How is your relationship with your mom?
September 9th, 2010
Do you still talk to your mother? If not, why? My mom and I have not talked in ages. She was a drug addict and was in and out of rehab every 2 months and I never had a great relationship with her. I feel really guilty for not caring about her or talking to her. I want to communicate with her again, but I still have not forgiven her for everything she did through out my life. Thanks!
And the first 2 questions were questions I want you to answer.
-Riley O.
I feel sorry for you, having a mom like that.
I am pretty close with my mom, I guess.
I feel that she is closer to my sister though, they are always having fun and talking :( sometimes I feel really left out.
But at times when I need her she is always there.
Maybe it is just because I am older and we are kind of drifting apart.
Yes I talk to my mom. She was given one year to live 16 years ago so I value the time she has left. She has supported me through all of my marriages even the one where I was mentally abused. I am glad to help her all I can with her medical needs.
no i hardly talk to my mum. she isn’t a druggie- just a money hungry, manipulitive bitch who doesn’t care about anyone but herself or her “image”. why should we feel guilty? we didn’t ask to be born! mothers have a responsibility to their kids
my mom and i have a good relationship. most of the time., now my 33 year old daughter and i have not spoken in over a year. that means i have not even been able to talk to my 2 grandkids. it all is very hard. maybe you could try talking up front wih your mom. good luck
My mother and I never always saw eye-to-eye but our relationship is still good.
I’m sorry to hear yours hasn’t been that well. A close friend of mine recently lost her mother which made me do a lot of thinking. No matter how good or bad our parents are, they aren’t going to be around forever. Knowing that you want to communicate with your mother again despite your past with her is commendable. Regardless of whether or not she is completely rehabilitated, you should reach out to her and just tell her that you’re there for her. Even if she wasn’t the best mother in the world, it seems she did an okay job raising you. If she doesn’t respond positively, don’t feel guilty about anything. You tried your best.
I love my mother cuz she understands me and loves me dearly…We could talk about everything…..
You need to try and forgive cuz if she is trying to straighten out her life then she will need your love and support…GOOD LUCk
well me and my mom ( I’m in middle school) talk on the phone sometimes. my parents got a divorce and I’m living with my dad. Don’t feel guilty my mo is an alcoholic and we don’t talk often and she barely ever says she’s sorry and when she does she does she makes excuse and blames someone else to or she’s drunk so it doesn’t matter .
so talk to her about everything if she’s done with the drugs and tell her how it hurt you and then try to forgive and forget
I’m planning on doing that once ( and if) my mom quits
My mother died 45 yrs ago. But I did not talk to her much back then. My mother beat the living crap out of me on a regular basis when I was growing up. I left home when I was 16. I had a job, rented a room from a lady in our church. I finished high school and worked my way through college and grad school.
mom and I have a great relationship, spending time together..we don’t always agree with each other..but we work together for the most part
I understand how you feel. My mom really never wanted to be a mom and all the awful choices that she made in her life regarding me backed that up. I was fortunate to have been blessed with a wonderful step mom that took over her job and has been a mom to me for thirty years. I didn’t reject my biological mom she rejected me many years ago and still does to this day.
I would encourage you to let go of bitterness and anger. It won’t do you any good. Forgive her and pray for her happiness and peace. Your mom probably had some issues of her own which let her down that drug path.
I don’t feel guilt only sad that I never had a normal mother/child relationship. However, I was able to be the mother to my children that my mom wasn’t to me.
no i don’t
she’s dead
I deal with what your going through now. I am positive my mom still does some form of drugs do to her “good” days and “bad” days. It wasn’t until very recently though that I cut off all contact with her b/c she said some really wierd, uncomfortable things to me.
My mom was very selfish and didn’t raise me. She was too busy running away when I was 2 y/o. I tried very hard to establish a solid relationship when I was about 19 y/o but it has, and probably always will be an uphill battle. I constantly stuggle with forgiveness towards her.
In my honest opinion when a parent destroys trust for a great length of time it is almost impossible to re gain it back. And I can personally tell you that when she does have her “good” days and wants to be a “mom” the best she knows how, I still won’t ever trust her 100% because of her abandoning me when I was a baby, and never coming back. I will always have that wall.
You honestly will need to take the time to reflect and ask yourself how you can move forward in a healthy positive manner, that can be the best for both of you. FIRST you need to heal yourself, and it’s not easy. There are several steps involved. You can have a relationship with her, but it may be very limited.
Best of luck to you. If you ever want to chat please feel free to email me and I will do my very best to help you as unbiasedly as I possibly can
PS
I agree with Snappy. I too have a lil one (4 y/o) and b/c my mom was so crappy, I refuse to be anything like her, and I would NEVER abandon my child or put him in harms way. I couldnt even imagine my life without him. CHILDREN ARE A GIFT! Cherish them!!