We will help you get your mom off drugs!

He WAS a violent alcoholic, but he has since gone through a treatment program. I really miss him, but I think my parents and friends would go APE on me if I did get back together with him. But, I love him, and I did take my marriage vows, “for better or for worse”… Alcoholism is an illness, right? “In sickness and in health”… I never would have separated from him in the first place, but someone I know reported it to the police after he held a gun to my head, strangled me, punched me in the face and threw me across the hall. And then my mom came out and marched me to my lawyer’s office to file for a divorce. I never would have made that choice myself. I love him.

One more thing… He is almost 30 years older than me. He’s older than my mother, but he’s a month and 19 days younger than my father. Just in case that makes a difference in your answer.

Thanks for the advice!

My dad’s depressed because my mother died 6 years ago. He still can’t get over it, and now is drinking every single night, staring at a refrigerator, and listening to Christmas music. He’s very stubborn to do anything different since he’s become disabled. He drinks to feel good, and obviously that’s a sign of depression and alcoholism. A few months ago, I practically saved him from suicide, but helping him is like talking to a wall.

My brother is 26 and lives at home with no job for 8 months, not going to college,contributes rarely to the house, and sleeps all day. Plus, he’s home all the time, and I mean that literally. He goes out of the house like once a week.

I’m like the complete opposite of them from being a social butterfly to going to college, etc. Should I even bother trying to help them longer, or should I just keep my distance and live my own life?

My father has cirrhosis due to alcoholism. He drinks about 1L of vodka daily and probably eats about 500 calories worth of food. He has lost about 50lbs in the last year, and his face and arms are covered in lesions. His stomach is large, but the rest of him is skin and bones. He has drank heavily for the last decade, but his condition has really deteriorated over the last year. He also has Type II diabetes, but he stopped taking his medication. My question is how long can I expect him to live? He will not stop or slow his drinking. I am just worried about my mother and brother because they are in a horrible situation. My brother decided to wait to go to college because he did not want to leave my mom alone with my dad.
I am not trying to be cold. I spent years begging my father to stop drinking. He does not want to. He has stated several times that he has no desire to live and doesn’t care how anyone else feels. He refuses to see a doctor anymore. I just worry about the damage this is doing to my little brother.

I am a 25 year old female and have been dealing with an alcoholic father for my whole life as well as all of the ramifications of being an ACOA. He is not, nor has he ever been, physically abusive or *purposely* emotionally abusive (because I do consider alcoholism a disease I feel as though it isn’t completely his fault that he was angry and neglectful while we were growing up). He doesn’t drink everyday. In fact, I have never seen him with a drink, or beer, in his hand. Ever. He is a “closet drinker”. He will go weeks, months, even years without drinking (to my knowledge) and then binges alone in a bedroom or hotel room for days, or even weeks. When he was living with us (until I was 16) it was scary. He would pass out and there was nothing I could do to wake him up. I’d call my mom home from work (she was working nights), and tell her “Daddy won’t wake up”. I didn’t really understand. One time when she got home she called an ambulance because he was unresponsive. He has been to the hospital for detox many times, and has been to outpatient rehab. Unfortunately, he doesn’t not feel “AA is for him”. Most of his family and all of his friends are no longer in contact with him. After his last binge (within the last month), my sisters and I broke. We snapped. We can’t take it anymore. The inconsistency, the guilt, constantly blaming ourselves saying “maybe if we went to visit him more, he wouldn’t need to drink” etc. All 3 of us are in different stages of grief at the moment varying from numbness, to denial, to anger. For the time being, we had our mother call him and say “you need to find help, and you need to get better. You are doing no good for yourself, and you are damaging your daughters in the process. Please don’t contact them until you recover”. I feel like this will not doing him any good, but my sisters argue that it isn’t doing us any good either and we need to start worrying about ourselves for a change. I am exhausted. I am devastated. And I am lost. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. If we leave him, what will his motivation be to get better? He was never a great father, never 100% there but he’s still a human being and he still shares my blood. I feel like it’s my responsibility to be there and be supportive for him. My boyfriend thinks this is damaging me, and wants me to no longer speak with my father. He even suggested changing my last name. I think this is extreme, and the exact opposite of what my father needs. If he had a flat tire, my father would truly have no one to call. I’m currently reading books on alcoholism and families, including Perfect Daughters, How Al-Anon Works, and a few others I checked out of the library. They are very eye-opening, but don’t exactly give advice on this. I feel like I cannot abandon someone to be alone in this world, but I also can no longer keep getting hurt by him. I am going to work on myself, and hopefully seek help for myself soon (but JEEZ! Therapy is expensive! Even with insurance). I imagine that if I fix myself, answers will be more clear as to how to handle this situation but I fear I don’t have that much time. I worry that if he doesn’t seek help soon, he will drink himself to death… or possibly die from the health issues that surrounded his latest binge (gout, heart problems, internal bleeding of his kidney). Any words of wisdom, support, or advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I’m not alone… but it still hurts.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate it.

She doesn’t drink all the time but it seems alot more than most people i know….i’d say 3 to 5 times a week….she denies it and frankly sometimes she can go three weeks without drinking….but i still feel like she has a problem….she drinks to basically get fucked up and honestly i never like her drunk…..she embarrases me in front of people….she doesn’t hold back some pretty wrong things to say to others and i think she get’s more short tempered and arguementative with my father….he’s half the cause of her stress and i understand sometimes but i just don’t think it helps her or anyone else….even if you answer this and she is an alcoholic or a dependent on it i’m not sure if i can even do anything about it, i’ve tried to have her stop and what not but to no avail…..oi what a crappy topic i hate to talk about….what do i do about this?

I’m 16. I’ve tried telling my mother many, many times that I hate it when she drinks.
She blames it on her crappy life and being stuck in this house.
It bothers me a ton that she drinks.

My sister is an alcoholic. Her alcoholism has cost her her marriage her job and the custody of her children. I get along great with her kids step mother and I actually prefer the step mother company than my sister’s. The problem is that she comes to the family functions and always feels the need to bring up past issues up in front of my other sisters and brothers signifacte others that will embrass us. When we watch movies she cant seem to shut up and when you do call her on her lies she plays the victim. Her children want nothing to do with her. She lies to my parent and takes advantage of their generosity. Fails to pay her bills on time and lets my parents pick up the tab. She is 34 years old. It wasnt until her husband left her in 2006 that we even knew she had a problem with alcohol. We all have gone out of way to help her stay sober but she continues to drink and bring drama to our family. I’m at the point where I have anxiety when I know she is going 2 b around.
Here is the situation. She goes to AA she is going to church people pray for her but she LIES to everybody. My parents believe everything she says. I have told them many times to let her fall on her face. They say they will but don’t. My thing is how do I deal with her so I dont beat her up when she makes a stupid comment and end up making myself look like the bad guy. I am tried of her. I am nice to her because I have to be and out of respect to my parents but my God yesterday it took all my might not to punch her in her face. I’m the quitest one in the family. I am nice to everyone but I cant seem to let go and get over the crap she has pulled at the family functions. Everyone else just ignores it I can’t anymore. Any suggestions?
I do avoid her and I don’t even talk to her. She feels the need to always bring up my name followed by a lie as if she is intentionaly looking to make me look bad in front of my family. After she leaves everyone is talking about can you beleive she said this and can you believe she said that yet they do not say anything to her face. I would stay away from my family functions but then I would be missing out on my neices and nephews lives. I just want to get over the anger and resent I have toward her. Oh most of which stems from the various drunk vm she left on my cell when she was angery for not seeing her kids. My other sister insists on intviting her to all the functions and so do my parents because they feel sorry that her kids do not want to have anything to do with her.
I do have visitation with my alcoholic sister’s children. I would be missing out on the fun with my other sisters and brothers the ones I actually get along with and their kids.

I’m 20 my boyfriends 21. We have been together off and on since I have been 15. We have found out I’m 5 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend struggles with indulging in alcohol and when he’s drunk it leads him to drugs. he got in a car reck and had to go to icu where he couldn’t even get out of his bed. He received a dui and already had warrents at the time. After that he changed and wanted to be clean so we got an apt together and have been there for 4 mnths. He has never acted bad except foer last nite. He spent his entire check 400.00 dollars on alcohol and drugs in ONE night. I didn’t even see him and he blaming me and my dad that we stole 200 frm him. The day b4 he was drinking as well and told me he didn’t want a bigger woman as his babys mom. I jus got my hair cutt and he said maybe he would be nicer if I didn’t look like a dike. He also too my bag of baby stuff frm rachels house who confirmed I was prgnant and riped the papers up as well as the diaper and threw the toy monkey and baby cup on the floor when the cup cracked. I don’t know if he’s scred about the baby and lashing out or what’s going on??? I went to my moms last night. I’m thinking abiut going back even though there is no room for me and this baby when it comes. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do? What would you do?

When I was younger, my dad used to get drunk. Him and my mom would yell at each other practically every night, but it never got to physical abuse. I don’t think his alcoholism ever progressed to a state where it seriously affected me, but I could be misjudging things. When I was about ten years old, they separated, had an ugly separation and divorce filled with harassment (through me at times) and other problems. Now I live with my mom, who never drinks. She’s had a bad childhood with an adopted unmedicated bipolar mother, so she has her share of scars too. I have found out that my mother must be a co-alcoholic, she has the extreme mood swings, outbursts about tiny things when you least expect it, etc. Then after these outbursts it is like everything is fine, and most times I receive a serious apology, which doesn’t stop the cycle from repeating again. Now that you all have the story, here are my questions: How badly was I really affected by my dad’s drinking, what is going on with my mom and how badly is her behavior affecting me, and what would happen if my mom started drinking a little bit?

My mom is on her way home from a 2 week drinking binge. She hasn’t drank for 15 years. I’m an adult but my little brother is only 14 and needs his mother so sending her to rehab might make her better but he wont be able to see her for some time. If she stays home she wont drink so if I could come up with a home rehab plan It would work out for the best i think. Please tell me a website or something or anything would help. Your help will be greatly appreciated.

If I learn my limits and try to be as responsible as possible with alcohol, will I be okay? Or will I always be at too much of risk of falling into alcoholism myself? I have seen the horrors that alcoholics can create; I love my mom more than anything, but I would never want to end up like her alcoholic self–or even worse, implement that on to others, especially a family.

my mom is alcoholic, sort of, ever science kemo therapy a half glass of wine has the same effect that a bottle has on a normal person. she went out for a “walk” with my step dad (who usually drinks about a bottle and a half a night and the passes out) she said she would be back in a half hour, she and my step dad came back three hours later and my step dad is now watching tv and calling me a “mother f$%*#er” my mom is now shouting “just go live with your father!” she made me go with my dad in michigan last summer, im visiting her in vail for thanks giving. what should i do to get her to stop yelling at me? in the long term how can i convince her to go to AA or quit drinking by some other means?

my moms ben drinkin since before i can remember. shes 48 years old and has had 4 kids. shes never had a job for more than a month and she lives on the streets..i had to live with my grandma almost all my life until i turned 13 and my dad quit doin drugs so could live with him…my moms ben in and out of my life since before i can remember…a couple weeks ago was my 16th birth day and i got no phone call from her this was weird because thats normaly the 1 time a year i hear from her…so i made a few phone calls trying to find her and someone gave me a number, they also said that shes in wose shape then ever. i called her the next morning (thats the one time of day i can get her sober) i got hold of her and she told me she was going to rehab. Ive heard all of this before and i didnt believe her..later that day i called that number again hopeing she would have gone but nope she answered the phone drunk……..the reason im writing this is because im sick of the bull shit all i want is my mom to be better i dont know what 2 say to her she dosnt listen i feel like im not worth it 2 her.

my mom has been drinking beers since i could remember. i even know her patterns. she’ll skip a day and drink like a whole 4-5 cans the next day and so on and so on. i tried telling her she’s an alcoholic and she’s addicted but she denies it all the time. she say something like” an alcoholic drinks liquor everyday and all day long” “an alcoholic wakes up drinking and is a psycho lunatic”. i’m like mom, an alcoholic is any person who depends on any kind of alcoholic bevarage, it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter how many days a week you drink it, nor how calm or how crazy it makes you. the point is you drink it all the time and cant stop, which makes you an addict. she also complains about her stomach being so big and round. i told her its the beer and she calls me a liar.shes trying to diet but yet she still drinks 4-5 beers every other day. am i right or wrong? and what can i do to convince her to leave the beers alone.
oh and when my mom drinks beers, its like she transforms into a different person, her looks change, and she can look really mean, her voice gets deeper, and she talks illiterate. the next day she’s totally normal again
tjs: are you crazy? of course shes depended on it..duh. she drinks it every other day and will go crazy if she cant have it. and beer is no better than alcohol, it has alot of yeast and you can get drunk. whos been teaching you? triple thumbs down
Fortunate son: so drinking 4-5 can a beer every other day, and sometimes two days a row isnt an alcoholic? i dont think you know your facts. and how many time do i have to see she will go crazy if she cant have her beer, which means she depend on it and it does make her an alcoholic if she doesnt stop. and 4 cans is a case, i’ve seen her pick them up in the store since i was tiny. some of you people must be beer drinkers and are defending yourselves

How can I protect the kids? They are not being harmed right now and are away from their father who beats the mother. The mother is an alcoholic and has hit her daughter, but not the son yet. They are not in imminent danger so CPS won’t really do anything concrete and could scare my sister away from at least a safe environment with my parents. She won’t enter rehab or stop drinking either.

Well i bought one with my mom and this is the first time i have ever try ed it, but when i showed my sister she said that it had alcohol in it like shots, and im thinking since i never had alcohol and I didn’t know i read over the full bottle but i couldn’t find anything wrong with it like a warning of alcohol or something, anyway does it have alcoholic or alcoholic ingredients??
Also is it healthy for you and your body??

I have very bad anxiety. Before i go out with my boyfriend i drink a few beers to calm my nerves,they dont make me drunk, but just tipsy and enough to relax me. I dont want to go to the doctor about my anxiety because she will just put me on tablets and i dont want that(tablets have already ruined my moms life). I’m glad that alcohol eases the pain of my anxiety but i know it’s only a short term fix.

It is called the Adios Mother $#!%^& and I’d like to try it but hate to call it by its name

My mother drinks a glass or two of wine everyday. I don’t think she ever gets drunk from it, but she drinks it every single day. Then when she forgets to pick up some wine from the liquor store, she complains about it like she needs it. I never really thought of her as an alcoholic. I always thought of an alcoholic as someone abusive who drinks all the time to get drunk. Would you consider my mother to be an alcoholic?

I’m only 15. I dont think I should have to deal with my own mom every night getting drunk and keeping me up too 12 at night. Lately, my mom is getting bigger bottles. She normally gets small bottles, and only drinks one a night but it’s getting worse. She went fucking berzerk one night when I didnt give her the other half of her drink (which she said at least 4 times before that she didn’t want) I ran in my room and locked the door and sat behind the door while she slammed herself into it and made dents in it. It lasted about an hour and I was scared to death. That happened only last week. Another time is when I had my friend sleeping over (this was a few eyars ago) and my mom was making stew (soup) and she was doing it drunk. Then I noticed she was walking back and forth to the kitchen to the bathroom so I got up and there was pools of blood everywhere. She cut her finger off while cutting the carrots. Then she had to go to th E.R. My parents are devoiced (has bin for about 7 years) and she had to drive by herself (I was so scared I didn’t think about calling someone to help) so me and my friend got into the her car and drove away. We live about 45 min from a hospital and at night. We almost crashed a number of times. I dont know why me and my friend went, but we thought we could keep her from driving off the road (which we did). Anyway, how can I get my mom to stop drinking so much every night? She doesn’t have health ensurence so she can’t go to rehab. Do you know what I can do? I dread when it becomes night time and she takes her first shot. I know whats comeing and I hate it. She starts at 7 so its way to early to go to bed. Help? :(