my mom and dad are getting divorced what should i do?
January 9th, 2010
OK so my life is F***** up.im 15 years old. up untill i was 13 my life was great my parents got along ok we had lots of money and i had good grades. but as soon as my dads business started losing money my mom got really pissed.hey got separated and my mom started drinking alot. when she drinks she get really mad and billigarent. she stared making rumors about my dad annd she told every one he was a coke head and if u knew my dad u would no he wasnt. and my mom drinks and drives alot and puts me my sister and my friends lives in danger. this year after homecoming i had to drive home when i was still 14 because of how drunk she was. my moms a great person when she dosnt drink but she denys even getting drunk. i called social services and im hoping my dad will get full custidy. do you think im doing the right thing?
You don’t have to call social services to live with your dad. Because you are 15, per the court system you have a choice of who you want to live with. You should definitely be with him. It sounds like the environment your mother puts you in is NOT a good one at all. The next time she drinks and drives (putting your life and the lives of others in danger) call the police and report her. She may get mad at you for it but it will sober her up and she’ll realize what a mess she’s become. That’s tough love. I feel sorry that you’re going through this at such a young age. Hopefully, living with your Dad will bring some stability back to your life.
Yes you are, because your mom is putting your life, sister, friends, at risk of something bad..your dad will get full custody until your mom leaves her alcoholic problem, unfortunately she will realize late that she lost her family, over alcohol, and just pray that this whole situation would help her…
Just try to be supportive to your dad and sister, they need you more than ever, specially your sister, that I’m guessing she is younger…just be patient with her..and make sure your dad explained her what is going on with the family..
Move on, and don’t think about it!, remember you have your dad that still love you…
Good luck..
Of course. Above everything else the divorce is not your fault. If your mom’s drinking is putting you at risk then by all means do what you have to do to be safe, that includes your sister also.
I know that you might not want to tell your dad what your mom’s behavior is then tell your minister. I’ve had friends that have told a priest. There were not catholic but it was easier for them to talk to someone that they didn’t know and someone that would not tell there secrets to anyone. Good luck you deserve it.
If you feel that you will be safer living with your dad then yes, you are doing the right thing.
Parents are not perfect and they do make mistakes, but you are old enough now to learn some things about taking care of yourself, and looking after your safety is number one.
Do not be surprised if your Mum is hurt, and part of her hurt will be guilt, but that is NOT your responsibility. Just tell her you will always love her but it’s best for you to live with your Dad right now.
Also, don’t be too surprised if some of the negative things your Mum said about your Dad are true to some extent. Even kids are not totally aware of what goes on inside a maariage ~ it’s a very closed place, the space between two people.
For your own sake and to avoid drama while you need to concentrate on your school work and friends, try not to get between your Mum and Dad. Don’t take sides, carry messages or be a stooge for either one. They are the adults, let them sort that out.
You’ve done the hard thing ~ now your job is to study hard and prepare for your own life and future.
Good luck! :-)
Wow my heart goes out to you hey. My parents went through a really bad divorce & I ended up living with my father. You are of age where you really should be consulted by the courts. Your parents are dealing with it the only way they know how. No, its not the right way for you but in times like this, it is only human nature to defend ones self. Your mother might come to her senses if you tell her outright that you love her but really think living with your dad will be of benifit to you. Be sure to tell her she is not a bad person but that you feel you would get more out of living with your dad especially given your age etc.
Ahh hunni best of luck. Im 27 now & things are very different between my relationship with both my parents, hopefully it wont take to much time before things change for you too.
As hard as it may be, try to stay focused on school & your own future & not be too involved in what goes on with your parents.
Speak with them both about how their actions are effecting you without talking about the other parent. Tell them both that you are feeling torn & are stuck in the middle & that it is totally uinfair that you have to deal with this at this point in your life when all you should be thinking about is school, girls & cars ;o)
Alright. First off, I’m going to tell you to take a deep breathe. Now, here’s my diagnosis of the situation.
Things were great. Everything was oh-so-flipping-perfect. Then your world gets shattered by one slip of events. Heard that crap, seen that crap, and been through that crap. Anyways, then everything completely falls apart. Your mom is out of line, your father did nothing but leave. She’s been the one drinking, getting drunk, spreading random untrue rumors, putting your life in danger, putting other lives in danger, and just being out of it.
You were right to call social services, but your mom deserves the custody. Not your dad. He never did anything. You can’t blame him for something that wasn’t his fault and completely out of his control.
Cheer up, kid. Things will look up soon.
If you want to live with your dad full time and only visit your mother periodically, let the judge know that when he asks you who you want to live with.
The same thing you told us here, you tell the judge. Don’t hold anything back.
I think your family are going through a rough patch, especially financially. This financial set back has some how disrupte the life that your mom has been used to and have no stress with regards to financial matters.
With this burdern, your mum does not know how to cope with it. So the best thing for her as she thought is to get drunk and forget about the problem and the stresses. In eviably the stress and insult landed with your dad. At this stage, all of you need to be patient and perhaps help your mum to understand that it is NOT the end of the road. What you all can do is be thrifty in your spending and do what ever is neccessary in terms of spending.
Talk to your dad, that your mum is going through the rough patch and ne needs to be very very patience with her..
take care..
Your mother needs help. It is not time to leave her in her own. She need counselling. She needs somebody to talk to her. Her best friend may be. She is just hurt. She do not know how to come out of her circunstances. If you really want to help her, my opinion is that you tried to talk with some of your relatives about the circunstances that is affecting the family relationship, and visit a Christian Church for them to pray for all of you. If you can talk to the Pastor much better, or to someone close to the Pastor, and let him know about the need of prayer, I am sure that the church will pray for you. Do no be affraid, God knows it all, and the prayer will be a lot of help. When there is trouble in the family it is necessary a lot of prayers. Believe me, it will work. At the Christian Churches a lot of miracles occur. You have no idea how important it is to pray when circunstances arise against us. Be at the side of your mother, show her your love, embrace her, talk sweet things to her. Your good actitud will help her to go through all her troubles. Talk positive to her. Talk to Jesus Christ about the good things that you want to happen around you, your house and around your parents. The Lord listen when you talk to Him. He hears your cry. Talk to Him. Pray to Him. God can hear you. Also you can call to a TV station that brings the message of God to the people through the Television. Look for it, and call for prayer. It will be a great help. Someone will pray for you and your parents. Do not be affraid just ask for help. I will pray for your situation. Be bless.