how did i go from being anorexic to binge eating with some bulimia?
August 19th, 2010
how did i go from being anorexic to becoming a massive binge eater and a little bulimic? i was anorexic for 6 months and now im recovered… ive recently started to binge eat like CRAZY. i seriously take in about 5000 calories a day on all junk food. and after i eat it ill feel fat and guilty and ill try to purge it. sometimes i dont get anything out… but when i do it isn’t much, only a squirt with some blood. how did i go from being so strict with calories to having NO WILL POWER what so ever? i cant control myself AT ALL. when i was anorexic i had amazing self control… how did it go away? and how do i control my binge eating?
BTW, im a 12 year old girl, 5’2 and 90 lbs.
and my mom never new about my anorexia or my binge eating and purging.
i do not plan on telling her, or going to a doctor… so please do not offer that.
You have IPD
Your body is over-compensating for the severe calorie restriction. Sooner or later, if you are in an environment where food is available and you are purposely starving yourself, you will cave in, and you will binge. Your survival instinct is much stronger than your fear of food.
The purging part of your behaviour is evidence that the anorexic in you is still there.
Hi Brandy,
People do change and move between different eating disorders. You say you have recovered from Anorexia, but clearly there are underlying issues that have not been resolved. It really isn’t a simple matter of willpower. Eating disorders are often our way of coping with emotional issues, or our way of trying to gain some control of our lives through our bodies and the way that we eat.
(I know you don’t want to, but I do hope you can find your way to discussing this with a doctor some time.)
Anyway, regarding the purging – it is already making you bleed, so I really hope you stop trying. It’s a very inefficient way of controlling calories anyway, because even if we purge a lot, our body has still absorbed around 50% of what we’ve taken in by that time. See: http://www.coping-with-binge-eating.com/bulemia.html. It really isn’t the answer.
You need to get back to a stable eating pattern, to a more normal way of eating, to break the binge-restrict-binge cycle. So when you have had a binge, don’t be tempted to restrict the next day…otherwise the cycle just continues. And talking to someone you can trust, like a school counsellor maybe, can help address other problems that you may be using your relationship with food to deal with?
Take a look at http://www.coping-with-binge-eating.com/ to find out more
I really wish you luck with,
Tracy T