We will help you get your mom off drugs!

OK, I’m going to try my hardest to sum up/shorten this story but PLEASE read it, I really need some help.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and until I was 13 years old they had split custody of me and my sister (one week with mom one week with dad). When I was 13, my mom began dating an inmate. She is a paralegal and at the time had taken up a job working for the state, helping inmates with their parole cases. She took us to visit him every other weekend so we could “develop a relationship with him” since he was going to move in with us when he was released. She told us not to tell our dad and we didn’t. The day the inmate was released, my dad found out and got temporary custody of us. He took my mom to court, filing for full custody. During the custody battle, my mom ran off and married the man and got pregnant. She then told us she couldn’t fight our dad anymore and that she had a baby on the way and was going to have a new family.

This was 7 years ago (I’m 21 now). She now has 3 children with him. During the past 7 years hes been in and out of rehab and prison again and put her through hell (you wouldn’t believe the stories… crack-cocaine is his drug of choice… makes people do horrible things). For the first 5 and half years, I continued to have a relationship with her. She relied on me to rescue her, loan her money, and do so much more. I got fed up when (after not hearing from her for over a month) she asked me to loan her money for the down payment on a new house, in a town two hours away. She was moving to the town where her husband was in rehab. I haven’t seen her since she moved in November 2008 and I stopped answering/returning her phone calls in February 2009. My sister still has a relationship with her and told me this – mom moved back in town last December, filed for divorce, and just found out last week her now ex-husband has bone cancer.

Its been so hard not having much parental guidance these past few years and not speaking with my mom for a year has really taken a toll on me. I need a mother or a father or some adult to care about me and support me and give me guidance especially being at such a crucial time in my life (I’m about to graduate from college). After my dad won the custody battle, he sent me to boarding school and kept my sister at home and in her same high school. Hes a whole other story, but in a nutshell I have no relationship with him either.

Should I forgive them? How do I forgive my mother? What do I do? Any input is appreciated, I’ve been in and out of counseling, therapy, etc. and it hasn’t helped so any words of wisdom will be helpful. Please help me :-/

Every day when I come home from school I tell myself “I’ll only have a small snack” because I’m not hungry, but just need some energy. Then, I have an apple or carrots, feel full, but still go grab the jumbo bag of chips and gorge until I feel sick! I don’t know why I do this and I don’t know how to stop. My mom now hides certain food from me (at my own request though), but that makes me want that food even more. And every time I’m upset about bingeing, my dad says “Good job sweetie!” (in a sincere way!), like he thinks congratulating me about overeating will give me a better attitude or something! It’s pretty much the same at school, I’ll eat my healthy lunch then go straight to the vending machines and gorge on everything! HELP ME STOP THIS TERRIBLE CYCLE OF OVER EATING THEN MISERY THEN MORE EATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry this is long but i desperately need help im 14
so my mother has bipolar disorder and has always hated her life and my dad left when i was a baby.my sister said my mom got pregnant with me when he wanted to leave so she wouldnt have to be alone and she became very attached to me when i was little(not anymore..)and caused me to be very attached to her too because she was the only one that loved me,my sister and brother hated me because i got so much attention from her at the time.and as shes gotten older shes been losing her mind more.my sister said she was really put together when my sister was growing up but shes been getting more and more neurotic..she gets completely drunk every single night and takes xanex? and ambien and shes also anorexic so she used to call my brother fat when he was actually skinny and that made him be hospitalized for anorexia and has made all of us blame ourselves for why she hated her life.i researched this..READ THIS PLZ>>
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism_in_family_systems#Correlates)
and i have all the symptoms under “correlates”

so now that im not a child anymore i obviously dont cry all the time like i used to and im not scared of school anymore but still how do i get rid of all these problems???

O.K I will try to keep this as short as possible but My mother has been a severe alcholic since I was a little girl. The worst thing of it all is that she would drink and drive (horrible right). After 4 DWIs and about 7 years in prison I finally have my mother. I have never really had a relationship with her because she was always drunk, and my father took custody of me and my brother. She has been out of prison for about a year now and she has been doing amazing, her husband, (my stepfather) stayed with her while she was in prison and they are back together again, she has a wonderful relationship with God, and I have never known this side of her in my whole life. I am now 23 and have a child of my own, I only drink on special occassions if that because I have heard that alcholism can be genetic?? Better safe than sorry (plus it does nothing for me except put me to sleep). I love my mother very much and I am glad to have her back in my life. ……….A week ago she found out that her husband has horrible cancer, and on top of that she is having problems with her job. She fell off the bandwagon and dissapeared this last weekend. Nobody knew where she was not even her husband. The next day I finally got ahold of her she had drank a whole bottle of whisky and then DROVE (grrrr) to a hotel and drank at the bar and stayed the night at the hotel. Help me understand why do alcoholics drink? Why and does this mean that she will drink all of the time again? she was sober for 8 years I dont understand…….I cant loose my mother again….I have plans for us. Its just kills me and I dont know what advice to give her. I know that medication is not the key while she is going through this really hard time with her husband but is there something healthy that could help calm her nerves? Sorry to go on and on but any advise would be great. Thanks.

I live in a peaceful cul-de-sac in Watertown, MA. Two weeks ago my father was hit by a drunk driver (foul mouthed, a drugs addict, probably black) on our driveway. This almost destroyed our happy suburban life. Because of this the right side of my father’s left foot is paralyzed for the rest of his life. My mother saw the disaster happen and since then, she can’t come out of the house any longer because she’s grown afraid of cars. Now I have to do all the grocery shopping. I wrote a letter to the city council, asking if they could forbid cars for two weeks in the streets surrounding our cul-de-sac. This would help her get used to the idea of leaving the house again. Would you believe the city refused to even consider it? Frankly I’m offended as a tax payer that practical considerations are superior to the delicate feelings of the citizen.

she also has cirosis of the liver, diabetis, CHF, hep c, and is still fighting. how long do you think it will take for rehab to get her to walk again. Right at xmas time. she has dinner plate size bruises on her. Im worried she might not be able to get better. Has anyone had parents that this has happend to? thankyou in advance

Long story short… I dated a guy for about a year. Money got tight and we decided to move in with my dad to save some money. My dad lives 800 miles away in my home state. We move in. Couple months go by and me and my boyfriend split up. We split up because when he applied for jobs in our new town he got letters in the mail stating that he was turned down because he had a few warrants for his arrest back in his home town. He was sooo mad that I knew (even though I didnt say a word about it!) and he started treating me awful. Our relationship was never that good… hes a recovering alcoholic and drug user, and he was just a lot of trouble with a bunch of problems. So anyways… what happened was we got into a fight late one night, and he started yelling at me to get out (dont forget this is MY dads house).. so I said fine, ill leave… well my dad stopped me and said I wasnt going anywhere… so my boyfriend was like, fine F U ill leave! And he grabbed some clothes and ran outta the house. It was about midnight and it was pouring rain outside. It hurt, but I was glad to be rid of him and his abuse. He had.. no car, no money, no phone, nothing. Not my problem because I bought him a cell phone (he didnt take it with him), and drove him everywhere. Well let me get to my question. Back tracking a bit. His father passed away when my boyfriend was only 18 (from alcoholism). His mother and her boyfriend are huge drunks. My boyfriend doesnt really like his mom, and the whole year and a half that we lived 2 minutes down the road from his mom, we saw her like 3 times. She caused so much problems. Would call us when she was drunk and start crying and yelling… for no reason and about nothing. When we moved back to my home state, by boyfriend said he was so glad to be away from her and didnt want to talk to her at all. Now, that was HIS choice. I personally didnt care either way. Well…. me and my boyfriend have been broken up for about 4 months now, and I have not heard from him or seen him since that night. I know he is okay because I heard he found a job at a fast food joint, and hes crashing on a co-workers couch or something,. I dont know and I dont care.. hes not my responsibility. Here we go… the past 2 months, his mom has been calling my cell phone and leaving messages asking for her son to call her. They went a good… 6 months without a word, now shes calling every week. Well one day, I picked up and told her she had the wrong number and to please stop calling.. It stopped for about a week. Well I just got a voice mail from her and she said if she doesnt hear from her son in a couple days, she is calling the police. Now… is this something I need to worry about? Heres a few more things… first off, she doesnt know where we had moved to, just the state. He never told her the address cause he didnt want her sending him stuff or trying to ever visit (ALL his choice). Secondly, I recently moved out of state to a whole new state with a good friend of mine.. so.. I no longer live there. So… should I disregard this? I would honestly prefer to.. because he is out of my life, and its not my responsibility to call his mother or anything like that. He has a job, and a place to live… he has access to a phone and the internet, he knows his families phone numbers… if he wanted to call, he would! I really dont feel like dealing with this.. I am trying to move on with my life and live my life without the drama or the abuse. So… can I just ignore this? What are your opinions?

I’ve been living with this for as long as I can remember. I’m fifteen so there isn’t really much I can do, so what I need to know is who can I confide in to help me? She’s been in and out of Jail but has never been to rehab. We honestly can’t afford it. She just got out of jail in June. She had a six month sentence, and today was when she started using again. I’m not ready to go through this emotional unbalance again, so I need her to get help. I don’t want this to increse. My father died a few months ago from kidney failure and I am an only child so I can’t really lean on anyone else. Thanks if you guys can help!

I want to go out with my friends tonight and drink a little but my mom just told me I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. I know it takes awhile for alcohol to get out of your system, do you think the dentist will be able to smell it on my breath? If so, what can I do -mouthwash?

I have been caring for my now 1 year old grandson since he was 1 week old. Dad in federal prison, Mom in county jail waiting for sentencing. She got sentenced today. 6 months with time served. That would have her released by Oct 1..with time served. Drugs were a problem for both of them. Father agrees the best place for the child is with me. Father gave consent for custody. Mom said she would , But changed her mind while in jail..Says the guardienship paper was fine while she was gone and now she wants to come back to my house to live and have her son back. I have supported her when she was in and out of rehab and have always been on good terms.But not so good after a month long drug binge when she ran from a warrant. she did turned herself in on VOP in June, She refused visitation for me and her son. Would not call. Also wanted to know why I needed temporary custody. What were my intentions. I just want what is best for the child. I am not rich but do work.I was advised by an attorney to serve her papers and file for custody before she is released. . Also I filed fwith DCF for assistance for the baby. My concern is that if I do , it will cause a problem and I may end up never seeing this child again. We live in Florida.I own a home am 48 years old.
Mother is 19 and has never had a job or her own place to live has stayed with me for the past year off and on. No parenting skills. Hangs out with unsavory people. Drug dealers , drug users ect. I will not allow this in my home and she knows it. That is wy she was in and out of my house. She can’t stay clean.
I would like to help but she doesn’t listen.
So Should I let her come and live with us again, Or fight to keep her away? The girl even got the felony witheld. Just lost her Drivers License for 2 years. She was arrested for possison of oxycotin and pot.
Then 3 VOP.

Please read the part about where she will be out very soon.Court cases take at least 60 days.to begin. If I refuse her living hear she will come and take the child. She did this one time before. but came back in a month. when the money ran out where she was at. I worried the whole time the baby was not getting the care he deserves. In fact I knew he was ignored . She was tooo busy partying. My thought is at least I could still be there for the baby to make sure he was Ok.
His picture is my Icon

My mom drinks about a pint of Royal Canadian whiskey everyday. She’s had gastric bypass surgery so this amount effects her a lot more then it would the normal person. She falls all over the place and gets into fights with everyone when we try to take the bottle from her she’ll bite us or kick us she’ll do anything she can to keep her bottle. She’s even stolen the keys to my brother truck and drove to get more. It’s a tough situation because we love her and don’t want to call the police on her, but she just won’t listen. We’ve tried taking to a treatment center and they wouldn’t take her because she was intoxicated at the time. They told us to take her to the hospital for detox. We did, but the hospital sent us home saying she could sober up at home and it wasn’t an emergency. When she drinks her my father get into psychical fights and me and my fiancee’ are always breaking them up. I had gastric bypass surgery and while trying to take her bank card away her so she couldn’t buy more she kicked me in the stomach, now I might have something terribly wrong. I know it’s a “disease” but sometimes I find that hard to believe. She’ll go a day without drinking and then say she’s shaky and her stomach hurts (with drawl she claims) and she’ll go buy a bottle. We have to hide all our money and keys, but she just walks. One time she rode a bike and fell and hit her head in the middle of a busy street. Someone saw her and woke her up and took her home. She was bleeding from the head pretty bad, luckily she was okay. I’ve heard since I’m her daughter and 21 years old I can go to the court and petition the court to have her sent to an inpatient treatment facility, is this true? I don’t have any money because I live off social security. She only had Medicare insurance and we live in Michigan. Any help would be appreciated even if you can’t help I could always just use a friend to talk to.

*Melissa*
morbidangel1413@yahoo.com
I’m on social security because I’m disabled…Hale, that was a very rude thing to say.

She has been drinking for 20 years, she turns into another person when drunk. She drinks straight up, and she talks to herself and goes crazy kicking people out of the house. I try to listen to her and her problems thinking maybe since I’ve come into her life by living with her, she now has someone to listen to her and might make her stop. I even tell her “You need to stop drinking” and she says “Yes, I have a problem and I need to do something with my life” but then that same night she drinks like crazy.

Im not sure how else to help her to stop, since it is really destroying us (those that live with her) and I’m getting to the point where I can’t stand her because of that. I just feel like leaving her alone and let her drink her life away, but I know she needs serious help.

I had cereal at about 12:30–my first meal of the day.

About 2 hours later I had 1 slice of bread with 1 slice of cheese…but there was a pizza in my kitchen right in front of my eyes. I never really eat pizza b/c I think it is unhealthy..but b/c there was absolutely nothing else to eat in my kitchen..I ate only the crusts of 2 pizza slices and avoided the rest of it(the fatty cheese and stuff). I am still hungry and I kind of want more pizza…but I am holding out until my mom comes home with the groceries from her food shopping trip.
FYI….

….I never said the crust wasn’t fattening…

I live in a peaceful cul-de-sac in Watertown, MA. Two weeks ago my father was hit by a drunk driver (foul mouthed, a drugs addict, probably black) on our driveway. This almost destroyed our happy suburban life. Because of this the right side of my father’s left foot is paralyzed for the rest of his life. My mother saw the disaster happen and since then, she can’t come out of the house any longer because she’s grown afraid of cars. Now I have to do all the grocery shopping. I wrote a letter to the city council, asking if they could forbid cars for two weeks in the streets surrounding our cul-de-sac. This would help her get used to the idea of leaving the house again. Would you believe the city refused to even consider it? Frankly I’m offended as a tax payer that practical considerations are superior to the delicate feelings of the citizen.

I have been caring for my now 1 year old grandson since he was 1 week old. Dad in federal prison, Mom in county jail waiting for sentencing. She got sentenced today. 6 months with time served. That would have her released by Oct 1..with time served. Drugs were a problem for both of them. Father agrees the best place for the child is with me. Father gave consent for custody. Mom said she would , But changed her mind while in jail..Says the guardienship paper was fine while she was gone and now she wants to come back to my house to live and have her son back. I have supported her when she was in and out of rehab and have always been on good terms.But not so good after a month long drug binge when she ran from a warrant. she did turned herself in on VOP in June, She refused visitation for me and her son. Would not call. Also wanted to know why I needed temporary custody. What were my intentions. I just want what is best for the child. I am not rich but do work.I was advised by an attorney to serve her papers and file for custody before she is released. . Also I filed fwith DCF for assistance for the baby. My concern is that if I do , it will cause a problem and I may end up never seeing this child again. We live in Florida.I own a home am 48 years old.
Mother is 19 and has never had a job or her own place to live has stayed with me for the past year off and on. No parenting skills. Hangs out with unsavory people. Drug dealers , drug users ect. I will not allow this in my home and she knows it. That is wy she was in and out of my house. She can’t stay clean.
I would like to help but she doesn’t listen.
So Should I let her come and live with us again, Or fight to keep her away? The girl even got the felony witheld. Just lost her Drivers License for 2 years. She was arrested for possison of oxycotin and pot.
Then 3 VOP.

Please read the part about where she will be out very soon.Court cases take at least 60 days.to begin. If I refuse her living hear she will come and take the child. She did this one time before. but came back in a month. when the money ran out where she was at. I worried the whole time the baby was not getting the care he deserves. In fact I knew he was ignored . She was tooo busy partying. My thought is at least I could still be there for the baby to make sure he was Ok.
His picture is my Icon

Okay my parents are divorced
my dad lives in Houston and i stay with my mom

She lost her job and is now a drinker.
i hate talking,looking,and doing anything for her.
i honestly believe she is a sorry excuse for a human being.
she wont try to get a job and im so sick of everything.
The only reason i stay is because i LOVE where i live and all the people here.
i also have 2 little brothers who love her dearly and i cant just leave them.
Im only 15 idk what to do at all
I hate my dad also.
im screwed till im 18 and in college basically.

Oh i forgot to mention my grandparents also stay with us and my grandma is my basic mother figure. She is the only thing keeping me sane- Her and my religion. If that. :/

My mother died of alcoholism and she lies in an unmarked grave. He appears never to have married. I was 4 when he was born and given for adoption up 3 months later. Didn’t find my mother till after she died. I don’t know if he might know about me but I do know she didn’t want to give me up but pretty much had to. I’m afraid she might have turned to alcohol over me and maybe he hates me to start with because of it. I want to know what he (and she) looks like but haven’t a clue what to say…any ideas?

recital and she says “My Heart is Full” , (or something like that). Help !