have no one with me here, just me and my dad.) but anyway, on Sunday my dad got really, really, really drunk and I got Really, really, really scared so I called my aunt to come get me and they told me that my dad has had a drinking problem since before I was born!!!!! And this was like a whole different story, a whole different person! So anyway, I spent two days at my aunt’s house and today I’m back at my house. But here’s the problem: One, he wont talk to me, he is ignoring me like the plague and I really don’t like being ignored for something that is absolutely not my fault. Is it? I mean it’s not like I tell him to get drunk every night (yes. EVERY night) and it’s not my fault that he got really drunk and scared me so bad I was shaking like crazy. And he’s just ignoring me! He’s mad Im sure that I know, but really? Is he serious? How could a person do this? He’s making me feel like a pile of crap because HE chose to get drunk. And the second problem is that Im really afraid that if I try and talk to him, he’s gonna hurt me…. badly. he has quite a temper and has even told me things like “You almost just got hit! Don’t talk to me like that!” And I don’t want to bother my family anymore because all this has done is stressed than out. I don’t know what to do! My aunt wants me to take counseling and I want to too, because i will do ANYTHING to stay out of the house. The truth is I just don’t feel safe here. What should I do? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

P.S. Sorry I keep reposting, I need serious help!
He’s drunk right now, and scaring me again!

This is a serious question that has been weighing on me for some time.

I have reason to believe that my mom is an alcoholic, and is abusing my teenage sister. Throughout our lives we have walked on eggshells around my mother. She often tries to turn us against one another, and speaks ill of us behind our backs ( often to one sibling about the other) We aren’t bad children. Neither of us do drugs, we are both A students ( B at some points, but hey, who is perfect?) and we always want to make her happy. Things have always been this way.

There are times, often in the afternoons or the evenings, where my mother will become incoherent. She will stumble whilst walking, and seem out of sorts. This behavior is often combined with glassy eyes, slamming doors/cabinets, screaming of obscenities ( sometimes at us, sometimes at thin air) and horrid, manipulative behavior. She will bad mouth my fiance, speak ill of my stepfather (who is a saint!) and break things ( such as plates and glasses) leaving the mess for all of us to walk on and get hurt.

As much as I believe it is alcohol, I have seen no alcohol in the house aside from my private stash, which is usually a bottle of wine (one I know she hates and will not touch with a 10 foot pole). I hide it very well, and mark the bottle. No one drinks it but me.

My mom does not work, and has no disposable income.

She recently tried to pin her behavior on a change of life, Menopause. I don’t know about you, but i am NOT buying it! I know mood swings are normal, hot flashes, fatigue– but nowhere have I seen this sort of behavior listed!

What is even worse, is that no one believes us! Around our extended family (the only people we can go to for help!!) she hides her behavior! Time and ago, she would stealthily get rid of her wine bottles before my dad got home, and hide her stash under the sink with the cleaning products. She also has tried to convince me to buy wines, attributing qualities to them that they do not have, to make them seem appealing to me. If i buy something she likes, she will drink it– so there is no way I am falling for it!

Our stepdad knows what is going on, but is too afraid to do anything. the whole bloody family is in denial, and my sister and i, the ones who have to deal with this, don’t know what to do!

Please, please help us. What can we do to fix this? We don’t want to leave our stepdad alone.
I am in my 20′s and in college, my sister is in her teens and just graduated High school. She is not legal.

Thank you, so much.

Hey there the names Michele. I’m 18, and my son is almost 9 months. I live with my dad who is a very bad alcoholic. He drinks beer from morning to night and becomes verbally abusive and sometimes physically. He doesn’t care about anyone else but himself and that is very hard for me since I need help with my son. He’s kicked me out when i was pregnant too many times I can’t even count, and even after I gave birth to my son. I bounced back from town to town, living with my sister and my dad. I have taken the next step on being a good mother and protecting myself and my son from this monster, and filled out an application for housing. They said they were gonna send me a letter letting me know when there is an appartment open, but that was a few weeks ago, and i need to call them. My only option is to move out, my sister who has raised me my whole life lives in a different town about 45 minutes away, and my mom and I don’t have the best mother daughter relationship. I don’t think I can take this anymore, I’m very depressed and that affects how I parent my son. My son’s father wants nothing to do with us so that makes me more angry.
I’ve researched online about support groups for teenagers who have alcoholic parents, and the nearest to me is about 6 hours away. My dad has been to rehab 3 times, detox once, and he’s also been in the [nut house] and had to take anger managment. I’ve had a very bad childhood he’s drank my whole life and I rarely see him sober.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
Please help!
Thanks!

First, my father is an ahcoholic. Tonight, my 8 year old son had his end of the year program at school. My mother and father came together. I sat next to me father and he reeked of alcohol. I was upset with him and somewhat embarrassed. I am on PTO, a classroom volunteer and am respected at the school. I feel like he should not have come like that. I knew I could not say anything to him because I have learned you cannot reason with an intoxicated person. I should point out that he did not “act” drunk. I knew he was beacuse I know him…he just smelled awful. Anyway, as we were leaving I said to me mom “why did you let him come in that condition?” She said ” I did’nt LET him…talk to him.” She called me 2 hours later crying and asked me if I knew what it was like to live with an alcoholic and was upset that I “crawled all over her” for asking why she did not say something to him. She hung up on me. I dont understand what I did wrong. Help.

I am a middle aged man. My daughter, 10, and former wife would occasionally go to visit my parents house, to visit and cut Mom’s hair.
Last time it got ugly with grandpa crossing a line with a little too much affection with my daughter’s mother, he also would not let go of her. She also said that my daughter stated, quote”Grandpa was acting funny” When I attempted to contact my Mother via phone, he answered and said “stop being an A#$hole, goodbye” I assume he thinks I told my daughter’s mother not too go there any more but it was her decision. I do feel bad for my mother, but codependency and denial is rampant in that house; I don’t know what to do.
I am tired of the old mans behavior,smoking indoors, drinking to excess, age-innapropriate references; he has been difficult for years, and my daughter’s well being is my main priority as a parent.

I have a panic disorder and a psychotic disorder. My mother is drinking herself to death and my father is going senile. I have a supportive by very pushy girlfriend. What can I do with my mother? She will not go into treatment and right now she’s laying in her chair drunk and vomiting. My father can do nothing but help as much as he can. My girlfriend is good to me but she pushes me to get off of my medication and pushes me into extremely uncomfortable situations in order to try to break my illness.
Right now I’m getting a cold and I am freaking out. I have no health insurance and my medication is running out. Please help me. I’d commit suicide if it weren’t for my girlfriend and my own fear of death.

The twist is that I’m 20, my grandparents adopted me and my real mother just moved out(she doesn’t drink but is very ill with depression). Now no one can take care of my while my adopted parents suffer. I just want to die, there’s no one I can turn to. I don’t know how to live a normal life like everyone else. please help me.

For more than half my life I’ve lived with my single parent mother going on and off alcohol with such short notice.

Ever since my first year of High School, I began to realise the problem was more than just a relaxing drink in the evening; walking downstairs for a glass of water at 3am found my mother unconscious on the floor, a bottle of Glen’s Vodka in her hand. From here onwards, everything began to spiral out of control. My entire life has been affected by this alcoholic mother.

I have been held hostage in my own home so I couldn’t tell anyone about her drinking problem – she broke and disconnected every phone in the house to go with this; I’ve been starved and forgotten, because she would spend everything she had on alcohol. My own money has been stolen whenever she could get her hands on it; over £200. She has verbally abused me, physically attacked me; I have been thrown down stairs and thrown out of my own house because I threatened to tell.

Last year, I was able to escape for a while and take shelter at my friend’s house for a few months. But now that friend is no longer talking to me and I’m lost.

Please. After everything she’s done I still love her as much as I possibly can. My father left us when I barely a year old, so I don’t really have anyone else in the house to turn to apart from my mother as I’m an only child. If anyone can give me advice on how to get away, or how to cope with the situation before it gets to a stage no one can come back from, I would appreciate it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

The Bible commands stoning to death fo the alcoholic, and describes the addiction as gluttony, and even while the alcoholic is still under the care and protection of his parents, who must have him stoned to death(Deuteronomy 21:18-21).
The Gospels report Jesus as providing wine at the wedding at Cana to increase drunkenness, and as a Sacrament at the last supper.
John the Baptist “shall be great in the sight of the Lord and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink” (Luke 1:15) and John said he was not worthy to unloose the latchet of Christ’s shoes (Luke 3:16), which is an indication that Christ would be greater and therefore never sin by gluttony or drunkenness and promoting sin.
John’s mother named him John and refused a change of name for him (Luke 1:59,60), while the Gospels refuse to show the mother of Christ naming him Immanuel as the Bible prophesied and commanded.
Jesus appears 616 times in the 4 Gospels while Christ appears 51 times in the brainwash of the reader.

He holds a job as a school administrator (30yrs now), so during his time off (summers, weekends) he stays out until 2-4am. We are separated for 6 wks, married 6 years. According to information I have gathered, I enabled his behavior, as did his family (mother, cousins, etc.) but it came to a breaking point where I couldn’t stand his actions anymore. Many things improved after he left(verbal abuse, cursing, coldness, loud snoring because of the alcohol). But I have started to get lonely on the weekends and wonder why he won’t call. I know better in my HEAD, but I hate the fact that my marriage is about to end.
Someone told me a possible reason he won’t call is that I won’t enable him anymore. I know he’s drinking and seeking out other friendships. We could have had a great marriage & I’m sad. My question? Opinions about why he won’t call and could it be that because I won’t enable him, he is looking for someone who will? We’re 54, so the foolishness should have stopped long before no

My mother and her grandfather were alcoholics. I drink some alcohol (parents know and are fine with it), but not often. But I also get a lot of cravings for it when I’m upset with something.
Is this normal?