What to do about homeless, suicidal, drug-addicted mother?
March 30th, 2010
She’s 37 years old.
She’s never even had a stable job or her own place to live.
She’s been in prison 3 times, and in jain countless times.
I am her 18-year-old daughter, and I’ve lived with my grandparents (her parents) pretty much my entire life.
My grandparents have pretty much no money and we’re barely making it by, but she constantly calls for money and to move in here.
She makes my grandma have mental breakdowns and drunk herself to death, crying.
I don’t know what to do now, or even in the future.
I know that there is going to be a time when I have a home and kids and she’ll be doing the same thing to me.
..If she’s not dead.
Worst of all, I love her. I’ve tried to talk to her on the phone to tell her she’s a grown woman and she always babbles about how sorry she is and crys and I say its okay, her only resposibility is herself and she needs to take care of herself! She HAS to, WE CAN’T. I told her we have no money to send her, we’re barely scraping by and she just goes on about how she has no one and no help and she’s starving and..
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!
Okay, the statement about not following in her footsteps was unneeded. Obviously, I am not. Even my manner of typing should reveal I’m educated and stable. I have a scholarship and am going to college, and I know I will lead a succuessful life.
My grandparents are unable to cut her off, she’s their daughter. She’s mentioned killing herself lately.
While I live with them, I can never ignore her existance.
And I will never be able to completely. Despite EVERYTHING, she has always treated me like she loves me. She is my mother.
It is “easier said than done.”
And its really taking an emotional toil on me,
but more so my grandma…
I try so hard but I just can’t make this all go away!
I miss so much school because of panic attacks and break-downs and stress.
I think I make myself sick from stress.
I haven’t even mentioned half of the crazy stuff that goes on because I don’t want pity.
I just want to move away and leave everything behind
but at the same time I can’t abandon my family
I love them!
I KNOW only she can!
I even told her that but she just cries more and it kills me.
But its the truth!
Why wont she just grow up!
dshdfjdgifg.
I probably do need a psychatrist. =\
I went to one before, but she didn’t help at all. I never got to tell her anything, she just assumed, and all she ever did was teach me how to breathe. So I quit going.
get her behind in detox
dont send money it only enables her addictions
tell her not to call you anymore unless it is from a 30 day detox program
I know she’s your mother, and this is easier said than done but you have to cut her loose. You can’t worry about her, you have to take care of yourself and those that have always been there for you. I am not saying don’t talk to her at all but she is not acting like a mother to you so you don’t need to act like her daughter. I beleive she won’t understand no matter how hard you try to tell her how you feel, and it will only make her more upset.
you worry mainly about you and your grandparents and not so much about her. she shouldn’t take advantage of you.
I am deeply sorry about your situation and hope later in life things go well for you :)
You focus on your life and dont let her issues drag you down. Feel sorry for her and go live a life that is nothing like hers. You have two choices,, follow in her footsteps or DONT!
WoW this pretty sad. But the most important thing you can do is stay focused with school. get into college and move away. UR TOO YOUNG to have to have all this on your plate. focuse on school go to college and have fun wit your life. Good luck in your future. :-) if you want to talk email me.
It is hard when we love them. Tell her that she can apply for stamps counseling is too expensive. I’m a kidster myself in an ordeal
I wish I could help
It’s only your mom can change the situation if she wants, no one can do anything to help her.
see a shrink
Firstly my heart aches for you.You are only 18 and educated by your mother how to be selfish,drugs jail and disrespect.Your mother sadly is very ill,i say your mum should go into rehab,get proffessional help,and if she has any love for you or her parents she will do it.It will be a hard battle But what im trying too say if she loves you all as she says she will do it.STOP giving her money,i bet thats the only time she rings.i sincerly wish you all the best of luck on this very difficult JOURNEY.
You sound like a wonderful young lady. I’m pleased to read that you love your mother, in spite of her shortcomings. I wish I had some magical words to tell you that would heal the pain and solve the problems, but I don’t.
Your family needs some professional counseling. It sounds like your mother definitely needs some therapy to help her to figure out how to stabilize her life and get it in order. You and your beloved grandparents need some professional help to know how to cope with the situation and how to best deal with the trauma.
Don’t give up on your mother. Never give up. I suggest that you pray and ask for God to help you to cope and to help your mother to come to her senses and to get some help. I have found prayer to be a great source of strength. May God bless you during your time of need.