My mom is an alcoholic and I want to help her?
January 4th, 2010
I was thinking of buying her a book or something to read. Anything I can do to help her would be great. I am at college so I am not with her all the time which makes it a little harder. Any recommended book or something that worked for someone out there would help a lot.
FIRST SHE WILL NEED TO ADMIT SHE HAS A PROBLEM. SECOND YOU CAN NOT HELP TILL SHE WANTS HELP. TALK WITH HER AND GO FROM THERE
I personally do not think that a book will help your mom, it is really sweet that you want to help her but alcoholism is a serious disease and the only way you can help her is morally…. talk to her, let her know you’ve noticed she has a problem…. she has to know she has the problem before you help her. After she realizes the problem you can help her by calling her everyday, or as often as you can and check up on her. Maybe recommend AA (alcoholics anonymous) and try and visit meetings with her. That is the best I can say because I do not know a lot about your situation. the web has plenty of sites available to family members of alcoholics.
here is a link to one of many websites
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/blfam.htm
A book isn’t going to stop an alcoholic from drinking she may say to you she reading the book but as soon as you leave for college out comes the bottle.
Mate you ain’t gonna find help on here contact her GP get her in rehab or some course to beat her addiction.
But at the end of the day she has to wont to beat her addiction you cant do it for her she has to do it for her.
I understand there is a support network for families of people who are alcoholics. They will support you, give you advice on how to deal with mom. In the UK it’s called Al Anon. I’m not sure about other countries.
I think the truth is that she has to want to get better for herself; the best love you can give her is tough love – telling her that her behaviour is unacceptable and that the only way you can love her is when she’s sober.
Meantime, I realise you love your Mom; you aren’t responsible for her though. Your responsibility is to get your college degree and develop your own life.
M
My mother was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. All my efforts to try and help her stop drinking did nothing but ruin my relationship with her.
Obviously, the reason for alcoholism lies somewhere. Professional help is needed. All the books, kind words, encouragement and good intentions etc will be wasted.
I’m sorry to sound negative, but I have never come across anyone who has had any success helping an alcoholic. Now I have two alcoholic brothers as well. I find it difficult to believe they developed this illness after watching our mother struggle and eventually bleed to death due to this illness.
If your mother is open to suggestion, the first port of call would be going to see a good psychotherapist who can help find a possible reason for your mother’s excessive drinking and then your G.P who will be able to give your mum guidence, possible medication to help with any withdrawal symptoms (if mum decides to address her problem) and details of support agencies that could also assist.
I wish you luck.
Leave it alone. Let her know how you feel and if she wants to take it to hear then she will…. That’s all you can do.
I drink all the time and it’s great. If it’s only the issue of “it’s going to kill you one day” then just leave it alone because that day is coming and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.