How do you deal with alcoholism affecting a family member?
September 8th, 2010
My mother is an alcoholic. She just spent 8 days in a detox/behavioral health facility, lost her job and is already drinking again…she’s been out 1 week and has gotten drunk twice since.
I get so frustrated with her- I am seriously about to lay it all on the table. I can no longer put my own family through the drama that she causes. I have a husband, kids (7, 5 & 8 months), I work full time and am a full time student. Here alcoholism is effecting every aspect of my life. I am about to cut her out of it, I have tried and tried to help her, but there comes a time when you can only help someone so much before they are willing to help themselves…
Maybe she should try an AA meeting. Only an alcoholic understands another alcoholic. When you get the opportunity approach her and be honest with her. Make sure she is sober. It is not until an alcoholic hits rock bottom when it finally dawns on them what it has done to their lives and loved ones. I can relate to this, I am a recovering alcoholic. Whatever you do, you should not give up on her. If you do, then it sends a message to her that no one cares for her. You do not want on your conscience what will happen after that. There are also Al-Anon meetings, to help you understand more about alcoholism. It will give you some insight as to why alcoholics behave the way they do. Remember, you are not alone.You will meet people like yourself at these meetings. Alcoholics in general have a very difficult time dealing with what Life has to throw at them and to escape the emotions, they turn to alcohol. Hang in there! Your mom is worth it and so are you.
Hi, I’m an alcoholic and i quit drinking after 30 years of alcoholism. For me I had to be ready to quit, I was sick of all the chaos alcohol was causing in my life and I finally stopped after an unsuccessful suicide attempt.
The problem is your mother isn’t ready to stop, maybe there is something in the “tough love” angle. Maybe you should tell her that enough is enough and if she wants to kill herself then carry on, but you no longer want to put up with her alcoholism. Try pointing out all of the negative consequences of her addiction and ask her if she really wants to continue drinking.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has proven to be a successful method of overcoming alcoholism, maybe she might consider that.
But once again it all depends upon whether she can accept that she has a problem and ultimately wants to do something about it.
I was surpised how easy it was to quit when I eventually decided to, admitedly I’m still a little messed up (I quit in 2006) but I’m so pleased that I stopped, I’ve never had a relapse, I quit on my own and I can confidently say that I will never drink again.
For some help and advice based upon my experiences, please visit the site below you will find some practical advice not only for your mother but yourself as well. There’s also a support forum too, should your mother want to sign up.
I wish you all the best, I know what a horrid affilction alcoholism is and the impact it has on the lives of everyone close to the alcoholic.
Take care :)