How would you feel if you told your mom, “If you love me, you’ll stop drinking,” or “it’s me or the alcohol
August 28th, 2010
Even if they’re not abusive. They are drunk sometimes and ruining their health. And drinking makes them moody or sleepy and not make any sense.
And you feel bad and don’t talk about your mom’s prob, b/c that’s like betraying her and she loves you.
It’s after the fact, and they’re still drinking.
The first one won’t work. The second one will if you are serious about it.
That would be the equivalent of telling a person with Cancer, “If you love me you’ll not have Cancer!” She’s ill. It’s nothing to do with her love for you. If she had a cold would you say she didn’t love you? Or the flu? Or diabetes? She knows better than you what it’s caused her health-wise, she lives in that body every day. When she’s sober, spend time with her and not the nagging kind. That doesn’t work! It has the opposite effect. You don’t have to go overboard trying to come up with things to do, but be with her and for her. Who knows, maybe even the contrast between being drunk and the wonderful moments spent with you while sober will spur her to get medical help! Even if your mother is never able to fully recover, a son’s or daughter’s love shouldn’t come with clauses.
first of all this is not going to work, no matter how much they really love you. they are going to be on the defensive, they are the parent not you. its hard for them, remember alcholisim is a disease. they dont have the will power or control, but if you give them an ultimatum you’ll end up feeling like they dont love you b/c they havent quit. they need to go to aa classes, look for them in the yellow pgs, or talk to a aunt or uncle u trust, dont tell just any family member. you need someone that u can trust will help instead of spreading rumors to the rest of the fam. good luck.
It’s better to say something, than nothing.
At the same time, I’m sorry to tell you this, but alcohol is hard to quit. Your mom isn’t doing it because she has lost love for you. She’s drinking, because it’s a bad mistake that she made, and sadly … I know it bothers you.
My dad was a crack addict & alcoholic when I was a child.
He quit in my teenage years, but he was still a very moody person. Now that i’m older, for some reason after 8 years clean. He’s back to crack, alcohol, and all that trash.
When I started to see that I am my own person, and my dad is his own person.
I let go of the hope for that father, and son television relationship.
I know that you will always love your mom, but telling her how you feel will bring more stress to you, because you’ll feel like she’s not hearing you.
( when you have to tell someone ” it’s me or the alcohol ” – that really hurts no matter how you say it )
Keep hope, and faith inside your heart … and at the same time, try to just let go. She has to deal with it, on her own.
It’s not true that if she loves you she’d stop drinking. Clearly, you don’t understand what addiction is.
Get in touch with Al-Anon, which is for relatives of alchoholics. They can help you cope and do what you can to get help for her.
Her drinking is an addiction and like any bad addictions can be corrected if you take the time and effort to do it. The second line would be fine. Does she really need the alcohol or you? she should know it’s you.
People can help their addictions….. not having a life-threatening illness.
the latter. tell them you won’t see them if they’re drinking.be firm.It’s your life, you’re not an alcoholic and it’s not fair you have to deal with them and have them creating problems for you.Sometimes that’s the most loving thing a person can do.