Gambeling mother & Drunk father how to help thm??
August 22nd, 2010
To start off I’m 14 years old, I moved to the state of Oregon about four years back from Hawaii. Well, my mom claims we moved here for a better life for my father who is a alcoholic. When we lived in Hawaii my dad actually had a job, now that we moved here, all he does is sit on his *** all day and do nothing! My mom however, has become obsessed with the lottery and does Powerball & Megabucks about everyday, she has this retarded idea that theres a pattern in the numbers, She spends most her days at work or at the casino. My father now has started getting more verbally abusive to my mother and I, I’m half japanese and these words really hurt me, I cant turn to my mother for help, she just runs away from her problems, I’ve comfronted my mom about this habit of hers, she just shrugs it off, my dad doesn’t really care, he doesn’t have a job. I’m worried about not having any food, and clothes, or anything like that, Anyone have any sugestions? Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thanks.
CONVINCE THEM TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!
Ask them each to please stop the self destructive behavior. Ask them to try getting help. Get the phone numbers for your local area Alcoholics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous and give it to them.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_find_meeting.cfm?
PageID=29
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
The sad truth is you can not make other people do what is right. Sometimes people will let you down. If they won’t take responsibility for their problems, you can keep asking them, but you have to do what is best for yourself. Find help for yourself. Maybe you will be helped by talking to people about the difficulty you are having with your parents and talking to others with similar situations.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
good luck
You sound like your in a lot of pain, and all i can say is that I’m very sorry for you. I came from a broken home where my mom drank a lot and was very unstable for years, i just did my best to get through it and now my life has come around and my mom is well on her way to being sober. I don’t think that there is anything that you can do as far as changing them, so hold on tight. Have you asked anyone else in your family for help? If they could take you, would you go? These maybe some options to think of, also calling the child protective services is another option to look at as well.
Sorry to hear about your unfortunate predicament. It sucks when you have this kind of family.
Unfortunately there is very little you can do at your age. In America you have almost no rights until you are 18, and even then are still quite restricted until you are 21.
I’d forget GA or AA. Quite honestly, people don’t get help because someone tells them to. Even when they see their own daughter upset, it’s not going to fix the problem. They have to accept the problem for themselves and ultimately decide to make a change. Even then the success rate of GA or AA is pretty low, since it is really just a front for religion and members are basically told to put their lives in the hands of God, which is hardly useful personal responsibility.
Your alcoholic father is probably going to continue down his current path. If you see any sign of violence, you may have to call child services, which could result in you being removed from your current home and put in foster care. This may or may not be much better than your current situation.
Your mother is dealing with this situation by gambling. Gambling offers an escape, coupled with the fantasy of getting rich. Many people have this believe that money will magically transform their lives. It usually doesn’t, especially if the person involved is ill-equipped to handle it properly. But worse, most people just lose what little money they do have, which makes things deteriorate.
The best advice I can give is to try as hard as you can to get good grades. You are clearly a very intelligent person, so you just need to apply that to academic success. If you work hard, and research college you should be able to get the heck out of this situation well inside of four years. It may sound like a long time, but it isn’t as long as you think. The sooner you can get out of this situation and into something positive the better.
Research how student loans and grants work. Become an expert at how to get into college. Even with no support from your parents it is definitely possible to get into college. But it takes careful planning and effort to do.
Although your parents are clearly bad role models at this time, they are at least a reminder to you of how not to be. But with hard work and determination you can be the opposite of them. Perhaps in time they will seek help, and maybe eventually move forward. But you really have to concentrate on you for now, start planning your escape and future success.
Good luck.
the above poster is absolutely right… keeps your grades high… also might be wise to start stowing away some money, either babysitting, or getting a part time weekend job… it will do a number of things..
make sure you have money for food and clothes, help you escape your home for a while, be productive, provide the stabilty you seek. GL… and keep your chin up, and above all else, even if you have to force it… smile.
I am in total disagreement about AA and GA not working… they give people a place to discuss their problem… they have one for young people too.. don’t know it off the top, but it is on their website… you can find other kids dealing with the same problems