Why is my mom such an alcoholic?
September 7th, 2010
It’s so bad that she asked to watch my husband and mine’s 4 WEEK old daughter and I told her we’re not comfortable with her drinking beer and watching our daughter and she got offended. Wow. She turned it around on us, badmouthing us and saying stuff that she thinks we do is wrong. My husband works 2 jobs and I am a stay at home mom. We never drink at home and are great parents. She has nothing on us to say anything, all it is is that she is such an alcoholic that she has to defend her drinking. Can you beleive that my mom would get offended when I tell her we don’t want her to drink if she watches our daughter? Wow..I’m in shock! Who in their right mind would condone that? Is she that bad of an alcoholic? I never asked her to watch my 4 week old because I know she drinks..she asks to watch her and that’s the answer I get. I expect her to say “No problem, I won’t drink.” But instead I get guilt tripped and insulted. Anyone else understand this?
I understand. People with those types of problems just don’t have the conscience of mind to consider things the right way. She’s just so attacked by the alcohol she doesn’t know what’s going on; if you get what I mean.
yes! I absolutely understand that and I would have done the same. That was soo wrong of your mom to, basically, be so selfish as to act that way about you wanting her not to drink around your child. I am glad my mom doesn’t drink b/c she is all i have to babysit besides one other person.
You can do it yourself! All you need to do is delete system32 and this is an inhibitor which stops you from making drastic changes to your mom.
:(
You sound like a wonderful Mother, and I say that with all sincerity. Next I want to tell you I am a recovering Alcoholic, and I have been sober 9 years. I know I had to make some hard choices if I was to be a good Father to my kids and be a decent provider for them as well. I first had to learn how to be giving without reservation, and stop being selfish ass. My EX-Wife had to issue a Court order for me to stop drinking or I could not see my kids until I did. I was hurting so badly from the Divorce and the thought of losing my kids my was devastating, I had to do the right thing. After all my kids are my whole world and I would be lost without them. My former Wife of 13 years actually saved my life,LITERALLY. My ex-Wife her name is Lynn, still hates me even though I haven’t missed a Child support payment and help my Son with his College tuition. I made my own bed which I now must lye in.
Your Parental instincts are right on, and you do have the right to make sure your kids are safe. We Alcoholics Play the “The best defense is a good offense” game, and we try to get everyone around us to be uneasy, so we can control them and our surroundings. By doing this all we end up accomplishing is; resentment, fear, anger, and abandonment. We take Prisoners never guests! I know the people around me felt insane at times because I would try and convince them of this because it was how I tried to control and manipulate them.
It sounds like your Mom is what we call “The Alcoholic of our type” because she sounds as if she has displayed some of the characteristics we all share. I can not tell someone who may drink too much they are Alcoholic, I can only suggest that if they are having trouble living life the way they are, maybe a change could be what they need the most. Then it is for them to decide if they are Alcoholic and need help.
Our 1st Step in A.A. states this: We are powerless over Alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. This simply states that we cannot consume Alcohol in any state at all. It also states we have lost the ability to make the choice of what we do with our lives; be it choosing to drink, or just living life on life’s terms. I am what they call a”functioning Alcoholic”. I go to work try to pay my bills and be a productive member of society.
I would also strongly encourage you not to drink, because you have the family blood or Genes that make becoming an Alcoholic a strng possibility. I would also encourage you to attend Alalnon meetings to get some support that you obviously need right now. I have encouraged my current Wife to do it, so she won’t allow me to get away with any “crap” in her presence and so she will stay healthy. We attend many AA and Alanon functions together, and it is a beautiful life.
You can be someone else’s strength someday, if you happen to find yourself reading one of these in your leisure time…………Peace!
Onegrtchf is 100% correct and I should follow his advice if I were you, I’m also a recovering alcoholic in my fourth year of recovery thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous.
My son told me off many years ago for taking his baby son with me to pubs that had a play area so I could have a couple of drinks, I thought at the time I was quite safe but I would probably have been over the limit had I been stopped, I was most offended when he told me this, it’s a common trait with alcoholics that they think they are in perfect control, so you should try not to get angry with your mother, she has the disease of alcoholism and has little control of her denial.
My present wife is also a recovering alcoholic, in fact we met at an AA meeting three years ago, she had a relapse last year when her own mother passed away, I found Al Anon great support, she is now back with AA so she’s fine again, Al anon is a sister to AA and was specifically formed to help the families of the alcoholic,not only will they support you but also make you understand your mother’s problem better, you never know, you might get her into AA herself, my last wife passed away from alcohol induced liver failure 6 years ago at the age of 50, I was 64 coming into AA and we had a new member join our group last month at the age of 78, so it’s never too late.
This link will give you details of where there’s a meeting place near to where you live, you will find many people there just like yourself, they will be very welcoming.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html