was brother in law wromng today..his actions got my sister crying and it was hard to witness.?
January 3rd, 2010
Kind of interesting story,..Her son is addicted to drugs and oxycontin and destroying everyones life and my mom is dying with less than 6 months and my brother going through a separation after 18 years of marriage and selling his house and moved in with mom with son. This kid I’ll call Steve has lied multiple times, found out he breaks in houses, stolen multiple times from family especially mom and two brothers. Homeless several times due to losing jobs and apartments and refuses help–lies and you set up drug rehab and he doesn’t show up or lies and said he did but soesn’t.
Christmas eve I got a call from my very upset brother saying I wasn’t going to believe what happened..that stuff and Christmas stuff was turning up missing and a dvd & cd player for Christmas and maybe checks & credit cards..[possible car keys?? and that they discovered the attic overhead door moving & he got a gun and went up there and said if anyone is up here (there are tons of boxes up there) show yourself
I’m still posting be patient..or I’m going to start shooting. A bunch of covers moved and there was Steven hiding in the attic. He later asked him how he got in house as they changed locks and Steve said I’ll show you for $2.00 Brother was shocked to see him remove two sticks from sliding dock and chainlock with a tool. He said Steve had ruined his Christmas and they were pressing charges and called police (Steve has made death threats against people in past and obsessed with guns but may not have any who knows and people are scared as he is unstable. My mom is scared if he goes to jail will lose his trucking licence and he with it is gone a few months before he loses the job and this gives them a few months of peace from the constant badgering and begging etc. She thinks if he loses it, they will never get rid of him.
Also if police do nothing, maybe he will retaliate..my brother-in-law Bill thinks he is all talk..as he says if they were really going to kill you they wouldn’t tell you and he learned how to be controlling form very permissive mom who he always got his way twith (until she remarried and new hubby took over and Steve hates hubby and make vicious death threats. Police said they takes that seriously but hubby erased the message..
Today Steve called when we were having christams at brother-in-laws house..and asked for his mom (called several times I think) or his grandma..bill got on the phone and said to Steve “Noone here wants to talk to you..this is my home –you better never call here again.”
Shortly after Steve mom, my sister, started crying (she usually is very unemotionally so I rarely see her cry) Hibby has threatened divorce if she helps her son and she does it behind his back as they are rich and I guess she feels sorry for him but she trys tough love a lot (and this fuels hatered for hubby as before he entered the picture at Steve 18th year of life, Steve could ALWAYS control his mom and get whatever he wanted. she also made him very dependent on her. She made many mistakes like giving him chinese stars, bb guns, mincars, garbage pail kids, etc when he was only age 3-7 and said don’t give him toys as he doesn’t like them–oh should I give him weapons, Sara, (name are changed)..he got toys and discipline from me (so he hated me growing up).
So sister, Sara, in the middle between hubby and Steve and knows Steve is ruining everyone’s life. Bill daughter said he was wrong to say that to Steve and he puts them at risk for revenge…also it’s her son and it is Christmas. Was Bill wrong to say that??
that first paragraph should read stole several times from his grandma and uncles not mom and brothers it’s my mom and bbrothers but not his.sorry.
Also Steve’s mom got very angry at Bill
oh I wasn’t clear..bill and sara are not married..sara is married to johmn who is hubby and bill is married to other sister sue.
Your brother is looking to maintain the integrity of his marriage. Your sister apparently is not. If you saw a situation that was disintegrating your marraige, wouldn’t you say something. Especially when it was just WRONG?! Sometimes the truth hurts and you may end up admiring your brother-in-law for being open and honest with your sister instead of dumping her and leaving her alone with her problems.
No, Bill wasnt wrong in saying that! One thing people forget and they need reminding is that Steve is still part of the family. Hes the Steve you all know and once love . But, he has a serious problem and thats drugs. Hes dangerous. He needs the drugs. He will get them in any way possible. If its lies, If its stealing. It doesnt matter and if he has to bring you harm to get them , most drug addicts will kill if they have to. At this point he doesnt care what heart ache it brings you and your family. Its an addiction for the most part none of us will know or understand.
For your Mother shes a mother she doesnt realize or she hopes hell change. Hes using her and anyone else he comes in contact with. Most times it happens with someone that is not of the family (like a brother or sister inlaw) to say, “Hey your not doing this to this family anymore!” Thats because for the most of you are to envolved emotionaly with Steve.
Think of it like this , if Steve was a son of a neighbor and you heard of all the grief he has done to them would you have any quams in what Bill said? I think not. Not untill the family is undivided and they all can agree and disagree (Mother Included ) how not to be his way of either stealing, lying, venting, threatening, (that are very real especially to your mother rather she realizes it or not) Will he reach bottom and have to get help. The reality to that is some addicts get help then some dont.
My advise is to talk to a police officer in your area like narcotics . Ask them to help. Most officers will help or tell you who to talk to to get help. Trust me you wont be a snitch on your brother. Youll be doing what the most of us that has lost a brother or sister to this addiction wish we had done . God Bless You and Your Family
No, it was not wrong of him to say that, Steve called his house, he had every right to say what he did. Sounds like Bill is tired of seeing Steve hurt everyone, and has taken a stand like others also should. I have an inlaw like Steve, and if he really wanted to do something, he would. He is used to doing things and everyone letting him get away with it. If he hasn’t tried to hurt any one in the past, I seriously doubt he would try to do anything now, he is just trying to scare everyone (like he obviously has) so he can continue to take advantage. Personally, it sounds like he needs a good ass whoopin!