Can my alcoholic mom be forced to get a power of attorney She works but won’t pay her bills Her health is poor
July 29th, 2010
My mom works to support her alcoholic habit. She will not pay utilities or rent. She never stayes in a house more than 5 months because she almost immediately stops paying the rent. She lives with people in the neighborhood often until she is made to leave. Her health is poor. She often makes up stories in order to get the attention. She is currently living in a rooming house. Her grands love to see her but I can’t have my children in that type of environment. I have 4 siblings who don’t seem to care. I just want my mom to have a clean apartment and food to eat with all of her utilities on. With her last apartment her boss was paying her rent and giving her the difference out of her check, but I don’t know what happened. I can’t afford to take care of her but with her working she can afford a one bedroom apt. on her own.
My mom was a druggie and we went through this for 5 years. You can take her to court and have her declared incompetent. It is going to be the best thing for all of you. They will order her to rehab and hopefully get her clean. If you don’t want her in rehab, then sue for a power of attorney and you should get one. I was granted a temporary one because my dad would keep giving my mom all of his money and I was trying to support him, my baby sister, and baby brother, plus my own two kids, my hubby, and myself.
They gave me one for 6 months, which was enough to get his finances in order, get him to a counselor, and make everyone’s life easier.
She needs help and she is definitely not going to do it by herself.
I TOTALLY agree with the person’s answer above – she NEEDS to get clean and STAY clean – this is taking a huge toll on everyone involved with her and it does NOT need to stay like this.
She needs to go to a rehab to get sober. This could be court ordered because she doesn’t have the mental capacity to take care of herself. Take it to family court. She w/be put in a state facility until she is sober. She should at least be there for 30 days. She’s to the point where she doesn’t even have the money to take care of herself & you should NOT be put in the position of supporting her. In a way, you’d just be enabeling her drinking problem. She certainly sounds like she’s hit rock bottom, but needs someone to direct her. You have to use tough love & realize you are helping her not doing anything against her. You could even call the 800# in the yellow pages for help on alcohol. Maybe even getting yourself involved & going to a few Alanon mtgs. might be of help to you. The people are there for help for you, & there’s a lot of help needed on both your ends. Please don’t wait, do something as soon as you can – for both of you. I know, I’ve been there. I wish you alllll the best. Things CAN be turned around w/some professional help.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know only too well how painful it is. Your mother’s story is very familiar, and her behavior is very typical of someone who is deep into alcoholism.
Please get some help for YOURSELF by going to Al-Anon. The bottom line is, nothing you do or say will change your mother’s behavior. You have no power over it, sadly enough. The only thing you DO have power over is the way you live your own life and the example you set for your kids.
Believe me, if you go to Al-Anon you will meet many people who have the same situation and you will get lots of support. The program will help you reach a place of acceptance and serenity about your poor mother. It’s never too late for her to get help, either — you may want to suggest that she go to AA. She may not listen, but you can still suggest it. And, you may decide to tell her, “Call me when you’re sober. Until then, I’m sorry but I can’t have any contact with you, and neither can my kids.”
Good luck and God bless.
Dear friend. I am a legal expert from a reputed legal firm. I can help you. You can visit our blog for legal information or Please fill free to submit your detailed issue in our legal website and one of us will call you very soon to solve your problem
http://legalservices4less.blogspot.com/2007/05/attorney-for-just-1-day.html