How should the parent who was not fantasized react to his or her spouse being fantasized?
Uh, what makes you guys think it’s me?
Don’t just jump into assumptions.
I am writing a paper on drug addicted babies (meth, cocaine, heroin). Everything that I have read leads me to believe that every child born to a mother who abused drugs during her pregnancy is going to have either long term or short term issues. Is this true? If not, what factors determine if the child is going to have major issues or is it a “luck of the draw” (for lack of better words) kind of thing?
I am married to an addict. He is both an alcoholic and addicted to pills. He has not drank in almost 6 months. But I know he is still taking pills and the worst thing about it is, his mother is giving them to him. He of course denies it, but I know because I have confronted her previously about it and told her if she continued to give him pills that she would not be welcome to our home again and that she is killing her son and causing problems in our marriage. She said she would stop, but he continues to get them. Feel she is still doing it. She has been giving him pills and enabling him since he was a teenager. He is now 37. What do I do? I am trying and have been trying to make our marriage work, but the lies, deceit, and BS are just more than I can stand. All trust is gone. I have nobody to go to for support. He has told all of his family that all I do is nag and gripe, of course this may be partly true, but only when I know he is lying to me and hiding things. I am so tired of it all, and have been going through depression because of it. We have no sex life and I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. Any help or a friendly suggestion would be appreciated.
He has no insurance, and we have no money for rehab. His mother is on Parole and I have thought about making a call, but it isn’t illegal for her to have pills she has prescriptions for and I can’t prove she is giving them to him unless I get on video… don’t see that happening. I have considered the first two suggestions, and yes, I know there is basically one way or the other. Either he gets help or I go. I guess the investment of 8 years is hard to just walk away from. This is my second marriage and I think I am trying harder this time to make it work. I do love him, but it is really hard to keep loving a person I can’t trust. I don’t want to be a bitter old lonely woman. I am still young, but not getting younger… ya know. I am scared of taking the step to leave, but I may have to. I don’t want to be the cause of his mother going to jail, I don’t know what else to do.
okay my cousin is i think 12 weeks pregnant and she is still using her pain pills called
roxicodone.. and it doesnt seem like shes gunna quite anytime soon. so i just want to know like
what some of the side effects are, can the baby come out with any deformaties, brain damage etc..
and i need some answers fast ive tried to help her now for weeks but she wont believe what i tell her..
so maybe if i get some answers from other people she might open her eyes and try and help her kid
before it really is wayyyy to late..
thank you for all of your help
I have a very delicate family situation that I need help with. I have a 10 year old nephew that has a drug addict for a Mother (47) and a Father(39) who will do nothing to get her help. She has been on drugs since she was 18. She has been arrested once, and he got her out of it. She has shown up at the child’s school so blasted out of her mind that the school nurse had to drive her home. She has had several escapes with the police, including two serious auto accidents caused by her drug-induced stupor. Yet he always gets her out of it. Also her twisted, drug enhanced views and paranoia are beginning to pervert the boy’s personality. He is very withdrawn and superstitious due to the crap she fills his head with. I am tempted to call CPS to do an investigation. I wonder if authorities will allow my nephew to stay with his Father or if they will allow me to take custody until she gets the help that she needs.
What are your views and suggestions?
I’m not sure. Ever since casinos became legal where I live, she goes A LOT. I don’t know whether she is addicted or not, or even if it’s okay or not. Here is what I see:
1. She goes at nights; sometimes she goes four nights in a row. She doesn’t go daily, but definitely goes at least twice a week. She always stays for more than two hours. Regularly she is out three to four hours.
2. She doesn’t gamble that much, and sometimes loses and sometimes wins. She loses most of the time, though. I’ll say something between $50 bucks per night.
3. She gets angry every time I mention to her that she goes too often. She just walks away immediately and says she is not hurting anyone. Although, considering that she doesn’t work outside home and that my father is near retirement, I guess she is diminishing her own patrimony.
4. She goes a lot more frequently now after my father came clean about various infidelities. He’s the provider of the family and was hospitalized after he confessed. I feel she’s afraid of getting a divorce; she has no way of supporting herself. On the other hand, she’s old fashioned and doesn’t want to be divorced. My older sisters kind of expect my mom to just get over it, like nothing has happened, and if they hear a row between them, they tend to side with him!
5. My older sisters aren’t too supportive. When they come home they almost expect my mother to take care of the grandkids, all afternoon, even if she’s tired of taking care of the household.
6. Also, my dad is a recovering alcoholic, so maybe she’s getting back at him on some subconscious level, don’t know. What’s sure is that they don’t get along.
7. She really doesn’t seem to believe she’s addicted, even though she really feels the need to go.
8. She rarely goes alone; she usually meets with different old friends there. All of whom were friends of her before the darn casinos arrived. Her friends go a lot too, but my mother goes more frequently than them.
9. Also, another of my sisters got married a few months ago and moved abroad. She misses her badly, since they had a pretty close relationship.
10. My mother was going to therapy, but as always: she dropped out of it.
So, I don’t know, is it dangerous for her that apparent addiction? Is there something I can do? Should I back off? Please, I really need some answers.
Ok, so my neighbor is an admitted drug addict. She has threatened me, and has tampered with my mail. I keep my distance. She also has a four year old son and a live in bf ( who is also visibly stoned much of the time)
Today I went home to find about twenty policeman going into my apartment building. I asked what happened, and they said the boy’s name, and told me that this four year old was found wandering the streets -ALONE- and was currently in the precinct’s custody. and they could not find the mother anyplace. I told them she was a drug addict, and expressed my previopus concerns for the child’s safety. IThey told me child services would be involved.
They asked me a few questions and left. An hour later this drug addict come waltzng into the buiding with her son in tow, like nothing even happened.
I guess what I said could be seen as hearsay, and this woman is I have to admit a damn good actress.
Is this standard procedure?
Is this still possibly being investigated by child services?
My mother has been addicted to crack cocaine for 17 yrs now. our county doesnt allow court ordered rehab. Unfortantly my family has been living with her for almost 2 months now and its driving us crazy….She’s in denile about her addiction. So i was wondering…after we move out should I cut off all communication with her unless she agrees to go to rehab…I cant support her anymore.
ok…my last question looked wrong. But the MOTHER of this poor child is a crack addict-for 19 years. Been arrested, in and out of rehab, total loser. We tried for cutody and $5000 later we were told that since the child wants to stay with her, that is what they are going with.
Since that court date, she is back on drugs, has ben arrested and now we believe that she is using now.
The child basically is at the grandparents all the time who we are not on good terms with since we took them to court. The grandmother is a “proud” alcoholic-she doesn’t hide it. In fact, they just got a dog and named it “Stoli”.
This crack head has tried to harass me by calling CPS on me saying that I drink wine and an drunk around the kid. (Me and my husband sometimes have a glass of wine with dinner and the kid is the type to go to the mother with exaggerated info) CPS immeadiately saw that it was just harassment and dismissed it. That’s just the beginning. Nightmare! Can anyone relate?
I know a mother of 2 who has a pot problem, she uses her money to buy pot and treats 1 of the kids like supreme crap with emotion and physical abuse. Would you rat her out to the authorities knowing full well if you did the child would be put into foster care since no one else in the family would take her in? Also this person has a weed op in their basement.
My husband and I won custody of my stepdaughter 2 years ago. Recently my stepdaughters mother lives with her current boyfriend w/child # 4 on the way. They have fights that the police have to come to their house. We didn’t know about this till 2 weekends ago when SD came home and told us the cops came cause her mom and bf were fighting physcially in front of kids. He grabbed her moms arm, she hit his head, etc. Apparently this is the 4th or 5th time cops came for domestic violence in the last 2 months, we just learned all this. Her mom says he was addicted to pills, and she got his doctor to switch his prescription and they are going to therapy now so everything should be all good again. Well she comes to get her Friday as this weekend is hers. Do we have any right to keep her from going somewhere we DO NOT feel safe for her to go? What if it does happen again & they both go to jail, does my SD goto CPS custody or will we get called to come get her?
We will violate court order if we don’t let her go, we know this. Just wondered if there is anything we can do in a situation thats bad, physcially and emotionally? Or do we have to wait till something bad happens, cause we want to avoid that at all costs!
WE HAVE CUSTODY! We won custody 2 years ago from her mother thru the court system. This is just her weekend to visit her per the court ordered agreement, TX standard visitation agreement.
denies addiction, her health is deteriorating, she fell and bruised herself…has been increasingly emotionally and verbally abusive to me (daughter)..any suggestions?
Mother is 72 years old…drugs I am concerned with are vicodin and ambien cr.
I’m talking about any baby who after it was born had to stay in the hospital to get weaned off the drug of choice their mother was on. I’m in the healthcare profession and I don’t believe in some of the decisions “the system” makes and was wondering what other people thought.
My mother has been a drug addict for, well I guess all of my life, my dad raised me.
Now I’m 23 in college and she’s still in my life…I feel like her mother, talking her through and out of things,sending her money, letting her stay with me, etc.
Sometimes I think it might be so much less stressful to just leave her alone, but then I’d feel like I’d abandoned her…But being her mother/best friend/daughter is really hard and sometimes I know that I’m enabling her.
I know she abandoned me so I could just walk away but I just don’t see it that way..
I have tried almost everything in the book..but she won’t give up the drugs and it hurts the family big time. I feel like the mediator because I’m the only one who still talks to her.
Any advice?
How to I get her to stop playing so much. There’s so much in the world she is missing out on. Rehab?
Him and his girlfriend have a problem with me and my fiance’. they say they dont like her because of shit she has done in her past. My philosophy. The past is in the past. the past stayed in the past because it wasnt strong enough to make it to your future. i love my fiance to death and my brother is a nothing in my eyes . nothing but a worthless piece of shit drugg addict mother abuser who likes to think he runns the show since my father passed away. I need advice about what to do and how do u get a 20 yr old to go to a rehad willingfully.How do u get a girl to understand how much you love her no matter what the fucked up family says to and about her?
I am my mother’s only daughter of 4 children. I am 24 and the only one she treats like crap.
She tries to fight with me about stupid stuff and then says I am the troublemaker!
She invited me over for my birthday this weekend and told me not to ruin her day with my “bull####”
Then she said I was “just like” my brother who she says argues for no reason and is mentally ill. He is an alcoholic drug addict and I NOTHING like him.
She blamed me for the argument and I ended up telling her I needed to go home because her arguments escalate and she won’t let it go until she wins.
I cried all the way home and my husband believes my mom doesn’t like me because she verbally and emotionally abuses me all of the time.
My counselor says she is bad for my self image and I need to limit my contact as a permanent solution to help me handle her.
She is never going to change, so what do I do?
I cut her off for 6 months and wrote her a letter to explain why she hurts me and why its unhealthy for me to visit her. She told me I was a horrible person for the letter because she has “sacrificed so much” for me and I am an ungrateful b!tch.
Please don’t tell me I need to forgive her and all that. She is an abusive person and she refuses to see how she hurts me and says its all my fault. She says I deserve the treatment and won’t acknowledge that she is abusive.
I cannot subject myself and my future children to this treatment anymore. I need advice for dealing with an abusive parent!
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