boyfriends’ mother addicted to morphine and other prescrption meds?
March 14th, 2010
My boyfriends mom has been addicted to morphine for 30 yrs and takes 40 meds a day. Her husband, mom and siblings did an intervention 15 yrs ago and they no longer speak to her. Her sons, now 28 and 30 are fed up and scared to have an intervention because they don’t want to lose contact w/ thier mom. ONe son is in Iraq for now and the other is just so fragile I think because he really doesn’t have ANY family other than his mother and at the moment. How can I gently explain to my boyfriend that he needs to get his mother help? I don’t trust her at all, i’ve known her for 4 yrs and she’s stolen, lied, cheated and every other thing u can imagine an addict does. She falls asleep randomly with food in her mouth and cigarettes in her hand. She’s a crazy and I don’t know how to deal w/ her or my own boyfriend when it comes to this situation, he’s soooo protective over her.
It sounds as if this poor woman is too far gone to accept help.
The only thing I can suggest is to get legal intervention. I assume that at the dosage you write about, she is doing something illegal. Get the cops involved and have her incarcerated.
well, you have to understand that no matter what she does to him that is his mother, you have to kind of step aside there. he is worried…. but she is an addict, not the scum of the earth. her body depends on these drugs but the caution here is an overdose, which i have seen with one of my best friends. He overdosed on morphine and I was working on the ambulance that went to his house and found him dead on the couch. just support him, let him know that you do not approve of her but you do understand that he is worried about his mother. but he needs to realize that you cannot help someone that will not help their selves. you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink
All you can do is mention how concerned you are for both of them. It sounds like his family has tried everything they can to get her to stop up to this point. If they have the energy to try again, that may be an option and you can bring it up. What you have to understand is that it’s a very fragile situation. You need to be able to support your boyfriends decisions, but at the same time you can’t have these things affecting you in a negative way.
The big thing I’m going to tell you right now is that if you love this man or his family, you WILL NOT deliver an ultimatum. Once more, NO ULTIMATUM. Just to make that clear.
Maybe what you can do is take some time out to talk to a councilor about this and see what options they can give you. Maybe if you come up with some ideas that can help her, your boyfriend will be more willing to assist you in getting his mother some help. Things like a support group, a highly recommended councilor, a withdrawl clinic, a rehabilitation centre, go and research things before you bring it up again. Good luck.
You have to be protective to a certain extent. If she is crazy, the only help she would get would be from doctors that put her on drugs with the same effect. I would see a priest, a doctor, a judge… All sorts of different authorities to get the most well-informed and well-balanced opinions possible. This isn’t a “one solution fits all” kind of situation.
The truth is either your boyfriend needs to get his mother sorted, or you need to get out of the situation.
You need to lay it down on him that she has this problem, I know you said he’s fragile but this situation needs to be sorted A.S.A.P. I believe if he doesn’t realise this himself you are going to have a difficult time, but give it a shot.
You may love your boyfriend but if this is going to be the curse of your relationship, it’s a big curse and can only mean distruction for you, and / or your relationship at some point, so just get out of it now.