He jokes around a lot about a lot of things, but this is the only thing that really worries me.
I know he used to do heroin when he was a kid, but he quit. he didn’t go to any fancy rehab, or anything, he said he just straight up quit it, that’s what he always told my mother.
He is kind of sick. He has emphysema (won’t quit smoking), glaucoma (just got a cornea transplant and is starting to gain back his sight), and some problem with his kidneys.
I’m 16 and I see him once a week, because that’s all my mother allows me to spend with him, because of his record, and such.
I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I’m the adult, and he’s the child.
Dear Sir:
I am not sure to send this e-mail when I have finshed it. I’m praying it makes it’s way into the right hands..I desperately need some intervention. My story is long and I apologize if I don’t tell it well but it truely comes from my heart…
In June of 2004 my husband and I took in my cousins children. 2 beautiful girls that immediatly stole our hearts. We agreed to this only because we were told the parents were giving them up for adoption. They said we had to wait for them to get out of jail to sign the papers..We trusted them. A months later the mother was released from county jail and we had to return the girls. In November of the same year and the mother called us again and asked if we could keep the children for 6 months while she went back to jail. No one else wanted them. They were 1 & 2 yrs old. Of course, we took them back gratefully. The mother ended up doing 13 months in prison on drug charges…The father did too.
My husband and I called every agency including DCFS to try to keep custody of the children and was told we were to far down the blood line to have any say in the children and that it was DCFS’s policy to clean the parents up, not to remove the children. Once again, we had to turn the children over and the mother refused to let us see them for 7 months.
In September of 2006, I get another call from the mother asking if I’ll take them and put them in school because she had no one to take care of them. Of course, I went and got them. I had them for another for another 11months.
In August of 2007, the grandfather was released from prison and reunited with the grandmother, who was also recently released from prison, decided they wanted the children back where they lived so once again, we had to return the children. 3 months later my husband and I gave up our jobs and apartment and moved to the city the girls lived in so we could at least see them. That month, the mother went back to jail, the father was released from prison and the children lived at their grandparents and we weren’t allowed to see them.
In August of 2008, my husband and I had to move where there was work and begged the mother when she got out of jail to let the kids come w/ us and we would help her find a place and get off the dope. The following month, the mother was busted smoking crack and the children were placed with the grandparents thru Luthern Services.We have not seen them since!!! We have been approved for visitation over a year ago but denied the visits because their Grandparents doesn’t want us to have anything to do with them so DCFS abided by their wishes. I can’t understand why the children were placed with them in the first place. They both have extensive histories of prison, violence and drug abuse just like the parents.
I recently called Luthern Services and was informed that the grandparents want to adopt which means we will never get to see the children we have loved and raised all these years. Don’t we have any rights? I have called agency after agency for the last 5 years trying to adopt these kids. I have followed all the rules and depended on the system not to fail us or the children but once again it has done just that!!! Can we contest the adoption and file ourselves? This is so unfair to us and the children. If you can get them away from the grandparents and convince them you wont tell, they will tell you the want to live with us. Each time we have had to turn them over they had to be pried out of our arms. Isn’t there anyone out the who can help us? All of us!!! Imagine loving and raising 2 children as your own all this time then be denied of seeing them ever again. This is just wrong on so many levels!!! Even if we cannot contest the adoption, is there anyway we can legally get some type of visitation? We are desperate. Everyday without them is a living hell!!! It’s like part of us is lost. Please help us or at least point us in the right direction for help. We have about 6 months before the adoption and we don’t know what else to do!!!
Thank You,
I have been doing internet searches for weeks but can’t seem to get anywhere. Just more phone #s of people who “can’t help” us. I was hoping to come across someone here that might have the right answers, not to cry “boo hoo” !!!
I forgot to add than I live in Central Illinois and I have called several attorneys and the few that will concider want huge retainers and all the others don’t want to fight DCFS. I have been calling state agencies for the last 5 years trying to get these children removed from that environment.
My mother is in a nursing home with dementia and won’t be back. My husband and I moved in with him to try and get him caught up but he is in thousands of dollars in debt. He has two pending foreclosures on the house and there is a lien on it from the state. He is telling everyone that its my fault he is losing the house when all he does is drink and do crack everyday. My husband and I both have full time jobs. Is it wrong to feel that I need to worry about where my husband and I are going and NOT my brother who could care less about us?
In the past two years I have lost my father, underwent an enormous home renovation while living there, had a breast cancer scare, lost my year old granddaugther when her mother abruptly moved away with her, put my son through drug rehab for cocaine addiction, lost my job of 9 years and am now looking for a new one, my second son decided to live with his father, I will be turning 50 next week and my husband and I are separated because he feels I haven’t been there for him. My extended family all lives 1200 miles away and my few friends I have locally are married with busy lives of their own. I feel so alone and depressed. I don’t know how to handle all of this. I cry all the time despite the fact that I exercise regularly and eat healthfully. I go to church but dont know how to fit in. It seems no one really needs friends but me. I’m certain there are others out there who do, but I don’t know how to find them. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
It’s been a few years since she passed away, but I don’t want to let her down.
ha. it gets awkward, cause shes like stumbling around
but hes like say something!
do i say like ”hi miss —-.” thats all ive come up with ha
uggh help :)
I can’t speak to my husband about this because although he, too, has had enough, he is not a “take charge” kind of man. I have to exclude him from my thought process….
Here is the thing… I’m tempted to go over my mother-in-law’s and even my husband’s head to get my mother-in-law help. I know legally I cannot do anything because we are not blood relatives, but I’m desperate and thinking of informing her parents of her instability…
We’ve all had a pretty rough year. My mother-in-law’s current husband went to inpatient rehab for alcoholism and since we wanted to get back on our feet financially anyway, my husband and I moved in with her to help her and to save us all some money. Well, her husband was a horrible person to begin with and now that he is sober and found a new chance at life, he doesn’t want to spend it with her and told her so last week after we have gone broke getting him help. Well, she was already pretty unstable as it was but when she heard that news, I think she has gone off the deep end for the worse. She is driving up there to see him this weekend and beg for him back (which we all know won’t work, drunk or not everyone knew he would leave her) and she is making our life a living hell with her emotions. She constantly snaps at my husband for no reason, she is demanding money so she can skip work because she is “depressed” and she won’t eat or sleep. I’m fairly close to her parents and would have no problem going to them if I knew that was the best thing… but should I? Her parents are fairly in the dark about any of her behavior half the time because she refuses to tell them anything personal about herself. This would no doubt shock them, but could it be a good solution?
Please help…
My husband’s mom left him and his dad when he was 12 for another woman. She came in and out of his life many a time- most of the time on drugs or she was drunk. In February 2008, ( we were NOT married at the time) his father passed away and we both went to the funeral in SC (we live in FL). His mother was at the funeral and since he needed to be around family he let the past problems go. After the funeral she got drunk and it was not pretty. In May 2008 we got married. We couldn’t find her to send her an invitation (my husband said he had gone through many years of not knowing where she was-she didn’t keep in contact). We now live in a small 2 bedroom apartment and I am due with a baby girl any day now. One of those rooms is ours and the other is the baby’s. His mother has recently written us, telling us that she is in rehab for drugs and alcohol. She says she is attending classes to help with these problems. She also is asking to come visit us- “you should invite me down there” as her last letter said. At this point, we want her to continue rehab and we would like for her to visit but we do not have the money for traveling expenses or a place for her to stay. How can we tell her nicely that we can’t have her stay with us unless she pays for it herself and stays in a hotel?
She knows about baby. One other reason we don’t want her to stay is because she smokes and we don’t and she tends not to care (she smoked around my husband’s cousin who was 1 at the time even after she as asked not to. They had to hide her cigs.
I need to know what to do about my mom, she is an alcoholic and is a mean one, like she drinks every night, getting atleast tipsy, and sometimes drunk. I have talked to her all the time about how much her drinking is affecting me, and she doesnt even seem to care, and when she is a bitch to me I tell her how she was and I basically have to tell her to apologize. I dont know what to do anymore. She drinks vodka which makes her really mean, and I even tell her to just drink beer, I have thrown her bottles out, tipped over her cocktails etc. She is a single mom that works 5 days a week 8 hours a day. I am just 15 with no friends and I cant have a life because of my mom. She has said from F*ck you to me, also to Im going to kill myself when she drinks. Now when she is sober she is a good mom but she never listens to me. This is really affecting me…..
Also my dad wants no part in my life because I dont like my stepmom because she is the meanest woman ever, so yeah I dont have a dad to lean to :(
i am a adult child of a alcoholic mother who dose not see the effects that her drinking is having on her family. i would like to know if there are any ways to get her into a program or how to get her into AA i have been trying for the last 10 years and have had no luck at all. my father has passed away so i do not have any suportt outher than my siblings. it has goten to the point that i dont want my child around his grandma and will just leave her house when i suspect she has been drinking .i am being told buy my siblings that thats not the way to deal with it and i dont like to leave her alone but i dont know any outher way (she gets angry and some times violent).she also still has my 13 year old sister still living at home and she is starting to act out ! please help me!!
OK, so my wife and I have been married for 15 years. We have a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl… Well about two years ago, my wife began doing heroin. Now, she is not a full blown addict and still gets the house work done, and still is a good mother… She is essentially just chipping…
Now our children don’t really know, although the oldest may suspect… My wife and I both teach them, not to do drugs…
Well being that it was her b-day, I had my two children chip in, and told them that I was taking mom to an all day spa… Well instead, I figured she would enjoy it much more, I could arrange for a day to get her “fix.”
So I took her to the local heroin den, and paid the guy enough money to keep her high all day… She of course loved it… And no one was none the wiser.
I mean when she came home she threw up a few times and fell asleep during dinner, but we told the kids it was part of the spa treamtment.
Now her mother, had suspected what had happend, got mad and left during dinner, causing this big scene… Upsetting her daughter and her grandchildren… Frankly I don’t think that she is a fit influence for the kids! If I gave my wife enough “junk” do you think she would side with me and get her mother out of our lives?
I had a bit of a crazy family. My mom is wound a bit uptight. When I was young I was really skinny and an pretty child and I was extrememly happy so my mom thought I was going to be gay. I was a bit like Butters in that South Park episode and to this day dispite having a long term girlfriend my mom calls me a queer because I go to the gym and a “gangster” because I am having sex with a “whore”. My dad pretty much smokes pot and beats his wife. My mothers boyfriend is a unemployed crack addict. To top it all I joined the Army to get way from all of this and got the living crap hazed out of me because I was a “pussy” because instead of getting wasted I’ve been working on college. I was beaten pretty badly or scared shitless about getting beat for about 2 years straight. I had my bed pissed on my bed thrown around, they pretty much molested me by grabbing my butt. I am almost out and over 1 year into college while being in the military but I just have no support what so ever. My mother calls me a “robot” because by going to college I am just following the masses or some crazy shit like that. Sometimes I have really bad anxiety and start to sweat and shake in public if nervous and I have a really hard time just leaving my home or maintaining any kind of friendship because I just do not trust anyone and the lack of any support system is scary for me. I have been working my ass of day in and day out trying to better myself but sometimes at night I am so stressed that I cannot sleep and just lay awake sometimes only sleeping for 2 hours a night for weeks at a time only to crash for 12 hours a night on the weekends.
My husband and I won custody of my stepdaughter 2 years ago. Recently my stepdaughters mother lives with her current boyfriend w/child # 4 on the way. They have fights that the police have to come to their house. We didn’t know about this till 2 weekends ago when SD came home and told us the cops came cause her mom and bf were fighting physcially in front of kids. He grabbed her moms arm, she hit his head, etc. Apparently this is the 4th or 5th time cops came for domestic violence in the last 2 months, we just learned all this. Her mom says he was addicted to pills, and she got his doctor to switch his prescription and they are going to therapy now so everything should be all good again. Well she comes to get her Friday as this weekend is hers. Do we have any right to keep her from going somewhere we DO NOT feel safe for her to go? What if it does happen again & they both go to jail, does my SD goto CPS custody or will we get called to come get her?
We will violate court order if we don’t let her go, we know this. Just wondered if there is anything we can do in a situation thats bad, physcially and emotionally? Or do we have to wait till something bad happens, cause we want to avoid that at all costs!
WE HAVE CUSTODY! We won custody 2 years ago from her mother thru the court system. This is just her weekend to visit her per the court ordered agreement, TX standard visitation agreement.
i started smoking on halloween and now i can’t quit. im 14 years old. what should i do? my mom was addicted to drugs and she is now involved in narcotics anonymous. i don’t want to tell her im addicted because im afraid she’ll hate me. she always hated drugs so much. weed is taking over my life. all i ever think about is how to get weed, and when to smoke weed. i was even stealing change from around the house and from my little sister just to get weed. how do i quit?
i know i’m addicted. i feel depressed when i don’t smoke it, so i always smoke it. i use it when im sad, i think i know im addicted. that was not the question. thankyou to the other answers though.
I’m 17 years old and I like to have Girl’s Night every once in a while with my close girl friends. We don’t drink all the time, but most of the time we do, and instead of trying to go through a source or steal one of our parent’s alcohol, I was wondering how I approach my mom and ask her to buy alcohol for us. When we party we stay in one place and all stay the night, no driving, so I think we’re being pretty safe about it. My mom usually brings my younger sister, who is 15, to her boyfriend’s house and gets drunk with her sometimes when I’m not home. She always says how I’m the good child and I don’t do that kind of stuff, but I would rather be straight up with her and let her know that i drink, and have her know exactly what I’m drinking. My mom knows all my friends, most of us have been friends since grade school, and my friends and I would be perfectly fine staying at my house to drink if it made my mom feel better, and all my friends said they would help pitch in for the alcohol. I just am not sure how I should go about asking her to do this.
Help please!
At what stage of development in the womb does the baby share any of the mother’s food (if any at all)? If the mother drinks during pregency, say beer, does the baby get drunk and move around kicking slightly?
I am a 19 year old male who lives in chicago ill, i live alone and has lost both my mother and father to drugs. and i am struggleing with a serious marajuana addiction myself, i smoke daily and is in serious need of help, i really want to go to rehab but i will not be able to pay my rent if i do go, my question is are there any grants or money out there that will help me with my rent while im in drug recovery…
Heyy i’m not sure if i have binge eating disorder, i learned about it in health class but i was too shy to ask for more information on it, well im 13 im 5’5 and i weigh 245. I eat when im bored, for breakfast ill have cereal and a p-b and j sandwich for lunch ill have ice cream or a nutty bar with something like chips n’ cheese or pizza or noodles, for dinner ill have ice cream, p-b and j, noodles, and cereal. Im a very picky eater, but i do eat at least 3-5 P-b and j sandwiches a day and that and maybe 2 bowls of ice cream. i eat AT LEAST 6 times a day. if you do think i have binge eating disorder what can i do to get help? I want to ask my mom for super weight loss pills but im scared too, and does binge eating give you crazy moods, like being depressed, jealous, and angry all the time? i am on welbutrin, and at times i do have suicidal thoughts. and can being over weight make you not have your periods? as i said im 13 and i get it about 2 times a Year., please help me out here? :c
Im vegetarian by the way xD
My other mom friends have gossipped about this other mom saying “I like her daughter, but her mom is an alcoholic, if you watch her daughter for a few hours, count on watching her for 12.” I have witnessed this myself. So the other mothers are distancing their children from the alcoholic’s daugher.
My grandmother was a chronic alcoholic for years. My mother is still quietly suffering emotionally from growing up with a mother who was neglectful. As a result, my mother doesn’t touch alcohol and has grown-up to be a productive member of society and she was a very caring if not overprotective mom.
I asked my mom if I should risk losing my gossipy “mom friends” to help this little girl…and let her play at my house with my daughter for the 12 hours just to help HER as the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother said as she got older she became aware of not being able to bring friends home and all she wanted was a best friend, a mother-type who showed she cared for her.What’d you do?
my mother is insistent that i am enabling my father to be an alcoholic and enabling him is interfereing with my life…the thing is, i do not think i am enabling him…he lives very far away and i only talk to him every two weeks….she thinks i should quit talking to him because he did not move near us when they divorced…he payed child support and spoke to us on the phone…i do not feel affected by his alcoholism…i am a strong person, who does not drink and i am not a victim…i am very nurturing to my children… i have broken the chain of abuse. my mother thinks that the chain is not broken simply because i communicate with him. i am trying to explain to her that i am not enabling him just by talking to him. i am disattached from my father, so i do not care if he drinks…i need proffesional psychological advice on how to explain to my mother that i am not enabling him and communicating with him is not hindering my life…she is hindering my life with this subject…help
