We will help you get your mom off drugs!

a couple months back my mom started dating this guy
and he has a drinking problem. big time. he drinks morning to night
his hands are swollen from it, and hes been in and out of rehab
but no success. hes like 20 years older than my mom…

im 18 and my little sister is 13. and we live with our 84 year old grandma and mom
but when shes gone to her boyfriends, my sister and gma are my responsibility.
thats not an issue. but how can i root this drunk out of our lives?
seriously. he causes unnecessary strain on all of us.
Ive tried explaining it to her, and shes broken up with him, but hes always sick
(due to the alcoholism) and always pitys her back to him
i cant talk to him, hes selfish. and always drunk. he says ”im sorry i love her”
whenever i tell him that we need her around.
i dont know what to do…?

I am an alcoholic and have been doing good on and off and I need to know if it is me or the people around me!?
I want to know if it is me or I am crazy,Please help, Ok Im 27years old I have been drinking on and off for years and for the last three weekends I have came home and drank I live with my boyfriend of two years whom I love very much, and he does not work and pays no bills(also he paid 2400$ to get us in this place and in his eyes I have forever been in debt to him) and my mothers husband just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident I have been very stressed and trying not to drink but I have been coming home every weekend to find that my house is a mess,and he needs me to drive him to the store etc.and the cats have not been taken care of,also my boyfriend has been smoking pot with our female neighbor and speaking w her while im gone all week and this bothered me very much and I would come home and not had any intentions to drink and he would start in right away telling me Are you gonna drink ******* alcoholic slut basically anything he can to hurt me and I begged pleaded and cryd and told him I cant have him hanging out with that neighbor smoking pot and conversating (he is not supposed to be smoking at this point)……soooo he promises me he wont….low and behold he quits smoking pot and continues talking to this woman while im gone working and paying the bills(mind you he has no car and I have to drive him anywhere)also he says its just friends and to be honest I don’t think its appropriate to do so while im gone all week knowing it makes me uncomfortable……sooo this last weekend I come home early go to the store buy steaks n good eats for the night and rented a movie(also not I did not buy any alcohol cause I did not intend to drink at all) …. first thing he says to me is I know all about you and you have done this and that and it would take me to long to right point being also while I was gone he started talking to my cousin sadie and she told him basically 1/3 truth and 2/3rds absolute bullshit and I went ballistic because I being attacked by him and he was believing all the crap she was telling him(also it was not about cheating or anything it was things about my alcoholism from the past and she lied about things I have done she told him that I had wrecked my grandmothers car that I had burnt alot of bridges and crazy **** that he ate up in a heart beat not to mention she is very pretty and he falls for that crap) sooooo I was crying and very upset and told him I couldn’t take this anymore and low and behold I left and got very very drunk (bad descion) ultimately it boils down to this am I crazy drunk or do I need to remove myself from this situation please help!!

Also his reasoning behind stressing me out is that hes concernd about my well being and thats why he was talking to them but I think thats crap when I make an effort and out and out tell him what will help me and I cant see how calling someone names and accusing them of lies and saying yaa go put all your money down your throat thats what your gonna do anyways I know all about you, is gonna help any alcoholic but please tell me if im wrong I need answers

I want to know if it is me or I am crazy,Please help, Ok Im 27years old I have been drinking on and off for years and for the last three weekends I have came home and drank I live with my boyfriend of two years whom I love very much, and he does not work and pays no bills(also he paid 2400$ to get us in this place and in his eyes I have forever been in debt to him) and my mothers husband just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident I have been very stressed and trying not to drink but I have been coming home every weekend to find that my house is a mess,and he needs me to drive him to the store etc.and the cats have not been taken care of,also my boyfriend has been smoking pot with our female neighbor and speaking w her while im gone all week and this bothered me very much and I would come home and not had any intentions to drink and he would start in right away telling me Are you gonna drink fucking alcoholic slut basically anything he can to hurt me and I begged pleaded and cryd and told him I cant have him hanging out with that neighbor smoking pot and conversating (he is not supposed to be smoking at this point)……soooo he promises me he wont….low and behold he quits smoking pot and continues talking to this woman while im gone working and paying the bills(mind you he has no car and I have to drive him anywhere)also he says its just friends and to be honest I don’t think its appropriate to do so while im gone all week knowing it makes me uncomfortable……sooo this last weekend I come home early go to the store buy steaks n good eats for the night and rented a movie(also not I did not buy any alcohol cause I did not intend to drink at all) …. first thing he says to me is I know all about you and you have done this and that and it would take me to long to right point being also while I was gone he started talking to my cousin sadie and she told him basically 1/3 truth and 2/3rds absolute bullshit and I went ballistic because I being attacked by him and he was believing all the crap she was telling him(also it was not about cheating or anything it was things about my alcoholism from the past and she lied about things I have done she told him that I had wrecked my grandmothers car that I had burnt alot of bridges and crazy shit that he ate up in a heart beat not to mention she is very pretty and he falls for that crap) sooooo I was crying and very upset and told him I couldn’t take this anymore and low and behold I left and got very very drunk (bad descion) ultimately it boils down to this am I crazy drunk or do I need to remove myself from this situation please help!!
Also his reasoning behind stressing me out is that hes concernd about my well being and thats why he was talking to them but I think thats crap when I make an effort and out and out tell him what will help me and I cant see how calling someone names and accusing them of lies and saying yaa go put all your money down your throat thats what your gonna do anyways I know all about you, is gonna help any alcoholic but please tell me if im wrong I need answers

My father is a severe alcoholic and it has recently come to my attention that he is more than likely abusing prescription medications (opiates) as well. On average I have seen him drink a 6 pack of bud and 2 22oz bottles every day, sometimes starting as early as 10 am and never waiting till after 5 pm. The other day I noticed that he didn’t drink at all but showed no signs or symptoms of withdrawal, seeing as how he has had this habit for well over 15 years I am wondering how this was possible or what else he took to keep from exhibiting any signs of detox. I am concerned for him but have long since learned that I cannot control his abuse, and now I am 9 months pregnant and living with him due to the recent loss of my mother. I am more concerned about how out of hand his addiction overall is and what harm this could bring to my daughter once I bring her home. I have already started looking at alternate living situations due to these concerns but in the mean time I would really like to know about how much danger we are in. I have caught him using “bath salts” that he purchased online and I know he gets a prescription of hydrocodone on a regular basis, on top of all the medications he has stolen from me (I was on xanax and percocet and am still getting prescriptions for them due to my own disability, I have discontinued the frequent use of these medications under a doctors supervision but am still prescribed them as needed- which he steals). I am fortunate that I can control my own addictions as well as I have been and not take the medications habitually to the point of addiction, but I can clearly see this is not the case with him. I am pretty well educated on substance abuse issues after having been on such highly addictive medications for over 10 years and also have a degree in social science with a minor in chemical dependency. I just don’t have first hand knowledge of alcoholism to this extent and am still an undergraduate so I don’t know what the chances are that this wouldn’t affect him greatly (going without the constant heavy usage of alcohol unless under the influence of another substance) or what could possibly hide the withdrawal of the alcohol that well. Any help is appreciated.

I am 44. We are married 25 years. He says he is not interested and I know he is not having an affair. I believe he is having a problem with his ability to perform due to alcoholism. I am still attractive and am complimented by men quite often on my looks and personality. I have never cheated in my marriage. But now I am lonely and very sad. He refuses help for our marriage (told me to go to counseling alone) and will not try to stop drinking. He drinks between 12 to 20 beers every night. Sometimes he falls asleep and sometimes he is very mean to me. I sound like an idiot (on paper) for staying. He always drank but this last year has been horrible. He lost his mother 1 year ago and has not stopped drinking since. He won’t allow anyone to help him. Friends and relatives have tried. Everyone kind of looks at me like I am crazy for not leaving. I am trying to keep myself positive but I do know the truth. When do I say enough is enough? I also go to al-anon each week. There are also men there that have shown interest in me. I just don’t know what to do. Please help. Thanks!

Okay so heres my story… about a year ago my father started drinking again… after he promised me and my familly that he would stop. He was a heavy drinker in the past, and still is, and when I say my Dad is an Alcoholic, i mean he is an ALCOHOLIC. He is quite literally drunk almost every minute of every day, he skips work at weeks at a time to stay at home and drink, and every hour or so he goes into the garage to take yet another shot of hard liquor. I might add as well that my Dad isn’t a crazy,wild,abusive drunk… hes more of a mellow… just sit there drunk. He sits in the same spot for days at a time… and only gets up to go to the bathroom or to drink more.

Needless to say, my Dad needs help. I’m scared he will lose his job…and his life. I fear that he will soon drink himself to death, and my mom does also. She threatens to leave him until he straightens up, but my Dad refuses to beilive he has a problem. His Alcoholism is not only affecting his work, his family, his life… but also…. me. After a horrific episode with Marijuana around 4 months ago my life has not been the same. After a panic attack with marijuana, i face constant De-Realization/Depersonalization.. Depression..Anxety..and Stress. Needless to say I will never use that stuff for as long as i live… but thats besides the point. Anyway… I see a Psycologist and he feels the chaos inside my house is only feeding my Anxiety.

So far I plan on going to group sessions with teenagers whos fathers are Alcoholics…I try and meditate and use relaxation exersises as frequently as i can… but I still can’t shake the frustration and anxiety that my Father is creating. He is not only making me depressed.. but also my mother, and my house is no longer a sanctuary… but a depressing place to be.

Anyway… I suppose my question is .. how can me and my Mom open my fathers eyes…and make him realize he his destroying his own life… and my own. The constant Anxiety i feel weighs more and more everyday, my life feels like its in shambles.. and sometimes.. honestly i feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I am only 15… and have my whole life ahead of me, but with this constant De-realization and depression..I feel like I am stuck in no-mans land.

Can Anyone please give me advice on what I should do to help my Anxiety… help my Dad….. and overall help my life? Any answers I will seriously appreciate and hope someone can help me. Thanks in Advance.

A young guy that is 23 years of age I know loves to get drunk…in fact he can drink a 24 case of beer in just one sitting. I know the signs of an alcoholic because, a close family members is a recovering alcoholic…you know, hiding the liquor, drinking alone, feeling bad about drinking and etc. This young man says he doesn’t feel bad about his drinking, he doesn’t drink alone, and he doesn’t feel bad about it and doesn’t see anything wrong with getting “messed up” and “stupid drunk” every weekend or several times a week if that is what he chooses to do. He just admitted recently that he is a drunk, but that it doesn’t affect him holding down a job and taking care of his personal business. I see it as a possible problem because, I have witness him in his drunkenness; he gets into fights with innocent people, he grab some woman’s butt one time at a beer fest and then he refused to apologize, he is either really nice or really mean and hostile when drunk, he will lose his wallet and phone…there were two instances where he got so drunk that he landed him in the hospital and another time he was stranded somewhere unknown in the dead of winter. This guy tells me that it is “normal” for his culture to drink (he is Mexican) and that it’s something he will slow down with age, but I beg to differ. Knowing how alcohol addiction can affect the addict and the loved ones, it’s not something that you wake up one day and say “I won’t drink anymore” it progresses. So if he has been drinking since the age of 15 and he is 23 now, at one point does he think he will be able to “slow down?” Esp. if he sees nothing wrong with it and his friends and family are drinking to drunk as well. I told him that it’s not enough to just have a job and take care of business, if he continues to think that drinking to get drunk is a way of having fun, he will ruin not only his life, but his health as well…his mother has talked to him about it, but he won’t stop…he says he won’t rather he will just “slow down” as he gets older.

What do you guys think? Is he right about just being a drunk and not an alcoholic? Is there a difference (I think it is based on my research and personal exp. in dealing with a loved one suffering from liver disease due to alcoholism)?

If you have an alcoholic relative (mother – she drinks 130+ units a week and has done for the last 30 years), and who is also addicted to prescription meds, who refuses to admit she has a problem, and refuses to go to the doctors even for a health check (please don’t suggest ways of persuading her – my dad has been trying for 30 years and we’ve done everything we can), is there anything that can be done, or is it just a case of waiting for her to die? As in are there any intervention things we can do that won’t entail getting her out to a doctor? Or is alcoholism and depression ever sectionable? Please only answer if you know what you’re talking about. As I said, this is a question about what’s available in the UK, I’m aware there’s stuff in the US but that doesn’t exactly help me! Thanks.

She goes out every second night until 2 am comes home stays up till 5 or 6, she’s out every night of the weekend including sundays.

She has a 5 year old kid that she constantly gets other people to look after while she is out. She says the pub is her second home.

BUT when I looked up alcoholism it says it isn’t a concern unless it’s affecting relationships/work among other things.. and I have to say this girl is keeping it together pretty good.

She works at night so the hours are perfect for her. The only negative things she does is sleep alot drink a lot and get other people to look after her kid.

She’s obviously not the best mother but is she an alcoholic? And if so.. why?

I need help for my alcoholic father. Because of his alcoholism I was kicked out, he shut off my cell, took my car, he is getting a divorce from my mother but is currently cheating, he put our family in debt for years and caused a lot of trouble for us all. I have tried talking to him about it, I have even taken him to AA meetings and took him to the hospital when he was Detoxing. He refuses to admit he has a problem, he is drunk 24/7 and even drinks and drives, goes to work drunk. He picked me up from work yesterday and was drinking vodka in the car. I need some advice on what to do, is there any numbers I can call so they can take care of it? I know there are CPS, but is there something for adults? He needs medical help, or jail time. What can I do?

ok my sister (22) is my guardian and has been for about 11 months. She took me in when my past gaurdian my uncle james went back to his alcoholic addiction and started abusing me. My mother abandoned me at age 12 and i have no idea where she is. My sister is a CNA and works about 5 days a week. She goes out 6-7 days out of the week to the pub or club and has been non stop for 5 months. Her son (2) is with me for 12 hours a day. From the moment she leaves for work to the moment she comes back from the bar 230-3 am. I am 17 and a senior in highschool and i am watching a 2 year old boy all those hours 5 days a week. and when shes not working she still goes out and sometimes doesnt get home till 4 am. While shes out the baby doesnt sleep and i have to stay up and take care of him. ITs exhausting and my grades have suffered, ive failed my pre cal class. I only have a few months left before collage but i dont even think i can last that long with her. She uses me for a babysitter constantly and my social life and boyfriend are suffering. I cant go out and my bf and i have no privrate time b.c im always watching the baby. When ever i confront her she says i have an attitude and that if i dont like it i can leave, and that she pays the bills. I had to quit my job to watch her son, she cant pay the bills unless i watch him and i of course cant leave. It hurts when she says this since i have been in foster care and have heard that for years over and over. I feel like i dont have a home and i feel used. I cant argue with her about her alcoholism b.c she KNOWS shes an alcoholic and just wont do anything about it. I need some serious help please, sorry its so long..
her boyfriend thats the babys father is in Boston, another state from us and the baby goes up there every few months fro a few weeks but she and him fight so they wont stay together for too long and she wont leave the baby up there b.c she doesnt want his father to have him. My sister wont hire a babysitter b.c shes too cheap and would rather have me do it b.c she doesnt “trust” anyone else. I cant hire one b.c i have no money

The father (a physician) has had recurrent bouts with severe alcoholism. He has several DUIs. Is on probation with his professional career. Disapears into his home for day and becomes so ill we wonder if he’ll survive. The son worries sick because he feels he is all his father has and he should be wih him taking care of him. The mother ( his ex-wife/my sister) found it impossible to handle and left but the son feels unconditionally bound to the problem. She feels powerless as to how to counsel her son. She does not want her son to put his life on hold and leave the job he just began as a teacher overseas. However, his father can’t seem to pull it together and is in the midst of another episode. The situation seems so grave and has ben a burden to my nephew for years!
Is it possible to make someone enter a facility against the persons will. I agree, the son would be so relieved to know his fathe rwas getting the treatment he needs. But, ho wcan he make his fatehr eneter a facility?

My brother is 25 years old and he drinks everyday beer, when he gets drunk he becomes verbally abusive, he has got into violent arguments with me, he also tells my little brothers bad things, he also plays his music very loud and smokes pot, my mom won’t kick him out of the house,me and my mom and my little brothers are scared of him, we cannot help him with his alcoholism only he can, I’m living at my mom and step dad’s house I’m a single mother of a 2 year old and pregnant, that is why I cannot get my own place, I won’t get hired nowhere at this period of time, how can we deal with this family member?

My biological father is an alcoholic way back before i was born. My mom couldn’t handle his abusive behavior that she left us when i was 6 & went to another country.My grandma took care of me while my grandfather supported us financially. My dad didn’t finish high school & was more interested in hanging out with his alcoholic friends.He has been jobless ever since & doesn’t care about working to earn a living since he was dependent on my grandfather. Since i was a child, i live in guilt, shame, anger & fear bec. everytime he comes home drunk, he is a loudmouth, angry & wouldn’t care less if the stereo’s speakers was blasting so loud late at night in our apartment that neighbors complain about how nuisance we are.I feel so much shame as i hid in my room crying with much hurt & pain waiting for the nightmare to end. I had low self-esteem.I get so angry at him that in my mind i wanted him to die or I would think of killing myselfThings became more difficult for me when my grandmother had a stroke & Alzheimer’s that I could no longer lean on her anymore for comfort.For years, the nightmare brought by my father continued & so is my darkest moments of despair as I try to focus on my studies while hiding in my room bearing the hurt & shame.Yes there are normal days when he is sober but when he is drunk & rowdy again, it seems that the bright & sunny world I once knew suddenly turn stormy as hell for me.I feel I wanna run away, scream, cry & shout but nobody listens & understands. By God’s grace I was able to finish Business Administration in College.I am 21 now but my dad still has his habit. He tends to quit for a few days or weeks but then he goes back to drinking again esp. when he gets to save money that my well-off aunt gives him allowance daily out of sympathy.My aunt takes care of the utilities since my grandmother, their mother, lives together with us in the apartment. I took the graveyard shift cashier job in an Internet café that my aunt owns as a way of escape & avoid experiencing the trauma to avoid my father’s drunkenness as much as possible. But fate seems to be playing at me bec. my dad sometimes is drunk early in the morning or in the afternoon & it leaves me so bitter & angry again towards him, others around me & myself. I get so angry again that I swear & cursed my own father. As a Christian, this really saddens me & is so hard for me to try to live a life without anger & hate when life itself forces me to do so. I feel so alone & dejected. I never have a boyfriend maybe bec. I don’t seem to trust men or have not found yet found someone who would be serious & accept my family’s situation. I still pray that one day my dad would finally finally quit drinking & be a real father to me. In our Asian country, I don’t know yet if we have support groups like Al-Anon. Right now, I am dying to settle a normal life for awhile but I am still anxious at the moment bec. I still can’t find a decent job once I quit the cashier job. And if I get a new daytime job, I dreaded the thought if I have to live again the nightmare when my dad gets hooked to drinking again in the evenings. I am so sick & tired of living this way.In our culture is really different bec. children are still responsible for their parents even when they are beyond 18 years of age. But now I plan to rent a place of my own so I could have a peaceful place to run to when I come home and find him drunk again. I think I couldn’t bear any longer like before. I had enough of the trauma since I was a kid. Am I being selfish if I will start to live on my own and try hard to escape from home when he gets drunk? But my grandmother is still living in our apartment and I don’t want to leave her when I know she has short time left with us. But I am really affected by my dad’s alcoholism. I tried to advise him but the advise just feel on deaf ears. I must admit we don’t talk so much at all and I am not open to him bec. it’s hard to establish a close relationship with him bec. he tends to easily misinterpret and get angry at things bec. a dominant person he is. I am anxious also since I will be the one to take care of my father’s allowance bec. my aunt made a deal that she will quit giving help to my dad if I quit working at the café.That would mean it will be hard to save or there won’t enough left for me to save and being financially stable on my own feels completely out of reach for me. Please I need some advise ,I am really confuse.

We found out we were losing our house a few months ago, and it’s torn my mom apart – stressed her to no end. She’s finally broken down and decided to leave my father, who’s a drunk alcoholic, drug addict, and pot head. She’s not taking us or my other sister (I have another, but she’s getting married, she’s going off with her man) with her. She doesn’t have the money. Why in HELL she thinks this life is better for us doesn’t get into my head. I’m sobbing, my dad is abusive, he steals the drugs I take for acute migraines I’ve gotten since a baby, he drinks every night with those meds and now he’s smoking pot on top of it all. And she’s LEAVING us with him. What do I do? I have no other family to turn to, none whatosoever. I’m 15 and still have a while to go until I’m legal and can live on my own. I’m scared, I can’t live with him alone. Help me.
I should’ve mentioned I’m homeschooled, it’s extremely hard for me to find adults to talk to about this stuff. My mother also currently has no job, it’s why she’s lived with my dad through-out these years, only for his finical support. She was planning to get one when/if we kept the house, so it’s no surprise she’s leaving and getting one on her own. Talking to a school counselor to find soical service is out of the question though

My biological father is an alcoholic way back before i was born. My mom couldn’t handle his abusive behavior that she left us when i was 6 & went to another country.My grandma took care of me while my grandfather supported us financially. My dad didn’t finish high school & was more interested in hanging out with his alcoholic friends.He has been jobless ever since & doesn’t care about working to earn a living since he was dependent on my grandfather. Since i was a child, i live in guilt, shame, anger & fear bec. everytime he comes home drunk, he is a loudmouth, angry & wouldn’t care less if the stereo’s speakers was blasting so loud late at night in our apartment that neighbors complain about how nuisance we are.I feel so much shame as i hid in my room crying with much hurt & pain waiting for the nightmare to end. I had low self-esteem.I get so angry at him that in my mind i wanted him to die or I would think of killing myselfThings became more difficult for me when my grandmother had a stroke & Alzheimer’s that I could no longer lean on her anymore for comfort.For years, the nightmare brought by my father continued & so is my darkest moments of despair as I try to focus on my studies while hiding in my room bearing the hurt & shame.Yes there are normal days when he is sober but when he is drunk & rowdy again, it seems that the bright & sunny world I once knew suddenly turn stormy as hell for me.I feel I wanna run away, scream, cry & shout but nobody listens & understands. By God’s grace I was able to finish Business Administration in College.I am 21 now but my dad still has his habit. He tends to quit for a few days or weeks but then he goes back to drinking again esp. when he gets to save money that my well-off aunt gives him allowance daily out of sympathy.My aunt takes care of the utilities since my grandmother, their mother, lives together with us in the apartment. I took the graveyard shift cashier job in an Internet café that my aunt owns as a way of escape & avoid experiencing the trauma to avoid my father’s drunkenness as much as possible. But fate seems to be playing at me bec. my dad sometimes is drunk early in the morning or in the afternoon & it leaves me so bitter & angry again towards him, others around me & myself. I get so angry again that I swear & cursed my own father. As a Christian, this really saddens me & is so hard for me to try to live a life without anger & hate when life itself forces me to do so. I feel so alone & dejected. I never have a boyfriend maybe bec. I don’t seem to trust men or have not found yet found someone who would be serious & accept my family’s situation. I still pray that one day my dad would finally finally quit drinking & be a real father to me. In our Asian country, I don’t know yet if we have support groups like Al-Anon. Right now, I am dying to settle a normal life for awhile but I am still anxious at the moment bec. I still can’t find a decent job once I quit the cashier job. And if I get a new daytime job, I dreaded the thought if I have to live again the nightmare when my dad gets hooked to drinking again in the evenings. I am so sick & tired of living this way.In our culture is really different bec. children are still responsible for their parents even when they are beyond 18 years of age. But now I plan to rent a place of my own so I could have a peaceful place to run to when I come home and find him drunk again. I think I couldn’t bear any longer like before. I had enough of the trauma since I was a kid. Am I being selfish if I will start to live on my own and try hard to escape from home when he gets drunk? But my grandmother is still living in our apartment and I don’t want to leave her when I know she has short time left with us. But I am really affected by my dad’s alcoholism. I tried to advise him but the advise just feel on deaf ears. I must admit we don’t talk so much at all and I am not open to him bec. it’s hard to establish a close relationship with him bec. he tends to easily misinterpret and get angry at things bec. a dominant person he is. I am anxious also since I will be the one to take care of my father’s allowance bec. my aunt made a deal that she will quit giving help to my dad if I quit working at the café.That would mean it will be hard to save or there won’t enough left for me to save and being financially stable on my own feels completely out of reach for me. Please I need some advise ,I am really confuse.

I had a serious conversation with my future mother-in-law today, I’m marrying her son in a month and a half. She was talking about how much there family has been surrounded by alcoholism. My fiance has always been a pretty big drinker ever since I met him, about 2 1/2 yrs ago. He used to go out 5 or 6 nights a week. Now he probably goes out 3 times a week not including the times he goes out for a beer or two after work. I’m not a nag and I don’t complain about it unless I found out that he decided to drive himself home after he’s been drinking.

But I would like to prevent his drinking from becoming a big problem in our future. I know you can’t just change or force someone to change so I won’t even try that route, but how can I start to deter him away from alcohol?

ok my sister (22) is my guardian and has been for about 11 months. She took me in when my past gaurdian my uncle james went back to his alcoholic addiction and started abusing me. My mother abandoned me at age 12 and i have no idea where she is. My sister is a CNA and works about 5 days a week. She goes out 6-7 days out of the week to the pub or club and has been non stop for 5 months. Her son (2) is with me for 12 hours a day. From the moment she leaves for work to the moment she comes back from the bar 230-3 am. I am 17 and a senior in highschool and i am watching a 2 year old boy all those hours 5 days a week. and when shes not working she still goes out and sometimes doesnt get home till 4 am. While shes out the baby doesnt sleep and i have to stay up and take care of him. ITs exhausting and my grades have suffered, ive failed my pre cal class. I only have a few months left before collage but i dont even think i can last that long with her. She uses me for a babysitter constantly and my social life and boyfriend are suffering. I cant go out and my bf and i have no privrate time b.c im always watching the baby. When ever i confront her she says i have an attitude and that if i dont like it i can leave, and that she pays the bills. I had to quit my job to watch her son, she cant pay the bills unless i watch him and i of course cant leave. It hurts when she says this since i have been in foster care and have heard that for years over and over. I feel like i dont have a home and i feel used. I cant argue with her about her alcoholism b.c she KNOWS shes an alcoholic and just wont do anything about it. I need some serious help please, sorry its so long..
im in CT im not in the city its more of a smaller town
Well ive chosen not to talk to the school couselors since im almost graduated and wanted to just wait it out but its getting too much for me to take. I could stay with my Bf or close friend but i dont want to put a financial and emotional strain on them and their families. Ive always been taught to stay with the family and help the family but my ENTIRE family has screwed me over. I have absolutly no family other than my sister to take care of me and my sisters son is so close to me i couldnt take someone taking him away.

My Dad is making me lose my mind.

I’m 19, go to a community college (am in my second semester), get mostly As and some Bs… my parents pay for my schooling. I appreciate it everyday!
I’m an aspiring audio engineer… i study every aspect of the profession on a daily basis. I have a 100 average in all my Music classes thus far and have been told by my engineering teachers that THIS IS the path for me.
-I work 25+ hours a week at a grocery store but am starting to actively look for internships.
-I’m in a jam band with 9 other friends (on drums). We chill nearly daily, play disc golf, motivate each other to achieve our dreams, and go out drinking and partying on weekends. None of us are reckless… none of us do “hard drugs”… Most of my friends smoke weed, but I haven’t in months because it makes me too lazy. I just stick to the weekend brews, by personal decision.
-I paid for my car with my own cash.

My Dad is the only gloom on these great college years. He drinks a 30 pack of Keystone every night and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day… You can see his lifestyle all over his face…
He has extremely high blood pressure and is very high strung in general. We can be having a conversation and all of a sudden he will start yelling.
He has OCD… which is frustrating for me because i’m incredibly chilled out. I’ve got long dreadlocks… (i’m a little part black so i can pull them off extremely well, but my dad HATES it)
he is constantly closing doors, yelling at me for leaving my bedroom light on for just 3 or 4 minutes while i am downstairs, and yelling at my mother for every ridiculous reason imaginable.

I believe it is a defense mechanism. He tries to nitpick every small fault of others around him to justify his alcoholism and life threatening ways.

Not only that, but he uses the fact that i live at home against me. I constantly hear “You live in this house! My rules!”, even telling them i’m going to sleep over at a friends house on a weekend night.

I feel like i can’t mature in this environment. I know this has turned into a ramble… but how do you young adults deal with an irresponsible parent that can’t help but treat you like a little boy?!
Thanks for the advice everybody. I really don’t fear for my own safety around my father… I just have trouble standing by when there is such a negative energy in the house. I care about my parents and have always respected their rules (never broke curfew in my life…).

Again, thanks for all your answers.
They are all taken to heart!

Ever since my father was 7 years old he has been drinking. His Grandfather started out giving him Southern Comfort everyday. My dad and mom divorced when I was little, my sister and I use to run and hide (he wasnt abusive though). We didn’t want anyone to see our tears. We were taught to be strong and independent. After the divorce was final, my mom gained custody. My dad would see us on the weekends and take us to his house occasionally to spend the night. Every time we did though, he was binge drinking. the years passed and my mother got sick. She got put on disability and lost her drivers lisense, because a drunk driver hit us. Eventually, we were living in my mothers car and she would drive without her lisense. We stayed at motels barely paying the money. And now we all live together. My mom and dad are friends and my dad pays the rent. But he drinks everynight and screams. I get all A’s in school and when i bring home a bad grade he calles me dumbass. Please help me.